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NOLAsubbie
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Seeking sub males and females for play, possibly more...
Here are a few of my interests...
Psychological Domination, Bondage and Discipline, OTK Spanking, CBT, Tickling, Sensation Play, Spanking, Corporal Punishment, Whipping, Flogging, Caning, Cuckolding, Verbal Humiliation, Foot Fetish, Trampling, Boot, Shoe and Leg Worship, Role Playing, Infantilism, Leather, Rope, Bondage
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I cried tonight for the first time in... well, I can't remember the last time I cried. It's probably been about two years. These were tears of joy yet it encompassed so much forgotten sorrow, so difficult to explain without delving into the deeply personal. All in all, it's a good thing I finally cried. |
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I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect in some ways. I am perfect in my sophistication and idealism of how I think things should be with the world. There are definitely things I would like to perfect about myself though. The strength is that I know each and every one of those things, and I actually strive to make progress most days.
A sub must accept his Mistress as perfect in every way though, even if she is not. The problem with so many of you is that you can't even make the decision on whether or not a dominant woman you have encountered is the right woman for you to submit to- if you are so pathetic that you submit to every dominant female you encounter, you will be a miserable little subbie, like a lost dog dropped a thousand miles from its home trying to find his way.
It doesn't really make much sense to just called your self submissive and not have a ideal in mind of what your Dominant would embody. What does she look, feel, taste, smell, how does she speak.... what does she desire? Why sort of relationship does she desire with you? It's all so very complicated, isn't it?
My household, as I imagine it to be in the future, is one of many deserving subbies who live in their quarters keeping my home clean, making me dinner, dutifully pedicuring my feet and sitting quietly when I demand it.
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Sleeping the afternoon away on a Sunday is fine until you try to go to sleep when you're suppose to later that night.
I need a foot massage... and a back massage... and a warm sub to curl up to and bite on the neck.
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I love to see a man in pain at my very mercy. Not in a cruel way necessarily but that look of longing. That look of true desire for and the realization that they have everything they need because they receive my attention. A thankful, pitiful silence that screams to me he is my absolute servant. He is willing to do anything for me without reservation. He would lick my dirty boot clean when I ask him without question. He will wait for me and attend to my needs. He will wake me up each morning as I wish and draw my bath, make me breakfast and have every dish washed before I am dressed. He will go to work and anxiously perform the mundane tasks of a successful career because he knows when he is done, he will be put back in his place in my presence, at my service. He will look forward to those days when he can smell another man on me and worship every inch of my body devouring the scent of sex all over me. Some nights, I will send him off to sleep in his quarters, perhaps eventually with other servants eventually. Some nights I may call upon his warmth to wrap around me while I sleep. He will see this as the ultimate privilege to sleep in his Mistresses' bed. Widely unheard of, but useful on cold nights to keep warm. The warmth of another beside me is comforting at times. The better thrill for me is to shut him out when I have a guest sleep over and fuck madly a man of greater worth that him. Loudly making it known to him that I am satisfied by someone else, in a way he will never be able to satisfy me. A submissive of mine needs to know that his place is to serve and sometimes, his service will not do an adequate job for me. It will thrill him to see me orgasm intensely, his cock will get hard in his chastity device and hurt intensely.
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a natural...
so, it seems that i've had this urge for a long time.
tonight, my childhood neighbor reminded me that I used to tie him and his brother up in the systern.
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It's been a while since I've risen early and got moving for a good reason in the morning. I can swing getting up at 7:30 and making it to work on time. Today though, I impressed myself by getting up at 6:00am to go jogging. Go me. So, it looks like I'll be making that my regular Tuesday and Thursday routine while going to the gym on Monday Wednesday and Friday will not be so much of a challenge... unless- like last night- I decide going home to open the huge box of sex toys I got today.
Toys make me happy. That's all.
Oh, apparently today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! So, Aye, Aye, matey.
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*Yawn*
There must be something...
I should be sleeping. But instead I'm thinking again about all the crap I need to do tomorrow.
Which means....
I really should just get to sleep so I can get up early and do everything, I have to do tomorrow.
Going to jog on the levee tomorrow morning. Going to bring the vicious little Catahoula mutt. She's been so edgy lately, I might even let her go roll in the dead stuff in the river.
Yuck. Then she'll need a bath. She's not much on rolling in dead things thing, that's not something she considers fun. She considers fun barking at the armadillos and chasing the squirrels.
Squirrely. Like me right now. Need sleep. |
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I'm really bored with this site. I thought I'd find a valuable sub, but it doesn't seem to be happening.
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BAH. PLEASE, do not email me with a "Hello." Substance, underlings, substance. I need more to go on. Why would I want to reply to something who just sends me a message of hello. Tell me what you liked about my profile or a journal entry, tell me about your wants and sick perverted desires. Come on. If I get one more useless message from you pions, I will scream. |
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I have had the desire, as of late, to plug a sub up with a feathered anal plug- specifically, one with peacock feathers and prance him (*a male peacock*) around the yard as a bird. Though, being that the peacock is such a stately bird and deserves royal status, this sub would have to have done something wonderful to deserve this sort of coronation march. Ah, yes. A coronation march, I can get out the finest of my jewels and dresses, and invite all of my friends over in the procession to collar my cock. What a lovely thought.
