Collarspace.com

Not exactly a beginner anymore, but severely lacking in real-time experience (and hoping to make up for that). Unfortunately I tend to be a "bolter". I meet someone, get all worked up, suffer a huge case of sub-drop then bolt. I'll write about it sometimes.

Sometimes I'm not sure what I want, and there are times that I don't want it at all (but I seem to always want it again - and again).

I'm not service oriented if that means cleaning your house, cutting your grass, fixing your meals (I can appreciate the pleasure in doing that, but it's just not me).

I'm not interested in being feminized or crossdressing either (I've had fantasies of that, very pleasurable ones, but again, it's just not me).

And I'm not interested in being controlled all the time, or even a significant amount of time or being in a 24/7 relationship (the idea of full, complete submission gives me a pleasurable tingle down there, but this can only be one part of what is a very busy and complicated life).

So that sounds like a lot of demands for someone whose supposed to be compliant and submissive and have only his Mistress's pleasure and comfort in mind.

I do like being tied up, feeling exposed and vulnerable...a helpless little woodland creature in the jaws of the tigress.

I love the pain so far. CBT/NT and spanking/flogging especially, but not sure where my limits are. Impact play? Not sure that I want to find out suddenly or violently, but would like to maybe creep up on them. I would like to try electrical stimulation and maybe, someday, with the right person, maybe needles. Edge play, blood, is too far for me now.

I used to be disinterested, even slightly adverse to the idea of orgasm control, teasing and denial, until I had a brief taste of it not long ago and now the idea won't leave me alone. I just spent most of the idle hours of my day thinking about it and have damp spots in my boxers to show for it. Not complete orgasm denial you know, but the idea of not knowing when or if I'm going to be allowed to cum. The idea of being made to be aroused frequently but only sometimes being allowed to release when she says so.

I enjoy body worship, touching sucking licking smelling rubbing giving pleasure and enjoying the touch and feel of a woman's body. I have no particular skills at massage, but the thought of rubbing lotion all over a woman, or giving her a bath, or combing her hair are all pleasurable and stimulating. Brining a woman pleasure is intensely pleasing of course.

Foot worship would be something new that I think I might enjoy.

I'm definitely interested in real-time but would also enjoy email/phone/cam control.

Hard limits include children, blood, scat, anything that leaves permanent marks or sends me to the ER, drugs, extreme pain, photographs/video, anything illegal, unsafe sex. I'll probably come up with a few more, but that covers the major ones I guess. I'm not sure about any kind of public play at this point...if I can just get beyond not bolting that would be good for now.

I'm looking for someone local to the DC and surrounding area who wants to get together for an afternoon or evening maybe twice a month. I want to play, experiment, enjoy. Not particularly looking for an LTR right now, but wouldn't necessarily rule it out either for the right person.
5/26/2010 3:11:14 PM
"Go ahead," she insisted, pulling up a chair next to mine.

I logged in, waited for the computer to get ready.

"I think you're going to like this," she said. "It made me SO horny just thinking about it."

While the screen was coming to life, she started rubbing one nipple through the fabric of her blouse.

As soon as I could, and with a shaking mouse hand, I clicked the big blue "E" and brought up my web browser.

"What's the address," I asked.

"Let's just take a look at your history," she said.

"Uh..." I replied.

"I want to see what you were looking at last night."

I must have flushed red as I felt the warmth creep into my cheeks.

"Yes Ma'am," I said obediently and brought up my history from the previous evening.

"Wow, you've been quite busy I see," she said, her voice getting tense and short. "Click on them. I want to see."

I clicked on several of the links and stared straight into the screen, not daring to meet her eyes. An image of a woman in a black leather corset and a huge strapon dildo filled the screen, followed by a video clip of a man tied to a large wooden X having his cock and balls flogged.

"Get your cock out," she said, "and show me what you do when I'm not around."

I released my belt, unbuckled and unzipped. Pulling the fly apart, I lifted the waistband of my boxers up over my throbbing cock then down under my balls.

