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Male Submissive, 45, indianapolis, Indiana
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Female Submissive, 27, DeKalb, IL, Illinois
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Female Submissive, 19
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About lostlilgal
For those looking, read the journals to.
I'm so very truly tiered of wanna be doms who claim to be one thing and turn out to be another.
~SIGH~
I am happy to speak with any and all that message me, but please don't message me with "get on your knees slut" or some other rude but similar comment...
just because you are a "Dom" doesn't make you
~MY~
Dom
I have 2 children, deal with it
don't like it?
don't message me
I am willing to answer any questions you may ask
~within reason~
I do have pics to share
but for personal reasons i
~WILL NOT~
post them on my profile
yes I do smoke though I am working on quitting, but rarely and i mean RARELY do i EVER drink.
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Reba always knows just what to say.
Every time I turn the conversation To something deeper than the weather I can feel you always shuttin' down And when I need an explanation for the silence You just tell me you don't wanna talk about it now
What you're not saying is coming in loud and clear We're at a crossroads here
If I'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose If I'm not that arrow to the heart of you If you don't get drunk on my kiss If you think you can do better than this Then I guess, we're done, let's not drag this on Consider me gone
With you I've always been wide open Like a window or an ocean There is nothing I've ever tried to hide So when you leave me not knowin' where you're goin' I start thinkin' that we're lookin', we're lookin' at goodbye
How about a strong shot of honesty?
Don't you owe that to me?
If I'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose If I'm not that arrow to the heart of you If you don't get drunk on my kiss If you think you can do better than this Then I guess, we're done, let's not drag this on Consider me gone
Consider me a memory, consider me the past Consider me a smile in an old photograph Someone who used to make you laugh
If I'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose If I'm not that arrow to the heart of you Then I guess, we're done, let's not drag this on Consider me gone, consider me gone Consider me gone, just consider me gone
she may always know what to say, but if she's right, then whys it so hard?
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another lost mumbling,
alot of people asked if i am upset that he's cheating on me.... no not really. honestly I couldn't care less if he has 50 other subs, as long as he makes time for me and the kids i'm happy. truly I am. what makes me mad is that he is lieing to me about it.
if he'll lie to me about this, and about his divorce, what else will he lie about, and if i can't trust him to tell me the truth then how can i trust him in other aspects....
lets face it, I am a pain slut, I let him put me in the most vulnerable positions possible, I let him, beg him, to hurt me in 100 different ways, and for that I must be able to trust him..
and now i can't .... i tried ... i really have tried... i have even given him dozens of chances to come clean, to tell me the truth, he completely refuses to do so. but i know for fact it's lies.
i can deal with cheating but trust, lies, betrayal... they will all break a lifestyle relationship faster then anything else in the world.
hurting
lost again...
feeling cast out at sea without so much as a lifeline.
just lost. |
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stressed beyond reason, ready to find a corner to curl up in and cry. |
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ok, another lost rant
How is it, that someone could make such a HUGE mistake?! OMG the worst thing in the world just happen to me!!!
Someone, I don't know who, if I did I would have to kick them... forgot to make sure my coffeepot was bottomless!!! GRRR
My pot went dry *cries*
ah well, it only takes 10 minutes to brew a fresh one..
wait... 10 min without coffee?!
OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!
ok, yes, I have issues...
Hello, my name is Lost and I am a coffee addict... can someone help me?! no? great then wheres the coffee pot!!!!!
yes I am in a very strange mood this morning. |
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ok another lost rant...
somehow I get the feeling that I am going to be changing my limit list soon to add in uncertainty. I hate and I mean absolutely HATE not knowing where I stand. I hate not knowing where things are going, whats going to happen... I mean yeah short term in a play session fine... as a planned event fine... but not in a relationship, not in life, not in the important things.
is it really asking to much for a girl to want... to need to know where her place is? to want to know that things are alright ? that she is still loved, wanted, needed, ect? is it really that much to ask no matter weather someone be male female sub dom slave switch domme... shouldn't it be realistic for them to want to know?!
The position i am in now scares the hell out of me. I have no idea what I am going to do... weather or not he actually still cares or if I am getting comforting lies, I don't know weather or not he wants me, weather he still needs me in his life. I don't know if he still loves me, I don't know if i'll be here or somewhere else tomorrow, next week, next month... i hate it! I absolutely detest how he is making me feel the situation that he has put me in...
isn't it a Doms job to take care of his sub mentally physically emotionally...
as a sub you have to trust your dom, 100% but how the hell do you trust someone whos putting you into this kind of position? one who makes you feel unsafe and uncertain?
life doesn't make sense anymore, i love the man with all my heart but right now I want nothing more then to shoot him. |
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Alright, for the first time in a very long time, it's time for another lost rant.
