fieryphoenix

Quotes ..

The man who is proudly certain of his own value will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer, because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut.

~Ayn Rand~

Married men .. liers and cheaters .. here are a few ..

Why .. why do this .. why think you can get away with it .. when women talk to each other constantly .. this is a very very veery small communiuty .. those of us who have been around here for 5 or 6 years .. know of .. or at least have heard of each other ..and unlike you scum bags ..we have respect for each other .. and will warn each other of little worms like you .. so .. dont both .. just dont fucking bother .. we dont want need .. or even wish know you .. go fuck your wife ..

Its funny that they think that fooling a vanilla wife .. who knows no better .. that its just as easy to fool us more wily BDSM subbies .. we are not as gullable .. nor naive .. we are very good at NLP .. body language .. and lying through omission .. we watch for patterns of behaviour .. we have radar for lies .. it may take us a week or two .. but by 6 weeks .. we know .. yes .. we fucking know .. go fuck your wife ..

Some of us get taken in .. by the wit and charm .. but .. lets face it .. it wont last long .. we need more than lies and deceipt .. we EXPECT more from you lying worms of deciept .. and to be honest .. you are not worth our time or effort .. we belong to the Men who have honesty and integrity .. you .. little worm have nothing to offer us .. us women .. who could give you so much .. and are open to the whole spectrum .. you .. little worms .. dont deserve to speak to us . . let along look at our photos .. let alone expect any time or energy from us .. go fuck your wife ..

You little worms .. deserve and will get .. NOTHING .. from us submissive women .. go fuck your wife .. end of !!

Here are a few .. just a few ..

deathstalker90 (previously dominus) he`s married and lies through his teeth about everything, and yes, i outed him to his wife, but he just changed his profile name.

masterchris2515 on CollarMe .. Masterchris2 on here - tells you he`s single, but has been with the same woman (vanilla) for 6 years and they had a baby last week. i know this to be the case as i know a fellow sub who knows him well.

giancarlos, aka gica on alt.com. his wife found his phone and contacted me, he had been lying to me for quite a while. unfortunately his wife and home were in switzerland so alot of the usual BS telltale signs weren`t there.

sadogiver married, she found emails on his laptop and mailed me....

bigguy64; he finally admitted to being married eventually, but only because i caught him out on various lies and inconsistencies. he claimed to be keeping a slave in the barn because his wife was terminally ill in the house! he claims to be single, i have spoken to other subs who say he said the same to them... single; a singular moron maybe!

another one; Harshsmile, only confessed to being married after weeks and weeks of chatting with him.

imcherub; asked if he was married, give him his due he said yes, but when asked why this rather important piece of info isnt on his profile, he replied " if you look carefully at the photo you can see the ring"!!!! is it me?!

Sadness ..

All encompassing sadness ..
Knowing me ..
Is feeling my sadness ..
Understanding me ..

Is to understand my sadness ..
My rage .. My internal struggles ..
My Victorian vanilla ..
Verses my compliant slave ..

This is my daily struggle ..
It frustrates me ..
confounds me ..
Restricts me ..

The sadness ..
the rage ..
the passion ..
the Struggle ..

To know me is to feel my sadness ..
But no-one can feel it ..
Only I can feel it ..
Overwelming me ..

Flooding my thoughts ..
As tears stream my face ..
such a stubborn one ..
So picky ..

Perpetuating the sadness ..
Increasing the internal turmoil ..
Its raw beauty ..
In a tear ..

fee ..
March 2013

Hiya ..

My name is fee .. nice to virtually-meet you and thank you for stopping by my page .. I am a creative and curious creature .. i love art .. photography .. poems .. writing .. a creative cerebral being in fact .. music touches me .. so do poignant stories .. either fact or fiction .. beaches and water .. love water .. sadly .. I live in land-locked Nottingham .. but always love a trip to the seaside .. hehehe ..

Started modelling just under 3 years ago .. so all photos are less than 3 years old .. just for clarity ..

I am single and looking .. Just for information .. so that no-ones time is wasted ..

Answers to questions:

1) Yes they are real;

2) No I dont want casual sex;

3) No I dont want a fuck-buddy; friend-with-benefits or play-mate;

4) No I wont send nude photos;

5) Yes that is my real age.

Vital Statistics:

Bra: 38 JJ

Waist: Dress Size 16-18

Hips: Dress Size 16

Insided Leg: 32 inches

Height: 5'9 - Over 6 ft in heels

I am a BBW female submissive slave .. Looking for a single Dominant male .. who is looking to move towards a Long Term relationship .. I do not do online .. only real life .. flesh is best ..
My TSR ref is 552-352-197 ..

