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Male Dominant, 33, Fresno, California
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Male Dominant, 30, NYC, New York
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Male Dominant, 45
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About LightningAndYoga
( the questions for self-discovery,
that I refer people to,
are near the bottom: just scroll down to near the bottom & you'll see 'em : )
---
I'm off to live in the bush for a year or so:
see ya in 2014, civilization!
( year-long retreat for Spiritual development :)
* update in Nov 2013, after moving to the bush last winter...
damn, but trying to mesh with "humanity" is EDUCATIONAL...
why, I wonder, is profound meaning something that "humanity" need smash from existence?
it's more important that I birth my soul's meaning than that I understand why civilized-conditioning/programming needs to smash subtle & deep spirit from universe, though, so rather than waste my limited life endlessly fighting with an addict ( civilized mind-condition that normals are conditioned/programmed into ), I continue force-integrating me, alone, in the bush.
That crazy Jewish gnostic "Jesus" was right:
you CANNOT orient *simultaneously* both to conventional-worth & one's soul, itself.
only souls are worth orienting one's meaning & life to.
end-of-update *
New ( this was winter 2012/2013 ) Update:
I Might as well inform readers of interesting toys I've come-across since the '90s on BDSM sites, eh?
Here's one by a company my Firefox + WOT ( Web Of Trust ) plugin says is not very trustworthy, so I'd only buy from them on a "gift" visa-card that they couldn't ever max out through all my money on...
http://www.bodybouncer.nl/
Leather By Danny / GripCuffs:
http://www.gripcuffs.com/homeall.htm
( WOT gives them a green-ring rating )
Also a green-ring:
http://www.medicaltoys.com/electric.htm
https://www.feeldoe.com/page6.html
scroll down a bit...
-laughing-
( WOT hasn't got enough data to rate 'em, but
why don't all the Dommes in the world use these instead of strapons??? )
vibrating nipple suction-cups:
http://www.edenfantasys.com/nipple-luscious-vibrating-suction/adult-toys-dvds-18396
( green-ring in WOT )
Here's a new addition to this list:
http://www.azurebellajewelry.com/servlet/the-8752/Mens-Heavy-Curb-Chain/Detail
the 30" version of that makes a good steel collar, if wound double 'round one's sub's neck
( if they fit a 15" diameter collar, or less! )
and here's the "bracelet" size, for anklets & bracelets
http://www.azurebellajewelry.com/servlet/the-8751/Mens-Heavy-Curb-Chain/Detail
Obviously, if 7.5" is ideal, but they've only got 7 OR 8, put together a 7 & an 8, then wrap 'em round as a "single" chain, to get the length right ( but the weight doubled )
... that's it for today's update, enjoy!
UPDATE:
I'm moving out to the bush, as-in
no cabin, no power, no cell, just me & the bush,
( & tent, solar module, notebook computer, textbooks,
drumming & flute, yogas & meditations, drawing & paintings )
to force a profound integration in me.
Call it "a retreat" if that makes more sense to you,
call it "boot camp" if bootiness makes moar sense to you:
its intent is to change me permanently,
to make unbreakable-meditation be the foundation of my mind and life,
forever.
Until that change happens, my integration is primary,
and all other engagements are secondary.
Namaste, eh?
( :
---
( south of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada )
---
And Now...
A Massage from our Sponsor
( my sponsor is Real-Worth, that-is, the sponsor of all our Living! )
Here's an awesomely excellent means of increasing one's owning of one's career,
one's LIFE,
one's SELF...
http://www.amazon.com/Business-Model-You-One-Page-Reinventing/dp/1118156315/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335397949&sr=8-1
I'm putting the amazon.COM link, because of the reviews: you read them, and you'll understand some of what I find to be liberating about working-through this book...
another item worthy of note is this:
Axsmar "Captivating Steel"
finishes for his work:
http://www.axsmar.eu/wid-8-Oberflaechen.html
his ( semi-affordable ) Stainless Steel stuff:
http://www.axsmar.eu/kids-32-2-Stainless-steel.html
my favourite, the Hephiastos style:
http://www.axsmar.eu/kid-33-a-Hephaistos.html
this collar, in Pearl, and click-lock, is really nice:
http://www.axsmar.eu/aid-209-Hephaistos-neck-collar-X-Individual-collar-made-to-your-desires.html
Now... Back to the Regular Program...
