ForgedWill

Been away for a while...I'm back now. New email address: vinceking1966@yahoo.com

Been in the hospital for the past 4 weeks. Just got out.

I'm very angry right now. What part of establishing a relationship "takes time," do people not understand? I've been married and divorced x2 because of singular stupidity, and I will not allow another person in my life who would attempt to destroy happiness for the sakie of their own inability to control themselves. Dig this and dig it good; I do NOT bargain. I do NOT have double standards. I AM in control. I make the rules. I expect my rules to be obeyed 24/7/365. Is that clear? I have a daughter that takes up a lot of my time, in addition to working full time, and college full time. Some would say I should "compromise." Again, I do NOT bargain. I take my time in getting know someone, beyond the physical- beyond the initial "oh, she's nice" formatting. It's called "falling in love." That takes time for the heart to be assured of safety. Do I sound "vanilla?" I assure you I am not. I have done, seen, ate, drank things that would make a goat puke. I have seen pain inflicted far beyond your sexual mories, resulting in maiming or death. I have stood ankle deep in blood trying to save someone's life with their insides hanging out. I have fought death itself to a draw. I have caught and caged the real monsters of this world that would take your life from you, for just sheer pleasure alone. So, do not parlay or attempt to be coy- stupidity is no excuse. Am I clear on this? Is this getting through some peoples' heads?

Society has determined I am a dinosaur in this day and age. That I am not P.C., and thereby to be shunned like some leperous pariah. I do not accept everyone/behaviors/everything like society wishes me to. If that is so, then I am the last SuperPredator to walk this earth, and those that would seek to change me, will be swept away.

I have met many a Babylon in my time, and my experiences: 

"And upon her forehead was written: “Mystery Babylon The Great, The Mother of Harlots and of the Filth of The Earth.”" - Revelations 17:5

Pissed as hell right now.

Yesterday was not a good day, and today is shaping up to be worse. Come on, we're adults here. What I'm specifically feeling here today is betrayal. Yesterday, I was getting very sleepy, so I took a nap, had a dream about someone. I kept asking them over and over what they were doing, where they were going. Then woke up. No biggie. Weird dream but ok. Then, by that very token, I find out that a certain element came into play with someone I thought I knew, I thought I could trust to tell me everything. Nope, obviously not. And the discovery took place just a couple of hours AFTER the dream. Stupid, stupid me. I should never trust anyone again; despite the fact that someone and I batted the idea around a while, and I do mean awhile back, you just don't act upon it, you also tell someone what it is your doing- when you're doing it. Nope, just dropped in my lap like a flaming bag of potatoes. My trust in people is already grossly warped due to the past, but this just helps destroy it even more.

It's rather comical. We pay money to see movies about monsters, witches, ghouls, demons, etc., get the shit scared out of us, then walk out in the crowds and safety in numbers. Yet, never ever realizing the man or woman you're standing next to in line for your ticket, the concession stand, the bathroom, or sitting next to you in the theater, could be a true monster of the worst sort. Spouse beaters, murderers, sex offenders, molesters, worshipers of all things foul,abusers of all kinds.

"Be alert, be reflective, because your enemy Satan roars like a lion and is walking and seeking whom he may devour" 1st Peter, Chapter 5, verse 8.

Yes, the true monsters and their very source of power walks around, seeking those whom he may eat.

So, think about it- reader of this post. Think about how you speak to strangers, how you act, how you hold yourself.

Food for thought, the next time some foul mouthed woman or man speaks to you here. Or uses you like some common dishrag.

I am in discussion with a wonderful one here. She is as intoxicating as honeysuckle.

So, I've been married and divorced x2. I have children. Been divorced for 4 years. What is the big deal? What? Think I'm on the rebound, guess what? No. I sleep very well at night and I'm not horndogging like others are on here. So, if that doesn't say enough about me, then you're making a judgement- and it's the wrong one.

I am mystified and enthralled by a certain member here. Hmmmm.

