lostcause

Greetings one and all.  Just got back from a Hog Hunt, no not picking up fat girls at a bar for all of you who are thinking of the jokes.   I picked out a large sow about 250lbs.  If CM.com allowes the pic to be posted you can see on my profile. 

For all the non-hunters and bunny huggers that will post nasty comments or e-mails, bollax to you.  For the rest of the meat eating people, I'll let you know how it tastes later.  Now obviously can't eat 250lbs of pig, so the rest got given to a friend who donates the meat to the less fortunate.  Waste not want not. 

It was a good hunt.

Hello again everyone.  I'm back on line and in the wonderful and enchanting mid-east resort town of Baghdad, Iraq.  There is no other place in the world I would rather be, none what so ever (heavy on the sarcasim and a psycotic smile from ear to ear). 

Well I told all my fellow CM members that I would let you know when I'm back online, and here I am.   Thank you everyone who said a prayer for me and my brothers and sisters in arms. 

Well there isn't much that I can write about here without violating OPSEC (Operational Security), but I can say that things are as insane and chaotic as CNN and those other news agencies say. 

Thats all for now.  Take care everyone.

The LostCause

Hello again everyone.  I apalogise for my absence, however duty called again and I had to take off for about a month and a half.  deployments can be a real pain sometimes, wether it be for training or war.  

Durring my little "trips" I find my self thinking in my spare/off time. Usualy this time is late at night, after a partol or guard duty, or before I bed down.  I'll sit outside and light a smoke, look up at the dark night sky and just stare at the stars.  I use this time to unwind from the days' events and reflect on what happened.  At times my mind will wonder off, just drifting away.  On my last excursion to the woods, I came to a very deep and personal realization.  I AM ALONE, BUT NOT LONELY.

To further clarify this, I have not had a serious relationship with anyone for the past four years or so.  I cannot and will not blame anyone for this, or it is a personal disicipline that I have told myself to maintain while I'm still working for Uncle Sam.  I do this for a number of different reasons, but most importantly, I do it for family, and a lack there of.  Its hard on Moms, Dads, brothers, sisters, grandmothers, ect. to watch their children go off to a foreign land for war.  I have seen how hard it is on my Brothers wives and children, and how devestating it is when they do not come home.

The life of a soldier is not a very glamorus one, it is often very painful.  I wish to keep that pain to a minimum, because I have suffered I do not want others to.  So I have kept myself from getting seriously involved with anyone, no serious girl friends, no long term lovers, none.  I have had a few flings in that time, but nothing serious.  

Call it cold, closed in, or what ever psycho bable you will, but I call it a disicipline.  One that I practice out of love for that one that could have been or will be.  And like most disiciplines it hurts, but this hurt is on the inside.  I yern to find someone to love, to hold, and be with.  Untill I leave the military I will have to put those feelings aside.  

When I'm out of the US Army, I'll let you know what I did with these feelings and what they did with me.  Thats all for now, thanks for sticking with me on this one and reading all the way through.

   

I have recently had a revelation come across my mind.  When the rest of the vanilla world finds out that a person or couple is into BDSM the first thoughts that come to their mind are of whips, chins, latex suits, and torture, and automatically label that person as sexual deviant.  It can be very discouraging to some people involved in the lifestyle, especially our new commers, both Dom/Domme and sub. 

Case in point a local bar asked what kinda kinky things I like to do in the bedroom.  I responded that I was into the BDSM scene and her jaw dropped in what appeared to be disgust.  However after explaining several differant aspects of the lifestyle involves she seemed to understand what I was talking about, and even realized that some of her own personal kinks  were minor parts of what we do.

Also what the general population dosen't understand is that most of the serious couples in the comunity have a relationship based on love, understanding, compassion, and everything else that makes up what they would call a "normal" relationship.  I have yet to experiance this personally but have witnessed it with many differant couples I have come across in my wonderings around this world.

Before  this becomes a novel, I think I'll close by saying this,  The world needs to lighten up to the dark side some and try to understand it and not fear it.  Thats it for now guys and gurls.  Have a good one

hi everyone. just givinge you guys a heads up. i'll be offline for about 2 weeks and change. i have some training to go through and will be unavailible starting on the 21st of may.  you can keep writing and i will get back to you when i get home.  take care.

Well to all my friends here, I apologize for my absence and speradic attendance.  My boss thought it would be a good idea to send me to training to fly a UAV.  The course is almost over and I can get my weekends back, but wait once I finish this course, I get to go to another army school.

My question is when the hell am I going to get a minute to take care of my issues.  The major differance between civilians and military is that civilians can tell their boss to piss off and not really have to worry about loosing rank, money, your freedom, your time, and maybe jail time.  Plus you can quit your job at any time you want, we can't.  AAARRRRRGGGGG 

Well I think that takes care of my rant for today.  I hope I didn't offend anyone or hurt any feelings, but I needed to vent for a few minutes.  Take care everyone.

I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE GETTING OLD!!!!   I just got my hearing aid in and let me tell you it is a different feeling.  I'm hearing new sounds that I haven't heard in years, subltle one, like small birds cherping in the distance and such.  The hearing aid itself is a tiny little bugger that fits into the ear, its barely visible, but it is a bit uncomfortable to wear all the time.  I guess that it just takes some getting ues to.  Well i supose that is what i get for being a heavy machine gunner for 3 years, two in combat.

I guess the moral of the story is wear hearing protection when around loud noises.  Take care everyone.

Well I just got back from the audioligist office today.  Turns out that 3 years of being a heavy machinegunner has taken its toll on my ears.  I've lost a significent amount of my hearing in my left ear to the point that I require a hearing aid.
As far as my job in the Army, I may be forced to reclass to a different speciality, or (worst case) medically discharged.  I guess I'll just have to wiat and see what happens.

One evening while reading poetry, I came across a word that struck my sole as I read it.  This word was so powerful it hit me like a train. 
                        INVICTUS

The poem attached to the word was full of power and meaning.  I wish I could take credit for writing, but I cannot and will not even bother trying to.