LadyLaurel

Sometimes, phone sex can also serve a practical purpose. People call me for advice and instruction from time to time, and I'm only too happy to oblige.

If you're into BDSM, finding a life partner who's also kinky and sexually compatible can be a big challenge. Often, we kinksters find ourselves in the position of hooking up with a life partner who we love and who complements us personally on so many levels, but who is also a stranger to kink.

A partner who's game and eager to please may be willing to learn the ropes and indulge us, but if you're submissive, how do you teach dominance? All too often, I hear about women who desperately want to please their kinky, submissive boyfriends and husbands, but just don't know where to start. It takes confidence to dominate, as well as skill and some good ideas.

This is why one of the services I offer is dominance training for women. I chat with both of you in turn, then assist with a scene from the phone. We can do this on speakerphone, or she can talk to me while dominating you (this works especially well with a headset). If either of you aren't comfortable having me present during a session, I'm happy to offer pre and post-scene advice and instruction as well.

In these sessions, I focus on teaching the basics of BDSM and on helping women discover the joys of dominance for themselves. Because women are strongly socialized to be submissive and deferential - and to feel a certain amount of shame about our own sexual pleasure - many women need a confident, understanding voice of encouragement in order to venture into this territory. This can break the ice and help her overcome her inhibitions.

But I don't truly feel I've done a good job until I can teach a woman to find enough of her own confident power to be able to truly use her man's body and efforts - under her command - to satisfy her own desires. This can be a long journey for some women, but one that's always worth the time and effort. A woman who has true confidence in sexual pleasure will bring that same fearless drive and self-worth into everything she does. And what (straight) male sub won't be delighted with a woman who knows how to use him for her own pleasure?

Devout, submissive males are such a gift to women. There are so many guys out there who are happy to be lazy and are just in it for their own enjoyment. But if you have a submissive man who's thrilled to let you use his cock as your personal masturbation toy or give you head until his jaw is sore, count your blessings and take advantage! Make him use toys on you and take care of his own orgasm, if you feel he deserves one. Make his pleasure subservient to your own and discover how easy it suddenly becomes for both of you to have the most fulfilling sexual encounters of your life.

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Is it just me, or are forced bi fantasies bigger than ever these days? As a nerdy girl who used to devour (and write!) heaps of BDSM slash fiction, you'll hear no complaints from me, but I do think the popularity of these scenarios is interesting.

I suspect that the appeal of forced bi is different for each male submissive you'll talk to. Some may be legitimately bisexual, of course, and may feel some sense of reluctance or shame about their same-sex leanings. But that's the bliss of submission, of course: you may enjoy it, but you'll be doing it for your mistress's pleasure! And make no mistake, little boys, it does please this mistress.

For some, though, the act may be distasteful and that's precisely what's hot about it. Performing a sexual act you take no pleasure in, one that's still highly stigmatized for straight men, displays a truly deep level of submission to Mistress's whims.

The kind of appeal I find most interesting, though, is the genderfuck aspect, or, as Dan Savage would say, the "totemic" significance of having a real dick fuck you. This sort of thing can transcend sexual orientation; it doesn't matter who your partner is, what matters is that you're being fucked like a little bitch and your body used to pleasure a cock. Hot.