immoralrestraint was born in the highlands of scottish malt, four hundred years ago. in 1821, he successfully defeated an invading martian army with a candlestick and a gassy cow. the following year, he married every man, woman and d in palestine and subsequently impregnated thailand.
during the first world war, he led a crack team of mermaid commandos to reclaim the lost city of atlantis. using pilfered dinosaur technology, strengthened by the blood of virgins, he teleported the sunken city to the exact mid point between heaven and hell, so that from then until eternity, it's inhabitants would enjoy cool days and warm nights.
throughout the early 1900s, he invented a number of modern conveniences, including the horse-drawn lavatory, the psychic-powered global positioning device and the tablet pc (which was deemed impractical without a supporting internet. it was later modified into the first desktop computer).
by 2012, immoralrestraint was getting just a tad tired, so he took a nap. his complete profile can be found at http://bit.ly/immoralrestraint
after having been away from collar for more than four years...
yup. it's still a dump.
i love how people say things like "i'm not racist, but i'm not into XXXX".
look, dumbshit. what do you think racism is? when you express an opinion on race, what you're expressing is a racial bias, and that, my dear, is racism.
now, there's nothing wrong with a little racism. everyone's a little bit racist. some people are a lot racist. and while i think that's bad, there's nothing stopping you from being that either.
what gets me riled up is people who say clearly racist things, but then couch it in some stupid disclaimer like "but i'm not racist", as if just saying the words make it true. the "but" is about as useful as those stupid "thou shalt not infringe my pervy internet copyrights or i shall be forced to call my paralegal friend who really can't do shit about it" things that people put on their profiles.
you're a racist. be embarrassed about it. be proud of it. make excuses for it. whatever. just don't tell yourself you aren't when you are.
i'm a racist. i don't want to be, but until we get a truly level playing field (or until the field tips in my favour), i'm not inclined to stop being racist.
collarme used to be a cesspool but now it's managed to sink so much deeper. pimps, whores and scams. don't even know why i bother checking in here, tbh. oh well, back to that other site where people at least pretend to be interesting.
ah. to suffer fools.
what is it about singaporeans that make them such giant racists? i personally don't have a big problem with that. everyone's a little bit racist, surely. i know i am. i also know why i am the way i am.
but every once in a while (and by once in a while, i mean a good three quarters of you dumbshits) you'll stumble across one who is so caught up in vitriol, to self-absorbed to be objective, and quite possibly too stupid to recognise the difference.
how very disappointing, people. how very disappointing indeed.
mission accomplished.
the moral of the story? this is why we have a community. if you fuck with my friends, if you fuck with the newbies, if you fuck with the community, i will come and fucking rip you a new asshole.
user kongdom's photo is stolen from a friend of mine. she doesn't know him and wants him to take it down. if he is in contact with you, please tell him that we want that photo removed.
your assistance is very much appreciated. lets keep our community clear of these scumbags.
more dumbshits. if you're going to create a fake profile to get some masturbation material, don't use images that can be reverse searched.
right click + copy image location, then throw it into google image search = got ya, you lying pea-dicked cocksucker!
you're welcome.
welcome to collarme, where you can have all your fantasies fulfilled... for a price... by professional amateurs.
welcome to the new home of internet prostitution, folks. welcome.
oh dear lord. so my little cousin comes up to me and starts gushing about some new book she's heard about... you might have heard of it, 50 shades of grey.
now. lets put this in context. she's fifteen and a twi-hard, and these two things make a whole lot of difference.
50 shades is basically twi-fag fanfic, written collaboratively by a bunch of twi-fags who wouldn't know literature from furniture. twilight was a nicely printed stack of toilet paper, written by a hack of an author with next to no fucking taste. so what would you call the derivative of that, sewn together on the internet, by some grubby trollop who just happened to have a warped view of what kink is?
worse. like twilight, 50 shades appears written for, and marketed to, the same demographic. mainstream pop culture wannabees with a skew toward young women.
how young, you ask? well, apparently, too young.
now, i've had the birds and bees conversation with my cousin - probably a more frank conversation than the one she got from her parents, or her siblings. i say this only to point out that i'm not exactly prudish talking about sex.
but kink is a whole different kettle of fish. it's a game, premised upon a very real illusion of power and powerlessness. it is an adult game, with adult nuances. you don't market this shit to kids, because for every one who will grasp the differences between fantasy and reality, there are dozens who won't.
and that's where people get hurt. that's not a hypothesis. that's the goddamn truth. it's happening, and we're let it happen. 50 shades is not only more poorly written than twilight, it's downright dangerous.
now i'm going to have to go find a way to explain what the damn book is about to a minor, and do it in a way that will hopefully stave off her premature exploration of the damned subject matter.
thanks, assholes. thank you very much. i hope you both choke to death on your ill deserved "success".
two decades later, i'm still in love with tori amos. and it really does make you think, don't it? all her great albums come after some sort of personal tragedy. those that didn't (scarlet's walk, strange little girls, etc) aren't really all that great.
