MasterShibari

                                                                                    
Good luck to you all, best wishes on your journey.

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In the last two years my sexuality, this small yet significant aspect of my existence, has undergone more metamorphosis then I ever imagined. I have walked paths that I could not even have dreamed of several years ago. But nothing, nothing could have prepared me for this.

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During this time, I have loved and sceened with many amazing women. However, with one powerful exception this past New Years, these exchanges of sexuality and power have been founded on deep friendship and companionship. Within the bonds of friendship, I have experimented, I have played, and I have grown.

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But nothing could have prepared me for her. Yes, at long, last I have found what I have been searching for; I have found love in the form of a stunningly beautiful and extraordinarily intelligent submissive. After a suitable trial and training period I have bound and collared her as my submissive, my slave, and my love.

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Words cannot describe how much I missed this feeling, and how good it is to experience it again, if only for a moment. And yes, it saddens us both to know that in ten months time I will be leaving the country for two long years, and thusly the current incarnation of this relationship already has an expiration date. But we both knew that when this began, and it changed nothing. We took the plunge anyways, and we fell in love, evening knowing that in less then a year it has to end.

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My life is in many ways a contradiction.

I am a flirt, a massive flirt, and a casual flirt.  I flirt with my friends (both genders), and with the many girls I meet on the boardwalk, in cafés, in bookstores, college parties, nightclubs, on campus, on the beach, at the pool, in the gym, at the museum, and especially at the library.   However, just because I am flirting doesn?t mean I am interested in the person.  I flirt because I like to flirt, not because I?m throwing my nets wide.  While I flirt constantly, I am extremely picky about who I am with.  Unlike most men my age, I have worked to keep my number low, something I am intensely proud of.

That said, I don?t believe in leading people on.  I believe in complete honesty in all things that I do.  If I am interested in someone, I will tell her so, clearly and directly.  If not, I will also make that clear.  Those of you who know my forum posts know I like to leave examples, so here is my most recent one.  On the night of the summer solstice I attended a Wiccan bonfire.  At one point, I was on my own, running through the waves and the surf.  Standing up to her waist in the water, I saw a girl who I had met at a party few weeks before.  We had bonded over a number of shared interests (and kinks) and had quickly become friends. 

She was standing there in surf, the moonlight reflecting off of the water, glistening off the gentle curves of her form.  I ran up to her, without hesitation, through the crash of the surf and, wrapping one hand around her waist, firmly placed the other on her pale throat and drew her lips up into a kiss.  Then, slipping my hand to the back of her head and firmly grasping her hair, I drew her head back and sunk my teeth into her exposed throat.

I think that made my intentions pretty clear, no?  -grins-  We?ve been playing regularly for about two weeks now and it has been incredible.

Best wishes to you on your journey, wherever it leads.

Why my life is good:

Papers?  Finished.  Finals?  Two down, one to go.  Motorcycle? Running beautifully!

Spent the whole morning riding around town, damn it feels good!  I didn?t realize how much I?d missed it until I revved the engine that first time and felt it roar as I accelerated out of the mechanics shop.  The wind, the rumble of the engine, the feeling of the road under your wheels, not just riding like in a car, but really and truly being there, in the moment?. It?s almost as good as sex. 

Now that?? was a good way to spend a weekend!

It reminded me of many ways of my transition away from just being a Service Top.  For many years, my key fantasy revolved around learning how to play a woman?s body like a finely tuned instrument, learning her deepest and darkest fantasy and driving her stark raving mad with sweeping waves of pleasure.  I took pleasure by overwhelming my partners with lust so completely that the only thing they could think of was doing was submitting absolutely to my will.

-grins-  Not saying I could do that instantly, that should set of anyone?s bullshit alarm.  It took time and attention to learn how to really Top.  It goes without saying that every woman is different, that their body responds in a different way, and that no two women have the same fantasy.  However, with time and lots of communication, I could learn how to satisfy a Bottom to the point where the only thing she could think of was giving me pleasure, to indulge me in my fantasies like I had indulged her in hers.

Of course, when I played for the first time with a girl who saw herself as a pleasure slave, this created a problem.  That place I enjoyed bringing my partners too so much, the place where they are so satisfied that their only concern was submitting to my will?  She was already there, she wanted nothing but to give me pleasure, and I was confused.  ?laughs-  Luckily, with advice from those with far more experience, and many fantastic nights of experimentation, I learned how to let the Service Top side of me go and truly allow my Dominant nature to emerge.

