DWolf1006


DWolfe Male Dominant, 23, Essex County, New Jersey	DWolff Male Dominant, 30, Glenwood, Iowa	dwolfe5 Male Dominant, 24

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	About DWolf1006 I am DWolf. I am old, fat, scarred and tattooed. I look and often sound like Shrek, with a beard. I fight in armor for fun and I sing and compose poetry to soothe my soul. I am married to my lover and partner, who knows that I am seeking a slavegirl to enter our house...she both understands and accepts that this is so. We have no secrets between us. None. Ever. 1: I like inflicting pain. On you, on me, on him on her, on us... doesn't matter it's all good. 2: PAIN does not equal HARM. If I do actual, physical HARM it's not fun anymore. I am a trained medic...I know the difference. 3: Trust and affection and a good deal of COMMON F__ing SENSE is necessary or what you're doing isn't sadistic fun, it's abuse, assault and battery, assault with intent or agravated assault ( or worse in some cases). 4: Just because you're a sadist doesn't mean that you're "ALL-pain All the time". Doesn't work that way. It's the sauce, not the whole dish. It's the spice, not the meat and veg. It's that simple an equation. All else is knee-jerking, naysaying and nabobbery. We sadists like pain but we know what love is. We like pain but we know what tenderness is. We incorpaorate love, tenderness and pain into our way of loving. That's all that need be said. Think what ever else y'all like, but that's the truth.Will I cause you pain? Absolutely. Will I do you harm? Absolutely not. Will I keep you safe? Until my last breath. Will I make you into the model of submission and grace...Only you can answer. I give you my oath that I will dedicate myself to making you just that. All that remains is for you to be willing to become more than the sum of your parts. Are you ready? I have roughly twenty years of experience in both Master/slave and Dom/sub living. I have trained several slavegirls and I have outright owned a few...both long term and short. Some I woul'dve like to keep longer than I did. But life got in the way. I have time to devote to the adventure again. I want a slave, a lover, a partner in crime to myself and milady. I would prefer responses from women over 21 and under 50. Looks count , but not as much as intelligence and loyalty. Relocatable to Virginia is preferred. I don't poach... ever. BTW, if you own ,operate or coexist with a penis I am _NOT_interested...unless you are a VERY passable t-girl who can beat the 10' test "I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master. You have given me total access to your body, and I accept the responsibility and honor. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you. We are not equal. We complement each other . My desire to dominate you is instinctive. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural . " Ten things I have done that nobody else reading this has done... 1:Met Ian Anderson as well as being the scribe on an "Order of the Troubador" scroll given him by the East Kingdom(SCA). 2:Defused a nuclear weapon 3: told dirty jokes while defusing a nuclear weapon 4:Jumped out of a helo ,over water,at roughly 110 mph.>ow!< 5:Once told a King(SCA) to go to hell and gave him the gas money to get him there. 6: been buried alive...yes, buried. 7: Used a bayonet for its ACTUAL designed purpose 8: Used native (panamanian indian) "medicines" to "vision quest". 9: Worked in a medical school morgue as a work-study job at university. 10: Actually lived in a house in Scotland (where I was born) that was old when Columbus sailed to America. There you have it. Wanna know more? Ask me when I'm drunk...maybe I'll tell you. Another ten things things I have done that I suspect no one else has... 1: Spent a sunny Fall afternoon covered head to toe in baby raccoons. 2:held a recently living human brain in the palms of my hands. 3:Booby trapped a squadmate's room with trip-wires and artillery simulators 4:Caused a kingdom herald to "spit-take" during a royal court. (not pretty, never do this) 5:gotten busted playing dice with two parish priests by the principal(nun) of my Catholic grade school. 6:painted "Hah! Missed me" next to a bullet wipe on my Kevlar helmet. 7:paid the equivalent of several hundred dollars for a multi-course dinner where every dish(and I do mean "EVERY") was alive. (aren't the Japanese such clever people?) 8:Brained a second lieutenant with a chair during a fight in a German Gasthaus and got away with it. 9: used a pistol as a can-opener(long story) 10: jumped up and down on an armed landmine(anti-tank) without detonating it. and yet another ten: 1: climbed ALL the steps of The pyramid at Tehotihuacan on a bet 2: I have killed a man. Several actually( no, I didn't keep count), in combat in three different nations(Iraq, Kuwait and Panama). Not proud of it. But happy to be alive...they WERE trying to end me, after all. 3: Taught a class in herbal toxicology without a degree in botany, pharmacology or toxicology. The class was called "Herbal toxins of the Medieuropean boar) with spears 6:Given away thousands of dollars worth( figuring material costs and labor costs) of my artwork (calligraphy, leather and stained glass)free to people whom I barely knew. 7: Taught Japanese swordsmanship in my front yard (how I met my wife). 8: Handled National Security documents as part of my job. 9: Had a fully armored horse and rider accidentally stand on my foot. 10: Was once (as forfeit on a prank I had pulled) forced to appear as the Pope in public places for a year

