I found this on , and I can't explain how very true it is for me. Replace He with she (of course :P)

He is not pushy, and is ready to spend the time to get to know you

Even his first message indicates he has read your profile and is genuinely aware of you as a person.

He is relaxed and informal, and stresses that he does not expect more formal treatment unless, and until, you have both agreed to take the communication and the relationship to a higher level.

He uses a respectful tone and does not ask that you “kneel and obey” him.

His self-confidence allows him to have an adult conversation without insulting you or trying to make you feel guilty in any way while you two are getting to know one another.

He is willing to have several conversations with a low-key, non stressful approach that makes you feel comfortable getting to know him better.

He does not establish any sort of time limit for the relationship to escalate, while at the same time indicating he is ready to progress at your pace.

He welcomes subs that are either experienced or newcomers, as he knows they will be respected and well cared for if they should agree to join with him in a relationship.

He respects your limits and discusses them openly with you.

He understands that some limits are oriented to the giving side, while others may involve receiving.

He is willing to share his own limits with you in an equally frank discussion.
While recognizing that sexual activity may be involved in scenes between partners, he also recognizes that scenes may not necessarily end in intercourse.

He can have a relationship that does not involve overt sexual activity, if that has been negotiated.

He does not view social contact, such as a Munch or a discussion group, to be a recruitment site, but rather a social gathering of like minded individuals.
He respects that you may have had previous partners within the lifestyle,, which have helped you to get where you are in the experience curve.

He respects that you may be recovering from a harmful past experience and wants to help you have a genuinely positive one this time.

He respects that just because you wore a collar from another does not guarantee you want to wear his collar.

He understands that monogamy is the statistical majority for relationships, and accepts your choice, whether it is monogamy or another type of relationship.

He is honest in explaining his existing relationships, if any exist so that you can make an informed choice whether to pursue a relationship with him.

He is very willing to frankly discuss his experience, and the lack of it, in any area.

He believes in safe words and encourages their use if either partner feels they are necessary.

He regularly cleans and disinfects his toys.

He may have certain toys that are reserved for play scenes with a specific partner.

He understands that the difference between thud, impact, sensation and sting types of toys may be quite profound, and transitions from one type to another slowly enough to avoid leaving his sub hanging from a sensory ledge, so to speak.

He practices his craft, and may invite you to observe or participate.

He understands that the scene is not over until the aftercare is over and the play space has been cleaned for use by others.

He does not touch the belongings of another, living or inanimate, without permission.

He respects the play space of others with silence and care.

He does not assume ownership of an unattached sub. Nor does he demand undeserved respect.

The Dom respects the rules of the establishment where he finds himself.

He does not play while under the undue influence of alcohol or other substances.

He is willing to share his knowledge and experience with others while respecting their quest for knowledge. He is accepting of newness in others that seek to learn.

He is involved in the leadership of his local bdsm community, if appropriate.

He is willing to whisper wise counsel in the receptive ear of another.

He seeks the respect and trust of others by his example, not by his words.