---
I want woman to submit to loving, cherishing, pampering,
being undressed, bathed, groomed,
dressed, held, disciplined into "sub"space,
ruthless ravishing, kaizen ( continuous-improvement/evolution ),
yogas, forced-orgasm, skill-growing trainings & tantras
( including drumming, drawing/painting, Bellydancing... ),
& only if required as aversion-therapy, punishment
( like for DUI, indulging in addiction, committing abuse, etc ).
I'm a Top, not a sadist, and also,
I'm committed to growing my sub's worth/validity,
not letting her potential be put-down, by unconscious "convention" or by anybody's determination/presumption.
I want woman to challenge me to increase my evolution & integrity
( 2 things I value more than my life ),
& as I consider the normally-assumed limits to be bogus, to push my self-honesty towards perfection
( one learns a LOT more in each day of good relationship
than one does alone.. : )
I want immersive partner, not doormat or passive,
vital meaning not mindlessness,
Spirit Living, no mere mundane "living"!
And sillynesses, too...!
( :
Here's my TantricDancingEagle profile on Plenty o'Fish:
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=36207806
so you can see another angle of my meaning...
( they apparently won't let me login again, because I didn't login every 5 days or something, AND they won't re-activate my login there... idjiocies! )
also, youtube for "Kodo Spirit of Taiko"
( without the quotes ) & get a true treat...
also, youtube for "Johnny Rabb Tamtam"
and you'll find ( I think it's the first result ) an INCREDIBLE kit-drummer playing on electronic drums ( the complexity he's playing is stunning, with surgical precision & insane speed...
made me discover Jojo Mayer, & rediscover Gene Krupa!
youtube for Jojo Mayer TEDx and get an interesting talk, A38 Ship and get an insanely-sustained Jungle piece, played on an acoustic kit... that drumming... oooh/yoi! )
I find much in these 2 stories wromantic
( I skimmed 'em, so I don't know if the promised
putting Zoie out of J&J's relationship happened...
I stopped reading while the 3 of them were all mututally loving & in-love,
because TO ME, Love overrides convention, unlimitedly...
how anyone could insist monogamy-CONVENTION overrides
true love & whole-loving,
I can't grok )...
hence giving you the links...
AND hence me not finishing reading the story, too...
( what you want/need isn't necessarily identical to what I want/need, eh? :)
http://www.LitErotica.com/s/zoie-doulos
http://www.LitErotica.com/s/zoies-valentine
http://www.BDSMLibrary.com/ also has some interesting ones...
Cheerses!
PS: this need be added, apparently:
I'm NOT anyone's sugar-daddy, and I *despise* parasitism,
*including any I find in my own unconscious mind that would use others, anyhow!*
I am committed to using my life-resources to MAKE possible
the freeing-from-abuse of others' lives, in whatever most-robust, most systematically-capable manner I can find, that can't be sabotaged or scammed
( which means probably getting people the training-information & understanding they need to break their own cycle is best:
everything else can be diverted too easily, from the scams I've been ..
how to be polite ..
.. sucker-punched by, or seen others used by, in my life ).
I don't care HOW many get away with molestation, violation, dishonesty, robbery/muggery, aggressive abuse, subtle abuse, emotional murderousness, or whatever:
it isn't OK,
and I am committed to using my life to put a nail in its coffin!
( & a steak in its heart, no matter how "hammy" such a wish may act )
If that orientation, the orientation of one who would rather die broke,
but with *integrity* having greater proof/truth in the world,
isn't something you want enough to invest emotionally in,
please don't bother trying to communicate with me, eh?
If such conventionally-deemed to be "incompetent" motivation
as integrity, or making better-world,
or other ways of putting it, makes some sense to you,
then maybe you care the same way as me?
I say "incompetent" in that previous sentence,
only because that is what integrity is,
in shallow/materialist-society's eyes:
incompetent idiocy
( lies make money more easily than honesty/integrity can,
therefore lies are money-"better" than ruthlessly-honest integrity, rightttt? )...