That's it. I am fed up and done with this place. It has caused me nothing but disappointment and heartache to be here. Thus I depart. Thanks for nothing. If you want to talk to me I will be on

Have you ever reached the point where you're so sick of a lack of response...that you just start responding to other folks with the : "So here's how it goes...I think you're lovely,you describe your self as being exactly what I seek in a D/s relationship...we'd be great friends and mindblowing lovers...but , and here's the funny part,you're going to take one look at my pic, not read a word i have writen in my profile and never write back with even a basic acknowledgement. Thanks for nothing, just saving you the effort of blowing me off, have a nice day."

I am laughing my arse off at being in this position. Been years since I felt this ticked off about anything...and STILL felt like laughing about it. Good to know my sense of the absurd is still live and kicking.

it's official as of 1600 hours EST today:Surgery time is 0800 5/08/2009...we are go, with throttle up.

She hits my senses like a chainsaw in heat.
Shatters my calm like a hammer on glass.
The scent of her, musk and amber...and meat,
callipygian buttocks and beautiful feet.

My flesh crawls as she spirals and dances.
I feel the fangs sprout from my jaw as I watch.
Her clothes fall, like leaves,when winter advances
yellow as ivory and sharper than lances.

I sink into you, like a knife through your flesh.
I glory in the warmth of your blood.
My teeth at your throat,
My hands at your tits,
and words from your mouth in a subconcious flood.

Your flesh open wide for this thing I have got
The blindfold ,secure, is our bond of trust
Just listen, my voice
Ahh, listen, just wait
You are my painting, a canvas of lust.

Red,blue and black are the pigments of choice
a palette of sin and a brush of desire
each stroke, a hue
each strike a cry
each color I add, sets new skin afire.

Unveiling new work is always a joy
laying you bare to my critic within
he pokes and he prods
he tickles and bites
I've painted my madness in pain on your skin

She took a femur from out of my bone pile
caressing it like a long lost friend
licking it , tasting it,gliding it over her
pantomiming, then rounding the bend.

Dry bone, wet bone, loving bone, live bone
cool and hard and smoothed by long use
she rolled with it, rocked with it, looked terribly shocked with it
Using that femur...well, more like abuse.

moaning, groaning, humping...boning
creaming and screaming she came and she went
left that used legbone back where she'd found it
awkwardly used and unknowingly...spent.

Now, me, I just watched. Bemused and bebothered.
As she shuddered and hunched o'er her ill-gotten bone
and laughed at the shock as she truly discovered
what fun can be had in an old pervert's home

Now when I think of her writhing and dancing
it's not just the floggings and canings I see,
but the night of the thighbone, that conquered her body
and left only shuddering carnage for me

"Nearly everyone underestimates how powerful the touch of another person's hand can be. The need to be touched is something so primal, so fundamentally a part of our existence as human beings that its true impact upon us can be difficult to put into words. That power doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex, either. From the time we are infants, we learn to associate the touch of a human hand with safety, with comfort, with love."