Wasteland

I stand here
Within a wasteland

Devoid of life
Absence of color

No moisture
No sunlight

Only the vast expanse
Of a desolate horizon

Subdued lighting
And constant mournful winds

No shelter
No haven

No paradise
Only Purgatory

My heart weeps blood
And my pain is my only companion

A poem from long ago.

You and You Alone

You say you hear me, but you are deaf.

You say you see me, but you are blind.

You say you feel me, yet you are unfeeling.

You say I please you, yet you are never happy.

You say I am wonderful, yet you demonstrate disgust.

You say you care for me, except you will raise your hand against me.

You say that you have found your soul mate, yet your soul is empty.

You say you will share your life with me, yet you share nothing.

You say that you will honor me, yet you honor only yourself.

You say that you will be beside me throughout all the tempests of the world, yet you run and hide.

You say you only want the best for us, yet "us" is comprised of only you.

You say that you will work with me, yet you quit when it does not suit you anymore to do so.

Ultimately; you say that you love me, yet your love is only for you and you alone.

`````

And; as this life, so freely given to you, becomes downtrodden and withers, your selfishness grows like a cancer.

When I excise myself from you, you play the wounded party.

You are the hurt one. Not me.

You deserve nothing of me, despite all you do to punish me for leaving, except my pity.

Another musing.

Lilith

It is midnight,
the witching hour upon this All Hallows eve.

I am alone, in bed.
Asleep, yet not asleep.
Restless for some reason, I cannot fathom.
My skin prickles and itches with an unspoken desire.

I shrug to myself.
Nerves, I say. Such paltry folly of mankind.
I roll over, and fall into a heavy delerium.

I awake.
And perceive a misty apparition.

She is here.

Never have I seen such beauty.
Her long, thick, flowing hair. Dark and seemingly alive all of its own.
Her skin, pale as a china doll's, and as flawless as a diamond.
Her lips, full and ripe. Moist with a dewey nectar that I lust to taste.
Her eyes; almond shaped, dark, and bottomless pools of eros.
Her body is full and rubenesque. Well endowed and ripe.

She is beautiful.

Is this a dream? Am I not awake?
I must be, for no such perfection has visited upon me in all my days.

I begin to arise, but she places a perfectly manicured hand upon my shoulder, and I slump back onto the bed. As if she suddenly drained my energy.

She walks to the other side of my bedchamber, and doffs her diaphanous gown. Bestowing my visage with
an image of perfection.

I watch as she moves towards me, and lays herself gently beside me.

She removes the covers from me, and uses a scarlet nail to trace patterns on my chest. Deftly flicking my nipples with the tip of that nail, causing electric shocks of pleasure to invade my body.

She kisses me, and I taste her.
She is as sweet as honey, as moist as the ocean.
Her mouth and tongue makes my heart pound in my chest, akin to a basso drum.

My desire manifests itself with a painful erection.

She deftly moves, and places herself above me.
That velvet channel, dripping with excitement, hovers just above my erect manhood. Spattering it with dew.

Her hands grip both of my shoulders, nails winnowing into my flesh. Blood seeps from all ten wounds, yet I do not care of the pain or pressure, as her grip increases.

