We live and learn something new everyday

The word MAYBE can have so many meanings, so I guess time and patience is called for!

Oh dear lord what a day today! I am not a lover of shopping as i see it as a chore but now and then it is nice just to potter and have a look. My late Master/Husband never pottered, His theory was, make your list, get what you need and get the hell out of there! He was a total nightmare too cos i would put things in the basket/trolley and if He thought it wasnt suitable or i didnt really need it, it would go back on the shelf! How i used to mutter and curse under my breath and oh how He would make me jump by pressing the remote that controlled the vibrator up my ass cos He could for His amusement . Today i have come to the conclusion that children are worse than the Dom/Master as i was the one putting things back and saying 'really??? you want this or that?? and i think not missy you do not neeeeeeeeed it'.  And the looks i got when i told the little darling who isnt quite 4 that if you dont behave i am gonna truss you up like a chicken and bloody well auction you off to the lowest bidder!!!  And the clever little mare's remark, ' really old girl, i dont think so cos you cant catch me!' How rude, how bloody rude but it did make me laugh cos she was right i wouldnt beable to catch her xxxxxx

I am fortunate to have 2 very dear subbie blokies as friends on here. They are lovely and i just love to tease them!  Hopefully one day soon they will have a Mistress cos they would make a good sub for a Domme who has the ability and patience to teach and explore with them, xxx

Oh jeus wept! This damn stormy weather needs to bugger off

It is bad enough having to put up with the blessed thunder but a headache too???? come on you have got to be joking!!!!

You bugger mister Bondageworks!!! you have jinxed me and sent the sodding thunderstorm this way!!!! Oh how rude as you know i dont like them. Me thinks if it gets much closer i am off to hide like the chicken shit i am hahahaha xxxxxx

Holy crap am i a wuss! lol

There isnt really much in life that makes me run for cover and hide except for  the sound of the crack of a bull whip and thunder has me shaking. This morning the thunder won cos i hid in my bed under the duvet praying for it to stop lololol  I love the lightening but the noise when it rumbles, bangs and at times can shake the house is my worst nightmare.  Hmmm maybe not my worst nightmare as i do have a fear of the dark and can scare the hell out of myself thinking that there is someone in the house or at times thinking i have seen something/someone that isnt there. Oh well at least it has now stopped and i can laugh lolololol

What a way to start the day, i guess i best have another coffee, 2 just isnt enough this morning xxxx

Very tired, grumpy and bad tempered today!  Please do not push my buttons to see how far i will go before i would lose it as i can assure you it wouldnt take long

Well my new iphone arrived the other day and it has taken me until today and with the help of my daughter to set it up! Well it is nearly set up, i have just found out that you have to activate the damn thing by ringing O2 and that it just doesnt magically do itself!

Oh dear lord if my late Master could see me now He would be pulling His hair out and i can hear Him now telling me to put the phone down and walk away, and that He would sort it when He got home. He would also remind me that patience is a virtue and dont even think about launching the phone at the wall cos i cant get it to work. Hmmm He knew me too well lolololol

I so miss the good times we had together x

The more i look at the pics of the beautiful work that can be achieved with rope, the more fascinated i am becoming. These people are so talented and must have very artistic minds as well as tremendous amount of patience as i am sure it can take a while to do. How do they know where to put the knots in the exact spot to cause maximum effect??? Wow mind blowing, you have my total respect x

Have decided to keep my hair long after seeing a pic of where the hair had been incorporated into rope work, absolutely amazing! I would love to learn more and also experience this!

Please can someone tell me when this site is gonna get back to normal??? If you are not being booted off you then have to try and reconnect. Getting annoyed at being redirected and not able to access the site!!!!

So off to bed i went for a nap, and see if the swelling in my knee would go down. Now once the pain meds kick in i go off like a baby and i dont hear or am aware of anything! So now i need the loo, so off i go not really aware of my surroundings but never the less in the right direction when from nowhere comes a voice saying 'and where do you think you are going?' Holy crap talk about freeze on the spot and pray you dont piss yourself when you realise that you usually live alone and that i dont have a Dom!!! and it is a small persons voice, infact my 4 year old grand daughter lololol x

Oh dear lord, i should really find myself something to do. After recieving a call from O2 telling me i was eligible for an upgrade and that they had some fantastic deals i decided to go have a look. I am not a gadget person so i am very happy to have just a bog standard Nokia, as long as i can make and recieve calls and texts, i am a happy bunny! At this point as i am scrowling along quite nicely, the daughter comes in and says ' Mum just get with the times and get yourself an iphone!' Holy shit was she serious???? Indeed she was cos now on wed my new iphone 5 is coming!!!!! lololol I am such a walk over, something me thinks i need to work on x

I really love the new song by First Aid Kit, not sure what it is called but it is really good. I thought at first it was Lana Del Ray, thats one amazing lady and i love her work but told by the daughter in that tone they always use when us oldies get things wrong oh and not forgetting the roll of the eyes, that it is a new group and i wouldnt have thought 'Mother' you would hear it as you listen to the crappy radio stations lololol How rude, that blessed girl needs a back hander, shame i cant do it.

How can pain be pleasure, holy crap the pain i am in trust me is in no way pleasureable! The thought of being spanked, flogged, paddled and even caned makes me wanna wet myself with enjoyment but goddamn bone pain is certainly a killer.

Oh well i best have some chocolate and hopefully i will feel better lolololol

Oh lr5sub you do make me laugh, bless ya. One day my dear boy a Mistress will come along and dear lord you will be in so much trouble for your lack of control. It might not be chastity she uses but the opossite and your poor cock will drop off ya bad lad lololol

Thankyou so much for making me smile, you are a lovely guy and i wish someone special would come along and take you on xxxxxxx

Yay i am home!