I have an account also .. https://.com/users/60162 .. under fiery_phoenixx ..

BBW (this term means that I am over a size UK 16 .. as my bust is larger than a size 16 .. it DOES NOT mean I am a lazy girl .. I cycle 13 miles per day .. 5 days per week .. I am just trying to be honest .. as online is difficult to judge sizes etc!!) ..  submissive with slave tendancies .. 

I am an Artist .. Fashion Designer (latex and fabric) .. Model .. Photographer ..  Writer .. Mother .. Entrepreneur .. as well as a submissive with slave tendencies too .. simply complicated indeed .. hehehe

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley

Submissive/slaves Owner's Manual

I need to feel safe

I need to know You accept me for all I am

I need to have clearly defined limits

I need You to be consistent

I need to expand my limits

I need You to teach me

I need goals

I need to be corrected

I need You to be my role-model

I need Your approval and reassurance

I need to be able to express myself

I need to learn from my mistakes

I need forgiveness when I fail You

I need to feel I contribute

I need to enjoy successes

I need to share with You

I need to feel loved, respected, and protected in Your ownership

In return this slave will give .. 

herself .. her whole self .. nothing held back ..

her undying devotion ..

her loyalty ..

her fielty ..

her love and affection ..

her body will be Yours .. to do with as You see fit ..

her body to use and abuse ..

her resolve to be pleasing to You at all times ..

her abilties to make You laugh ..

her skills to entertain You ..

her mind in all its complexities ..

her mind for You to mould ..

her mind for You to shape ..

her skills and interests ..Yours to use as You see fit ..

If I am not what You are looking for .. I wish You good hunting .. and i hope You find Your girly ..

fee ..

xxx

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

Between 12 and 15 is average.
Celebrities often score closer to 18.
Narcissists score over 20.

I scored 9 ..

Authority: 3.00
Self-Sufficiency: 3.00
Superiority: 0.00
Exhibitionism: 1.00
Exploitativeness: 1.00
Vanity: 0.00

Entitlement: 1.00

that was interesting ..

fee . .
xxx

Slave staus ..

I am stuggling at the moment ..
struggling to understand what makes me
a slave .. i thought I knew ..
instinctively .. my first Master ..
knew me .. and knew that I was indeed
His slave .. but not a slave to many ..
a slave to one .. one Master only ..
and He earnt the slave in me .. He
earnt it with His intelligence and His
knowledge of me .. learned over a
period of time .. but .. some seem to
thing that status .. means I am
instantly theirs .. just because they
messaged me .. and said hello .. it
takes more than just a hello to get
into my cunt .. sorry .. but it does ..

I am more than just a slave .. I am
many things to many people .. many
things to my many friends .. A multi-
faceted person .. with lots of
interests and a very creative person
all round .. an acute sense of humour
.. a very passionate and emotional
person ..

I see more than what is visible in
someone .. I see by someones actions
how they are as a person .. sometimes
it is a warm glow I get .. sometimes it
is a dark splat on humanity .. and not
a pleasant experience .. sometimes it
is a soft and hard experience together
.. these are the people I choose to be
my close friends .. almost a mirror of
myself .. sometimes soft .. and
sometimes hard with a backbone .. and a
hardness that I respect ..

The times I struggle the most .. are
when I am single .. I feel lost and
just cant seem to trust anyone new ..
so makes my task of finding a Master ..
very difficult .. almost impossible ..
I test and scrutinise .. not things a
slave should do .. but i cant help it
.. I cant just hand over my collar to
anyone who thinks I look cute .. I dont
seem to be able to give control to
someone who is not more than me ..who
is not more intelligent .. or more
cerebral than I am .. for me its not
just about sex and sexual chemistry ..
it goes much deeper than that ..

I never go back to my exes either .. so
I am stuck in the middle ground .. too
afraid to trust a random and too
stubborn to go back to an ex that did
not work .. lost indeed ..

I have been trying to work out why
communication is so improtant to me ..
I think its mainly due to my first
Master dying of cancer and I did not
find out for certain that He had died
for 2 months afterwards .. every day ..
I woke up sending Him message after
message ..every day .. I cried myself
to sleep in absolute grief every night
.. not knowing what had happend .. just
feeling how much it hurt to not know ..
I did that for 2 months .. my friends
tried to help .. they tried to comfort
me .. even one tried to be my Master ..
but it was not to be .. I was too greif
stricken .. and just backed away from
the site that had helped me grow and
become the person i am today .. it hurt
too much to go into that chat room ..
too many memories .. of sad times .. I
do visit that chat room sometimes to
say hiya to old friends .. but i cant
stay in there too long .. it simply
hurts too much still .. even now .. 5
years later on .. I still remember Him
.. still remember what He tried to
teach me and for me to learn .. so He
is remembered .. bitter memories though
some of them are .. and hard lessons I
learned .. but I remember them still ..