She plunges down upon me. Impaling herself with me.
I growl in supreme desire.

She moves rapidly. I cannot, and will not, stop her.
She is forcing me into release.

I groan with the feel of her surrounding me. And even more so, now that she drapes herself upon me totally. Kissing my neck, as she prepares to receive my seed.

My groans turn into animal sounds, as my body begins to expend its lifeforce deep inside this woman.
Her lips fasten upon my neck, and teeth scrape my skin.

My fluid erupts, and I scream with erotic passion and release.

At that moment, she plunges her fangs deeply into my neck. The razor-sharp, enameled rapiers violate my flesh. Burrowing deeply until they find my vein. Blood bursts within her mouth, and she suckles greedily. She worries the two wounds, and blood flows even more rapidly.

I scream, full of rage and pain, release and lust. As she sups from me.

Soon, she stops her rape of me. Her blood-soaked mouth kisses mine. She tells me to sleep, and removes herself from beside me.

I, so weak and lethargic, attempt to speak. I manage to ask her who is she?

She laughs. Peals of a harp are put to shame with that delicate mirth from her mouth.

She sits beside me, and caresses my face.
As that of a lover.

"You already know who I am."

A short story I wrote. Such are the musings in my mind.

Exquisite Love

I AM IN MY BED CHAMBER. PREPARING FOR SLUMBER.
I GO TO MY WINDOW AND LOOK OUT, UP AT THE SHIMMERING CURTAIN OF NIGHT. THE STARS APPEAR AS PINPRICK SPATTERS OF WHITE PAINT, UPON A BLACK TAPESTRY. THE MOON, IN ALL ITS GLORY, SENDS ITS NIGHTLY RAYS DOWN UPON A SLUMBERING PORTION OF THE WORLD.

I TURN FROM THE WINDOW, AND LAY DOWN IN MY BED.
ALONE AGAIN, FOR THE NIGHT.
I SIGH. SUCH IS THE LIFE OF A MAN THAT IS NOT AT PEACE.
I THINK OF IT NO MORE, AND EXTINGUISH THE LIGHT.
DISCONTENT AND ALONE.

AS I SLUMBER, I DO NOT AWAKEN AS THE FIRST TENDRILS OF A BLUISH MIST BEGIN TO POUR FORTH, FROM UNDER MY WINDOWSILL.

THIS MIST, HEAVY AND ETHEREAL, MOVES WITH PURPOSE. IT SPILLS DOWN THE WALL, AND SPREADS OUT ALONG THE FLOOR.
HOWEVER, IT MOVES WITH AN ODD PURPOSE.
WOULD I HAVE BEEN A WITNESS TO IT, I WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT IT WEAVES ITS WAY, PAST OBJECTS, TOWARDS ME.

IT GATHERS, AND BEGINS TO PILE UPON ITSELF. LAYER UPON LAYER, FOLDS OVER. THE MOUND GROWS. SOON IT IS AS TALL AS A HUMAN BEING. EYES, THE IRISES DEEPLY EMERALD AND WITH A HAUNTING GLOW, BEGIN TO FORM. SOON SKIN FORMS OVER THE MIST, GIVING SOLIDITY TO SOMETHING THAT WAS ETHEREAL. HAIR FORMS, WHERE MEDUSA-LIKE TENDRILS WERE. CLOTHING BEGINS TO COVER THE SKIN.
LASTLY, DESPITE THE EYES, THE FACE FORMS. SKIN, CREAMILY WHITE. LIPS FULL AND BEE STUNG. HAIR, BLACK AS MIDNIGHT. FINGERNAILS, CONTRITELY LONG, BUT SHARP, PAINTED SCARLET.

A SOFT SOUND OF AIR, BEING INHALED AND EXPELLED ESCAPES THOSE LIPS.

IT IS BEAUTIFUL, AND ANGELIC.
THE FACE OF A WOMAN.
ONE THAT WOULD STOP EVEN THE CHASTEST MAN ON THE STREET, FOR A SECOND LOOK.

YET, THIS BEAUTY HOLDS A DEADLY SECRET. AND A POWER MANKIND HAS YET TO HARNESS, BUT WOULD NOT DARE.

SHE MOVES BESIDE MY BED, AND LOOKS DOWN UPON ME. AN EXPRESSION OF; PITY? COMPASSION? SADNESS? OR LOVE? CROSSES HER FEATURES.

SHE TAKES HER HAND, AND GENTLY RUNS IT UP AND DOWN ALONG MY ARM. AS IF STROKING A BABY.