Mind you it seems quite strange as it is very quiet and for nearly 2 weeks it has been noisey and very busy. Not that i am complaining lol, well maybe a little as i have been ordered to bed and to stay there by my daughter!!!! How rude hahaha I guess i should be grateful that i have been allowed to have my laptop.

So now the results from this fall is KingsMill Care Centre cant do anything for me but have now been referred to QMC which is a teaching hospital and are more likely to solve the problem i have. They did before so i guess i should have asked to have been referred there in the first place.

New medication regime seems to be working but is still in the earlier stages, but fingers crossed.

And as for me well stepping out of the box i have looked in and seen many faults on my part but also alot from others too. So now it is time for tiny baby steps and see what happens and where they will lead.......

Tired.com  only another day and i will be home from hospital and can sleep in my own bed! Oh how i miss you so much my wonderful comfy bed lol

Spending time just resting plus the support of my family and very close friends, my mind is clearing and am i starting to see the real me that has been kept locked inside for so long and had become clouded by people who thought they knew what was best for me. Well they didnt and it seems it was what was best for them in a very selfish and spiteful way so as to control me. You do not need to be cruel or sadistic to control me, to get me to serve and pleasure or to hand my submission over and i certainly dont need to be broken to be a good sub.

To say i am in hospital i certainly slept well for the first time in ages!

Yet another fall helped by the hound knocking me down the stairs yesterday morning. Nothing broken thank goodness but my back and knee is really shot to fuck now! I had to be catherized cos i cant stand or move too well to get on then bed pan and it would also appear i have lost a little bladder control. Temporary i am told but hey ho. Well at times my mind can sometimes wander and i started to chuckle to myself, it could have been the drugs but who knows? Being cathertised, would it be classed as medical play or watersports? Oh i so wanted to ask the nurse but she didnt seem the type to ask lolololol

No longer looking.

I have decided to walk away from bdsm for a while.  Maybe my ex Dom was right i did not have anything to give him any more. Once the seed was planted i guess it has started to grow. But then again maybe everything that i had, had already been taken from me and i had nothing left what was of any use.

For 15 years i have been around and met many people in real life both Dom and sub as i once frequented the Fetish Fayres, munches and private parties. There are a few on here who know me, not through playing around,  but through socialising with them. These people range from really sadistic bastards to the more soft and gentle approach but each and everyone of them have my respect. This i cannot say about some people i have chatted to over the past few months and planted doubts in my mind and knocked my confidence to an all time low.

If i should pop on line please feel free to say hello, there are some great people i chat to on here and would love to continue doing so,

I wish you all well and lots of luck with your search, stay safe xxx

What is it with people  thinking because they are hidden behind a computer screen name they can be rude, nasty and interferring?

2 Days ago i recieve a message from a sub basicly ripping me a new arsehole for taking her Dom! I have never heard of this sub and had no knowledge of her whilst chatting to this Dom, as far as He was concerned it was over and way in the past.

Every Dom that i have or will ever chat to are asked the same question and that is are you married or in a relationship either vanilla or bdsm as i dont want no crazy bint after me!    If they say they are chatting with other porential subs i will then tell them that i am not for them and will not compete for Him with another sub. I have always stated this and i mean it.

This sub continued with personal things about me that has nothing to do with her and should never have been passed on. When i chat with someone i should beable to think i can trust them not to go sharing things about me to others. Yes stupid and niave i hear being screamed. This person has now disappeared from this site, not that i am surprise as they are sad gutless idiots who have nothing else better to do than behave like a spiteful child. If i could name and shame i would but you are not allowed to do that on CM plus it would be a childish act on my part.

I dont trust easily and this certainly hasnt helped so if you wish to chat to me by all means do so but be honest, it isnt hard to do.

sub males please note

Although i am flattered by the attention you give me i am a sub not a Domme. There would be nothing better than having a sex slave who would fuck me night and day, oh what a thought hmmm. To lick my feet or boots!!! dear lord go anywhere near my feet and wether you are sub or Dom you would have your ball bags kicked up around your neck, i do not do feet!!! I couldnt Dom my way out of a paer bag, least of all another person and i also lack direction at the best of time. At the moment i am lost and needing guidance myself and i can assure you not even my Sat Nav has found me the right path.

Once again, i am a sub and not a Domme, yes i will chat as a friend but i will not now or ever Dom you or even consider being your Mistress. I wish you all luck in your search as i know it isnt easy xx

God damn Virgin Media, how the hell can they lose your IP address??? Its taken them 2hrs to sort the blessed problem!!!!!

OMG for the first time in 4 days i have got dressed!!! Holy crap wearing undies is soooooooooooo not right lololol. Oh well never mind, family duties call x

Oh dear lord what is the matter with me today??? I neeeeed more coffee to get me going as i have no up and go in me lololol. Well i best go get the kettle on and have another  lololol

:) Happy :) Happy :) Happy :) ME :) :)

New router in place and my computer finally fixed, i am a happy bunny again! lol

Please note,

If i do not answer straight away, usually it is because my computer has logged me in and i havent realised or i am actually away from the computer. I am not being rude and will answer as soon as i see your message.

Have a great day! x

Someone sent me these messages today and if i could name and shame i would. But on CM you are not allowed to do that

His message begins 

are you here trying to get kinky sex? or are you here to submit? or just feel like shit and desperately want some affection and attention?

id like to help out, and yes I mean help out not meet, fuck you, and vanish.

ill want to meet for a drink and chat about what you can do for me. if youre serious about submitting?

