UNBINDING MY WRATH

AKA:

BY THE TIME DOM P ARRIVES IN PHILLY

note: Yes, I know I'm playing with words in song lyrics (lol)

With a blast of a

Sweeping squall

He vanished in

Thundering silence

His words became

Death in A

Starless abyss

He couldn't be MAN enough

To reveal

In any way,shape or form

WE ARE OVER

The pillar built by him

Is now

Sinking, pierced.

By a silver winged

Sword

Slashing away

At the

Brutal damage

As the bruising heals

My steps quicken, gliding

Trickling with

Prismic Peace

A catalyst to

UNLOCK

Bullet proof walls

Guarding my heart

This new path

       Will

Lead a quest

Disintegrating, inflame

My confines

Then

Comes

LIBERATION!!

;

On Saturday 9/22 I came across a profile from another BDSM web site and read this Master was mentoring another sub. I sent a friend request and we began chatting.  This lead to this Master telling me he wished to "put me under consideration" as his sub.  We met in person on Sunday. we spent a awesome day together just talking and walking around.

Master expressed wanting a courtship, a relationship with me.

A very intense connection happened during a short time, and we hugged and kissed goodbye.

After I got home I was on text with Master and he asked me if I was in love with him.

Before leaving this Master he asked me to consider a commitment with him.

Before any conversation with this Master I had made a friend request to another Dom.  It was a friend request nothing more.

When I made the request for this Master, the one I met on Sunday I read his profile, mostly skimmed over it.

I went onto this Master's profile after spending the day with him and I noticed a picture of him with another girl dated a month ago and in his profile he stated she was under consideration. 

Through phone text, I asked Master about this and his response was that he isn't involved with her because she isn't in the life 24/7.  At that point I asked him to put on his profile that I was under consideration, which I had done on my profile Saturday night.

Master saw that I had sent a friend request to another Dom and asked me about it, stating I was not following the protocol he gave me, which I understood would apply if I become his sub.

I explained to Master the request was made before we met or even talked.

His reply was that "if you feel you need to speak to him continue"

I replied that I didn't feel the need and would rescind the friendship.

After that no reply from Master and when I phoned him he didn't answer.

At this point I don't know what to think or how to respond any further.

Thanks to some very good advice I researched sub frenzy and it was as if my picture, my mind, my spirit, my inner sub-ness was staring back at me.

I can not get enough of of reading and learning about BDSM.   It's amazing to me where I was in life before May of this year when I went outside my comfort zone to fulfill a fantasy, to where I am today.  Before then, I could not see myself in the BDSM lifestyle, and that had to do with not understanding about the lifestyle.

What a path of discovery!!  I have come to realize that there is something about the "chase" in a relationship, no matter if it's vanilla or any other type of a relationship at the beginning.

The "chasher" is enthralled at the beginning, as long as that partner hasn't 'caught' the 'chasee.'

So many times once the 'chase' is over, the one doing the chasing does not feel challenged, or gets bored.  When that happens that partner may still stay in the relationship, but will begin to take the other partner for granted, or may start looking for challenges (affairs) outside the relationship.  When it's a BDSM/ D/s relationship in my opinon, that chase could go on a very long time because there is so much to explore.  So, if at the time the partner who is doing the 'chase' gets bored, goes outside the relationship for more challenge, or ends the D/s relationship, it could be/ would be  devastating to the partner who is "dumped".  

Yet, even with my first experience as a sub, I don't regret what I experienced, learned about myself.

I wouldn't change a thing. This makes me think of Garth Brooks song "The Dance".

I really need to comply some music that isn't about

still wanting back the that person who has made the choice to not be part of my life!  Songs like "Here without you" Three doors down, "Still" by Reba and "Heart won't lie" by Vince Gill and Reba, "Tomorrow" by Clay Walker are not good for me to listen to so much!!

Songs like "Undo it" by Carrie Underwood, "What's Love Got to do with it" by Tina Turner, or completely unrelated to relationships or love is what I need to listen to.  For anyone reading this feel free to make suggestions!  Music is how I heal and in general is something I use to relate to so many things in life.

9/17/12

I ACHE

The kind of ache which

Spears through my endless essence

Breaking my stony fortress

               Into

Sparkling silver ashes

Swirling to the soundless squall

The spiral twisting, rising above the cliff’s edge

There is no end…

Not until I am once again

The wench adorned in

Coiled braided gold

Circled across my body, his treasures alone

He who can bring me to the

Moonless brink of never-ending

Fantasy intoxication