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| Questions for Bruce
1. How did you become a submissive male?
"Submissive" is a loaded word. I tend to be quite assertive and creative in the vanilla world, but from a very early age I have been drawn to intelligent powerful women who enjoy their Feminine Power and express it casually through dress, demeanor, and attitude. Fetishism had a great deal to do with my eventually becoming the slave of a powerful Domina. You can check your psychology books on the origins of sexual fetishism since I can't really explain mine.
2. What is your basic philosophy on FemDomme?
I am not a believer in absolute Female Supremacy, Gynarchy, and the like, but I do believe certain women have fully realized their power spiritually, intellectually, and sexually and these women deserve to be worshipped, served, suffered for, and obeyed like potent Goddesses or benevolent Queens. I have spent my entire adult life seeking these qualities in the opposite sex because I feel I represent and manifest their balancing agent, their reciprocal. Thus I come to them on my knees not as an object or toy to be casually mistreated or taken advantage of, but more as a chivalrous knight or consort. An equal partner. Yes, I will obey, serve, and suffer but only for the one that grants me the proper respect and has earned my trust and love.
3. What do you expect from a Domme/Mistress?
She must be a set of complex contradictions: respected friend and gentle lover, strict authoritarian and severe sadist; generous and nurturing, cruel and unmerciful; casual and relaxed, formal and haughty; warm and intimate, cold and unattainable; independent and confident, but yet somehow still a bit fragile. This is a tall order and merely scratches the surface, but she exists. She must possess the self-confidence and sheer will to tap into the darkest part of her psyche and the ability to wield her darker tendencies and sadism to strengthen her love and power over me. She must be independent and not need a slave, but wants one badly and feels she deserves me kneeling at her feet. She must be comfortable with her feminine attractiveness and be willing to exploit it through dress and attitude. She must respect and adore the person I am and never forget that D/s and SM are balancing acts between two people with distinct personalities and needs. She must represent and manifest the reciprocal to my submission and masochism, be the yin to my yang. She must trust me fully, and I must trust her.
4. How do you intertwine D/s, BDSM, and love into a workable relationship?
Its not easy and takes two remarkable people who are willing to explore, discuss, explore some more, and so on. The rules and boundaries of a serious D/s relationship do not come about over night, but take months or years to develop and test with numerous bumps in the road along the way. Each person in the relationship has to come into it with clear ideas of their basic experiences, expectations, needs, and their hard limits. Time stretches these expectations and shifts them accordingly, and eventually a level of trust and love develops that allows needs and limits to be fully understood, shared, and shifted. Once this takes place a fuller and deeper, and unspoken, understanding exists. Then the relationship becomes like a surface or fluid horizontal plane along which a vertical plane representing D/s and BDSM intersects but moves constantly like a camera's focal point from one end to the other, from the subtle to the extreme. The transition from the singletail to the street is seamless and unnoticeable. When both parties are contributing their share to the relationship equitably, when the rules for both are second-nature, the relationship thrives and grows. There are times when the rules are broken or misunderstood, or things become inequitable. It is during these times that both parties must reassess their chosen roles and responsibilities, but not forget that the whip lies kinetic in the closet, or that the keys to the collar are nearby. Like anything in life, a workable relationship is fragile and fleeting and needs constant attention to continue amicably.
5. What are your hard limitations?
I have very few. Anything involving animals. children, scat, and/or extreme blood or injury is off-limits. I will never submit to a so-called male master - the whole concept defies my logic and experience. Maybe there are a few male masters out there who deserve the title and a devoted slave or two, but I have never met one. And any male that thinks that just because I am collared at my Mistress' feet allows him to talk down to me or ignore me will soon find himself begging me for mercy. Nor will I submit to another woman unless under the guidance and authority of my Mistress in a pre-arranged situation. Currently, I am uninterested in bisexual or homosexual activities with another male, but this notion is flexible if the situation and people involved are well known and trusted and this activity is desired by my Mistress for both her satisfaction and my growth. I am not in the least interested in being sexually cuckolded and will break all chains that bind me to prevent this.
6. What does fetishism mean to you and how does it affect you as a submissive?
As stated previously, fetishism is the source and catalyst for my submission and masochism. All of my desire and will begins at the singularity that is the tip of her sharp heel or smooth gloved finger, and expands from these points to encapsulate the whole woman before me who understands this and is willing to use it to bring me to my knees or suffer beyond expectation.