I SIGH. UNKNOWINGLY, ACKNOWLEDGING HER PRESENCE.

SHE SMILES NOW. AND MOVES TO LAY DOWN BESIDE ME. FACING ME FROM BEHIND. HER HEAD PROPPED BY ONE HAND.

WHEN SHE DOES, I DO NOT STIR. NOT A WHIMPER ESCAPES MY SLEEPING FORM.

SHE TRACES A FINGERNAIL FROM MY SHOULDER, DOWN MY ARM, TO MY HAND, AND BACK. THE RAZORSHARP NAIL LEAVING A RED TRACE.
I GROAN WITH A SHUDDER. ALMOST AWAKENING.

SHE SMILES, AND SUCH IS BEAUTIFUL.

SHE LEANS FORWARD AND WHISPERS INTO MY EAR ABOUT BEING ALONE. THAT IT IS NOT GOOD, AND SHE IS ALONE AS I AM.

I MUMBLE IN MY SLEEP STATE THAT IT IS NOT GOOD TO BE THAT WAY.
I AWAKEN AT THAT, AND BEING TO TURN OVER, TO SEE THIS INTRUDER.

SHE GRIPS MY SHOULDER, THE NAILS SLIGHTLY DENTING MY SKIN, FIRMLY. SHE TELLS ME TO REMAIN STILL. DO NOT MOVE.

SHE TELLS ME THAT IT IS ALL RIGHT TO BE SCARED, BUT DO NOT BE. SHE IS A FRIEND. SHE WISHES TO END MY LONG PAIN OF SOLACE.

I ASK HOW? HOW CAN SHE DO THIS?
MY BODY IS TENSE WITH A DESIRE TO ESCAPE THIS WOMAN.
HOW DID SHE GET IN? WHY DOES HER VOICE SEEM FAMILIAR?

SHE HEARS THIS, ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE, RUSHING THROUGH MY HEAD.

SHE TELLS ME TO HUSH. SHUSHING ME, AS A MOTHER COOS TO HER CHILDREN WHEN THEY CANNOT SLEEP.

SHE ASKS ME IF I WISH TO REMAIN ALONE, ALL OF MY LIFE. ALWAYS GIVING OF MYSELF, NOT RECEIVING ANYTHING IN RETURN.
MY ANSWER IS, PREDICTABLY, NO.

SHE WHISPERS TO ME TO NOT FIGHT HER. AND WITH THAT, GENTLY AND FIRMLY, PUSHES MY SHOULDER DOWN. HER OTHER HAND, NOW DIVESTED OF ITS OTHER LABOR, LOVINGLY ENCOMPASSES THE SIDE OF MY HEAD AND FACE.

SHE HOLDS ME THERE. HER GRIP STEADFAST, BUT LOVINGLY GENTLE. MASSAGING MY SHOULDER, GENTLY STROKING MY HEAD.

SHE LEANS CLOSER, AND KISSES MY NECK. BUTTERFLY KISSES THAT TICKLE THE SKIN, AND ENTICE THE MIND.

SHE WHISPERS TO ME OF LOVE, OF ENDING THE SOLITARY EXISTANCE THAT CURSES ME.

TEARS SPILL FROM MY EYES, AS SOBS BEGIN TO WRACK MY FORM.
YES, YES I SAY. I DO NOT WISH TO BE ALONE ANYMORE.

SHE SMILES, AND REPLIES THAT SHE CAN END THAT EXISTANCE. AND SHE WILL DO SO.

SHE CLOSES HER EYES FOR A MOMENT, AND FEELS THE SADNESS FLOOD HER. SHE KNOWS THIS PAIN, THIS VOID.

SHE OPENS HER BEAUTIFUL MOUTH. LONG, SHARP, VENOMOUS FANGS GLEAM IN THE DARKNESS.

SHE MOVES HER HEAD DOWN, AND RESTS HER RAPIERS JUST ABOVE THE PULSING ARTERY. I FEEL THEM, AND THEIR SHARPNESS TICKLES THE SKIN.

SHE PAUSES, THEN BRINGS HER MOUTH SLOWLY CLOSED.

I FEEL THE TWIN POINTS INCREASE IN PRESSURE, AND FEEL THE TWIN SCYTHES DIG THEIR WAY TO THE PRIZE.

THE PAIN! OH, THE DELICIOUS AND AGONIZING PAIN! MY MOUTH OPENS TO SCREAM, BUT NOTHING COMES FORTH. I CAN ONLY GASP IN WRITHING ECSTASY AND SHOCK.

SOON HER FANGS PENETRATE, AND LIFEBLOOD EXPLODES AROUND HER TEETH, INTO HER MOUTH. STAINING MY PILLOW, HEATING MY NECK, AND DRIPPING UPON THE SHEET.

SHE CLASPS HER LIPS UPON MY SKIN, AND GENTLE SUCKLING NOISES ISSUE FORTH FROM HER FORM.

SHE HOLDS ME STILL, FIRMLY BUT STILL GENTLY.
I GROW LETHARGIC, SLEEPY, AND COLD.

MY BREATH BECOMES MORE, AND MORE SHALLOW. I REALIZE I AM DYING, AND INSTINCT TAKES OVER.

I TRY TO FIGHT, TO GET AWAY. BUT I AM TOO WEAK.
SHE KNOWS THIS, AND COOS TO ME INSIDE MY HEAD.
JUST A LITTLE MORE, A LITTLE MORE.

SHE WITHDRAWS HER FANGS AND MOUTH. BLOOD TRICKLES DOWN MY NECK. BARELY A RIVULET OF CRIMSON REMAINS.

SHE REACHES AROUND MY WEAK AND DYING FORM, AND PULLS ME TO HER. ROCKING BACK AND FORTH. COOING TO ME TO LET GO. CODDLING ME AS AN INFANT.

