masterditty

I've been thinking a lot lately about what i want, what my goals are, and where i want to be. After being single the last couple months, I've been able to try a few different things  to see if they fit me. Some did, some didn't. I have met a bunch of great new people and enjoyed playing with those i played with.

Overall, though i found myself lacking what i truly seek. I think the scene is great but since i'm not really an exhibitionist, parties and dungeons don't thrill me.  I like seeing new things and learning new techniques but when i play, i like to include sex and i'm not comfortable doing so in public. That's not saying i still won't go to parties etc. Just that i will probably go back to my once maybe twice a month routine, instead of once or twice a week. I've really enjoyed going to munches,  granted i need to get to one out here now that i've moved.

But what is it that i truly seek? I'm not sure what i seek is really covered under the traditional meanings of Master/slave or even Dom/sub. I have seen it once or twice in relationships of people i've met. I think i can define it as a head of household type of tpe. add in a little "taken in hand" and some bdsm, then we're getting close. I want something where my woman can shine but still looks to me to lead her and our relationship. I don't want something that is so full of rules and rituals that it is restrictive. I want something that ebbs and flows but with a set hierarchy. I don't want to have to punish my woman often. Punishments are no fun for either the sub nor the Dom if done right. I would rather do scenes cause we enjoy what we are doing. I want a woman who wants to submit to me. I want to worthy of her submission. I want her to want to wear my collar, to ask for it because she knows what the symbolism means to me and wants that for herself.

I am not perfect. I have my flaws. I believe in living life and not being a slave to it. In this way i have a gypsy or hippie soul. I'm proud of the things i've accomplished. The things i've made and built. Making a ton of money would be nice but is not a necessity to me. Being happy and with someone i love is...

ok so this is the list of things that I would love for my woman to be,

She would be someone who -

• finds joy in making me happy. It fulfils a need of hers. she is eager to serve and please and values my praise and approval above all else. I detest punishing anyone so I want someone who gets upset with themselves in a healthy way for letting me down.
• is goal oriented but at the same time, willing to shake things up and try new things. She has a career and is not dependent on me but still depends on me.
• submissive to me and is willing to trust my leadership of our relationship and lives.
• is willing to put me first in all ways and things. What about with children you ask? I expect my woman to care for my children as she would care for me. No more or no less. In other words I would not want her to neglect them for me nor would i want her to neglect me for them. I feel that too often women put their babies in front of their men and the relationships suffer and die. Babies are important and need us but they grow up and if we neglect our partner for them to the point of resentment and the relationship dies how is that good for the child(ren)?
• is my biggest supporter as I am hers.
• has hobbies and friends other than mine.
• wants to have sex 2- 3 times a week. And will blow me another couple times a week. I would really prefer her to be my sex slave and open for business whenever i wanted. and this here would be a guideline of what that would be.
• likes a little pain but is not a pain slut. to me bdsm is part of a sex act. it is a tool to get to intense orgasms. it is not a destination. In other words i don’t do scenes just to inflict pain. I do them to inflict orgasms.
• will try to not let others disrespect me. will take offence when others do even if they are her family.

Man’s relationship with women. Or more importantly, My relationships with women.

I find myself having views and wants that are both feminist and traditional in nature. I believe in equal pay for equal work. And I’m glad that my daughter can become anything that her heart desires when she grows up. But in romantic relationships I believe the male is the leader and that the female is symbiotic. I think Dreambound says it better than i do when she wrote - “I believe that nature intended Man and woman to live in a symbiotic relationship where the woman is dependent on the Man and, in return, benefits the Man by providing emotional support and insight. In this manner, the Man and the woman can together have the potential to achieve more and have a better chance to reproduce and care for the offspring.”

I think it was Napoleon Hill who said in the book “Think and grow rich” - “Behind every great man there is a great woman”. To me that speaks volumes. It shows how important the relationship between man and women can be. It also says to me that the woman is behind him. Supporting him however she can. Unfortunately, I have found in most “vanilla” relationships that women want to be equal partners not behind anyone. I also find them to be unhappy when they get in relationships with alpha/dominant men. Especially when they find the men  won’t bend that way either.

I’ve spent years trying to articulate this while searching for this for my life. This search and my kinky nature have lead me to the scene. Being in the scene i’ve come to realize that just because a woman is a submissive does not mean they are submissive in a relationship. I’ve come to realize the relationship style i want is more along the D/s - M/s lines. However I want a woman eager to do anything to please me, but not at all in a 'tie her up, whip her and abuse her' sort of way. Not that i don’t like doing that because i do. But that is not how i want the relationship to be based. I want someone eager and willing to do anything for me if I asked because they trust me to do what I thought was best for the two of us. This means if i think it’s best she works then she works. If i want her to blow my best friend then she blows my best friend. She does what is needed to make me happy and is happy to do it.

Is this person out there? Maybe not but I hope so...

Now, One thing i want to make clear, This is how i want my relationships to be. I don’t care if you are a female Dom who loves to punish boys or girls. I say if you can find someone who wants to be punished consensually then have fun. I also don’t care if you're gay and want to get married. If it makes you happy and you love your partner then who am I to say it is wrong. Jesus somewhere in the bible before he died, gave 2 commandments. Love God above all others and to love each other as we do god. I think it’s funny how many religions forget that. (sorry for the sermon)

Sub vs slave

 I think of a slave as owned property to be used by her owner as he would his car. As Owned property she does what her master wants or is forced to for he holds the power of life and death over her. I think of this as a bit extreme and want no part of it. I want to be in control but not to that extent.

To me a sub is one who is only submissive in a scene (or in the bedroom). These people want to be treated as equals in their relationships. Switches and bottoms fall in this category for me as well.

This leaves a lot of middle ground that i'll call a sub-slave. A sub-slave is one who wants to be submissive all the time (or is) but not controlled to the extreme of having to ask to pee. She holds a job, has dreams, goals, and desires but treats her Dominant like a 50's housewife. He is in charge.

This is the type of dynamic that excites me, but let me tell you. I think there are a lot of responsibilities for a dominant in this dynamic. In one of the stories i've been reading, the father taught his son that he needed to "love her, protect her, teach her". I think that is a good start to the responsibilities i speak of.

I wonder why all these dommes are looking at My profile. Mistresses, I respect you as a top but I'll never be your bottom. Sorry.

I promise i will never ask you to spank me.