And then something else happens. We learn that sometimes touch is a bad thing.I am not a victim of "bad touching". I am not a victim, or a survivor or any of the other epithets applied to people who have been physically abused and healed from the experience. It happened. It hurt me. I healed. That's it. The fact that it shattered my relationship with the Church and destroyed my faith in my parents' God is entirely incidental. Suffice it to say that I have never allowed a priest to touch me again.
I have been told that part of the reason I put on a lot of weight was the need to armor myself from the feelings left over from that incident. It's possible I suppose. It would be a believable thing. It is also possible that due to the ADHD that I was experiencing as a kid and the Rytalin and Phenobarbital that the Dr's and my parents shoved down my throat to " smooth the peaks and valleys out" permanently fucked with my metabolism...and I put on weight because of that. Or perhaps it was a combination of all that & the fact that my family expresses love through food. That's the theory I am proceeding with-because it makes the most sense.
Years later, after the surgeons had repaired the damage to my face(incurred while serving Uncle Sam)...I woke up to an image in the mirror that spoke with my voice,out of a face I didn't recognise as my own. It was hard to get used to that. I still have serious issues with people touching my face. I have to REALLY trust you to let you do that. Touching my face in any other context will result in you dying or being seriously f-d up...and me turning myself in,to the nearest law-enforcement officer.So, to say that I have a messed up self-image is reasonably fair.
I hug my brothers in arms. I hug family and close friends. I hate incidental touching. You know, the guy who has to touch your arm or your shoulder as part of a conversation? Hate 'em. The people who just have to shake your hand with both hands? Hate 'em. The folks who just cannot avoid the "playful" touch, tweak, slap,etc...? Yeah, you get it. It's therefore safe to say that I have issues with being touched. Oh yeah...and that time I was blindfolded and led aroud by the hand? The only reason I didn't freak right out, was that I unreservedly trusted the person holding my hand (Gods rest him).
As we have noted in previous conversations of this nature...I like sex. I am going out on limb and guessing that my taste for erotic pain and bondage is probably based on a combination of the sexual images I imprinted on as a kid and my f-d up issues about touch in general. Seems like a fair bet. The question that many folks , discovering my sexual tastes,ask is "what's wrong with you?" Aside from the obligatory (and, knowing me, profane) response...I can proudly say that there is NOTHING wrong with me.
The nature of arousal is different for every single human being on this Earth. The chemicals are the same, the triggers are not. As noted earlier my tastes in women are a little odd...but when you imprint on Morticia Addams, Catwoman,an endless series of magicians assistants and circus aerialists,and every freaking thing that Frazetta ever painted,not to mention all those racy detective magazines in my Grampa's barbershop...they would be odd wouldn't they?
Then as I got older, I read Justine, and The Story of O, and Venus in Furs...and it all began to make sense. I wasn't a freak...I was a pervert. Let me say it again: I AM A PERVERT! Kink is the way I think. I think kinked. Experimenting with D/s was interesting, intriguing, frustrating and frightening. I scared the ever-loving crap out of a lot of partners, before I got comfortable with my inner-De Sade. The rush was amazing...finally I understood why straight sex was fun...but bent sex was FUN!!! Like the different between nourishing and enjoyable steamed white rice...and wild mushroom risotto with pancetta and manchego cheese.
Let's be clear.I LOVE putting a willing partner in bondage (mentally or physically). I like erotic pain. Yours, mine, Ours...it's all good. But what most folks don't get is that it is not, cannot be "all pain all the time". It's a sauce. A spice. The meat and veg (as t'were) is still sex, but the thing that makes it taste good to my brain ...is kink. Put simply:PAIN does not equal HARM. If I do actual, physical HARM it's not fun anymore. I am a trained medic...I know the difference.Trust, affection and a good deal of COMMON F__ing SENSE is necessary or what you're doing isn't kinky fun, it's abuse,assault and battery, assault with intent or agravated assault ( or worse in some cases). Since I feel pretty certain that I know abuse when I see it...I do my best to avoid it.