My reply

Well thats one way of putting it.

Are you always this blunt?? and trust me i have heard it all before about not vanishing and they do.

I spent a whole weekend after chatting for a little while etc and we had a great time, very well matched etc and both wanting to continue.

He left i never heard anything again until he popped up with a new screen name and tried it on as he had forgotton mine

A little information

I was a 24/7 slave up until 5 years ago, unfortunately my Master/Husband passed away from cancer

So yes i am very serious about submitting and not just to fuck around!

His reply

I recieve the following in a message today, oh the amusement!!!

Hi, i am local and want be your dom. I would like pics of you as your profile is bare and we can go from there.

And my reply as follows

Let me get this straight, you want to be my Dom? Well in answer to that is we dont always get what we want!

Next you are local? Well your profile lists as UK so you could be anywhere

My pic as profile is bare? Oh dear man, before you make such demands, i suggest you put something more in your profile and make me want to send you pictures

Finally, i would suggest you learn manners and respect, then come back and maybe, just maybe we will chat!

I may be sub but i am not a goddamn door mat!!!!!

How anyone can live or even work day in and day out in a city is beyond me.

Firstly the traffic, omg where does it all come from???  Then parking, wtf or should i say where???? And then you have the one way system, dont fuck up on them cos you then end up the other end of the city that you dont want or need to be.

I am not ever going back into Nottingham for a very long time!

The sun maybe shining but holy crap it is still cold!

Question

Why do people leave a message for you to answer but when you do their account no longer exists?  3 times this has happened over the past couple of days.

How strange!

Oh why oh why do i find it hard to say NO and mean it!  I am such a pushover and i guess i will never change lololol

Feeling very tired and emotional today. I so miss routine and guidance in my life......

Why is it no matter how tired you are, sometimes you just dont seem to be able to drop off???

I will no longer compete or chase after someone/thing no matter how much i want or need to. No longer the fool and never will i be anyone's second choice. If you are already chatting with other subs then you best keep on chatting to them. Dont come back to me when you have realised the grass isnt greener with them.

Yes i have been a total fool, but no more as not one person on this site is worth my time or effort any more!

The days are long and the nights are even longer!

Its a really bad crappy day today, i shouldnt have bothered getting up! Maybe if i crawled into a corner and curled up and died  nobody would miss me and maybe yes maybe i would be better off dead  than this wank life i live

Please remember this before you message me or are messaging me

I do not play around, do casual or one off's. Ensure that you word youe messages in a respectful manner or yes as 1 Dom found i can be rude.

I am polite and very easy going until you step over the disrespectful and bad manners line.

You have been warned xxx

Its been a little while since i have entered anything into my journal, but i have decided today to do so.

I am tired of people being rude and insulting towards me. Lets get things straight once and for all, i NEVER message a Dom first but Always politely answer any i recieve.

I am Never rude, insulting or do i judge a person on how they look, so what gives you the right to do so at me.

My profile states i am FAT, yes overweight, plus size, so why the hell if that is not what you desire do you message me and then make insulting remarks?

I do not class myself as a BBW as i do not like the term, it is pure and simple i am a fat sub and thats that. Yes it is partly my fault i am the size i am at the moment but there is also a very good reasons why it isnt all my fault.

My profile also states that i am not interested in married me but still you message me, stop it, go learn to control the wife.

Being FAT has NEVER EVER stopped me being a good sub, so dont you dare judge me without getting to know me,

I could be rude and tell alot of Doms on here who think they are gods and amazing looking to go put a paper bag over your heads, but i dont as i have been taught that you dont judge a person by their looks, I so want to tell you that if you put a paper bag over your head you might have a better chance at getting a sub, but i DONT as i am not rude or insulting.

So if you message me remember this, have respect and manners it costs nothing and that you messaged me not the other way around.

A True Dom/Master

He found me when i was lost.

He doesnt bully me - He treasures me.

He doesnt hurt me - He protects me.

He doesnt belittle me - He respects me.

He doesnt humilate me - He takes care of me.

He doesnt try to change me - He guides me.

He didnt demand my submission, but He has it completely!

Warning!

Bitching and Whining is not Permitted

But Moaning and Groaning is Fine!

Thankyou Master C for encouraging me to try and reinstate my old profile. It is so good to be back as myself and not feel as if i am hiding behind a different name. I am happy and smiling again which i havent done much of lately. So now the plan is to move forward and see where my path of submission takes me! Oh the excitement and anticipation, i cant wait!!!!

Yay i have been able to access my account after being made to get rid of it last year by my ex Dom!  I will now be using this account instead of the other one i have. I have been honeyspride for nearly 15 years and will remain so, and never again will i delete it for anyone!!!!

Cant wait for tomorrow, only 3 service users to assist and then am finished for the day to go out with the most important person in my life! I am so glad i dont have to dress up lolololol i love the colour pink but not the blessed outfit i have been asked to wear hahahaha

 oh so very amused!

Oh lordy, tis not good to curl up on the sofa after a weekend of long hours at work, I never fall asleep at 10.15pm, i am now wide awake!!!!

I would like to thank all the Dom's who have sent me messages, your words of encouragement is very much appreciated. I know things will get better and that time heals and yes i will be back to my outgoing self. But for now the stuffing has been knocked out of me and the twinkle in my eyes are gone. What these players dont realise is that not all of us are hard centred or dont give a toss and can move onto another one. Some of us are genuine with real feelings and emotions!

Off to work i go still feeling heavy hearted and low in self esteem. Not a good place to be as my in my job you have to smile. be happy and take on board and deal with other people's problems or issues. Wish i could just go back to bed!

