meganxs

Female Submissive, 35, ask, California

Female Dominant, 32, Va. Beach, Virginia

Female Submissive, 20

It's been so long since I wrote in here. Things have been crazy. I just got out of a triad. I'm exploring my sexuality. I'm definitely more into women right now.

I think it's funny that they don't have age play in the bdsm category. I could have sworn they did before and I put it at a hard limit. So much for that!

The Wednesday before Valentine's Day he asked me not to play with other people. Today he asked me to date him officially. I'm happy. I'm not looking for anyone anymore. :)

Why is it so hard to believe that calling a guy "Daddy" is a turn-off for me? Seriously? GAH!

You'd think that Doms would act like Doms on instead of freakin' melodramatic teenage girls. Goodness people!

Long time no visit. Life's been hectic from work and school. I can't focus on finding someone right now.

Healing sucks butt. Okay, the not being healed and all that is what really sucks. I'm to the point of giving up on looking for someone. I need to focus on letting go of him. And if by chance I run across someone at school, my life might just get better...

I realized I am not as healed as I thought. It's not an easy process. I have immersed myself in Second Life to help. I don't want to lead anyone on. It will take me a lot longer to heal than I expected. I can't wait for the fall semester to start...

Oh, what a wonderful Master I had... But we lacked a spark and so it ended... I am still healing, but I am still up for talking with people. I cleaned out my inbox so as to start over. I decided that I should get a discrete way to tell the right people what I'm into without changing much in my appearance. I have decided on a necklace or bracelet made with black leather and having the BDSM emblem on it by a charm or imprint. See, there are people who wear the hard-core-looking leather but aren't really into the lifestyle, so something that big wouldn't really give a whole lot of information. This way, people who are serious about it will see that I am too and those that aren't will be less likely to know.

Ah, how life can change. One minute I'm dealing with a boyfriend who has another girlfriend (polyamory really isn't my thing...), next minute I'm single, and next thing you know I'm taken again. And this guy will pull my hair because he wants to, not just because I like it. His ex told me he wouldn't be hard-core enough for me. Yeah, I think she's just sad that she's missing out...

Funny thing... apparently licking whipped cream off of a straw is incredibly suggestive... now, that wasn't my original intention. it was the boys who pointed it out. hehe... he stole my cup and decided i don't get whipped cream on my french sodas anymore... we shall see about that! ... i love being a woman ...

Apparently, a dress is a powerful thing. That's right, even as a sub, I still like to feel a little powerful. But it's a kind of twisted power. Because I like to know that I have the power to make him want to tie me up the way he did.... Let me tell you, that was a really good day...

I have been blessed in soo many ways. I have found someone that makes me feel incredibly sexy. I never thought I'd enjoy soft pleasure again; he taught me that I had never really experienced it. Life is sheer bliss...

You ever have one of those moments where you get so pissed off at a Dom that you just feel like being a defiant little shit to anyone who tries to order you around? That is me right now. I don't really want to play "good little subbie". I'd rather just be a painslut and leave it at that. Screw the bastards who decide to order me around right now. I'll choose who can order me around, thank you very much. The End.

I watched "The Secretary". Actually, I bought it so I could finish it (stupid illegal chinese websites...). It's funny 'cause the cashier said that I look kinda like Maggie and I just read my messages and someone else told me the same thing. And what makes it more funny is the fact that I relate to Lee on so many levels it's frightening. After watching the movie I have made it my goal to please him as much as possible. I will try to stop acting defiant when we're around other people. I will try to be perfectly obedient. Because maybe if I'm a really good girl he'll give me a chance at something more than a toy...

he said i am "a toy strictly for [his] entertainment". i figured as much...

He says he chose me. I don't know why. What do I have that he would choose me? And what does that make our relationship? What about her? Honestly, it's a mess and I want an explanation. Stupid boys...

People confuse me. Especially when they tease and leave... I want to play...

So after my break-up I had been depressed. ...and deprived... Anyways... Things have changed. I found someone. He noticed something in me. Pulled my hair, noticed my expression, and things continued from there... Nothing else needs to be said....

He spanked me today. I had been craving it, too, so he totally read my mind. I had been reading "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty" and it had my mind totally up in knots. And of course I was craving to have someone do those things to me. However, I was afraid to ask him. I didn't ask him, either. He read my mind. We were kissing or something and all of a sudden he pulls his hand away and spanks me on the ass cheek. I gasped. He laughed. He kept spanking me, and he'd laugh. I said, "if I didn't know any better, I'd think you liked this." He was like, "no, but you like it." Oh man, I love this guy... :)

So much has changed. I have a boyfriend, and he's vanilla. It's weird, really. He's not really into the whole bdsm stuff, but he'll still bite and pinch and poke me because he knows I like it. I feel bad because I don't want him to do anything he doesn't like. But then, I hate knowing he'll never fulfill my deepest fantasies, too. I think the hardest part is that one of his exes taught him to pleasure women, but as a sub, I want to give him pleasure. He and I need to have a sit-down about this because otherwise it's going to create quite a frustration. Let me say something else, though. Even though he isn't into bdsm, he doesn't look down on my interest. That is a good thing, because it's not going to just disappear from me.

Hehe. Goodness.... So quite a bit has happened. I forgot to mention the Friday morning before our date. That morning was pretty awesome. I discovered how much I love pain. I was sore at work that day and I loved it! Today, I went to his place again and it was pretty dang awesome. Less D/s, but still had firsts. Three, in fact (that I can think of right now). It was an AMAZING morning. I think I'll continue to think of it for quite a while.... :)

Some people are better as Doms than dates. Some people (ex: me) have terrible luck with dates. Let's leave it at that for now.

Oh man... I found someone. And it's awesome. Last night was great. I did so many new things. And it was incredibly exciting. I had to sit in a coffee shop for a while so I could get my brain focused enough for me to drive home. One word: amazing. Also, I am looking forward to more. ;)

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