The other day, I was talking to someone who asked me about mentoring. They could see that I have several mentees listed in my d/s relationships, and they had a genuine question. They been approached by another "mentor" (and I use that word lightly for that person acting as the mentor), and once the dynamic began, the mentor began giving orders, setting tasks, asking for photos, and other self serving things. If you have a mentor, and that mentor even remotely hints that they want to engage in a dynamic that does anything but provide you with platonic advice and guidance, then let that raise a fucking huge red flag. If that occurs, simply run like fuck. Mentoring is about guiding you. Not ordering you. If someone wants to order you to do debauched things, then that is a very different dynamic indeed. Fair enough if in a sexual or kink dynamic, as your Master, Dom, Domme or even trainer. But not as a Mentor. The mentor role is an advisory one. A role of trust.
In kink, a mentor is essentially an experienced person that you obtain unbiased and impartial advice from. Someone that has knowledge and/or experience, and is truly willing to share that knowledge with you, without agenda. Someone that you learn from. Someone that gives you suggestions that are unbiased. Answers to questions that are impartial, clear and concise. Presented to you in a blunt and honest way. Honesty that can be down to earth, brutal and very straightforward. Not sugar coated. No bias. No sexual connotations. A mentor does not allow personal emotions cloud the answer provided. And no embarrassment occurs, as the dynamic is platonic, and thus does not allow emotions to get involved, that can often cloud the judgment when discussing taboo based items).
A mentor does not train the mentee. The mentor does not have an intimate sexual or physical relationship with the mentee. As a mentor, you act impartially. No interest in personal gain, and no personal agenda. Totally unbiased. The role is to teach and to guide. To walk the mentee through that massive maze of kink information that batters and confuses them. To offer advice. Suggestions. Answers. Guidance.
Mentoring is a relaxing thing for me. I do it to guide and empower others, but also to allow me to endure and allow it to teach me patience and humility. There is no sexual innuendo or contact. Their is no pressure of a standard dynamic. And it is truly fun to watch a person grow from (often) a state of naivety (innocence) and confusion, into a strong independent and empowered individual, who often in turn ends up mentoring and guiding others.
Its a selfless act. You don't gain sexual satisfaction, you don't get a physical prize, you don't often get recognition. But it's not about getting any of that. It allows you to learn about, and understand, true humility. The fact that someone asks you for guidance, and you provide the guidance, with an impartial, unbiased and transparent view on things, which in turn allow them to make a better informed choice, based upon the information you provide. The choice that allows them to absorb that information, then grow and evolve. Safely. And it is for this reason and this reason only that I do it