hollyhollywould

The truth about submission.

submissive.

The little "s" word with a big, broad meaning.

submissive [s?b'm?s?v] adj. inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others or showing such inclination.

The dictionary gives us only a vague, empty iteration of facts. But really, how could it properly put into words the immensely diverse, complex meaning and feelings behind submission? As human beings we are not constant, we are ever-evolving - even when we like to think we aren't. The implications of submission are forever evolving too, and it isn't as simple as some might think.

Synonyms bring a whole new level of complication to this assessment. Unassertive? Meek? "Not I," said the little red hen.

One of the most perplexing truths about being a submissive is that before you can safely and fully transfer your power to your Dom, you need to be powerful yourself. It is not the same power you will find in a Dom, perhaps, but power nonetheless.

Before they can give themselves away in a healthy way, the submissive has to feel that they are a worthwhile person. They have to have confidence in themselves as individuals. Dominating a weak person or an unsure person can have disastrous results. Without strength of mind, a person will rot from the inside out. And of course, if a submissive has wilted so too will their counterpart.

The truth is, in a D/s relationship one cannot exist without the other. They are two halves of a whole, Tao-te ching, bread and butter. You get the idea.

Back to the point - It is obscenely easy to get on your knees and call yourself a submissive, but does that make a person one? Perhaps I should phrase it a different way…. Would you put on some scrubs and head to a hospital, pick up the scalpel and say, "I'm ready to perform brain surgery. Lets go."?

To give true trust you must trust yourself.
To give true love you must love yourself.
To give power you must empower yourself.

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