Its been quite a long time since my last entry- actually haven't visited this site in quite awhile. Haven't dropped from the scene - been on other sites. 

    I have moved more into the Daddy/baby girl arena- it gives me great pleasure to look out for, care about and protect a baby girl. There still is no question who is in charge, but the quiet and easy way its done is very different . The flow and warmth is palpable . 

    I have grown in many ways and yet there still are remnants of things needing work- all more lessons to grow from. 

       Almost one month since my last entry. Making progress in one form or another - clarifying my needs . Surprised at how I have withdrawn from my previous considerations of multiple partners - thought I might join the current generation of open thinkers about this. The truth is - I want one  - one - sub thats my own, not sharing, no multiple partners - I am possessive, ok, ok, selfish - I want her to be mine and mine alone. 

      I am fine with those who choose other ways - but, pretty clearly its not for me. Would welcome conversations about this - for or against - others travelled this same path ?

Time for another sojourn into my perceptions of the lifestyle and where I am within it. 

   You would think that at my age - I'd have such a good handle on all that might come down the pike - well, I thought I did...  lol, not so true - and I suppose that adds to the excitement or the confusion and sometimes pain and pleasure. 

    Seeking and finding a sub with the right chemistry is so difficult - certainly that isn't a revelation to all that seek here. The wonder if its possible at all arises often - but, I can't stop - its that ongoing desire , deep need  to have that satisfaction that owning a sub provides. 

    I have to say, the people I have met here certainly have helped me grow and expand - both in a positive and negative way - but - new experiences and learning - all good in the end. 

  Time hasn't really clarified the confusion generated with new concepts , new approaches to interactions with subs. Funny, makes me want to return to long held beliefs - knowing that its the cowards way . Guess I'll continue struggling for an answer.

     Life has so many twists and turns, for the most part easy to adjust and move on, but, there are those turns to raise questions - make you stop short and re-consider your opinions. You know - wonder if what you have thought was a base to live from - is real, how did you form that base ? Should you look at it again ? 

      Feel free to drop me a note if you would like to know more, its a bumpy ride some days.

Way past time for another entry, 

      Things have been hectic, but, trying to slow down, taking time to relax, searching with a more focused eye - still , wondering , how the search will go ? 

     Have chatted with a variety of subs with a range of interests new to me - its been fun, discovered new things about myself (read my profile), still exciting and defining. 

        Chatting and learning about a new subs interests and abilities , slowing guiding, wondering if the chemistry is right - for either or both of us ? its a journey - we'll see.

I have been looking at others journals , could it really be true that some  require subs to send them money ? gifts ?   Damn, I have been missing out,, I could use a few dollars to keep up with the bills - maybe I should try -- naw,, not my style. Still it is amazing to me that anyone would consider such a thing.

Another good day,making progress on all those small things that never seem to get done - I actually completed some , yeah..
   I seem to have some days that I think finding a sub to administer a nice beating too, would be pleasurable. But, alas, no sub around for that, still a thought. Its not my usual interest, I'm much more into D/S. Some excercise using a paddle or flogger would be good, and I'd like to think - for myself and the sub.

Its a rainy day, overcast, but, doesn't strike me as dreary, just a quiet fall day. I like the rain, and wind, gives action to the weather - a new sensation - things moving around you. Different smells, sights , nice.
    Like meeting someone new, exciting, all new concepts. Conversations never had before, its a good thing.

Its been some time since my last entry.  
   Funny how the world turns - more slowly for me, taking more time to consider, ponder, curious about who is out there and what their real interest is .
    So many false and misleading profiles,, how can you find the true one you seek ?
   Hints ? anyone found a way ?