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Lyeyo
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I have been from a dominant source for as long as I can remember but that is not necessarily a good thing. I believe through the later years I have learned to adapt, understand and be resourceful to my roles and inclinations. What amazes me is the idea that being Dominant or submissive is a static fate of a sort. Those who believe this, sacrifice growth and understanding of themselves and tend more towards the addictive rewards of all of this.
If one cannot question their motivations, urges and environment then one exists in a world of fear.
If one cannot question their own dominance then they leave others no choice but to question it for them. The hard reality is that being of a strong Dominant or Submissive source can be from an addictive state. Our past environment, experiences and conditioning all play a role to deliver us to this present moment. If we choose to say the words; "This is who I am" then we come from an addictive realm but if instead we are inclined to say; "This is where I am" then we become more real to our situations and give growth and understanding strong operatives in the way we exist.
Living a human life has never been nor will it ever be a static experience. Those who try to make it such only sucumb to denial and hardship wondering why they can never find happiness or consistent content. We take on roles through experiences and as we do such, we let go of our past positions. When we become extreme in a position, it is only an underlying sign that we cannot let go of the past. Fear weakens our perceptions and direction. Denial fades our willingness to change. We become trapped within our own chaos. I have been there, I have seen it and I want no part of it.
It is better to try to accept the new day as it comes without prejudice and to adapt to the new experiences and let go of the old self as growth intervenes.
"Within every Master breaths the servant and within the educator prevails the student. One is not true without the other, co-existing in harmony and state."
Michael J
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Each week I go through the list and say; nope, nope, nope, nope. Most of you are here for a reason and I DON'T want that REASON! You are messed up and just cling to something that DOES NOT EXIST. Lord help us in this free land where we can choose and repeat our mistakes over and over and over again. Some of you just will NEVER get it. It is not what you search for that is the problem, the problem is YOU. You search for something that does NOT exist and you only trump your future with futile attempts to get what you can't possibly receive. Messed up? Maybe.... Ok, probably A LOT! |
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This morning someone close to me was hurt. I think the normal view for us dominant types is to look at it from a secular perspective. Maybe that is a fault and could even be a flaw? When I look at how this person is hurting, I realize that we all play a part. Even though I was not the one who caused the immediate pain, my actions and behaviors could have contributed and even confirmed paradigms that put this person in their state of pain.
I think there are two states of mind, one where you want something and are willing to avoid, distract and allude to get it. Then there is the state of mind where you feel what you do matters and what you say or do contributes to it. I want to be in that latter state of mind and feel much more connection to what I do and think. I am not perfect and I am not always right but I want my intentions to be pure.
The ripple effect really does exist and our behaviors contribute to it daily whether we want to ignore it or embrace it, it is there. |
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What exactly does the phrase:
"Under Consideration" mean?
When I see these words, I have to chuckle. I mean, you either are in, or you are NOT in. "Under Consideration" means that you might have some psychological need to hold onto something you really have no interest in but at the same time, you do not have the backbone to let them know the sad news as you were not really much of a dominant in the first place?
When I see the words "Under Consideration" it tells me I am reading the profile of some sorry sap who will be searching again in 4-6 weeks in the future as they have stumbled upon an individual who has no ability to make up their mind or let go of the 5 opportunities they perceive they have within their grasp. For such sorts, it is about the fantasy more than the reality of it all.
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Ok, We have different categories for people on here. I think it goes Female, Male, Couple and Trans.
I just do not think some guy with his nutsack hanging out should be classified as a female. Pick again please.
And having been to the Philippines more than once, girls seldom grow to be 5'-5" there. So I suggest people be nervous if one is listed at 5'-6" or taller Over there they call those "bakla" or Lady Boys etc.
So, here is my point. If someone has to try to trick you with their gender because of whatever reasons, then what makes someone think they are not going to be untruthful or in the least, unclear, in other areas?
Not that I am an expert on this but it seems females have no issue with listing that they are female whether lesbian or straight. It seems only the males have these issues. I could be wrong though as my sample size is very limited as I do not actively research these things.
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Sometimes the measure of our character is defined in the capacity we can endure as opposed to who our friends are.
*me*
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I should make something clear. I do not accept racism or bigotry of any type at any time. Never have and never will. If "one" has a problem with that, then simply move on.
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Through accident, I seem to run across these dominant profiles and I find them ahhh, let me be polite and say interesting. What qualifies one for being dominant? I am sure a 20 year old kid living his spring in Jung terms can help me with that.
But what about those others, with their personas? I sometimes find the persona bigger than the message. In fact, more than dominating I see a lot of projecting onto others. I feel sorry for those who cannot see the difference.
In case you need a translation. The dominant went to the store to get steak but came back with ground sirloin and feels duped because he thought sirloin was steak. So he must take it out on anyone near him to make up for his lack of ability to just accept it as a learning mistake. Hence the need for a submissive to project.
Good luck with all that.
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Everything in life comes from certain core needs. I am not talking about food, water, shelter and air, I am talking about our emotional needs. Everything we crave, interpret and fear has a basis to these core necessities. When we look past our human cravings, we find hidden truths that belie our conscious babble. Motivation is often the subconscious fear of loss toward one of our desired emotions. The scariest of scary is that few of us even have defined what it is we truly need. I believe, eerie as it may seem, that much can be revealed in the realms of BDSM but depends highly upon who you choose as your co-conspirator and your own hidden ambitions.