Too bad I've yet to find a sub worthy of such an honor. Building a harem or flock of subs takes time though, and I will know for certain when the chemistry has brewed to the exact consistancy. We shall dine on feasant and foul, exotic delicacies, and have our subs at our feet. I do need to make friends with more Dommes when I move... wherever that ends up. Again, I hate being in limbo with my professional life. Hate it, hate it, hate it. But once those problems are out of the way, I will proceed with my dreams. |
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I love making my own toys. Aside from my sex toy party company and website- I really enjoy finding everyday objects and turning it into a kinky pleasure tool.
This morning, while talking on the phone with an interested sub, I was burning the ends of a piece of silk rope and thought, this would make a great little flogger if I put some wooden beads on the unravelled ends. Sure enough, I have a new toy now.
Once I have a place of my own, I can finally dedicate a room to play. I have ideas for my dungeon, and I need to keep them jotted down somewhere, so why not here? Funkysofa.com has awesome furniture pieces, and I'm thinking a bordello burgundy accented with lots of velvets and sheers. A chaise lounge, two high heels shoe chairs (which, btw are great sex chairs), a St. Andrew's Cross on one wall, another wall of whips and tools to play.... A flat panel mounted on the wall playing bondage porn 24/7.
A girl can dream, right?
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Because I can't fucking sleep again.
I can't believe the audacity of some people. Selfish people, mostly. People who whine and complain about the quality of dommes on here, but then turn around and act like little piss asses. Piss ant twats. Sheesh, whatever you think you know of me, you haven't a fucking clue.
Tonight, while trying to have a conversation with the powers that be, I resolved to stop justifying my actions to the fallacy. Then, I realized that the fallacy of some is simply in that they have nothing to lose.
If you've nothing to lose, then there's nothing to gain. In order to have something of value, you must cherish it. Everyone has to cherish something. Cherish your life, at the very least, yes? Please, tell me you at least cherish life?
That is my hope for people. If, though, you do not cherish something enough to give up your life, at least cherish others for what they've given you, selfish pricks. Live simply, so others may simply live.
What, you expected something vaguely coherent from a 6am, no sleep post? What do I look like- a normal, functioning person? I hope not, such assumptions will find you sadly taken.
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Oh mio Dio, grazia plana. Molto gratie!
These are the moments, my little cuckold, that I wish you were here to watch.... He fucked me. He fucked me like a man... the man that you wish you could be... he fucked me like his whore, with force and taking every minion of a frustration into my pussy. I wish you were there to watch... I wish you were there to see me take it like a whore from him... for you. I want you to be watching. I want you to tell him that you can't fuck me like that.
I want you to cry to me... I want you to say you want to protect me... but most of all... I want to tell you, "I miss your submissiveness to my sweet, flowing cum........." And after he fucks me, I want you to make me pure with your vivacious little tongue.
I'll send him away now... so we can have our peace. I'll let you lick the cum from my pussy of his cock...
Are you hard yet??? Are you ready to cum? I want to see you stroke it, hard for me.... Think about if I let you put that into my throbbing wet little pussy.
If only you deserved it.
If only you hadn't disappeared.
I might let you... someday. When you've taked your punishments, and I am pleased with you again.
Because right now.... I am not. And you are in trouble, ittle boy, in trouble because you broke the rules.
But I might just let you slide....... if you're lucky.
Oh mio dio... grazia plana, molto gratie |
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I just watched Secretary again. It is one of my very favorite movies because of the strong role play that occurs between Mr. Grey and Lee. Male dominants like that really make me feel a bit submissive...
I make this obervation because I see a lack of depth in my conversations I have with potential subs. The true understanding of who someone is comes from knowing about them. Understanding what they care about or what they like is part of a tale to be told.
What is it you truly love? We can be addicted to the spiritual experience of a moment, place or object that once made us happy. Is there anything wrong to embrace that? I certainly don't think so.
However, suppression from that this thing we once loved goes away again. To dream feels good... Desires of the subconscious and conscious construing a story. A highly charged scene is one created by truly knowing someone's fantasies and fetishes complete.
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*Yawn* I'm waiting. I hate to be kept waiting. However, the things I am waiting on are uncontrollable by me or any of you. I'm waiting on school to start, I'm waiting on someone to stop grieving and get back to me, I'm waiting on life to pick up its pace... I feel stagnant right now, for personal reasons because I'm just ready to be done with all the education I've accumulated over the years. Just 6 more hours... oh, and then the PhD, but I'm taking time off before I even begin to think about that.
A house... yes, I'd like to buy a house. However, if there's anyone out there wanting to get rid of one? I've got too many ideas that need to be worked up into fruition. There's too much I look forward to, and not enough of it happening now. I know that things take time, but seriously, I've been waiting for far too long.
I guess the only solution really is for me to change the situation. However, there are some things it's just necessary to wait on... no matter how much control you have, time has its place.