So, I left here 2 years and some change ago... I thought I had found THE ONE. god I couldn't possibly love him more... or be more hurt.
back in june of 2010 he decided to be an OTR truck driver... great, no prob... about 6 months ago he started pulling a little further away. I started to get worried, and question and wonder....
then a week or so ago I get an email from his ex, forwarded to me i should say. it was emails he had sent her, talking about how he missed her, how much he loved her, how he wished he never had and if she gave him another chance he'd never leave her again.
I of course asked him about it. we talked about it, i cried alot, he cried a tad.... it all came down to he was lonely and he wasn't sure why he had done it but he had no intentions of leaving.
he stayed home for 2 weeks, I thought things were getting better. then I get another email, from a different girl, showing me a line sent on the 9th of this month, 24 hours after he left home to go back to work, with him asking her if she'd join him on his truck as his sex slave!
I'm hurt, i'm tiered, i can't sleep, I can't think, i've spent hours just crying. I don't know what to do, i don't know what I am going to do. I am praying... hoping... as stupid as it sounds, that these girls are just stiring the pot. that i am not going to have to leave him or visa versa and break both my and the kids' hearts all over again. he's the only dad my youngest knows and my oldest only recently accepted him...
what the hell do I do now.......
Why is it that someone elses' stupid choices always hurt everyone but them?
lost all over again
lostlilgal
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Alright, time for another Lost rant:
I am sure alot of you Dom's out there will agree with this one, and if you don't I don't care nor do I want to hear about it.
I am tiered of hearing "I have no limits" BULLSHIT everyone has a limit somewhere, there is no such thing as flat out no limits. just because you OWNER and your limits match so you never do somthing, doesn't mean it isn't a limit. a few things people rarely think about when they think of limits...
would you let your owner kill you? just stand there and let him do it? THEN ITS A LIMIT
would you let someone Gut you? THEN ITS A LIMIT
how about somthing a little less extreme, would you let him cut on you and cause perminate scars just for the hell of it? THEN ITS A LIMIT
how about necro? would you fuck a dead body because he said so..... guess what, limit
would you her castrate you? duh.... limit.
listen the list goes on and on, there is no one out there that has no limits, and if their is, they have a death wish.
saying things like that on here, can get you seriously hurt.... because some idiot claiming to be a Dom is eventually going to belive you and take you at your word.
honesty is important, period, weather your in a full out relationship or just play partners. for your safty, physically, mentally and emotionally it is important for your Dom/owner/Master/whatever to know these things about you. do not lie, do not claim no limits, don't do stupid shit that will eventually get you hurt.
btw, to all of you out there claiming to be slaves with a 10' long limit list.......... yeah RIGHT grow up learn the rules and try again. Ihave met 3 true blue slaves in my entire time in the lifestyle and no, no matter what the email you are typing right this second says, i am not going to belive your claim on just your word. a true slave wouldn't even bother. she is to at peace in her own skin to even bother. |
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ok, time for a new rant from the lil gal,
alright, lets get this straight, 1 DON"T SEND ME LETTERS STARTING WITH HOW WONDERFULLY PERFECT YOU THINK WE ARE FOR EACHOTHER WHEN YOU HAVENT EVEN BOTHERED TO LOOK AT MY PROFILE
I DO HAVE KIDS, if you can't deal with kids, why bother sending me a message (other then a nice hello for those of you just looking for friends) why bother trying to hit on me?
if you can't deal with the fact that I have children then we aren't gonna get very far.
also if your going to try to scam me don't bother, I am not that damn stupid, and if you really feel you must try, at least try something original and believable.... i still won't fall for it but hell, its better then the norm
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alright a rant from the lil gal:
come on now. I have it stated in my profile that I don't really wanna recive emails saying stupid things along the lines of "get on your knees girl" or anything at ALL along those lines...... this does NOT mean i do want them, when i say no, unlike some i really do mean NO.
apparently there are those out there that do not understand this concept. so let me make it clear, here are a few new HARD LIMITS that CM doesn't allow you to post on your profile with it's options.
new list:
NO IDIOTS
no rude emails
no wanna be doms
no and i mean NO female Doms (unless you are just looking for a friend and chat buddy, there we will work out nicely)
I AM NOT BI (for those that can't read)
I will NOT submit to a female (This includes men who used to be female and visa versa)
NO I will not castrate you
do NOT call me Mistress. few have earned that right and those who have know who they are.
I am NOT looking to be an online pet, over the phone play mate, or be in a perminately long distance relationship. online is a good starting point but i am not looking for only that nor will i take your online collar.