So now, after a weekend filled with pleasure, pain, ropes, crops, collars, and power exchange?. A weekend filled with transitions from Service Top to Dom, wordlessly, many times (yeah yeah, it was supposed to just be me Domming but we cheated, so there!), I want to give a word of thanks to those who helped me to develop.  Helped me with many sage words of advice, or many wonderful evenings filled with sensation, Domination, and submission.

Hope your weekend was wonderful as well,
M.Shibari

Oh yeah, and I indulged in a brand new crop.  It is truly gorgeous, and the sound it makes as it strikes bound flesh is mind blowing!

It is only Tuesday and I can all ready feel the anticipation building.  This weekend, an old submissive and an even older friend and mine is coming into town.  She has been away for many many months, but when she heard she had missed my birthday she ordered bus tickets right away.

So, it?s belated, but she?s decided to give me a wonderful gift:  Her, collared, bound, and totally at my mercy, for the entire weekend.  ?wolfish grin-  It should be quite an experience.  Both she and I are quite comfortable with TPE with each other, but she is a feisty spirit when she is not submitting (and even when she is) and we have never tried to do such an extended scene before.

Edit:  I don't think my chat requests work so sending them to me does nothing. 
 

So I spent the whole morning at work, my whole afternoon at school, and my whole night working on my motorcycle; and sadly, my poor baby still won?t start.  -frustrated growl-  So, now I know it?s not the carburetor, it?s not the battery, and it?s not the fuel lines.  Tomorrow, I work on the electrical systems.  Let?s hope it?s something as simple as a spark plug, otherwise it?s Jim?s Motorcycle Repair for me, my skills as a mechanic only go so far.

I know some people use sex or kink to calm down.  I?ve read journals here of Dom?s who have a bad day at work or school, and eagerly drive home to take it out on their submissives.  I don?t get that.  BDSM, isn?t about dealing with stress for me, it?s about the thrill, and I don?t like the idea of sceening while angry or pissed off.  As a full contact fighter, I don?t spar when I?m angry because whoever I am fighting doesn?t deserve to be an outlet for my frustration, the same is true for the girls I am with as well.

I hope so.

It puts everything into perspective, getting to taste all these things.  These wonderful people I?ve met, these wonderful girls who have been mine, have allowed me to advance my skills as a Dominant to a point I never really thought of.  Yet even as I grow, I truly realize how much there is yet to learn, new territory and techniques to learn from people far more experienced than myself (I mean, lets face facts here, -grins- I?m only 21).

So to everyone who has been a part of this small yet significant aspect of my existence, thank you, thank you for helping me to grow into a better, stronger, more ambitious, and (hopefully) wiser person.

I sometimes wonder why I?m here.

If I?m home, then the computer is on and I?m logged into CM.  However, I don?t scan profiles, don?t send messages to new people (except for once or twice when some pretty thing?s smile was just too gorgeous for me not leave her a compliment), and I don?t surf the forums.  Pretty much the only thing I do here is reply to people who have messaged me and post the occasional psychological question on the forums.

I?ve met some pretty interesting people here, which is just about the highest form of compliment I can give, and I?ve enjoyed reading people?s responses to my occasional forum posts, but in general I?m very inactive.  I suppose if I wasn?t in college I might be more active here, its not exactly hard to find intelligent, strong, interesting, beautiful, and even kink friendly girls when your at a UC school.  But even if I wasn?t so active elsewhere, I don?t know if I?d spend too much time here.

Just a random observation, hope your week is going as well as mine.

Time to move on.

This year has been a year filled with change, and the last three months have been the most tumultuous of my life.  Change is inevitable, yes, but the difficult part is making sure that that change is positive, that you are continually improving yourself.

Having a play partner with no commitments attached was a big change for me, a new path that I had never trekked before.  It was good, it was fun, it was even passionate, but it is time for it to end.  I knew from the beginning that we would never end up with each other, and there was a reason for that. 

She will always have a piece of my heart, and I hope to always be her friend, but it?s time?. for both of us?. it?s time?

Well, its safe to say things are going well?

In an old companion, I have found a stunningly beautiful and amazingly giving submissive, creating an incredible new dynamic to our friendship.  To find someone who, while you know will never be more than a friend, you can share the same level of trust and openness as if they were a partner who you loved with your whole heart (As well as do some absolutely mind blowingly hot scenes), is simply?. wonderful.

On top of that, I have moved into a new house which gives me more space, more privacy, and has a pool for me to use.  I love it.

Finally, practically every friend I have ever kept from my past has been in the Bay Area the last few weeks, and I?ve been able to see almost all of them.

So if you are wondering where I have been and why I haven?t been around to chat, that?s your answer. 

Hope life?s working out on your end as well.