Rejection

How many times can a person take rejection? How many times does a person have to listen to 'i think you are a lovely person, but you are not for me?' How many more times does a person have to hurt and humilate me before i learn????? Hurting very much and the wounds are deep!!!

Viral infection - i mean what the hell is that? Well it is something that cant be seen but can be felt,  and oh yeah i can feel it alright. Every god damn muscle and joint aches for no apparent reason! Oh and the best thing of all, it cant be treated with anything other than plenty of fluids and rest! I know i like my bed, but not this damn much i dont!

All i can say is ooooooh my god i am gonna die! My first weekend off in ages and i have an upset tummy!!!! I just give up

I see myself as a crayon, I may not be your favourite colour, but i know some day, you will need me to complete your picture!

Hmm i need to learn to say NO and mean it, for goodness sake. Too many people taking advantage me thinks!

A pretty face means nothing if you have an ugly heart!

Hmmm  Do you ever wish that you could turn the clock back? I wish i could as i have let slip by probably something that would have in time turned into something wonderful and now i am afraid to make the first move in case of being rejected!

Its amazing how you can go to hospital with one problem and then find out there are other issues too. So maybe the root of all evil has been diagnoised and i will get back to my old self. Who would have thought shrinking red blood cells could make you feel so ill  and totally frustrated as no one has picked up on it for months!

All i can say is roll on monday when i get a day off! The phone will be off, the door firmly bolted and  the curtains closed as i am gonna stay in my bed all day and do nothing. No more being at everyone's beck and call and no more being oh so nice when all you want to do is ring their bloody necks! lololololol

After a long crappy shitty day i can justify eating choclate! Oh and it all starts again in the morning at 7am, god give me strength!!!!

Oh why did i agree to work my weekend off ??? And the worst bit is that i agreed to work the evening shift!!!! One day i will learn to say NO lolololololol Oh well i guess this calls for another mug of coffee x

Just a thought

The trouble with naked dancing is that, not everything stops when the music does! lololol

Hmm for once an easy day at work and given the afternoon off! Must have done something right lololol. So off i went to the hairdressers and have had my hair cropped short and coloured. yay i feel good!

Good morning to one and all. i trust all is well with everyone. I am now back after a break away x

Never expect, Never assume, Never ask and Never demand. Because if it is meant to be, it will happen, the way you want things to be!

Wow it seems i have been away ages but it has olny been 10 days! Have just got back from a surprise holiday paid for by the kids! That sneaky daughter had packed my case and it was already for me when the taxi picked me up, as was my passport, tickets and oh yes holiday money which i might add she had gotton out of my bank!!!!! Had a great time, total relaxation and am now ready for work on monday.

Have had a lovely day with family today, lots of fun all topped off with a homemade choccie birthday cake - total heaven! 

Well the day has finally arrived and all i can say is 'Happy Birthday' to me, another year older but still non the wiser for it!

Hmmm well it is now only 3 days to go and counting i have been informed by my wonderful brat of a daughter! It is bad enough when people say 'the clock is ticking' but by your own child????  Where did i go wrong lololol

Hmmm - only 4 more days to go!!!!!!!!

A little verse for Valentines Day

Roses are red, nuts are brown. Skirts are up and pants are down. When it is stiff, stick it in. God never said sex was a sin!

I came across this and i thought i would share it as i think we all can relate to this at some point in our lives:

I've made mistakes in my life.  I've let people take advantage of me, and i accepted way less than i deserve.  But, i've learned through my bad choices and even though there are some things i can never get back or people who will never be sorry, I'll know better next time and i wont settle for anything less than i deserve!

Hmmm have woken up with a pounding headache and now cant sleep

Not a happy bunny today as was woken at 4am by a pleading phone call from my son in law! After the initial omg what is wrong and the heart stops pounding moment, i heard him babble that he needed me to come over to the house as my pyscho daughter had cuffed one hand to the bed and had cuffed and put spreader bars on his ankles!   Oh and did i have a spare key for the cuffs?  Now i know my daughter would make a fantastic Domme and has always had a Dominant streak in her, but she has always maintained that she has no interests in bdsm whats so ever!!! By now the son in law is pleading as well as cursing as he needed to go to the loo. So being the nice mummy i am, although hacked off from being woken up i went to the house. My daughter couldnt believe he had actually rung me as he is actually quite prudish plus he was stark bollock naked she told me, and was still adamant she was not letting him loose lolololol. When asked where she had got the cuffs etc she innocently said, 'oh mother they are yours and yes i do know where you keep your stuff!'  I just shook my head and laughed and went upstairs to a rather embarressed son in law to let him free. Oh lordy was there fireworks when he was let loose lololololol. I think he will think twice before pissing her off and then daring her to do anything again, as for me, my kit bag has now got a new hiding place! hahahaha

Thought of the day:

There are no limitations in what you can do ...... Except ... the limitations of your mind!

I just had to laugh at this lol

The cunt is the best rehab centre in the world. Even the most violent and hardest prick comes out soft, humble, reduced in size and a dribbling mess! 

What  a week!!!!  I started my new job earlier this week as a community carer, i did say i would never go back into caring as i get too involved and upset at times when i know that someone needs more care but there is no alledged funding for them to have any more.  For data protection i will call my service user Mr.Smith (god love him, he is such a character) 83 very well to do gentleman and very fraile. His first words were, 'at last someone with a bit of meat on them!' oh my god did i nearly die. His wife was so embaressed and said it wasnt like him at all. I laughed and told her not to worry as i am not easily shocked or offended. We discussed his care and i then helped him get washed and dressed, as i bent down to put his socks and slippers on he said ' i like well padded bottoms as they are most enjoyable to squeeze and spank, my wife never did understand'. I turned round and said to him, Mr.Smith if you were 30 years younger i would have let you spank me! After that he never said another word about the comment he made but and as i left he winked and said i was a breathe of fresh air and had made his day. I got a phone call this morning from his wife to say that he had unfortunately passed away but wanted to thank me for all i had done for them both but  especially for making him smile and giving him the twinkle back in his eyes the last few days.

