LaPetiteMorte

More thoughts on " seeking" here on collarme....

Is he shy about giving you any clue of who he is..where he is from..his number, etc. ? You can bet on it, He is a liar and/or a player.

Someone contacts you from ..lets say, England..Germany..Norway..Sweden...

What do you think your chances are of actually meeting..having a "relationship" ? None, Zero, Zilch ! 

For if he seeks outside of his Country, there is a REASON ! He is usually married with children and a nice house with a white picket fence ! Ladies, he is playing you ! 

Think, all of his contacts are in Utah, Illinois, indiana, California, Ohio.. etc. Wh do YOU think this is? Do you think yourself special? I have news for you..you are not THAT special. No, what this IS about, is not getting caught by the wife.

So, be careful who you instill your trust in.

Just thoughts...

Meet your potential Dom/Master in a restaurant. The way he treats the serving staff will give you insight into how he'll treat you. Ask how long he has owned his car. If he leases a different car every year, how long is he likely to stay interested in you? What shape is his car in? If he can't take care of that, will he take good care of you? Probably not ! 

Okay ...here we go with the Friday "rant"

I opened up my inbox this AM, coffee cup wielding, looking to see who wrote and viewed my profile. 

Mail from a few select was answered, one even keeps me laughing and entertained about the various building and rebuilding of things. GOOD, I enjoy a great conversation with funny accents :)

Now, off i go to click the who "viewed" me button....lo and behold, the first thing that "springs" into my face is a huge,erect cock ...Really? I have tried to enjoy my morning coffee !!! Now, I am no prude and no stranger to nudity, but really? I find it tasteless,classless. Do you like to see wrinkled old pussy shots pop up into your face? i doubt it ! There you go, enough said. 

Happy weekend all

I've been thinking about this off and on since both reading it in "Living M/s" and hearing it from julie_R. Like many things, I throw it into the thinking pot until it bubbles to the surface and the soup is done.

Last weekend I attended a dungeon play party (not my first one , btw) and watched some amazingly intense scenes. Yes, there was rope. I was sitting close enough to one rope scene to get my contact high from the rope bottom's complete surrender to the joy of the rope hugging her body. I listened to the smack of hands on flesh, the crack of whips, the thud of floggers. Part of me wanted to feel the sensations, to know the feeling of hands on my flesh, the kiss of the whip, the impact of the flogger; I so wanted to play. And in my mind, I wondered why I had so wanted to attend a play party when I knew that I wouldn't be playing.

As I spent the evening talking with the friend I was attending the party with, and she waited (patiently sometimes even) for her Sir to decide it was time to play, I watched her. She attended to her Sir, making sure he had something to drink and that his needs were being met, even as she did the "I want to play" dance once she was finished getting him a soda or his coffee. She moved around the area, always aware of where he was. She talked with friends, passing out hugs to those who were lucky enough to be on her hug list. And she continued to keep an eye on her Sir, waiting for his signal that it was time to play. I watched the dance of the slave, wanting something...and knowing that it wasn't going to happen in her time. I won't say she was serene and patient, that's not her style; but she waited, knowing that in his time, it would happen.

As she knelt in front of her Master, naked and waiting for him to take her hands and stand her up to begin their play, I realized that the dance I'd been watching all evening was their life. She wants and waits and serves. Underneath, she may be a churning mass of "I'm so ready to play" but she waits, serving him and his needs.

M/s is how we live. We serve, we wait, we surrender our will and our wants and our needs to our Masters because that is how we express our submission to them. We say "I love you" with our actions. We say "I am devoted to you" by keeping one ear open to listen for them, knowing that as he wakes up, he's going to want his morning coffee brought to him. We live as slaves because something in our hearts is fulfilled with the joy of service. No, every moment is not erotic play, it's not a 24/7 life of play. It's a 24/7 life of expressing our devotion through our actions, by being a credit to our Dominants by our actions. Just as a mother doesn't stop being a mother because she's not with her children 24/7, a slave doesn't stop being a slave because they're aren't physically in the presence of, kneeling in front of or actively serving her master.

BDSM is how we play. M/s is how we live. Suddenly, it's crystal clear. BDSM may be how we play, but without the play, I'm still his slave 24/7. And that, to borrow that corny movie line "completes me."

Safety ~ Meeting someone for the first time

Deciding to meet someone for the first time is always a big step and should never be taken for granted nor lightly. Your safety should always be your first consideration no matter how long you have emailed each other or even talked on the phone. First meetings should never be a “play date” but rather a face to face introduction and a chance for open discussion and negotiation. This is a big step in a new relationship and no matter how excited, anxious or eager you may be, take your time and do it right. If this person is right for you they will respect that.

