PetiteCadeau

Went to the gym this morning and had a light leg workout..I felt good and strong ..restrained myself instead of pushing myself to go heavier but..heard about this "coregasm" that women can experience while working their core (abs) and doing yoga. Ok so I skipped the abs but definitely going to yoga tomorrow...Spent a lot of time on the phone with a CD girlfriend whom was delightful as always and checking out this fetish shop in Seattle tomorrow..I can't wait.

In the states after leaving Paris 3 weeks ago going back in August but it's much to early to be thinking about that. I just need to relax and concentrate my energies on enjoying my time here and NOT overloading my schedule as I'm prone to do..
Doing a lot of thinking lately about the scene despite my best efforts. I participated in a mini dulathon (1 mile run, 10 mile bike, ride 1 mile run) to set my baseline exercise program.. been working out, joined a swimming class and started my yoga class again (after a long absence) to no avail
I can't stop thinking about ..playing with and turning it over in my mind about what I like  ( dominant women, sensual domination, submissive men, forced feminization- I do so want a male barbie doll of my own), my limits  (bodily fluids, toliet and race play, no submitting to men..right off the top of my head), what I want (to submit to a woman, domme a man), what I know (very little- what I experienced with 2 female dommes -years ago, what I've read)   what I don't ( a lot, my real limits with women) and how I'm going about filling in the blanks. I'm tired of just reading  erotica..I'm tired of men, that pretend to be women, that don't understand that I'm interested in WOMEN dommes and SUBMISSIVE MEN for play,  and MEN AND WOMEN for friendship and learning. How many ways can I say I don't submit to dominant men. I don't play with dominant men bc my husband is completely dominant and fulfills that totally for me.   I try not to look at the negative however because I've chatted with some really cool, respectful men so it's not all negative;  there are certainly more positive. Oh well..I've decided set some goals. Goal a)  to do a classy photoshoot. I love the shibari pictures and some others but I have to get over my shyness. I'll set a date that'll force me to do it. b) I think I'll write some of my ideas down and submit them to a free erotic website, hopefully for others to enjoy. c) Finally, I'm going to step out and maybe go to a few munches. I really need to connect with others. I'm never going to learn isolated with my purely "vanilla" friends.

Wish me luck!!

OMG...It's sooo late and my girlfriends are coming over and I only got outta bed  to take a shower, write for 10 minutes and get fast food menus...their bringing wine and whatever else so this day doesn't seem like it's going to get any more productive...

Ok so it's 4am.. running is completely out of the question no way am I getting up and doing it. 2.5 hours sleep and strong coffee will have to get me through tomorrow/today...I guess now is the time that I should lie to myself and say "next time I'm going to bed earlier" and since that's never happens and I'm too tired it looks like I'm going to have to bite the bullet on this one...

All an dall a wonderful day...almost spent Thanksgiving alone thankfully  a girlfriend came by to rescue me..or at least drag me away from my work...

I still can't figure the video camera out or why my laptop won't let me chat or a hundred other computer related things ..sigh WTH??!!

Ok the Collarme chat won't work on my PC what the heck is that about??? So much for getting to know others via that route so I guess I'll take a break in my procrastinating and get back to work...

Seriously???!!

I joined the site less than 12 hours ago and I already recieved an insulting email..LOL..it wouldn't be funny if it weren't true. Ironically enough that was exactly why I wrote my profile the way I did and tried to be as upfront and honest as possible and even that doesn't work. Oh well..there are those that have no idea how to interact with others and so they conduct themselves so I guess I ran into one early. C'est la vie so I suppose there is no use in complaining..

HOWEVER, I must say it was a little surprising because it came from an older male. I guess I've been spoiled because all my older male friends and acquaintances have been perfect gentlemen.  That must because they are  content and happy with their lives and from the stories they've shared hasn't been all peaches and cream for them. Yet through it all they've managed to maintain their ability to be positive, kind, considerate not bitter and negative..much better qualities in a person I'd say.

OMG..sitting here trying to figure out this  camera is not the thing I wanted to do when I starting procrastinating..  I'd be easier to just write the my paper but dammit I'm smarter than this inanimate object!! I guess it would be easier to let my friend take the pictures but that would open up another line of questions and conversations I'm much tooo tired to have tonight.

Plan B.. Go ahead and eat the 2 lucious chocolate mousse desserts for dinner..that sounds like a much better and healthier way to approach this whole situation. After all it can't be emotionally healthy to stress oneself out over something so minor as a camera. Plus I'll just go running later tonight and everything balances itself out..