masternemesis

Alone for many years
Assumed that was my life.
Only me with my thoughts and tears
Forever dealing with internal strife.
 
Then one day, a blast from the past
Started off a simple friendship.
Turned to love better than my last
Thoughts of a solo future began to flip.
 
One to love, one to protect
one to be mine and make a new start.
But then in an instant I was wrecked
Pain returned andriped out my heart.
 
Trust that was built now gone
After thoughts she'd be the one.
Does he now try to push on
Even after to another she did run.
 
What does he do now
When still he loves her so.
Choices he must make, but how
Not knowing which path she will go
 
The path alone he may return
This pain inside to forever burn...

I've come to realize that through My years, and Being mentored as a Dominant, that I have tried to find a stable balance to be capable of being both a boyfrind (in vanilla) and Dominant (in D/s) together. However, frankly I have had a better time, and more experience being a Dom, and as well and a trainer and Mentor to others. I have thought on this alot recently and have come to the conclusion that the vanilla relationship, the boyfriend thing, just isnt for Me. I will be putting that part of Me in a corner of My mind, behind a closed to, tonight he retires and the Dominant that I was taught to be will step up and become. The Sadist I was ment to be *evil grin*

Unfortunetly I didn?t have the opportunity to get to know her as well as I would have liked, but she was still a good friend. She always had a bright smile on her face, and a cheerful personality that could cheer up anyone having a bad day, for any reason, and she did. She always had an ear open to listen to anyone who needed to talk, and even turned to Me once when she was having a bad day. The chance to repay that was a good day for Me and that sealed our friendship all through highschool. To loose someone who did a great deal for so many is a truly terrible thing, she was too young to pass away, to young to have lived a full and happy life, My hopes that she enjoy what time she did have before she was taken from all that her and cared for her. I wish I had more time to get to know you Bev, you will be missed greatly.

Beverly J. Gorrell  8/7/1988-10/26/2007

Long ago I found a creature of such beauty,

Her presence soothing, her voice softer

Forever concerned for her future and safety,

A concern that troubles Me no longer

My love grew for her, to never say good bye

This elegant beauty had captured My heart

When unfortunately I realized it was not I

Not I to be her future, I was torn apart

Torn was I, black again my heart did grow

Till one evening, a most beautiful night

My worries of her future away did flow

By my true love for here realized in moonlight

For this night I realized a simple little thought

This beauty I speak of, her future her to fulfill

She had learned all I could have taught

This beauty was indeed happy now

And this in the end, was this was all I sought

I love her now, and always forever I will

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her long hair blows in the wind
A beautiful majesty I see before Me
Her bright eyes guide My dark future
As also to revel herself to Me
An aura of beauty surrounds her
And only The Good of life shall she find
Her kind and gentle heart that beats within
I shall make her free of the pains of this world
My love for her is ever growing
So does My concern for her being
To see her hurt is a dagger through Me
To know The truth, I shall live alone
Is too a great pain I try to fight daily
Maybe I just dont know what, of anything
I just dont know what to do anymore
Maybe I should accpet My true destiny
To live, and To Die alone, My curse