So .. because of that .. I need
communication .. I need to know that
someone I care about is ok .. and
nothing drastic has happened to them ..
perhaps that makes me needy .. I dont
know .. its just that I feel sick with
worry if I dont hear from Him .. at
least once a day .. is that normal ..
or just a bit too needy .. I am not
sure now ..

This is why ignoring me is so
destructive .. it is one of the factors
for me to just shut down .. its like a
light switch being switched off .. it
is not effective at bringing me back
into line .. it just makes me more
stubborn .. and less co-operative .. I
draw my shell closed .. and you have to
do more work to open me back up again
.. some dont seem to understand this ..
but hey ho ..

fee ..
xxx

Nov 2012

Its not enough ..

Its not enough to just have the chemistry ..
And rely on that and that alone ..
there has to be substance to it ..
A reality all of its own ..

No communication ..
equals .. no relationship ..
Its so simple ..
why is it so hard ??

For you to see that its not me ..
I try .. I try my best ..
You seem to be so stubborn ..
In your Dom101 .. strategy ..

Must not give in to anything ..
Must never allow any leaway ..
Must not let her see any weakness ..
Or she will exploit it ..

You never answered any of my questions ..
It was like talking to a black hole ..
Someone who was a ghost ..
There but not there ..

Giving your orders ..
Barking them at me ..
Why .. no need to SHOUT ..
I can read lower case perfectly well ..

why did it never work with us ..
Because you gave me nothing ..
we have known each other over a year now ..
and still you dont trust me ..

Not at all ..
If you dont trust me now ..
You never will ..
I will not change ..

I am the same as I was last year ..
No different ..
I tell it how it is ..
No lies .. no bullshit ..

Yet still you think I am a bunny boiler ..
You still do not give me any information ..
Nothing .. precisely nothing ..
Its not enough ..

It will never be enough ..
Never enough to simply exist ..
I need to feel flesh against me ..
Against my face ..

My arms and legs ..
Flesh .. the heat .. the smell ..
The taste .. of hot sweaty flesh ..
Thats what I need ..

You seem unable to give that ..
so be it ..
I will continue to find someone ..
who can give me that part of themselves ..

I will leave you with this saying ..
"If you do what you have always done ..
You will get what you always get" ..
and that is NOTHING ..

fee ..
Oct 2012

I have rules ..

yes .. funny that huh ..

well .. not funny for me ..

I stick to them rigidly ..

They have kept me safe and sound ..

My rules are my safety net . .

Rule No.1 ..

I do not fuck shag or play with randoms .. met in a club or online .. this is not a game to me .. I am NOT nor will I ever be a BDSM swinger ..

Rule No.2 ..

If after speaking with someone online continuously after a month .. and we have not met .. nor made a plan to meet .. then dont be surprised .. if I cool off .. back away .. and just chat as friends ..

oh .. and if mobile or other details have not been exchanged .. that is a bit dodgy in my book .. so I suspect that they are in a relationship or married .. which leads me to Rule No. 5 ..

Rule No.3 ..

I do NOT EVER wish to do cam shit .. it is meaningless .. it does not show my obedience .. it does nothing for my self esteem or self confidence .. in fact it damages it .. quicker and with such veracity .. that it is simply not worth doing .. if it continues to be an issue .. I will walk .. simples ..

Rule No.4 ..

My 3 month rule .. this is for both parties .. if after 3 months .. we are both not happy as pigs in shit .. then I discuss my issues .. if it can not be resolved .. and is not going to get better after time .. then I finish it .. and hopefully we can remain friends ..

Rule No.5 ..

I dont date or otherwise play with married men .. men in other vanilla relationships .. or who already have subs .. its always been my rule .. but some seem to think I cant smell a lie .. trust me .. I can .. its easy ..

To be continued ..

I WAS looking for a relationship with an open minded intelligent Dominant male .. who is happy and strong enough to accept me for the person I am .. but allow me the freedom and offer me guidance to my submission .. I have a slave heart for the right Dominant .. I am certainly not a doormat .. I am indeed a strong alpha female .. with all that entails ..

But I have since come to the realisation that if and when it happens it will be out of my control .. what will be .. will be .. 