Lana Del Rey - Born to Die,   love this song!

Whats the difference between Kinky and Assault? Depends which cheek you slap! lol

something silly but it made me smile

2 4 6 8 feeling horny and i just cant wait ...... 3 5 7 9 i want your body next to mine .......... a b c d come and lay on top of me ........ u v w x text me when you feel like sex!  lol

What started off as a really good day is now turning out to be most annoying a frustrating. I have the patience of a saint usually but am now slowly losing the plot with Virgin Media as i am tired of hearing we realise there is a problem with your connection but have you tired this solution or have you tried that one oh and the latest if you pay an extra £10 per month and give us access to your computer remotely we can go in and fix any problems you may be having. i think not! time to change providers me thinks

a little humour for a sunday morning

Twinkle twinkle little WHORE, get on your knees and suck some more! Twinkle twinkle little SLUT, scream some more and i'll fuck your butt! hahahaha such filth but ooooooh yes please

Did you know that Sex is now classed as a misdemeanor............... the more you miss...... da meaner ya get! hahahaha xxxxx

Something to think about

In our life time, the average person eats 8 spiders when they are asleep!!!! So the next time you get that funny feeling in your throat, you now know why..... hahahaha

hmmm not impressed with the cold weather!!!!!  maybe i might go back to bed and hibernate for a bit longer lol

Well my pot is off my ankle and i must say although it is good the blessed thing is off, it is well strange lol! A few weeks of physio and i will be as good as new so i am told yay! Now all i have to do is sort Virgin Media out as i have crap connection  and the router has given up the ghost!!!!! Bring it on i say hahahaha - bugger that is fighting mode and i dont do that cos i am a good girl lololol

nosey buggers!!!! - whats the matter, has the cat got ya tongue?????

 Everyone wants happiness and nobody wants pain. But how can you make a rainbow without any rain?<3

Good morning!

Hmmmm what to do today one asks oneself???? No little screaming rugrats! No family to please! and certainly no smiling through gripped teeth and being nice when all you want to do is say what you think lololololol Yes i can see it is gonna be a nice peaceful day and i get to choose what i want to do for once!

I thought i might have been excused today from family activities but it would seem not! So now for an afternoon of smiling through grit teeth and the urge not to wrap my crutches round the badly behaved brats necks who are worse than they usually are! Were we like that when we were kids???

Have had a wonderful quiet day of relaxation and no food, oh lordy i dont think i will eat for a month after the christmas dinner my daughter made yesterday! Not that i ate alot but i ate things i shouldnt that make me ill, and yes i do know better but hey its once a year and i thoroughly enjoyed myself. My main pressie from my daughter didnt arrive but from the piccie i cant wait to try out my new flogger in the new year - bless her heart 

Merry Christmas to one and all xxxxxx

Didnt have the best of starts today as in pain with my ankle, i am told no pain no gain and maybe my ankle is healing as to why it hurts more today than it has been. I have the best kids and baby grand daughter ever, they popped in and have hoovered and changed my bedding bless them. My son in law says you have to have clean bedding in case santa wants to stay and empty his sack - how rude!!!!!! lolololol just got to love him xxxxx

Note to oneself

Never gloat to a Domme what a good subbie you are by being organised and all sorted for christmas as i have just spent the blessed afternoon wrapping pressies for Mz Maddi!!!!! what a cheek is all i can say lol

Well i have heard it all and had a really good giggle when told i needed locking up for my own safety!!!!!. I got all excited at the thought and said that was fine and didnt mind the puppy cage but was there any chance  santa could bring me the deluxe cage instead,  oh lordy the look on their faces hahahahaha.

less than 8hrs since i had the injection and i have the biggest black/purple bruise on my tummy, i never realise that such a little prick could do that lololol oh and it blessed well hurts too!!!!

hmmm, i have decided i dont like needles especially when they get stuck in your tummy with what seems like an endless supply of liquid being pumped in lololol

For once something has gone right and i am one happy bunny ... yay! Roll on 5pm when i have my first injection so that they can do my op in the new year.

Dilema time!

Ok i know i have my moments but how the hell am i supposed to carry my mug of coffee and try and walk without falling on my arse again!!!! Maybe i should look for a maid but then again would that then be seen as me switching???

I have learnt a new skill - how to get up and down stairs without getting carpet burns on my bum lololol I was given crutches to make getting around easier, oh lordy it makes me more dangerous than before! At least i can laugh and oh god has it been a long time since i have done that.........

What a way to start christmas - fractured ankle and in a splint for the next 2 weeks or so! That will teach me not to go out to the wheelie bin in the early hours of the morning when it is dark and icy.

Dear Santa, When i asked for something that would leave me hot, breathless, shaking and moaning i did not mean a blessed viral infection! ugh

Sometimes silence speak louder than words

Hmmm have had a kick up the ass today by Mz Maddi!. I must say i thought it was quite rude of her but as my best friend and Mentor when i need it i guess it is allowed. I was reminded that - i am 'ME', people can accept me or reject me but at the end of the day i will still be 'ME' and by being 'ME' i am real not fake!  And yes She is right as there are so many fakes on here who spoil it for the genuine ones.

