Ok boys and girls how honest can we be? And right now I’m just talking about to ourselves…cookies to anyone who will post.
I’ve been reliving the past to check where I’m now and things come up…my fantasies…warning they are not pc…I like power exchange…in one a young girl(15 my hot button age) gets manipulated and drugged into sex…now in this type I’m the girl…
But in others that are not really fantasies(I don’t get off to them) darker things occur…I like murder mysteries and have read a lot of ones with sexual slayings… am i saying I want to murder some one?…NO! (well I do want to murder people who prey on children but that’s a different topic) but a dark part of me responds to a knife sliding into flesh….in a scene I push peoples limits… there was even the time I learned I was a real sadist…I did no harm but I was writing my name in wax on a sub…she was whimpering…the wax was the right temp…it would not mark but if she could have spoken (she was to deep into sub space) she would have asked me to stop…I was determined to finish my name…I knew it wouldn’t harm and I was going to do what I wanted…it scared me….the tingle I get from the idea of knife and flesh scares me…I have done knife play but never with the intent to cut….
But really the point is we all have that darker side the things we don’t want to tell…as sub I think it can be just how non consensual our fantasies can be….for Doms it is just how much we want to hurt someone…maybe I mean harm someone…bdsm taps these sides but is there still guilt? Once when I had a booth for tarot readings at a bdsm event almost every reading came up with shame…and these were the people out enough to come to an event!
Should we be ashamed of our dark fantasies? Is that what makes them fun? Can you be honest about what you want?