It's that simple an equation. All else is knee-jerking, naysaying and nabobbery. Sadists like pain but know what love is too. We like pain but know what tenderness is too. I incorporate love, tenderness and pain into my way of loving. That's all that need be said. Think what ever else y'all like, but that's the truth. Now comes the killer question..."But what about your Wife? Does she share in your >shudder< activities?" Again, I have to fall back on my usual response to such questions..."Is that any of your f-ing business?!!" Does my Wife strike you as being a person to stay where she isn't comfortable? Does she seem weak-willed or incapable of expressing displeasure or unease with her life when warranted?? That's insulting as hell, to my wife. Insulting my wife is a sure way to contract a sudden case of "beaten senseless by the Scottish guy". My wife is not a slave, a submissive,or a masochist. Nuff said.
The next typical question is "What if your partner said she didn't want to play that way with you?" Fair question. I believe that "No" means no. I believe that use of a safe word stops EVERYTHING but the aftercare( you know, cuddling, stroking, touching and quiet conversation...what everyone should do after sex? That's aftercare). I believe that if someone wants to make love with me, and I like and trust her enouigh to let her...then it doesn't matter if we have straight sex or bent sex. What matters is that she and I like each other enough to share intimacy with each other. How hard is that to understand?
The next question is almost always asked by a very specific type of person...I won't bother describing the archetype, you can make your own inferences. "Why do you think that subjugating a woman is something to get sexually aroused by? How would you feel if you were being treated that way by a woman?" ALLLllllllllll-righty then. Let's break that one up into easy-to-eat sections shall we? My D/s partners are willingly submitting to me...they can end the whole thing with a single word or if they are partners of a more permanent nature they can "tap out" and we go back to the aftercare_ with no negative impact to the relationship. In short, the subjugation is illusory and there is more power in the "submissive" partner than meets the eye. Usually those "submissives " are very brave, courageous women who want what they want...and were willing to ask for it.
If a woman trusts me enough to be weak, submissive, vulnerable and servile to me in the context of an intimate relationship...that's her business. I refuse to apologise, to take responsibility for the feelings and baggage of an entire sex. As for how I would feel if the tables were turned... When I was 18 yrs old, I was flirting with my sense of eroticism and getting used to the rules and rituals of it. An older woman (she was 27) of my acquaintance...whom I was already in love with, exposed me to what it meant to be treated as a submissive. She very patiently took me through a session of bondage, flagellation and submission play...not really minding that when she bound me to the point of immobility, I freaked out and shattered her bedstead.
We established that I am very much a sadist...less thrilled by my own physical pain, but not turned off by it. We established that tying me up was a BAD idea. We established that I do not have a submissive bone in my body. We established that given the opportunity, I will turn the tables on my partner and ...well let's just say it's a good thing she liked D/s play from either side of the whip. So yeah, I made a fair attempt at understanding the sub side of this equation. Get over yourself. Your struggle, your issues, your problem. Don't pin that crap on me.
So,to sum up, I have touch and trust issues. I work through them, they do not rule me or my life. I am a firm believer in the maxim of : Sex is best when the light and fluffy, meets the dark and sticky. I am prouder now, than ever before, of my nature and how I turned my issues around. I am PERVERT hear me roar. Rarr!