"Maybe a little of this," she said sweetly, popping open the cap on my lubricant and squeezing out a small stream of the cold silky liquid on my cock.

"Now get busy, but don't you cum unless I say so."
5/25/2010 12:45:00 PM
"50 strokes - send pic"

I flip closed my cellphone, finish the email I'm working on, click send then lock my workstation.

I slip the bottle of lubricant and the wash cloth out of my gym bag and slip out the door of my office, hoping no one stops me in the hallway.

I slip into the mens room dampen my wash cloth in the sink then ente the last stall. No one's here thank goodness, and it's quiet. I unfasten my belt and pants, lower my trousers to my ankles. My starts growing hard in my hand as I apply a dash of cool lubricant and start massaging. When I'm fully hard, I start stroking slowly as She has instructed me. Slowly up and back, "one"; slowly up and back, "two". I close my eyes and imagine her before me, large full breasts peaked with tight hard marbles pressing through the fabric of her blouse.

At 30 it's all I can do not to let my fist race. I continue slowly counting "thirty one" as I dream of my Mistress.

At 50 my cock is twitching and begging for release, but I stop. I lean down and grab the cellphone from my pants pocket, flip it open and select the camera function. I snap the picture, then address it to my Lady and press send.
1/31/2008 7:43:32 AM
Wow, after weeks of not even thinking about any of this, and now today I can't concentrate on anything else. I've been slipping my hand down into my pants and stroking myself on and off all day and probably won't be able to hold out past lunch. It's days like today, when my own self-control is not up to the challenge that it would be nice to have someone take control.
9/21/2007 7:55:15 AM
I finally couldn't take it anymore and completed twice yesterday. Not sure I'm ready to start again. it was challenging, but cumming is sooo good.
9/19/2007 1:05:42 PM
The self-tease and denial continues. I wish I'd been counting days. I'm getting upwards of two weeks and thinking it would be a good idea to go ahead and release. I'm split between trying to figure out a way to do a self-milking (which would be interesting just from a technical standpoint) and just enjoying myself.

Probably enjoy myself.

I must say there is a big desire to just keep going. It feels like I've got a lot invested so far and a release just puts me back at square one.

On the other hand, if I don't cum soon I'm going to loose my friggin mind. Better to cum and start again I suppose.  
9/17/2007 2:01:09 PM
I have been keeping myself well stimulated throughout the day. Got in the shower this morning and brought myself close to completion three times. On the way to work I started stroking myself through my trousers and then once at work went into a restroom stall and stroked myself hard for a few minutes.

I'm being very careful not to cum, but it's difficult. I mean what's the difference if it's just me doing it to myself? It's an interesting exercise in endurance I suppose, but it's not the same as if I were being controlled. It's like using the brush on my thighs and balls the other day. It's very stimulating but not at all the same as having someone else do it (or doing it at the command of someone else).

9/16/2007 2:02:58 PM

I step into the shower and, in my mind's eye, she steps in behind me.


The water sprinkles down over both of us and I'm  facing the shower, letting half the water spray on my face and run down my chest, careful to let some of the water fly past my ear to my Mistress.


I start to turn, but she puts her hands on my hips and says "No. Hand me the soap."


I pass it back and feel her fingertips linger on mine as she slowly slides the soap off my hand.


"Shampoo your hair," she tells me. I measure out shampoo and start working it into my hair.


"Keep shampooing your hair until I tell you to stop," she instructs, a hint of fun in her voice.


She steps close and I feel her body press against mine and her soapy hands slide up my torso and begins alternately massaging and pinching my nipples. Her soapy belly and hips grind slowly against my buttocks.


"Like that, lover," she inquires playfuly as she delivers a particularly painful pinch.


"Yeah," I pant out, and I do...like it. The smell of her and I and the soap; the warm water; her hips gyrating against mine; it's intoxicating.