How's that for a sufficiently vague rant? |
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I love reading journals of subs complaining that dommes don't write them back. It's hilarious, because some dommes are so high on their mighty horse that they think they don't even have to be commonly courteous...
Maybe it's just that I'm willing to listen to anyone rant and rave, and believe that everyone deserves to be treated with respect, until they grant you permission to use them. It is a gift, no matter what. You have to be brave to admit you want this lifestyle choice since it is seen to be so taboo by the rest of the world.
Right now, I really miss my favorite sub. He has been gone for almost three weeks now, and I feel helpless because he's shut me out of his real life. My only contact with him has been to communicate with his sister to know he's doing alright. She knows it's baring a told on me though, and I'm anxious for him to get back. When he gets back, we will celebrate with whippings and chains galore. Though, he will have some punishments for his behavior... it took him a week to let me know what had happened. His sister tells me he's been quiet.
This is my problem. When someone is suffering emotionally, I can not ignore it. I must be there for them, and help them through it. I know he's grieving, but if he'd let me in to talk about it, I know we would both feel better. It will come soon enough... But sometimes I just have little patience when I see someone I care about hurting. |
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I woke up with a horrible stiffness this morning. I need a massage. I'm feeling incredibly bitchy this Monday morning.
So, this morning I decided to check out the quality of male Doms on this site. Whoa, I'm disgusted. They are all fat, ugly, balding men! Yuck. That search just showed me that the dominant men out there are just lonely, ugly dudes who have low self esteem and want to control someone else because they lack control in their own lives.
I see myself as an educated, well-intended Mistress who offers not only beauty and brains, but the ability to listen to any sub and offer to them what they need. I can't say it enough, my philosophy is that once your submissive needs are met, the rest of your life will get better.
As a switch at times, there are very few males out there who can put me in submissive mode. None of the so called Doms on this site could ever put me there. So don't even try... I haven't the time to waste with you.
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Wow, I've been on a roll when it comes to writing as of late...
I was just thinking about my preference about collars. Honestly, I think they can look mighty silly, and unless a sub really wants to wear a collar and leash like a dog, I don't require it. What I do prefer though on the other hand, is a cock ring or piercing.
I am, myself pierced. I have a vertical hood piercing that has served me pleasure for almost two years and I love it.
What I love about a cock ring is the ownership is secretive and special. It is learned to wear comfortably throughout the day and doesn't need to be taken off, really- if fitted properly.
Also, it aids in orgasm control- it's a nice mental workout, if you ask me.
Now, I think cages and chasity devices are excellent tools when a sub is overly obsessed with the third leg swinging between his feet. To challenge mental direction, it is almost 100% positive that sensory exasterbation be a replacement for masturbation.
I'm not opposed to a sub playing with my cock, when allowed to do so. It's those that can't get their minds off the penis long enough to pull their head out of their ass and learn from the experience, that irritates me so. |
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From an email I wrote: Reposted because it sounded good.
"My philosophy on dominence and submission is to develop an understanding for who a sub is- most times, they don't even know. When I ask them to "tell me about yourself" and they respond with "What do you want to know?" I get irritated and think, wow, you even need thinking directions. However, what little they may say in one sentence, is a novel to me. There is a one second response that builds into my picture of who they are and how they seem themselves. It's enjoyable for me in the simple pleasure I take from helping people find who they are. Most kinks of the taboo nature (waterworks and sewer systems, in particular) simply do nothing for me. Though I do not object to their acts, I will not participate directly in them. I'll be more than happy to locate a Domme who does if that really makes a sub happy. However, I will not hold back in voicing my disgust for these types of activities. If you really think you should be a human toilet, if it makes you happy, then hey, who am I to stop you?
It is all very intellectual for me. Though, I have to throw my disclaimer in about confidentiality and discretion. This is not professional therapy, and the rules will be strictly inforced. You are not to intrude on my life unless I instruct you to do so, and I will not on yours. This especially pisses me off with subs who are married and write on their profiles that they are single. I know that you are trying to protect your anonymity, but lying on a profile on a BDSM site is just asking for trouble. IMHO, if they are lying on their profile, I hate to hear what else they are lying to themselves about... and others. It's okay to keep secrets from loved ones in order to protect them, however when the need for submission is met, I (would like to) think that the overall picture becomes happier."
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Ever find yourself in a purely exhausted state where your mind is going a million miles an hour and you can't imagine sleep?
That's me right now. Too much to think about- however pleasurable the thoughts are, I just can't wink. I had a wonderful night. It's exactly what I've been needing as of late.
All work and no play, doesn't make for a happy Mistress. I'm probably going to take the weekend off from life. Be back sometime next week. |
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It's not a power trip for me. Oh, no... don't shake your head at that. I am not that kind of Domme. It's mostly about kindling a fire inside my sub, learning what it is they are looking for, and finding the right experience to provide a safe environment for self exploration. It is a brave soul indeed who abandons conformity to social norms, and allows him/her self to express true desire for the perverse. |
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| Age: 21 |
| Portland,
Oregon |
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