AS I INHALE MY LAST WEAK, SHALLOW BREATH, I HAVE NOW KNOWN, AND HAVE FOUND, LOVE.

Another poem, one written at a time I was extremely bitter:

Putrid Excuse

You are a miserable excuse for a person.

You prey upon others’ generosity,
You attempt to charm your way into their hearts,
You want to use their goodness for your own lack of esteem.
You want to voice your own opinion, and be damned of the consequences.
You want to spend others’ money, but to hell and perdition if you want to spend YOURS
You so do not want to hear advice.
You do not wish to learn wisdom.
You do not wish to care about anyone; except for yourself.

You are the most vile of filthy scum I have every met.

You claim to love people, but inside it’s all about YOU.
You claim to care about people; but only when it suits YOU.
You haven’t a care about hurting people- or their feelings, but the world be damned (!) if YOUR feelings-opinions-voice are hurt!

Your laziness oozes from you like the stench of death,
Your attitude of ME-ME-ME, is so visible as the sun’s rays.
Your willingness to open your putrid mouth and spout your stupidity to the world, is on par with that of the fool that dances in front of a hungry lion.
You are not ready for life, but you want to so much to rush into death’s waiting arms.

You disgust me.
You are the garbage of this world.
You are nothing to me.
You have no worth to me.
You sicken me; I want to vomit my knowledge of you, out of my system.
You are a parasite, only to be purged and eliminated.

You are a fool.
You are an idiot.
You are null and void.
And I shall NOT mourn your passing, only your fellow maggots will.
You are no one.
Nothing.

Farewell to you,
Good riddance to you,
Go screw yourself, you know how; you do it every day.
Go to hell, heaven, or wherever the afterlife takes you, and be damned.

Some of my poetry:

Elegantly Fragile

This heart of glass...

cracked, flawed, shattered inside.


it lays defenseless.
ready for destruction.

save for a tear shed for it,
and a faint voice,
it is ready for the end.

Since I do not share enjoyment in those that dabble or practice occultism in any way, shape, or format, it is disappointing that so many do practice it, yet it does not appear on their profiles. These jerks need to get their affairs in order and actually put down they practice this. I am sick and tired of this occultism shit being thrust in my face and told that I have to be PC and accept it. Here's a hint for those people, since you are on the express train to hades- fuck off. That is rather undignified of  me, but it is the truth and I do not mince words for the fools of this world.

I have met some interesting people on here. And some I have come to, for lack of a better word, begin a dialogue with. There are those here that have no idea of what being a sub or a slave is. As well as those that have no idea how to be a Dom/Domme. Some that I have encounters as a female sub/slave, are no better than the hookers on a street corner. The only difference between the two is that one is paid for their services. Who wants to sleep with a sloppy seconds cumcatcher? Oh well, if that is the way they want to live, so be it. I'll send them flowers in the hospital if they wind up with an STD or some other disease process they can't get rid of because they lack control over their bodies.