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Female Switch, 22, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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Female Submissive, 19
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Female Dominant, 45, florida
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About mariposa1960
Little Butterfly learning to spread her wings once again. After 22 yrs of marriage I find myself single, I've been in the lifestyle awhile now. At one point I thought I wanted someone in my life but have discovered the grass is not always greener on the other side. I have been collared to Master over 8 years now and am happy in that decision. The road has been rough at times but thru it all we have survived when everyone else said we would fail. I've discovered over the past several of years quite a few interesting things about myself. I can be independant and still be submissive. I tend to be very outspoken but in a respectful manner. If you are looking for someone that will roll over and be your door matt that's not me. I have a mind of my own and can use it very well. I used to dream of wanting a 24/7 relationship and after all these years of searching I have come to realize it's not going to happen. Certain people can live this lifestyle 24/7 but I realize I'm not one of them. I am very independent.
I'm a workaholic. I ride motorcycles with my friends. Most who would never understand me calling someone Master. If I have one good quality or fault as some would say I'm very loyal to those that come into my life. Once you're in my life it's hard to get rid of me. LOL but once your out there's no getting back in.
I have children and although they are grown, they are the most important thing in my life.
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Has it really been 3 yrs since I was here. I guess so. Not much has changed in my life other than I'm a little older and a little wiser. It's a new year let's see what it brings |
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Wow has it really been that long since I've been here to write. Another year in the books for me. It's definitely been a year of growth and learning for me. Some of it has not been to my liking but that's life. I look forward to the New Year and what it brings. Wishing all my friends a Merry Christmas and a Safe and Happy New Year |
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Spent the day on the motorcycle today and it felt so good. I forgot what it was like to feel the wind in my hair and the sun on my face. I plan on getting reaquainted with my bike alot now that the weather is starting to warm up. Life is good |
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Hello World :) it's been over a month since I wrote on here. Another chapter in my life is coming to a close. I gave my two weeks notice at the nursing home this week. After a year of working there it's time for me to move on and get back out into the lime light. I've missed being in a position where I see and talk to people. I've accepted a position as an Operations Asst. I'm excited to be back in charge again. This past year has given me the time to recooperate from the surgeries over the past 4 yrs. I feel great and rested and ready to jump back into it. The weather has been great and tomorrow I plan on getting on the bike tomorrow and taking some time to myself. |
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Well we are half way thru the month and it's been interesting. Work is still the same although I think they have been awefully nice to me the last couple of days which makes me wonder what they want now. LOL Have to see an oral surgeon weds thanks to my dentist not listening to me and pulling the tooth out when i wanted to. The nerve was exposed and I got an infection that was causing me extreme pain. New dentist gave me antibiotics and referred me to the surgeon to remove the tooth. Hopefully this will be an easy proceedure. Counting down the days until spring so I can start riding again. Things are really starting to look up for me. I've started writing again as an outlet for my emotions and feelings and it's been helping. |
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 Happy New Year To World. Yes I know I'm a couple days late but better late than never. It's a new year just waiting for me to explore. New adventures to take memories to make and friends to meet. The slate is clean and it's time to start writing. Only resolution I made this year was to cook at home more often and eat better. I think I can manage that one. :) I'm looking forward to the sun shining on my face the wind in my hair and the company of my good friends.
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Woke up this morning feeling so very empty. I guess I've been thinking a great deal about my birthday next week. I'll be 50 and my life is not at all what I thought it would be. I thought when I got married it would be for ever. We made plans to grow old together when you retired we were going to ride cross country on the bikes and just roam around for a while before picking a place to settle and call home. We were going to watch out kids grow up and be surrounded by grandkids to spoil and play with. Yet here I am alone, the only grandson I have I haven't been allowed to see in over 3 yrs. My husband is now someone elses husband and he seems to be so very happy. I can't help but wonder what I did wrong. I know that people make choices but these weren't my choices. How do I stop this pain I feel deep in my soul at being alone. Today I can't seem to stop the tears from falling. |
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Well today is a new beginning again for me. Surgery went well yesterday. The docs tell me everything is back to normal. The drain tube is out and I'm on the mend again. Now the test will be to see if the proceedure works this time since it didn't 2 yrs ago. I've discovered over the last 4 months just how precious life is. I know that my time here is limited and that the mass could very well come back again at any time. I feel I've been given this second change to live life to the fullest. I was always so consumed with my job before I never thought about myself or my family. SO i'm taking time now to smell those proverbial roses. Planted me a small little garden and actually taking the time to take care of. Most of all I can't wait to get back on the motorcycle and ride. Thru all of this I couldn't have made it if it hadn't been for Master. He's been there every step of the way. HE's held my hand when i've been in physical pain. Listened when i've complained and held me when i hurt the most emotionally. We've been together a little over 8 yrs now and thru the ups and downs we have always held onto the faith and trust we have in each other. Thank You Master for coming into my life |
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It's been a few months since I posted anything on here. Lots has happened since then. After 5 yrs with the company I lost my job. First time I've ever been fired talk about a blow. Of course I was upset but they say things happen for a reason. I had been unhappy with work for quite some time. But losing my job right before Christmas really hurt. I guess it was my turn to learn a little humility. I've never been one to ask anyone for help and this was very hard for me to do. Two days after Christmas I ended up in the hospital due to liver problems. What a way to bring in the New Year. I was in surgery New Years Eve and again 5 days later. But things have begun to look up. Two weeks after I got out of the hospital I found my dream job. I'm no longer in management working 24/7. I go in do my job and come home. No more midnight phone calls. I work 9-5 every other weekend off. And yes I get overtime something I've never had before. LOL I feel as though my life is starting over. During all of this my feelings about the lifestyle changed. It brought out my submissive side which had been very dormant for quite some time. Going into a new month we will have to see what the rest of this year has in store for me. |
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I'm on vacation starting tomorrow officially but I was off from work today. I've been thinking about how much my life has changed over the past 10 yrs. Going from being married to divorced, moving from one state to another. LOL going home for 30 yr reunion and seeing old friends, my first husband and old boyfriends. WOW I think leaving was the best thing I could have done. Those that stayed behind looked like they had aged so much. Seeing my parents and then loosing mom in feb. That has been really hard for me. Not having any family around me sometimes makes my life very lonely. Dad turned 77 today and I have been thinking alot about him as well. Worry that something will happen to him and I won't be there. I haven't had any luck finding anyone compatible and think maybe I had my once in a lifetime love. Maybe going home to help dad out on the farm would give me some time to get myself together and make some new choices. Anyways' i'm just rambling here. We'll see what tomorrow brings
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I've been catching up on emails from the last several days and it never ceases to amaze me how many I get that just make me laugh and wonder who would respond to such things. I stated it in my profile and I will state it again I am not a door mat for you to wipe your feet on when you walk into my life. I am very independant and self suffient I work hard and like to play hard when I have a chance. Don't message me with stupid stuff like "on your knees" |
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Tortured
I wanted to be wanted
My solitary plea
I thought I had something to give
but no one wanted me
God, I?m deserted
Abandoned and alone
Your plan for me is torture
My future so unknown
I?d love to be loved just one day
To feel alive and free
I?d suffer all you have in store
If only this could be
The loneliness upon my soul
Cuts to the very core
My heart is crying silently
And I can?t take much more. |
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