earthfire

Best wishes and blessings -  to all  - in the new year. 

My sweet Sir and I have been together for two years now :)
I am blessed to have found someone with whom I am able to share all aspects of my life. 
We are able to meld this part of our lives with our everyday activities in a way that is pleasing to both of us. 
There have been challenges - as with all relationships. 
Merging two households.  Work schedules.  Finances.  The everyday stuff all couples need to work through.

Then there is the extra stuff
There are those moments when friends or family are around when we  need to be "vanilla".   (With a bit of time, effort, and practice  we have found that we can transition from one role to the other). 
Hiding the crops and floggers when there is family down for the holidays. 
Coming up witha reasonable explanation for the chains under the bed.....
But...you work it all out.


I had thought it would be impossible to find the right person to share this experience with - but fate has been kind. 
I hope that those of you out there - honestly searching for someone to share  this life with - are as fortunate.  
t.

Tonight I witnessed a bit of societal evolution(or dissolution depending on your perspective).  
Mainstream television show-Bones - features Pony Play. 
Due to the anthropological twist on the show they even provide the history and sexual psychology behind it. 
I continue to be amazed at what is now acceptable fodder for prime time consumption. 
Part of me celebrates this episode for being able to incorporate this lifestyle variant into a plot in an intelligent manner.
Part of me is appalled that another bit of sexuality has made its way into so many homes without warning. 
I still believe there is a time and place for everything. 
(Feelings aside: The costumes are really well done!)

The shadows of the past are deep this fall.

They  flow over every bright spot with malevolent intent.

The change in the air is foreboding.

The ghosts are restless tonight.

Choices
Cause and effect
Foresight and hindsight
Rememberance and regret
The human condition.

May the tempest tides wash our sins away
and let the lightning sear our souls.

May the gale winds rip through our self-delusions
and let the thunder create a discordant symphony in our hearts.

May we rise from the storm cleansed and renewed.

Peaches fresh from the tree.
Blackberies picked under the hot summer sun.
Chilled melon eaten on a warm evening.
Plums so ripe the juice runs down your chin.
Strawberries dipped in chocolate.
A warm member between waiting lips.
The pleasures of the season.

A kiss...
Such a small thing.
Something done everyday without thought or design.
But, something that can change your world forever.

A kiss...
Flesh upon flesh.
Warm breath mingling.
Two souls intertwined.
An ephemeral connection only spoken of in prophecy and mythos.
Perfect unity.

Such a small thing.
A kiss.

The wind blows softly.

My nipples stir under your gaze.

A storm is brewing.

Softly they creep, as quiet as the wings of a Luna Moth.
The memories of other times, other lives, other loves.
Rising gently on the waves of contentment, to surprise the unwary soul.
They cut deeply, these memories.  As deep as any blade forged by Masamune.
Reminders of past wrongs, spent passions, and unrequited love.
These memories swirl and spin like a tempest caught within a witches' ball.
To be free of them would be a blessing, as well as a curse.

So we go on. 

The tide will turn.  
The new cuts will heal.  
The winds will die.
And the past will find its place once more. 

Until the next shift in the weather.
Then the cycle will begin anew. 

The need grows.

Daily it gains strength and power.

Unending craving.

Pain.
Something we all have.
Something we all deal with.
Whether physical or emotional it's our constant companion.
Our secret lover in the night. 
We all have our tricks and tacks to cope.
Prayers and supplication.
Drugs and alcohol.
Meditation and relaxation.
Destruction and self -flagellation.
And yet it remains.
A constant reminder that we are, in fact, alive.

One's past is like a great anchor
   ever dragging one down...
Down to the depths of hell.

The tentacles of the past slither and crawl
   they pull and tug one down...
Down into the pain of memories.

The beautiful shining light of hope
   can only penetrate so far down...
Down into the murky darkness.

A glimmer of hope and a moment of peace
   all torn down...
Down, because of the fear from a memory.

Burning desire. 
An ache that cannot be soothed. 
A need that cannot be sated. 
No object can fill that place most tender,that belongs to Sir. 
Unquenched desire. 
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting. 
For His permission. 
For His approval.
For His indulgence. 
For the One whose touch will make the world seem insignificant.
The One who, through His gift of pain, will take away my pain and fill me with pleasure beyond imagining. 
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.

Filled, yet I remain empty without Him. 
Without Sir's touch I am nothing but a hollow shell. 
No one else can complete me. 
When I am with Him the sun is overshadowed by the warmth with which He infuses my soul. 
When we are apart I am but a child lost in the vast, cold darkness. 
I wait, with nothing but hope to comfort me, for some sign that He is near. 
His scent. 
The sound of His breath. 
The aura of His presence.
Sir is my world.
I am a mere vessel for His desires.
It is enough. 

There are no adequate words to describe the way Sir makes me feel.  
As cruel as He can be- He is gifted with a sensitivity that stirs my soul. 
He has a heart that is filled with laughter and yet He drives me to tears. 
I long for His touch and shiver in trepidation when it arrives. 
He brings me pleasure beyond anything I've ever known and chooses to deny me that pleasure.
A gentleman and a scoundrel. 
He is a conundrum.

How can simply serving bring one so much joy and serenity?  To bend to anothers will- out of desire and respect- is almost overwhelming emotionally.  Learning to submit to those things that were once outside my boundries is almost therapeutic in nature.  Each trial helps me grow in my submisison.  Each day striving to become more of what He desires.  My submission to Him  is my purpose, my reason for being.  My pennance is not being with Him every day.  It is like the sky has fallen grey and the day has grown cold.  Perhaps, one day, I will be worthy of being at His feet every day.  Until then I will continue to revel in the joy that serving brings and attempt to perfect my faults.