"Good," she says and pulls back. My skin chills slightly where her body was. "Work it in," she reminds me and I realize my hands are frozen to my head. I start working the lather into my hair.


I feel her hands at my waist again, one hand holding the bar of soap. As her hands travel around me, headed down this time, i feel her soft belly and hips again press against me and she starts gyrating again.


Her hands lather up my belly, then my thighs, and then I let out a little gasp as she works the soap into my balls and the base of my cock. She slowly works the soap up and down my cock, moaning and gyrating and thrusting her hips against me. She moves with slow, deliberate motion all the way up and down the entire length of my straining cock. I turn slightly and step forward so that more of the water runs past me and away from my well-lubricated shaft.


"I don't feel you washing," she admonishes me with an abrupt and firm squeeze of my balls.


I put my hands back into motion, working the lather deeper into my hair.


She pulls back from me again briefly then
presses into me again. She's relathered the front of her and we're slippery and warm together.


"Want me to continue, lover?" she asks.


"Yes," I swallow. "Please."


She giggles then reaches around with her soapy left hand and resumes her slow, rhythmic pumping. Then I feel something rough and scratchy on the outside of my thigh. I chance a quick glance down and see in her hand a long-handled cleaning brush with a round tuft of stiff, inch-long bristles on the end.


I suddenly remember my hair and start moving my hands again.


Still rubbing my cock slowly, she pulls it up to rest against my belly and continues stroking the bottom of the shaft with the palm of her hand. Her body jerks and I feel the brush slap hard against my defenseless balls. The brush comes down twice more then I feel the brush press into my balls and rub lightly in circles for a few seconds.


“I think your hair’s clean enough now. Rinse.”
As I push my head under the water she holds my hips and walks me backwards a step, then pushes the brush between my legs from behind, forcing my legs apart until the bristles find my balls again. She slaps them twice playfully.


“Stand up” she orders, and then she pushes past me so that she’s now nearer the shower and I’m behind.


“Do you want permission to cum today,” she asks.


I rub the water out of my eyes and let them feast for a moment on her nakedness.


“Yes please. Oh that would be great I’m so damn horny.”


She hands me the soap. “Show me.”


I lather up then hand the soap back. I stroke my cock carefully, slowly. I know better than to cum until she commands it. She takes the soap from me and begins washing in front of me, slowly, sensuously.


“Faster,” she commands as she rinses the soap from her body. I do as I’m told and speed up. Maybe she’ll really let me cum this time.


She picks up the brush, smiles and then slaps my balls with it twice. “Stop.” She commands. Good thing too…as horny as I am after more than a week of regular stimulation but no release a good slap on the balls could easily have me spurting uncontrollably.


She lathers up her hand and steps closer, taking over control of my cock.


“Grab the curtain rod,” she orders. I turn and do as she says.


She stops stroking my cock but leaves her hand in place. “Hump my hand. If you can do it fast enough I’ll let you cum.”


I start humping for all I’m worth and she’s laughing at the sight of me. She’s only holding my cock loosely and I can’t get enough friction to start building to a climax. With her other hand she starts spanking my ass with the brush. After a minute she commands me to stop.


“Well, I guess you didn’t really want to cum all that bad after all,” she says playfully, and steps from the shower. “Maybe tomorrow.”

9/13/2007 2:55:11 PM
Driving in the car today and for the first time in a months started dwelling on submission and have been thinking about it all day (and have been very aroused a good portion of the day as well).

Was thinking particularly about tease and denial, something that the last person I met here turned me on to. While I was driving I imagined she called and had me cover my lap with a towel then unzip my pants right there, driving down the highway. She had me get myself hard then stroke myself slowly to her cadence and occasionally stopping and squeezing my balls hard.

If she were there beside me of course we would stop and she'd tie a necktie around my balls and then as we were driving she would make me stroke myself while she sometimes gently, sometimes harshly tugged on the tie. She would have me stop once in a while and reach over and stimulate me with her hand, driving me crazy, not letting me cum.