And another shallow prat who calls himself a Dom has joined the site! Well Richard at least you have made it known you are a shallow piece of crap and should not be taken seriously! I didnt message you, i answered yours back as i have manners and have been taught respect, but to not reply back cos you didnt like my pic lololol all i can say is jog on ya wanker and i hope you get what is coming to you!

They say it is the season to be jolly with only just over 3 weeks to go to christmas day! Well i dont feel jolly or festive or anything but numb and wish i could just sleep until it is all over and done with. After the visit to the doctors today on top of the thought of being on my own and waking up all alone christmas morning, i have gone back to the way i first felt when i was released from my collar. Not a good place to be!

An orgasm has 4 stages: 

Stage 1: Asthmatic (ahh,ahh,ahh)   Stage 2: Mathematics (more,more,more)              Stage 3: Religion (OMG)   and Stage 4: Criminal (if you pull it out or stop licking, i will kill you!)

Good morning

There are 3 little words that make me smile. Those 3 little words make me feel all happy inside. Those 3 little words mean so much to me ........  " here's your coffee!" or then again as i have been so kindly reminded "on your knee's!"    lolololol have a good day all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Something to think about:

When you have my friendship and trust, it is wise to keep it. Never betray me or lie to me. Once lost, my trust is very hard to renew!

Rant time

 Ok, for all you Dom's who have a problem with sub/slaves being 'fat'! Not all of us see ourselves as being beautiful on the outside but the person on the inside is. Some of us dont choose to be this way but we are! So how come it is ok to be rude and insult us by trying to get us to go onto cam and want us to plug our holes whilst playing with ourselves so that you can beat your cock off and spunk your computer screen and keyboard?? If we are good enough for that, they we are good enough to meet in person or is it that you have something to hide or  maybe your 'mother' dropped you and you hit every god damn branch of the ugly tree??????? So the next time you get the urge to ask me, i suggest you think again. as i dont do cam shows, never have and never will and i certainly wont be starting now!

hmmm writing my cv is turning out to be alot harder than i thought it would. Maybe if i put just spank me, whip me, fuck me and i can be and do anything you want!!! lololol       nope me thinks not so best go and get on with it

'Life has many lessons, alot of them we do not understand at the time we face them, but they all have a purpose. These lessons are only to help us grow and get stronger. Never stress over things that come up in life that are out of your control. Just know there is victory in the end. If you learn the lesson the first time, you will not have to repeat it over and over again.'

Female version of the Lords Prayer:

My vibrator, which brings me heaven, rabbit thy name. You make me cum, you bring me so much fun, on earth or is it heaven??? Give me this daily thrill, and forgive those who sold me dud batteries. Lead me straight into temptation. Deliever me from frustration, for thyme is the vibration, the power and the rotation, forever and ever. NO MEN......:)

grrrrrrr i would rather have a painful sore ass than a bloody chest,sinus and ear infection!!!! god give me strength

cant sleep!

Night night, sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite. But if they do then take your shoe, and beat them till they are black and blue! Sweet dreams xxxxxxxxx

I wish life was more simple!

I'm a little sex slut short and stout, here's my vagina and here's my mouth. When you bend me over you will here me shout, 'i'm your kinky sex toy make me scream, kinky sex is what i need'! lolololol

(_!_) an arse  (__!__) a fat arse  (!) a tight arse  (_?_) a dumb arse  (_*_) a sore arse  (_zzz_) a tired arse  (_e=mc2_) a smart arse 

and finally my favourite one of all          (_x_) kiss my arse  xxxx lol

Roll roll roll my bum, right on into bed. Kiss the pillow, hug the covers and call me sleepy head. Night night, sleep tight!

Hickory dickory dock, a slut was sucking cock. Her hair got tangled, the bitch got strangled, but at least she swallowed the lot! lololol

Good morning all

I am 98% asleep and only 2% awake -  approach at your own risk as you have been warned!

And finally

The moon is shinning in the sky, it's time for me to say goodbye. Time for me to go to bed and rest my tired and weary head. Goodnight, sleep tight xxxxx

Ooooh lordy this one is a little naughty but it made me laugh!

Sing a song of Bum sex, your rectums full of cum, 4 & 20 Fat cocks being forced up ya Bum. When the orgy's over and ya Bum begins to Sting, wasnt it a bad idea to take it up ya BUM!!!!! pmsl

A recent survey asked 100 men what they most enjoyed about a blow job. 10% said the sucking motion. 20% said the warm wet sensation and 70% said the silence! lololol x

  Sometimes we dont always see the woods for the trees, and that actually what we really want/need is right in front of us but we just dont see it until it is too late! Just maybe i have taken the step back and looked harder before it was too late, i guess we shall see...........

Welcome to my journal .... Today's specials are: Lack of sleep, up too early and low on patience.... thankyou - please come again!

Respect is earned : Honesty is appreciated : Trust is gained : Loyality is returned.

And now after that little outburst i am off for a nap!

Eat me, beat me, bite my bum. Strip me naked and make me cum! Make me scream and make me shout, come on baby freak me out!!!!! Oh lordy what a thought lolololol

Thought of the day:

Dont lose your real self in the search for acceptance by others!

Well it is off to dreamland i go where nothing hurts and everything is perfect! Nighty night and sleep tight!

Silence is golden but Duct tape is better as it comes in all different colours and patterns and is oh so much more effective

Well i am home, thank goodness, and as for tantrums hmmm i was exercising my right to be hacked off for their mistake and lack of care the last time i was in that god forsaken place! oh and my dear maddi - u know damn well what i am like hahahaha  love ya loads <phew thank goodness i dont bat for the other team as she would have my ass for breakfast> pmsl xxxxxxxxxx

Update

 Having visited 'hp' today in hospital, it appears that she has an infection which stems from when she had surgery last month! She will be staying in for a few days whilst anti biotics are administered intravenusly. Maybe whilst they do that, they could give her something for her temper and impatience!