NO I will not send you money
NO i will not move to your place next week
NO I will not play with you tonight.
ok, this covers a few, i am sure i will think of more later..... what part of SSC do people miss? do I look like such a noobie that people think I will fall for anything?
lets use the brains that the gods (goddess, lord or whoever the hell you do or don't belive in) gave to you!
ok, i'll end my rant here, though there may be more to come if i keep getting rude messages after this one.......
Is it really so hard, to be honest? to be loyal? to communicate with your partner? to treat your sub ( I am NOT a slave and more then likely, you aren't either) with the respect that she/he deserves? humiliation is fun and has it's place, but is it so hard to let your sub know you care? to hold and cuddle them at the end of a long hard session and let them know that they are loved? that they are the prized possession you promised them they would be? I don't think it should be so hard, I don't think it should be so hard to find the one person who will love and care for you always. there will always be those obsticals out there to contend with, issues to work through, no one is perfect, and if thats what you seek...... your in for a long lonely ride...... you get from this life what you put into it. if you work hard enough eventually, what you seek will be within your grasp....
ok, now this really IS the end of my rant,
have a wonderful night everyone
lost
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Alright, for those Dom's out there that I have been chatting with, you all know who you are. some are friends, some are slowly becomming more. but everything is based on friendship. it has been brought to my attention that the last post I made was taken badly, and I have been informed that one dom in particular feels that this would put him "second" in my book. and this is NOT true. first off, when I choose my Master, (and yes like it or not, until that collar is around my throat it's MY CHOICE) I will belong 100% to Him, period. there is no first second or third. I am loyal, trustworthy, protective, adoring, and 100% submissive towards him and him alone. The last post was made for a very dear friend of mine in hopes to cheer him up (You know who you are hunny), He lost his wife AND newborn child in delivery a week ago and has been feeling very badly. like there is no one left in the world that loves him, that the world may as well stop turning. He and myself (with his wifes consent and at times participation) played on several occasions, the man is incredibly sadistic, delightfully funny, and a very cool person to be around. as a friend i love him dearly and he knows it. the point of the post was 1 to let everyone know why there is so little on my profile for 2 to remind him there are people out there that still care. the point was to make him smile, he knew what I ment by the post and if it has in some way offended others, then I'm very sorry. I rarely say anything that i do not mean, i am very direct. so when i say that if i could have him i would, i mean it, but not as an owner, ever, i could not handle that kind of sadism on an every day level, after each play session i was out of commission for at least 2 weeks. (not this is NOT the level of pain i desire, want, or need at all times but it is fun once in a while esspecially when the world seems to be going BOOM) I couldn't handle that on a daily basis nor would i want to try. I will never let him go as a friend. it was very late when i made the post and i have read it several times, I understand it as i wrote it but several others that i have asked to read it over the last 20 min read somthing different into it. so here is my very long winded, slightly irritated, very not happy responce.
btw, i may be slow to answer posts for a couple days i have had a death in my family as well and i am trying to deal with it i am not at my home instead i am currently in Great Falls and I don't have computer access as easily. I will be here for a couple of weeks, so if I am slow at getting back to you when you email, or send messages here on collar me, that is why. |
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Ok, i have been told by a few that my profile is lacking, and yes, to an extent it is. unfortunately I have a wonderful Male in the surrounding area that will not leave me alone, there for, I am putting very little information on my profile itself. contact me, talk to me, get to know me as a person, I have pics to share, I enjoy a good chat, making friends and i hope, eventually to find the "Perfect Man" it is unfortunate that one of those i have met here is only seeking play partners, because if he ever touched me, i'd never want to let him go. I have met a few on here that have turned out to be wonderful people, a couple of them i am chatting very seriously with. whats to stop you? write me, as long as your not a moron on site, i'll write back, the worst that can happen is you make a new friend! |
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ok for those of you out there looking for the perfect barbie doll, I"M NOT HER! |
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OK, please everyone chill out, i know i'm new and everyone feels they must email me at once but come on now, i really don't want to get letters like "hey wanna have phone sex?" "hey there slut get on your knees!" or my favorit "wanna move in with me right now, i need a good slut" ......... i am not looking for a quick "fuckbegone" i am looking for a long term 24/7 relationship! if you can't handle a pain slut, go away, if you don't know how to deal with children go away, if you can't understand the words the kids are in the room, GO THE FUCK AWAY.
send me a message introducing yourself, tell me about you, don't just pop in demanding my submission, it is earned, not given freely, it is while not a gift for that would mean you expect nothing in return, and i do, for my submission i expect much in return, it is special, it is a treasure to be guarded and kept safe, it is to be respected, to be enjoyed....... you won't get it over night.
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