From now on .. I am quite happy to be SINGLE AND NOT LOOKING .. just here to keep in touch with my friends and to perve .. obviously .. hehehe . .

take care all .. and be well .. 

fee ..

xxx

I am NOT a Domme .. yes I know I look like I SHOULD be a Domme .. but really .. I am not .. Looks are deceptive and just because you think I would make a good Domme .. does not make it so .. 

I am a fully qualified Fashion Designer with a Masters Degree in shoe design .. my BBW/Curvy Fetish Fashion website is http://www.phoenixxdesigns.co.uk ..

I am a BBW/Curvy Model .. I only work with talented established referenced photographers .. I do not allow any type of play on shoots .. I am a professional non-professional .. please bare that in mind when messaging me for shoots .. I do not take paid work .. as I wish to be able to have use of the images once taken ..

"It means nothing to dominate the weak...it is a badge of honor, to Dominate the strong. Give Me a strong, confident, assertive woman......who kneels submissively at My feet, and I will show you a slave worth owning."

'Love is giving someone the ability to destroy You, but trusting them enough not to .. '

Obedience + need to please = good submissive 

Communication + honesty = trust 

Sensuous + open mind = sexually pleasing

Understanding + patience = True Master

-----------------------------------------------

A mediocre Master tells;

An average Master instructs; 

A good Master teaches; 

A True Master inspires.

About phoenix ..

phoenixx 44F (years of age) slave; Nottingham, United Kingdom

Relationship Status: Single

D/s relationship status: slave; Single

Orientation: Fluctuating/Evolving

Active: I Live It 24/7

Is looking for: LTR; Master; Friendship; Events

TSR: 552-352-197

Physical Measurements:

< 5'9 - 175 cm ..

< 40 GG ..

< Extremely Curvy ..

< Long Black hair with blue fringe ..

< Alabaster skin ..

< Intelligent and inquisitive mind ..

This is the results of my test ..

*Experimental              100%

*Submissive                   86%

*Degradation Lover       82%

*Bondage                      71%

*Masochist                     64%

*Exhibitionist / Voyeur   61%

*Switch                          54%

*Sadist                           32%

*Vanilla                           29%

*Dominant                        4%

"LivelyFunHappySurvivorHeartintactPunkGothGirlyCreativeImaginativeSoulfulSpiritualLoyalHonestSincereAppreciatedNuturingCherishingIncitefulInquisitiveSensualSeductiveEroticKinkyndlyLifelonglearnerInsecureUnworthyComplicatedIntenseSexyeyesPlayfulIntelligentCaringUnderstandingBraveArtisticInnocentNaivePassionateEnthusiasticAdaptableFlexibleSensibleHopefulPatientAlternativeWellmanneredSmilerAffectionateObediantServileExpressiveCrieseasilyMusicalWriterNoisySpontaniousDaringHardnuttocrackSkittishmareFragileStrongPeoplepleaserAlphaRespectful"

I identify as a slave to my Master - contrary to popular belief .. that does not mean .. I am a slave to everyone and anyone who happens to think I might be useful to them for whatever reason!!

My submission is precious to me .. thats why I do not play with just ANYONE .. I am an alpha female .. so some might say I am a challenge .. others might say I am a treasure .. my mind is active and always in control .. even when that control is in the hands of my Master ..

I have been told I have an insightful and intuitive mind .. and I never stop thinking .. to some Doms/Masters that can be a daunting thing to witness .. but to others including my own Master .. who embrace me for who and what I am .. it can a most interesting of experiences ..

The M/s scenario for me is one of a symbiotic partnership .. rather than a parasitic one .. I take my role seriously .. I try my absolute best to give Him anything and everything He desires .. both of my mind, body, spirit and soul .. and in return .. He shows me wonders and pleasures I have never known before ..

[heading] slave phoenix

This girl is a young at heart playful .. giggly slavegirl .. who does not push her Dominant .. she is very servile .. and craves control from her One .. knowing that He does so from a controlled place in His mind .. she has the utmost respect for Him .. and what He offers her .. 

She has only known about the Lifestyle for just over 4 years .. so is a novice in all respects .. however .. she has done her homework .. and is well grounded in the theorys behind much of what the Lifestyle has to offer .. and therefore is not to be underestimated in her background knowledge .. its just her physical knowledge that is lacking .. 

This girl is a fully qualified fashion designer .. secretary .. digital artist .. and shoe designer .. she has many and varied interests .. which span the whole cross section of design and media .. 

She has also embarked on modeling both her own clothes and pushing her own boundaries to enable her to be more accepting of her body .. and to embrace, accept and appreciate it for what it is ..

Ok .. here are some blindingly obvious hard limits .. No children, animals or scat ..

Hope you enjoy Your visit to my lil piece of CM ..

fee .. 

xxx