Regards

Mz Maddi

Good morning

 I have been asked by 'honeyspride's daughter' to leave a message letting everyone know who she chats to, that she will not be on line for a few days due to her taking ill in the night, and being admitted into hospital. Although i have been given access to her account, i will not answer any messages sent but will post any updates if asked to do so.

Regards

Mz Maddi

Why is it that no matter how damn hard you try, no matter what you do, it's never good enough for some people?.  Some day i will be someone's priority and not their second or after thought!

Sometimes you just have to hold your head up high, blink away the tears and say goodbye......                                                                                                                              So here i go again: brick by brick, layer by layer, up it goes again!

I am going back to bed, am tired, tearful and dont feel too good!

Warning for today: 1 word describes me today -  'HORMONAL'

I am 50% angel and 50% devil today, stay on my good side and i promise you wont get a pitchfork up your ass!

I know i am gonna get alot of flack over this but here goes. I dont understand the Daddy Dom  daughter/child dynamics! I can go with the loving , caring and nurturing but i am sorry why the hell would you want to fuck a child or your daughter????? I am sorry if this sounds offensive, but please it is not for me so dont come asking if i want a Daddy. The thought of a father or father figure shoving his cock in my mouth,cunt or ass i find true disgustiung and offensive! But  like they say each to their but dont bring it my way

Trust...... such a small word, but so important!

Oh dear god it is gonna be one of those days again!!!  Why do men think the size of their cocks make them Dominant???? Trust me, pictures of your cock do not make me all wet, sticky and panting to call you Master, it wont have me playing with my cunt and clit for all it is worth! So my suggestion is - jog on sweetie and dont stop at my door step!

Oh dear slutwanted4real, no need to spit your dummy and delete my reply! At least i was honest and polite and didnt string you along like so many can on here, but trust me being a domestic slave for the day just isnt my cup of tea and is a very very hard limit! xxxx bless ya little heart - NOT!

Just a thought

One day you may realise you lost a diamond whilst you were busy collecting stones!

Ok rant time

My late Master always said you can run but you can never hide from truth, it will always catch up with each and everyone of us at some point in our lives, therefore always make sure you are honest and tell the truth!     So now please take heed when you chat with me, i will chat and answer anyones questions truthfully and honestly should they message me, I just wont promise to be polite if you are rude or obscene!      I will always ask if you are married and in a relationship as my profile states i am only interested in single Doms i.e single as being not being with anyone or possibly about to meet a potential partner as i do not like nasty surprises or accusations from there partners etc.  Yes it is ok to hide behind your 9-5 jobs in your office having a little fantasy  and think the little woman at home wont find out, but they always do. So trust me the next time i am lied to, or i find out i have been lied to i will name and shame.

and finally it is time for me to go give my pillow some head and my bed some ass, nighty night all xxxxxxxxx

It has been brought to my attention that i am not Special but a Limited Edition! lolololol    love it .......

Thought of the day - Fear!

Sometimes the things that scare us the most are also the things that could make us the happiest. Therefore, we just need to learn to push the fear out of the way!

I am aware that i am less than some people prefer me to be, But most people are unaware that i am so much more than what they see!

Trust is the greatest gift anyone can give you but the hardest thing to get back once it has been broken!

Good girls blush when they watch porn, but bad girls smile cos they know they can do better .........................

surgery didnt go as well as they planned it would and now have to go back in and have more in a few weeks, totally gutted and upset!

Well today is the day i have my operation, in less than 7 hours i will be all tucked up in my hospital bed waiting to go down for surgery - one thing springs to mind

like a lamb to the slaughter..............

for choccie lovers:

who needs a man when there's chocolate - comes in all flavours and sizes, can have it morning noon or night, it's monogamus and satisfies when hard or soft!

At last i am back home, what a day it has been! Whilst switching off being the good samaritan that i am, i came across this which describes me totally:

I can be emotional and at times impatient, i can also get jealous and i am certainly not no super model but i am still the most loyal, honest, loving and giving person you could ever meet or wish for!

I wish i could rewind the past few weeks and watch it all over again, and maybe this time figure out just where the hell it all went wrong and why!

This one is for the 'arm candy' Doms

If you think i have been hit by the ugly tree, then you must have been whipped, hammared and trodden on by the whole of the f**king Amazon ..............

all i can say is i am back from hols but never ever again!

Mmmmm

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me. So tie me up and throw me down and show me how i like it!

For some reason this was sent to me by a very prudish and vanilla friend, and i honestly dont know why lol  so i thought i would share

Some girls beg, some girls borrow, some girls lead and some girls follow. Some bring joy, and some bring sorrow, but the best girls just suck and swallow! hahahahaha

Always the friend, never the sub.................

A cat and a rooster are sitting by a pool, the cat falls in and the rooster laughs! The cat then says: 'a wet pussy always makes a cock happy!' hahahahahaha

when all else fails - have a cup of coffee lol

The way i feel:

Sometimes i say i am 'fine' but actually i feel i am going 'insane'. Sometimes i say i feel 'good' but actually i am in alot of 'pain'. I will say it's 'nothing', when actually it is really 'alot'. I will always say i am 'ok' but deep down i am 'not'.

How true this is:

There are times when we must be hurt to grow, we must lose in order to gain......  because some lessons in life are best learned through Pain!

Respect is earned: Honesty is appreciated: Trust is gained: Loyalty is returned

Thought of the day:

I cant control what life serves me, but i can choose what to chew on, what to swallow and what to spit out!    

