Naseranya

I Had some very tragic family affairs as of late I lost My grandmother on May 24^th 2009 and My aunt after finding out about her sister ( my Grandmother) died on May 25^th 2009. I now have a grandfather in the hospital dead sick, So I'm sorry to all of those who know me, and Know I?ve been grieving pretty badly, I'm slowly making it back to myself with the help of all my friends. I appreciate what you all have done for me, and You all know I will be back sooner than you think. My grandfather is getting better and I had said my good byes to my grandma and aunty. So thank YOU all who Have supported me at my weakest point this Year. You?re my saviors and Best Friends. Love You all! Thank You again!

Restlessness

I sit and ponder upon what my life has become

I stare at the screen at work

I remember where things were better

Or was it worst

I try to remember

My legs move, my arms shake, my mind tries not to think

And still my heart brings your name forward

Out of the darkness and into the light

Upon my mind fresh as if  I just got stabbed

With the sweet restlessness you are

I remember those blue eyes, and soft smile

And my heart pounds again

I remember the sweet nothings you used to say

And I can?t help but to smile as my eyes water

You have always been the weakness I resent

I remember the pool and that night

The corset and stockings

The sweet lover boy under my hands

And I shake with the memory of what could had been

I become restless to have you again.

And I know better than to believe you will come back

And yet my mind fights with the sweet memories

That my heart pushes forward

My body quivers as it wishes you near

And I become once more yours

Under the sweet temptations you bring

The restlessness you give

The tears you brought

The courage to know I can do better

The pain that means I have lost you

My body comprehends nothing

My mind says good reddens

My heart holds on

To fawn memories of you

Such restlessness you bring from me

You?re my restlessness

And as I lay to sleep you?re gone

Slowly leaving me

And the better thoughts and times come forwards

 And I know I'm over you.

Such sweet restlessness

Price of Submitting

Have you ever thought of giving yourself over?

To let another take your life.

Make it what they want,

Mold you and shape you.

Into what he wishes of me.

To let them hold you, mold you

Turn you into something you never thought you could be

Have them beat the control out of you

Have them caress the want from you.

It?s what they wish.

As they bondage you physically

They bondage you mentally and spiritually

You give over your body willingly,

But your mind stays trap,

Giving you a chance to find out what you?re truly made of.

The rope maybe harsh and the lashing worst

You try to figure out what you done wrong.

Slowly as he caresses your body with both instrument and hand

You feel yourself loosing control

As he drains it and change it.

He now owns you, You no longer care for your own needs

Only his, his touches mean the world to me

His sweet words bring you higher or lower.

You give yourself over mind and body

And yet what of the heart and soul.

The more he shapes you, the more you loose

The more he makes you perfect for him,

The more your heart and soul are gone

Until you sit there on your knees looking up

You realize you?re truly His.

The thought scares you, excites you

The warmth of that smile, the touch of his fingers

You know it?s was all worth it

The travel between giving over and been taken

Was long and hard, but it no longer matters

What was the price of giving over completely?

Giving your thoughts, soul, and body over.

Looking at him, seeing that smile, its like been praise

You realize that it no longer matters

And that?s the price you Paid.

To lie next to him, to be what he wants and in return he is what You want.
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 there it is...theres one more but Im not posting it up yet...