How to meet ~

Hopefully you have exchanged photos already so you know what the other person looks like. Sometimes it is good to request a second photo, one not posted on a website just to see if they have other more personal pictures to insure they are indeed a “real person”. You both should let each other know what you will be wearing and/or have some other form of a marker available like a distinctive piece of jewelry or other accessory.  

When to meet ~

Weekends in the early afternoon are real good and it should leave you extra time for a nice chat over dinner if all goes well. A good number of people are usually out then as well and provide you with the best opportunity to have a private talk in public.

Where to meet ~

Parties, munches and other scene socials are not recommended. Both of you may know others there and there are too many possible sources of distraction. A local coffee shop or small restaurant is preferred as you can usually find a nice balance of people vs. privacy. Try to avoid locations with lots of children present just in case you are overheard. If you are both local to each other try to find a location that you both are familiar and comfortable with. If you are separated and meeting halfway or near one persons hometown, pick a location that is not too hidden away and can be accessed easily from major roads, highways and can be found on Mapquest or other driving direction service. Set the date far enough in advance so that you can make a “dry run” and visit the location and become familiar with it.

Safety net ~

Set up a safe call. Let someone you know and trust know where you are going and arrange for them to be home to receive your calls at specific times or on the hour. Don’t just tell them, rather write down for them where you are going, and provide them with information on who you are meeting in detail, i.e. phone number, photo or any other details you can provide. Do not leave this information up to their memory as memory is often one of the first things to fail in stressful situation. Use a safe word as well when you call such as “flower(s)” inform them that if you do not use this word you are under duress. “Yes, he brought me a flower”, “You have to tell me later where you got those flowers from” and so on, plan this ahead with several variations that are not too obvious in case something does go wrong and someone is forcing you to make your safe call.

Back up letter ~

Put together a letter that has very thorough detail as to when, where and how you met the person you are going to meet. Photos, contact information and every possible detail you have about them. You can leave this at home and let your safe call friend know where it is in case something does go wrong. If you do not have a safe call friend then at the very least you will have left police with a lot of information to help them find you in case of foul play.

Miscellaneous ~   

Try to avoid alcohol during a meeting for obvious reasons and also to minimize the potential of the other person utilizing any “date rape” drugs or similar substances.

Don’t assume anything, just because you are a strong female dominant you still may find that the male you are meeting is not so submissive.

If you are traveling a long distance and will be staying at a motel, do not tell the person you are meeting about this or where you are staying.

If you are feeling pressured let the other person know and try to end the date, leave after he or she does, try to make sure you can actually see/verify them leaving in their vehicle.

If they are not cooperating at all, go to the washroom, slip out the back door and GO if you can do so safely and without being followed. This is why the dry run is important.

Know where the local police department is, if you are being followed call 911 and drive there or another very public place.

Do not allow yourself to compromise any of the safety protocols you have set up for any reason, I don’t care how hot he/she is they will still be hot next week for your next date.

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Someone sent this to me...I hope you all enjoy it as much as I have.

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The Man before the Master or the Master before the Man?

Someone asked this question this past weekend and I know that one of my sisters is wrestling with this as well......

The Master is always there..often "behind the scenes"..always there for His "girl".

Hard to say but in my opinion a Master is always also a Man and He will know exactly when His girl needs "just" a man..HER Man, or her Master. It takes a lot of trust and love and devotion to "let go", He leads, i follow, complicated, yet so simple..

My sweet K.  When all is said and done, He is "just" a Man..remember that ! Stop fighting so much, stop fighting yourself, stop fighting Him. He gave you a lot of lee way these past days, contact was broken,chores remained undone. Rules were not followed, yet He never punished you...all He wanted to know was that you were safe.

As always, I will be honest with you, in the beginning..I could not see Him with you or you with Him..I do not believe any of us did or could.I thought Him much too rough and unrefined for you. The eloquent, classy K and He..what? Just another  horny guy ! Brutally honest and (not being demeaning here ) so out of your league.We all see your struggles and  we will always be here for you. But, it is not nor will it ever be our choice.

Do right by Him, K. or it will cost you your collar.

Since you are not answering my calls, I am posting here since i do know that you will read this. I am here..reach out, but most of all ,reach out to Him.

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I will miss you so very much. You have earned your wings now fly.

My darling April,I remember...and will never forget.
God how I miss you little girl.
Rest in Peace til I can hold you again...

In Loving Memory
April Marie Catona 
December 24, 1986 - June 1, 2011

Beloved niece