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Sakura

littleoneinont

Female Submissive, 34, atlanta, Georgia
Female Submissive, 48, Seymour, Georgia
Female Submissive, 26, Anytown USA, Ohio
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About littleoneinont







Writing a profile is very hard because i don't know what to say, do i just be like everyone else and say what they (meaning Dom's) want to hear or do i be honest and say that i'm not sure what i'm looking for that i know i want to make friends with someOne first and that i believe that constant communication and contact are vital to making Y/your needs and desires known to the other person. i could say that i'm a great sub but that would be a lie, how can You judge how good i am at something when each Dom has His own idea as to what He wants from a sub. i’m very much into the complete interaction between Dom and sub and believe that complete submission comes from the heart and head and not from fear but from the need and desire to do whatever i can to make Him happy. Ok now i'm just rambling lol. So tell me what You would like to know about me and i'll be happy to answer, i personally use the word rubenesque to describe myself but i find that most men have no idea what that means. i am looking right now to connect with a few to chat with . As for age, well age is just a number it's the person behind the number that i'm more interested in, now i'm not talking over 65 that is too far but i would say 60 is the cut off date at the most as for younger than i am, not something i'm interested in as well. So i would say anywhere from 40-60 that is a good range and most Men in that range know what they are doing, i would hope anyway. Well i could lie and say that i don't think BDSM is about sex at all but i was trained long ago that honesty is the only way to go. i love sex there is nothing better than the feeling that it gives, the pleasure, the look of absolute lust in a man’s eyes is the biggest turn on there is. i like to have my bottom spanked but not really hard, i love anal sex but not all the time, i enjoy all there is to enjoy about sex and the fun stuff that goes with it, bondage, etc. but like You i want the other aspects of it as well, the mutual respect, love, the desire to be the best i can be for Him. The feeling of security and absolute bliss is my ultimate goal for me and for the One who chooses me.

Well it's been a month since Master decided W/we needed a break from each other, i am still His for now. He says He loves me but i'm not so sure, how can it be easy to ignore someone You love completely, without hesitation? i don't understand that myself and never will, Even if He feels it is the best thing for the long run, what happens if i just stop caring about seeing Him again? What if this causes intense animosity towards Him and when He's ready to come back i'm not ready to take Him? It's a very hard time for me right now.
Those closest to me know of the hard time Master and i are going through right now. i thank T/them daily for their support but it's all in His hands now. i could have walked away free and clear but i chose to stay because of my love for Him. Now W/we have a long road ahead of U/us in order to fix what has been broken.i pray everyday that something will finally go right for U/us but lately it seems that nothing is. Perhaps time will heal and mend everything in the mean time i am just holding my breath waiting for the next bomb to fall on U/us. i know that i shouldn't be but because of everything that is going on i can't help but be cynical and hopeless. This is a very trying time for me with many days of wanting to just leave everything and be alone.
So how do i deal with betrayal and hurt from people i love and trust the most? Knowing that they intentionally set out to do something they knew would hurt me emotionally? i would rather suffer hours of physical pain than go through the raw emotional pain that comes through with each second of my day.To know that my feelings meant so little to them that they crushed them so easily without hesitation or regret. and then to be told to just live with it, how is that supposed to make me a better slave? i'm at the point where i'm ready to just leave. i would rather suffer the humdrum of a boring vanilla life than to go through this emotional pain. When you submit to someone you trust Them with everything, you give them everything and all you ask for in return is to be loved and treasured. To have them treat your emotions with such disregard is crushing, so what do i do?
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