Sorry 'bout the grumping,
: P
but why use resources to prove one's privilege,
when one can instead use the same resources to unabuse beaten-on lives??
Cheers.
Here's MOAR!!1!:
The gist of this is from:
http://rachelrabbitwhite.com/what-kind-of-submissive-are-you-everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-kinky-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask/
but I find there are a few structural erors in the meaning they got
( just as I expect others to discover structural erors in what I get! )
... they found "7 matrices", I find 19++ dimensions...
I'm right, of course...
( :-p )
or write, as this IS my writing...
My answers are after the whole-block-of-questions,
so you can cut-and-paste the block of questions to other pages,
& amplify/re-write 'em, to your heart's content,
without having to edit-out my answers
( if you find such questions help gain understanding
quickly & rightly in your/anyone's relationship or personal meaning! )
19++ ( I keep discovering MOAR!! ) Dimensions of Submission or/and Relationship:
Does serving someone/everyone feed your heart? ( or, Do you want your love-someone serving you? )
Do you want to feel in 1, many or all ways owned? ( or, Do you want to own your love-someone? )
Do you want/need to be immobilized, to be made physically-helpless, or to be physically-frustrated? ( or do you need to do it to your love-someone? )
Do you want/need to be beneath authority-force, to be obeying orders? ( or do you want/need your love-someone to obey? )
Is embarrassing-intimacy, or invasion, your want/need? ( or, Do you want/need to embarrass/invade your love-someone? )
[ this isn't the same as denigration/humiliation:
this is the essence of many "medical" fantasies,
whereas denigration/humiliation/putting-down is its own thing. ]
Do you want/need to be pressed by great physical-sensation - whether forced-orgasm or flogging/spanking, whether all the way into subspace or not... being forced through sensation-force into greater frame-of-reference - ? ( do you want/need to do this to your love-someone? )
Do you want/need to be subject to involuntary-intimacy, forced-intimacy, or fucking, or forced-orgasm, aka Ravishing? [ evidently several other dimensions here can meddle with this one ]
Hardness of being controlled: Nylon-rope & physically-encouraged, & lovingly "commanded" TO steel shackles, chain, & ordered without gentleness, or/and physically-forced without consideration.
Do you want/need to be Sharpened/Smartened-Up, or dumbed-down?
Do you want/need your submission to be private within your relationship, private within your close friends, including your acquaintances, or do you want/need the public's awareness pressing you?
Ritual to Sponenaeity... ( how the hell is that word supposed to be spelled? ) Do you want living to be all ritual? Do you want living to be entirely intuitive-flow? Do you want living to be entirely-random? Which balance/mixture do you want/need?
Do you want/need to be subject to sexual-denial, whether orgasm-denial or arousal-denial?
Do you want/need to be pushed into growing patience, or do you want chaos displacing you from being with yourself?
Do you want/need to be difficult, Instigatrix/obstreperous or passive?
Does being denigrated/humiliated, being put-down, being treated as an inferior-substance, happen to be your want/need? ( or, do you want/need to do it to someone in relationship? )
Does being treated as an object, or depersonalized, happen to be your want/need? ( or, Do you need to objectify your love-someone? )
Do you want/need pain piercing your awareness or breaking your conventional-mind? ( or do you need to pierce someone's awareness with pain? )
Do you want/need to be immersed in fear?
Do you want/need to resonate-in victim-anxiety ( what "suspense" movies drench people unconsciously in )?
Do you want/need to be/feel abandoned, or given-away? [ is this 2 things? abandonment & being treated as commodity? ]
My answers:
I don't much care for being-served, except intimately: I'd rather we both get what need doing, done, together, but I do reserve the right to serve my sub/"slave", as a means of making her feel her submission ( submitting to undressing, to bathing, to being fed wonderful food, to specific trainings... intimate-serving includes learning Bellydancing for me... ).
I want/need to own my love-woman. Not in all ways, but in intimacy, in intimacy-loyalty to our relationship, in surrender, in my right to explore & conquer her, & to know her heart, essence & her meaning.
I want/need to immobilize my love, to force her through greater intimacy-overwhelming & breaking her mind through crashing waves of orgasm. Just Because.