7. What are your thoughts on chastity?
Chastity is a very powerful and useful tool in a FemDomme relationship. Chastity has taught me that orgasms are rare and to be treasured, and can be produced in the most unexpected and fulfilling ways beyond the normal expected methods. Surrendering control of the ability to have orgasms to a dominant woman is a sublime experience and has profound effects on me as a submissive. My desire grows deeper for her every day but not entirely sexually - it becomes more worshipful, masochistic, and obedient. My desire to serve and suffer becomes paramount until I can think of nothing but her and her power over me. Likewise, her power, beauty, and sexuality grow exponentially and proportionally before my eyes. It is these times when scenes become so intense that they border on transcendental. And when she does allow me an orgasm, it is beyond expectation, almost like the first orgasm I ever had. Let me repeat that - like the FIRST orgasm. Do you remember your first orgasm?
8. What are your thoughts on being a masochistic male?
My masochism is selective and my pain tolerance is always shifting. There is a big difference between a regular disciplinary or training whipping that leaves me begging for mercy quite quickly, and a long slow erotic scene that defies all boundaries where I crawl away with the most intense and widespread marks i have ever received but hornier and more desirous than ever. Both of these scenarios are valid and have their place in a FemDomme relationship - I firmly believe one cannot exist without the other. Tolerance needs to be built up, and nothing reminds me more of my place in the relationship than an efficient hard paddling or whipping. I see my marks in the mirror afterwards and find myself humbled, broken, and feeling truly lucky. When aroused, however, and feeling beyond submissive, the slow build-up of an intensely erotic torture and whipping scene allows me to bond with my Mistress in a way that can only be described as spiritual and sexual, in a word, again, transcendental. This IS sex for me. My masochism is also proportional and reciprocal to her sadism: if she wants to break me, then i want to be broken, especially if I can see her doing it to me, see her tight glove gripping the singletail in earnest, see her beautiful feet in her most dangerous heels flaying my cock and nipples, see the sweat on her brow and leather encased bosom as she swings the whip, see her parted red lips as her breath increases, see the look of lust and passion in her eyes as she pushes me beyond the beyond.
9. What is the difference between fantasy and reality in a 24/7 Lifestyle?
In many ways there is no difference for me at this point. It is impossible to make the distinction when I am used to waking up every day locked into my steel collar wearing some sort of chastity or CBT device and spend 90% of my time naked serving and suffering for her. Her in heels brandishing a whip and me naked, marked, plugged, chastised, and collared is quite normal for me at this point. Certainly, there are times when clothes are mandatory, and I must face the vanilla world, but even then I am wearing my chastity device or a cock ring and am constantly and subtly reminded of my position. Keep in mind, though, that reaching this point has taken a lifetime to achieve and realize, and maintaining the balance is hard work. As mentioned previously, it is like the intersecting and movable planes: the D/s and BDSM never go away but move effortlessly from the subtle to the extreme. I have seen and studied the images on popular sites like the OWK or English Mansion, and have determined that what I have done almost daily is so far above and beyond these popular fantasy sites.
10. What are your favorite BDSM and D/s activities and why?
I adore very severe and lengthy whippings of all forms including caning, singletails, paddling, etc. It is rare indeed when I am not covered in severe marks of some sort. I also love all forms of CBT, nipple torture, bondage, and anal play, especially when they are combined and heavily intensified over a long scene in which I can see her. These acts represent the physical stimulation of my body and mind's eye and reinforce my submission. To be at the mercy of my Mistress and to witness and experience her sheer will and sadism is the most erotic thing I can experience. Being tormented and stimulated by her sharp heels is crucial as well. She should enjoy and get used to crushing my cock head under her heels, sometimes casually pinning it to the floor while we have a conversation or she relaxes - this represents the ultimate in Female Dominance and is the most incredible blend of pain and pleasure for me. On a D/s note, I love it when she is strict with me, not allowing me to sit on the furniture or speak or forces me to be in humbling bondage or other gear while performing daily chores. Again, I transform the pain and discomfort into eroticism knowing she has willingly done this to me, and the act of her exerting her dominance in these ways only makes me love and honor her more.
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