MistressMandyPDX

I edited my profile again and said I had entered into a relationship with a sweet guy. Well... He might not be so sweet. Hes a dick, in all reality. Ive hit a very rocky patch in life, (wont go into details) but hes entirely uncompassionate towards my feelings and the things Im going thru. Ridiculous, right?

Another thing I was thinking about...

Selling my panties. Any thoughts?

I think I want to do online stuff like on Yahoo or Skype. No cam stuff, not too fond if it. (Atleast on my end) But I think I can do it. Give orders and have people do stuff that I want them to for a by minute fee. One of my close friends cam-girl stuff and she likes it and theres a big market for it.

Hmmm...

Im getting highly irritated at the persistance of those whom I turn down. And the frequency of how often I am persued. Mind you, this isnt just in the lifestyle. Its in life in general. No one is interesting me and I doubt anyone with intrigue me anytime soon. I dont want a relationship, I hardly want anything with the way the men around keep acting. None are worthy of Me.

Does that sounds bad? Thats really how I feel. No one that I have enountered could ever live up to the standards I have set for myself. Its not that Im picky, its just Im picky.

Yahoo is pissing me off today. StupidFuckingWorthlessPieceofshitComputer. UGH! I just want to post a new pic! Why wont you work?!

People have been wanting to get to know me. Cool. It is encouraged. But its hard to get to know me. Show me the effort...? So if youre really interested, Im an open book, its up to you to read the pages. ?

((You really want to get my attention, intrigue me))

I got a very nice email from someone today, very sweet. She gave me some advise. Told me to visualize what I want and need in a man/sub. Im going to give it a shot. Brainstorm a little, maybe paint on it.

So, My Luscious may not be what I thought he was, thanks to a very long conversation with a friend. See, my appetites vary and I get bored easily. (Something that I have come to see as a trend in s) with this guy and maybe try to be his friend? Or have nothing to do with him sexually at all and maybe try to be his friend? Or not even be his friend at all? Should I just use him to prey on when Im ready to hunt and forget about it when Im done? Hmm... 

*I cant have him romantically, he fetishizes BBWs. Dont want to be trapped in another relationship again for a while anyway.

Grr!

Well... I met this guy on my first day of my new job. We didnt get to talk a whole lot but he definitely caught my eye. Gorgeous. Makes me want to drool. Anyway... I got his name but he didnt get mine. I remembered it and like a week later, I found him online. We started talking and we swapped number. So far, talk about a dream come true. Hes charming, educated, well versed and all around Luscious. ((Which is what I call him))

I introduced him to my Girly and they hit it off... Made me very jealous for a while but we've let a guy come between our friendship before and I wasnt going to let that happen again.

My Luscious makes me very aware of myself, I get stumped with him. I have him, I know I do. But I feel like I dont know what to do with him. Never believed anyone when they told me I could have any man I choose.

What to do, what to do?!

Milkshakes and Sex?!

So, from some of my previous posts, some of you may have read I wanted to be a model and I was accepted to be a Suicide Girl and yad, yad, yad. Well, today, I did my first photoshoot thru a different company, but Im officially a model for them and from what I hear, I take great pics. Im really excited to see them, Ive been antzy all day over it. I may or may not post pics. Havent decided yet. But Im super stoked to have this opportunity and I cant wait to see where it leads me. Eee!

So... for a few months now changes have been brewin in my head. My in a point of my life where its time to take another step in growing up, moving on with my life. Well, it takes a toll on relationships. And oh, boy, it has. Haha!

Well, my partner is an idiot to say the least. Just really didnt want to grow up. Ridiculous really. He and I just broke up, thru a God damn txt! I hate that. Its the lowest way to break up with someone... Anyway, I knew this was coming, so did he. But whats really erking about it is that when the problem was 50/50, (him and I both had issues), he turned it around on me and played the blame game. "Its all your fauly, not mine", is what it was about in so little words.

Im not ever quite sure how to feel about the break up. We knew it was coming, like I said, but it ended so abruptly, so like, what the fuck, how are you suppose to react? Maybe it just hasnt hit me yet. I dont know. I guess Ill know when I get there, huh?

Until next time...

Sooo... I used a buttplug on my partner the other day. He was makin all kinds of beautiful noises. I could tell he definitely enjoyed it. Afterwards when we were talking about it, all he could say was that we should do that more. Fine by me.
But, Im not sure how I felt about it. I mean, it was kinda cool. I enjoyed it, especially with the noises he was making. I just still dont know how I feel about it. It seems odd to me but then I ask myself why it seems odd. And I cant answer myself.

I know a secret about my dad that it wish I didnt know, he likes to be fucked in the ass. His ex-wife told me that. I doubt thats why Im having a dilema figuring out how I feel about this subject.

What makes guys like their ass being played with besided prostate stimulation?