GeoandJJ

We are done trying to help others that dont want to help themselves. If you married to a vanilla and living bdsm on the side then you are content not happy. If you are wanting a change but make excuses on why you can't make a change then you deserve what you get

If a Dominant place himself or herself first then he actually has placed himself or herself last. Now if he or she places himself or herself last then he actually is placing himself or herself first since the ones he or she loves, cares for and is submissive to him or her will place him or her first in her or his life. It is about being strong enough with who you are as a Dominant so that you can be a Dominant of the words below!

We just found this and is says what we believe so well that we did not change a word of it. We want to share this with you so you understand what we are about. We have the permission from the person who write this to share with others and place it here on our journal. We will share what we think is good and what we agree with.

Newsflash to supposed dominants:

1) Financial dominants? Tributes? Have you lot lost your mind? What submissive in his/her right mind would give you money? What that makes you is a whore, not a Dominant.  If you're unfamiliar with how power distribution works, whoring yourself doesn't really put you at the top of the power pyramid. It just makes you somewhat pathetic.  Get a job. Stop trying to take advantage of other humans. None of you demanding tributes are impressive enough to warrant any submissive giving you a cent.

2) Wanting a submissive just so she/he can clean up after you is not being dominant. Wanting a submissive just so you have someone to run errands for you is not being dominant. It's called being lazy. Any Dominant worth serving is hardworking; this doesn't mean a submissive won't perform services - it just means that is one facet of his/her submission.

3) Dominance is not about shouting out orders at strangers on the internet. That doesn't prove to anyone that you're dominant. It makes you seem like a petulant, pathetic child. Actual Dominance is obvious.  It does not require all of that silly posturing.

4) Being 'dominant' does not entitle you to anything beyond what a submissive freely gives to you. You do not deserve respect simply because you say you are dominant. Anyone can say that. You earn respect, and you earn submission.  It's a process, not an automatic assumption. 

5) There is a sizable difference between being a Dominant and being a pig. D/s is not an excuse to be a sexist or an ass.

6) If you're psychologically unstable, you should not be dominating anyone. Get your issues sorted out. Dominance is a responsibility; it is something that requires your mental health to ensure the safety of your submissive. If you do not care about the safety of your submissive, you're not psychologically stable and should not be entrusted with his/her submission.

7) A D/s relationship is still a relationship. That means there are two parties involved. Treat your submissives well. Being a Dominant is not about treating a submissive poorly. Neither sadism nor Dominance requires poor treatment of your sub. Value what they have given to you. 

End rant.

We were looking at any profile in New York State just because we could do so. I the man of this couple have to ask a question and hope someone can answer it one day. Why is it that a lot of women that are Dominants in the lifestyle call themselves Professional- dominatrix and most men just call themselves Dominants? Just wondering and a wondering mind want to know….LOL….. Should re-name this site Dommes without jobs! We have this thing about us, why should someone support us if we are the Dominants? Now if the some one who join us gives themselves to us fully then money will not matter since having the mind is far more important to us then having the money! Plus we make enough money to do what we want to do and have what we want to have!

We are Old School, we view this lifestyle as an art form and a privilege and we expect those that surround Us to do so as well.

We are very safe, very sane, and very much grounded. We are no nonsense and we will not tolerate any drama. Those who we have let go have no good things to say about Us. What a surprise! LOL.

Yet those that are still in Our lives can not say enough good things about US!

We have been asked about what we are looking for on here. So we figured we will write what we are looking for and place it in our journal! We are looking for a woman who is alive, who is ready to live the life as she wants to live her life with us as her friends and partners if she joins us one day. She has to understand that we want a woman who has a mind that is ready for this lifestyle. We want to be with a woman who wants us as we are so that we will want her as she is. We want a woman who will allow us to enhance her life by becoming a part of her life. We want to find a woman who will be the woman of her words. We want to find a woman who is ready to be who her words state she is and one that will allow us to bring about the things she needs and wants to have in her life. We want a woman who understands that we do not care what she looks like or how much she weights since for us the mind is what we are seeking. You see once we have the mind everything else will follow!

We read a profile that was there when we logged in and we had to write something in our journal since it states so well what we know and think. Yes we took her words and made them ours! Yes we know that it state master only yet that is because it is a powerful statement and I JJ now believe in what it states since my man Geo took the time to teach me the meaning of the following words so for the one woman who will join us one day. You should understand the words that follow since they are the corner stone of this family. Old saying a mind is a terrible thing to waste and for us the mind is the corner stone of this lifestyle!!!!!!! Sub/slaves do not need to be forced because true slavery and submission is when a sub/ slave willingly gives herself to her master who takes total control of her mind, heart, body, and soul, when this is achieved it instills a euphoria in the sub/slave. This statement even goes for the subs/slaves who want to be forced since the sub/slave is still getting what she wants while being forced since in the long run she is still willingly gives herself to her master who takes total control of her mind, heart, body, and soul, when this is achieved it instills a euphoria in the sub/slave. What this is about is that the Master is giving to the sub/slave what her mind seeks. That is what is important in this lifestyle, the sub/slaves mind!

DOMINANT’S FIELD GUIDE

The following was provided by members of Dark Connections. (dot) com.Feel free to share this guide unaltered.