I may not be stunning or skinny, i'm not perfect and i'm a little nutty ~ but i'm the one and only me ~ the beautiful mess i am meant to be!

This for all you  assholes who hate fat people

We are not fat! We are enviromentally friendly. The fatter we are, the less water we need to fill the bath! LMFAO xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Something to think about :

Do not begin or start something with no intentions to see it through to the end!

It's not what i have been through that defines me, its how i have gotton through it and what i am because of it!

grrrrr bad tempered, hormonal, in pain ( i might add the wrong kind of pain! ) and craving choccie - not good ! But the positive side is only 10 more sleeps to my holiday in Gran Canaria yay!

Amusing thought of the day for the next time someone says they want to shove their cock up my arse!

A skinny white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and see's this huge guy standing next to him. The big guy see's the little guy staring at him,  Looks down and says, 7ft tall, 350lbs, 20 inch cock and 3lb testicles, Turner Brown. The little guy faints and falls to the ground. The big guy kneels down and brings him too shaking him. The big guy says 'whats wrong with you?'  In a weak voice the little guy says 'What Exactly did you do to me?' The big dude says:  'i saw your curious look and figured i'd just give you the answers to the questions that everyone always asks me ..........?' 'I'm 7ft tall, i weight 350lbs, i have a 20 inch cock, my testicles weigh 3lbs each and my name is Turner Brown!' The small guy says: 'Turner Brown?!  sweet jesus, i thought you said Turn around......................

Thought of the day:

If carrots are so good for the eyesight, how come there are so many dead bunnies on the roads?

It is no good, i am gonna have to give in to my weakness- choccie here i come lololol

totally hacked off!

Something to think about

"The only people who truely know your story are the ones that help you write it."

Thought of the day

Everyone is three people

The one you think you are, the one other's think you are and the one you really are!

Food for thought

There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters,who never did, and who always will!

Why is it that no matter how tired you are, sometimes it is impossible to sleep!

Why do we take life so much for granted? After spending nearly 2 weeks in hospital after being in a car accident, i will never take what i have for granted again!

To the world you maybe one person, but to one person you maybe the world!

Wow what a blast from the past Domdelux (Mister Nick) xxxx the 10 years have flown by, i guess that is one thing no one can control in life! I am so glad you messaged me and i promise to stay in touch, well at least to show i am still the same cheeky mare as i was all those years ago lolololol. You are one  great guy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Never lie to a person who trusts you and never trust a person who lies to you!

This is for the shallow arsehole who has upset me :

You judged me by the way i look, you should have looked again and you would have seen the real me and not the covering of my skin!

Have you ever wondered why  A,B,C,D,DD,E,F,G and H are used to define bra sizes? Well wonder no more as your thoughts can now be finally answered

A - almost boobs.....

B- barely there !!!

C - cant complain

D - damn!

DD - double damn!!

E - enourmous!

F - fake!

G - get a reduction love!

H - help!! i have fallen over and cant get up!!!!!!!!!!!!     hahahahahaha

mental note to oneself :

 try not to drink so much wine the next time i have a drink, it loosens my tongue too much and i give away too many dirty dark secrets hahahaha

Good friends are like diamonds, precious and rare.

Fake friends are like fallen leaves, found everywhere!

Sarcasm maybe the lowest form of wit, but it is also the bodies natural defense against stupid people!

Love me? Great!

Hate me? Even better

Think i am ugly? Well dont look at me!

Judge me? You dont know me!

Think you know me? Trust me, you have no idea!!!!!

A mental note to all:

If you want Respect from me, you should be honest from the beginning and not hide like a coward behind walls of lies and deceit!

Thought of the day:

The moment you give up is the moment you let somebody else win!

If you dont like me fat, you wont like me skinny. I am the same person inside!

Something to think about  

Everyone has a story left untold, so never start judging someone thinking you know them inside and out.

Because the truth is you dont, and never will!

I'm not single & i'm not taken.

I'm simply on reserve for the one that deserves me because they say 'all good things come to those that wait!'

I thought i would share something a vanilla friend asked me if i agreed with, bless her she could never be submissive hahahaha ~

5 DEADLY TERMS USED BY A WOMAN.

 (1) FINE- this is the word women use to end an argument when they know they are RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP.

 (2) NOTHING- means SOMETHING & u need to be WORRIED.

(3) GO AHEAD- this is a dare, not permission, DO NOT DO IT.

 (4) WHATEVER- is a woman's way of saying #$%& YOU.

(5) THAT'S OK- she is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake

Something light hearted;

When things aren't going right,

Go left!

hahaha

Thought of the day

Sometimes,  what is good for some is not always good for others.

And,  what is true for some may not be true for others!

 The wise man once said,

He who knows, does not speak.

He who speaks, does not know!                                                                                           

Lao Tsu.

Learn from yesterday,

Live for today,

Hope for tomorrow .........

The best feeling in the world is knowing you actually mean something to somebody!

That feeling went along time ago...........

Why do i get asked to be someone i am not? or dress what would be inappropriate for me at this moment in time? It isnt that i dont want to it is because at the moment it isnt possible. I am not fake i am just me.

Some people are Real

Some people are Good

Some people are fake

       But

Some people are Real Good at being Fake! I am not one of them, and if you knew me or even tried to get to know me you would know who i really am and what i am capable of.

I thought i would share something a dear friend said to me today

The past should be the past, it can destroy the future.

Live for what tomorrow has to offer and not for what yesterday has taken away..........

Something to remember

We just have to accept the fact that some people stay in our hearts, even if they dont stay in our lives.......