"We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat. And we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be! We all know things are bad. Worse than bad, they're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out any more. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials, and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone." Well, I'm not going to leave you alone. I want you to get mad!"
- "Howard Beale"
i've said it before, i'll say it again. google image search and tineye are amazing tools. use 'em.
collarme tools are funny. i'm particularly tickled by the trolls with fake profiles complaining about all the fake profiles. like, seriously. obvious, much?
as of today, i'm only looking for white women. all you asian (chinese, malay, indian, non-white australians) stay the fuck away.
the only exception to this rule, is if you understand the inside joke, and know why the above statement is not a "preference" but "racism".
and yes, i'm calling you out, dumbcunt.
is anyone else's spidersenses tingling from the sudden influx of profiles claiming to be femme subs from singapore?
a. lots of personal information including work and family situation.
b. lots of photos, mostly happy snaps with loads of OTHER people in them.
c. introductions tend to include some interesting caveats.
it looks like the scam machine is evolving, making use of an almost-human tone to entice victims. they are, however, still too easy to spot, tending towards indiscretion as a means to attract. the caveats (thrown in to add some element of entirely expected human caution), where they appear, seem trivial in comparison to the disclosure.
the verdict?
FAKE
okay. it's time for a refresher. as little as i care what happens to you random perverts, i care even less about the fuckers who exploit all you honest, hardworking dumbfucks. so without further ado, i present...
how to spot a scammer: immoralrestraint's three point guide
wait. there are scammers here? surprised? i'm not. its common wisdom that fools and their money are quickly parted. and while most of you perverts are cheapasses (you're here because it's free, no?), the sheer number of foolish perverts make this a profitable endeavour.
in case you're still scratching your head waiting for an answer to the above question - yes, there are scammers here.
what's the scam? information. personal information can be sold to spam lists, or in some extreme cases, used as leverage in blackmail. also bank information, credit card numbers and the like. i'm sure even you can figure out why someone might want that stuff.
how do they get this information? you give it to them, stupid. most obviously, when you accept an offer to chat, you're surrendering your email information and whatever personal information you've put onto your profile.
the same applies when you blindly sign up for membership at other sites - often requiring your credit card information for "age checks" or similar.
great. how will i ever be able to tell the difference between the scammers and real people?
this is why you apply the immoralrestraint's three point guide!
1. the real human test: perverts are people too, and you can expect them to talk and behave like you do. scammers and fakes are not human. they'll do stupid things like use "real" names as their username, or have lots of photos that they've stolen off someone else's facebook profile, just to appear "human". they'll also try to use natural language. but most of the time, all this information won't add up logically (because they're fake, stupid).
if they sound/look too good to be true, or if they seem a little too "easy", you should probably have the good sense to be suspicious. this is the first warning sign.
2. the first mover test: a fake will offer contact information, sometimes unsolicited, in an attempt to get YOUR information. "i'm going away so email me me at" or "i don't like exchanging messages here so add me on msn" is usually a pretext to confirm you're a real (and clearly stupid) person. from there, they'll probably redirect you to another site to "view photos" or "video chat" or something to that effect.
this is the second warning sign, and if they also trip the first warning sign, you're most likely talking to a scammer.
if you're still not sure, and i'm sure you are, because you're so horny your brain has stopped working, you should apply the third and final test.
3. the time test: real people take time to get to know you. scammers, fakes and bots don't - you're worth anywhere between $20 to $100 to them, so the quicker they get you to surrender the information, the more money they make. they'll try to close in the first or second message.
sometimes, if they think they're close, they might spend a bit more time to butter you up, but in general, there are more, stupider, people out there and they won't waste their time. they will even tell you that you're wasting their time, just so you'll panic a little and give in. you're not THAT stupid, are you?
if you've bothered to read and understand the above, congratulations. you are now official a little less stupid than you were before.