Chapter 1 - Finding a Submissive
o Intuition and common sense are your most valuable instincts.
o Look for the same personality/ qualities you would look for in a vanilla partner.
o Be clear and honest about what you are seeking in a relationship.
o Make sure your sub understands whether you are looking for a monogamous or poly situation.
o Before you attempt poly, make sure you can handle that first sub.
o Make a list of mandatory questions to ask prospective subs.
o A sub that refuses to answer basic questions, especially regarding his or her medical history, has something to hide.
o Pass over prospective subs who obviously aren't compatible with your needs.
o Don't rush blindly into relationships because you are so eager to have a sub.
o Collars should not be given out without serious consideration and intent.
o Being a Dominant doesn't give you the right to order around every sub you come in contact with.
o Subs are not obligated to have sex or give tributes to you.
o Be wary of subs who want financial support, or who are frequently collared and released.
o Talk to other subs and Dom/mes before you meet someone new. Get references.
o Expensive fetish clothes/toys or a collection of collars does not make a submissive.
o Some subs exaggerate their lifestyle experience in order to impress Dom/mes.
o A sub with many years of experience may still be a total asshole or mentally unstable.
o A sub has a right to leave you.

Chapter 2 - Being safe
o Make sure you know your sub's medical conditions and HIV status before playing.
o Anything that is not consensual is considered abuse and is prosecutable.
o Consensual play that results in serious injury or death will be investigated by police as reckless endangerment and may get you jail time.
o A Dominant who refuses to honor a safeword is being abusive.
o Your sub is your property and responsibility. Care for him or her properly.
o Know your sub's limits and pain threshold thoroughly before attempting to scene.
o Discuss any traumatic events the sub has had which may be triggered during play.
o Do not drink excessively or use prescription/ recreational drugs that may impair your ability before or during a scene.
o There may be times when your sub zones out and is unable to call their safeword.
o Remember that it only takes a split second to do physical or mental damage during a scene. You must stay focused.
o Learn as much as you can about a new style of play before attempting to try it.
o Clean insertables before and after they are used on a sub.
o Learn CPR and keep a first aid kit with scissors in your toybag.
o Calling a safeword is not a sign of failure. It will help improve future scenes.
o Be wary of subs who say they have no limits.
o Never rush off to another state to meet a sub you just met online.Be patient.
o Use safe calls (phone calls at established times) when meeting for the first time.
o Always meet in public on your first date.
o If you must play on a first date, do it at a public dungeon.
o Pay attention to your sub's physical/mental condition after scenes.
o Some Dominants may need aftercare too.

Chapter 3 - Protocol
o The most important protocol your sub should follow is your own.
o Basic etiquette and manners are all that is required at most lifestyle events.
o Make sure you know all the rules of a specific event and don't break them.
o Don't try to get sex and/or play under the guise of "mentoring."
o Your sub's behavior in public is a direct reflection upon you.
o Do not touch other people's property (subs, toys) without permission.
o Never interrupt other people's scenes (i.e. touching, talking or laughing loudly)
o Always clean up after your scene.

Chapter 4 - Your Journey
o Choose your scene name carefully. You should earn your title (Sir, Master, etc) through respect and experience.
o Don't expect a submissive to be the solution to all your problems in life.
o Before one can control another they must be in control of themselves.
o Be responsible for your own health, financial independence and happiness.
o Never stop learning about yourself and ways to improve your Dominance.
o Apologizing or admitting when you are wrong does not make you any less of a Dominant. It is an admirable trait.
o A lifestyle aware friend can be just as helpful as a mentor.
o Skills and experience are not a substitute for social graces.
o If you value your reputation, keep your word and respect others.
o The community is not a platform to feed your ego.
o Don't spend more money than you can afford on fetish gear, toys, or events.
o A sub does not have to be a pain slut to be a good submissive.
o A sub can teach you about the lifestyle without topping from the bottom.
o This is your journey. Live it the way that makes you happy and satisfied.
o If you aren't having fun, you are doing it wrong.
o Take time to honestly learn what you need and want out of the lifestyle.
o Your sub deserves to have his or her needs met too.

Special thanks to AD, Bishop, Charmed Blyss, Darque de Sade, Goddess Palia, Jennee', lil one, Macho Mongo, Mr. Worf, Mistress Max Rulz, Ms. Lynn, Pharaoh Khafra & Empress Nahara, pulse, Solamente, sugga, Strange, Tee, Ty and Yummy.

We have not been around much since Master had to have back surgery done and we are now home. We will be one and off here sicne there is much to do plus Geo is a hand full when he is sick plus he has to be taken care of so that he can be stronger sooner than later.

Only a true Master or Mistress seeks out the finest and strongest sub/slave to call His or Her own, as a sub/slave seeks out the strongest and most responsible Master or Mistress. The difference is within our different strengths. 

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks.  When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be.  Each unveils the best part of the other.  No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise.  Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction.  When we're three balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person to join us.  Our soulmate is one who makes life come to life!"

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." 
            Bob Marley

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; yet truth is that there is one out there that will hurt you yet the love you have for him or she will make the hurt not matter. We are human beings so we are not perfect, so will make mistakes that may lead to hurting the one we love and yet if the love is true the hurt will not matter because true love will make it not matter because of all that he or she has doe good for you. Geo and jj