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You know, just a quick observation. I see all these different classifications of how people describe themselves. A Submissive Alpha, a bottom Alpha etc. what the heck!! It seems to me like an ordering line at Starbucks. We strive to be so different but try so hard to find a label that fits us. Isn't it a good thing to be so unique that labels are not possible? Isn't it enough to just say I am me and to live it out as it happens. To define yourself can be philosophical suicide to your own psyche. Additionally, who I am with and the enviroment plays a huge role in all this too. Here is a label that works for everyone, it is called; "ME". Could you imagine if some of these unimaginatives had to go off of just that? Maybe they would actually start expressing true unique feelings that set them apart legitimately and uniquely. So there you have it, I am "ME"! Anything more than that could be considered pidgeon holing and an opportunity wasted.
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As I was
looking at some sites of others yesterday I came across a few dominant sites
that somewhat threw me back. One in particular talks exclusively about what the
role of a slave is and what is expected without offering any glimpse of who
this self proclaimed master is. Just many expectations and little in the
offering pot. So, what does this tell me? First, I am inclined to believe that
if someone cannot talk about themselves, they must have some type of complex,
such as inferiority. Many "expectations", tells me that this person
is looking for something that does not exist in others. The only place it can
be found is from within. So he could possibly go through his days searching,
meeting women, eventually finding he still feels his emptiness and then
searching again. In the meantime, many get hurt, confused or frustrated. It
seems too often that many do not really consider what they really are looking
for. I will be frank in that I do not need any special environment or hierarchy
to feel ok. It is nice to be within many of the structures of this lifestyle
but if it went away tomorrow, I would still be ok. What I need, I can get from
my own source and anything else is icing. Dominance to me at this stage in my
life means I am willing to take responsibility and I have my own source of
esteem and I am assertive. I am a path maker and not a follower. However, at
times I do follow and do so with vigor and assistance, pulling from my own pot
of esteem and source, being a team player and looking to the results at hand
and not my position. I demand nothing and try to live by example. I accept my
imperfections and discuss them outwardly without fear or shame. Too many here
seem to live a life of appearance rather than authenticity and what is really a
shame is they cannot see it and would think, "uh uh not me, he cannot be
talking about me, I am not like that". The fear and shame is so strong
that "one" cannot even accurately see into their own self. I know a
little secret that I would like to share. It is stated by all the prophets, seers
and philosophers of our past and present. It is a given and something that no
matter how hard we try, we cannot change it. STRENGTH COMES FROM WITHIN! No
exceptions. If you are not empowered then start your motor because it is
spiritually impossible to get a pick-up from another in this aspect or regard. If
you feel empty then “step one” is to face it honestly and then find someone who
helps you in this regard and understands you but more important, be willing to
adapt and create from this source and growth will resume. This is what Mastery is all about; to uplift,
mentor and assist. To exude patience and understanding, to face the unfaceable
and cheer when the score is lopsided, knowing and believing in the outcome.
Lastly, what irks my boxer shorts is
that many here ask for honesty and say they can only find honesty within this
hierarchy. Who the ___ are we kidding? Honesty starts with one’s own self, to
call out the dark demons and face the unpleasant. To offer little and demand
much is from a position of fear and dishonesty and an aversion from the murky,
unpleasantries of ones own self. To offer too much and demand too little is a sign
of the same. Compatibility and growth start with self honesty and acceptance.
If you are a potato then accept it and face what being a potato is all about,
do not pretend to be an orange for the sake of denial. Denial keeps us from
growing and life becomes stagnant. I read so often on profiles that the vanilla
world cannot bring honesty and compares little to this lifestyle, what a croc
of denial. No lifestyle or world will bring growth and strength until one can
face their own self. Mock it, redefine it, cloak it or dazzle it, but the truth
remains the same. Love, relationship or partnership cannot be strong without
honesty of one’s own self. Expect all you want, demand all you please, this simple truth is not going to go away.
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The Dalai Lama was here in Seattle this weekend and the underlying theme was to live a life full of compassion. What a concept! A true and beautiful state to come from. As I sometimes peruse through the profiles of others here with curiousity I wonder where, why, how, etc. of their circumstances and enviroments. I see so much pain at times with willingness to just shut off one's own particpation in life as a better way than to overcome it. I see this in many directions and forms. From dominants and submissives equally. My heart bleeds for those who choose to live within such. I am not here to judge or condemn but merely to feel and try and understand. To allow my compassion to fill within and participate in the pain and confusion. We are all human and we are all connected in many ways and when one is in pain, we share it whether we recognize it or not.
We can choose to co-exist in harmony and acknowledgement. To accept and understand with compassion and empathy. On the contrary we can choose the life of predator or prey. Within the later we must realize and sucumb to the heirarchical food chain. As humans we are from a little of both however as compassionate beings we make our choice of which and how much.
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Well,
I have been pretty much away for a year reflecting. I have learned much and most of it is quite simple, I am human. I am a process in motion and I hope that never changes. I am learning to NOT take myself too seriously and accept myself for what and who I am. I acknowledge that dominance comes from as many imperfections as quality traits. I am also learning that being dominant is not an ongoing trudge but an understanding of when and where are the proper moments. To me, constant dominance is a sure sign of low self value toward insignificance. I think it is all about power and one does not need to be sub or dom to be powerful. Power to me is personal energy and an acceptance for who/what one is. Then there is "relationship": the dance of a relationship blends and soars when there is balance and attraction. I think this is where the dominance and submission plays it's part. Where one knows their role but equally knows and expects the role of their mate. I see beauty and synergy in this balance. Completing each other in ways unique in depth and energy. For these reasons, I retain that I am dominant through all of its imperfection and fault, the beauty still glows bright. |
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| Age: 24 |
| Accra/Ghana,
Jamaica |
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