I want/need my love-someone to obey me, in some, specific ways, ONLY:
I want/need intimacy-obedience ( the right to play-with my love anywhen, anywhere, anyhow, Just Because ), I want/need emotional-honesty, no matter what ( & my love has the obligation to hold me to that same standard, and must obey this rule/principle ), I want/need my love to be loyal to LivingSpirit first, not to me first, no matter what... I don't want my love ever being dishonest in closeness, in giving, or doing, in words or emotions, with me or LivingSpirit/her-SOUL...
Invasion is critical in making intimacy more piercing of someone's awareness...
I want/need to press my love with sensation-force, to give birth to her subspace-awareness, her HUGE mind, AND I want/need her to obey me in pressing me into it, too, my right way. I ALSO want/need to break my love through forced-orgasm, simply for me to enjoy the rubbling of her mind through unbearable pleasure...
I want/need involuntary-intimacy, aka sexual-submission, to be most-fundamental dimension of my love making herself mine, entirely...
Nylon rope, gentle orders ( with discipline backing 'em, don't doubt! ), and loving-force: I want nylon-rope on my love, but I want steel between that nylon-rope & whatever solid it's attached-to: soft on her, but hard/unyielding between her & her affixing...
I need my love to be sharpened-up, increased in smartness & vital-agility: if anything befalls my love, I want her surviving, if not thriving!
I want/need our relationship to be OURs, not public's: they haven't earned trust ( by far ). As-for few-friends, it'd have to be within-our-intimacy-relationship, or it'd have to be a multi-someone-marrying-of-our-hearts... ( poly ). I'm not a "swinger": casual/careless intimacy is wasteful of heart...
I want/need some, specific rituals: like when we close the door to the civilized-world, leaving their crass smogs outside, then my love-someone submits to undressing, me bathing her in caresses, wiping away the coarseness of industry's world, then, when she is nude/dressed/collared however I want her, she undresses civilization from me, bathing me in her attentions, this ritual making our space our intimacy-space...
I certainly don't want our life to be ritualized, though! Ritual's a means of breaking crassness's momentum from one!
Later in my relationship will sexual-denial, specifically Tantra, become part of our practice/Way: it is the fastest method, by far, of increasing one's nervous-system's "voltage"... Read Elisabeth Haich's "Sexual ENERGY & Yoga" for some of that background...
I want/need patience to be grown in our relationship, but I also want/need my relationship to be trained to withstand chaos, so it can't break/wreck our relationship opportunistically.
I want/need my love-someone to be instigatrix/obstreperous, rather-than passive: challenge, not padding...
I don't want denigration/humiliation in my relationship
( I use denigration against my ignorance,
but that's part of all-out war:
it hasn't any place in milder, or interpersonal relationships )
I don't want objectification/depersonalization in my relationship or my love-someone, though it is a harmonic in my training of me...
I don't know if I need pain piercing my awareness, but want/need sensation-force, not pain, conquering my-love to her REAL mind, shedding her habit-mind...
I don't care for fear.
I don't find victim-anxiety healthy, an indulgence ( trust I want to be my-relationship's home )
I don't want any "abandonment" in my relationships. ( hurts too deep, too much )
Ha!
Ach, Yet Another!!
21. Gender vs Sex: Are you attracted to female BEing? to antrogynous BEing, or/and to male BEing? Are you attracted to female FORM, to androgynous form, or/and to male form?
My answer: I'm attracted to female BEing, no matter whether the body appears female/male ( some gays, female-BEings, are just SO sweet/huggable ), but the form I'm attracted to is female ( no matter how sweet the BEing of a gay, female-form "does" my mind ).
And Another! Arghh!
22. Approval: do you want/need your owner's/authority's approval? Do you want/need to not have approval? Do you want/need your someone to be dependent on your approval?
My answer: If I could go through my life with no human ever approving-of anything I do, ever again, my heart would only get stronger...
I want my love-someone to be independent of anyone's approval, and the effective means of gaining that, is through positive-reinforcement of her intrinsic rightness & validity.
Assuming dependency on others' "approval" for one's "self-esteem" is to be made into a pinyata, instead of being grown into a capable total/extant/real PERSON...
Undermining assumptions have no right to manipulate our world, let-alone our lives!
Double-HA!
: p
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