I realised to day, that it had been two years since I had heard the word "Master" uttered by a woman's voice and meaning me. I have missed the sensation of quivering flesh at my command. I have missed white skin , coloring to pink and red as the whip drew patterns on hips and buttocks and thighs.
It has been too long since a kneeling girl looked up at me from the floor and raised her wrists to be bound or touched her forehead to the floor and placed my boot upon her neck. I miss her. More than I have ever missed anyone who has not died.
It has been too long,,,time to get back in the saddle as it were. Time to find one who will understand that while she is occasionally a thing to be tortured and whipped, she is also a woman, warm sexual and sweet. One who causes me to remember that I cannot always be aloof and detached. One who reminds me that discipline is a two way street. He who gives is and she who needs it. Now...Where is she

IT is really easy to get my attention...all you have to do is ask me a question...Since walking up to me in a bar and presenting yourself personally is impossible, unless you happen to live in the greater Richmond area.

Ask your self this question...how likely is it that I would take you as a sub, invite you into my life and my home, without KNOWING YOU ?? I take a while to get to know people. I am long past the days of just blindly leaping in to things. There are other concerns that need to be considered,than just my desire.

Since , in a previous entry,I clearly detailed my tastes in female submissives-I don't need to repeat myself. However, since there has beena spike in t-girls viewing my profile...and since I am not averse to t-girls, it become necessary for me to set some guidelines for t-gender types who wish to express their interest in serving under me.
The only transgender submissives/slaves that will be given consideration are those that meet the following criteriae:

1: Under 30 years of age.

2:Passable as female at close range.(20 feet or less)

3: willowy, slim, thin, toned...pick an epithet.

4: intensely feminine.

5: bisexual

That's it. no exceptions.

The thing about love is... I am incapable of loving just one person. My wife gets it, why in the plus-perfect Hell can't you? Oh yes, I HAVE heard your arguments before. They go something like this: Polyamory is morally wrong! Really? whose morality are we talking about here? yours or mine? Polyamory is deviant! Whose definition of deviance are we using? Polyamory is a slap in the face to the tenets of our Judeo-Christian traditions!
Oh Sweet Fanny Adams! You did NOT just say that with a straight face!?! First off, how can loving someone possibly be wrong? Deviant? Yeah, so? What's your point. You don't have to scratch my surface very hard to get to the "pervert-within". I am sorry if you thought I was kidding...guess what? NOT! Does anyone even credit the whole "slap-in-the-face" thing? Anyone who isn't a rabid fundy or completely cranio-rectally impacted person anyway?
Some folks have told me that I have intimacy and committment issues. Well, I'd be the last person to disagree that I should,in fact, be committed. I DO have issues with intimacy though. I believe that a person can be intimate with more than one person and be very happy and content that way. To me, Monogamy is serial.
Now I suppose we need to explore why this is? Why can't he love just one person...FOREVER?
Most humans , when asked whether they prefer variety or the same thing day-in/day-out, will say that they prefer variety. In fact, most of them will demand it! Some of them will even say that forcing them to eat,wear,be,do the same thing every day for any length of time more than a few days is cruel and degrading.( No I am not calling my marriage cruel and degrading...stop putting words in my mouth...and stop jumping to conclusions!)
The point is that humans demand and insist on variety in every aspect of their lives EXCEPT in relationships. Then, suddenly it's cheating, infidelity, philandering yadda, yadda,yadda. Somewhere in the dim recesses of time some ancient kill-joys decided that monogamy would be "What God wanted for ALL of us (whether we want it or not)". Not to mention that it made certain older matrilineal societies harder to sustain, and made patrimony easier to divide people by.
"What?" You say, "What do you mean?" Well...let's say you have a matrilineal, tribal society. Then someone comes along and conquers your home...and they really hate the concepts that men AND women have power AND >gasp< property rights and that:"A mother is a mother, but a father is an opinion." They're probably going to enforce their own patrilineal, one-man for one-woman paradigm...for the "good" of everyone involved. Makes it all so much easier don't you see? So messy, all these matings and pairings and children sired by Jupiter/Jehovah/God knows who. Don't worry, you barbarians will figure it out...or else. As with most things that tied up in religion...it remained tied up. For thousands of years. It's still tied up and people are still trying to legislate love and intimacy and sex. Don't they have ANYTHING better to do? Apparently not. Because today monogamy is good and moral, and non-monogamy is bad, barbaric, bent, "A slap-in-the-face-to-our BLAH,BLAH,BLAH."
My intimate relationships have always been tangled. I have never been capable of monogamy. I fall in love easily...fiercely,brain-boilingly in love waaaaa-aaaay too easily. I messed up a lot of relationships in my younger days because of this. I had not yet figured out that I was incapable of monogamy...I was furtive and guilty and self loathing about it. Then, one day, it all seemed to make sense. I was supposed to love just one person...I was failing at that constantly... I knew that love was never wrong...lemme tell you, it was like the top blew offfa my skull. Suddenly I realised that A:This was nothing to be furtive or guilty about. B: It appeared that with relatively few exceptions, I am not romantically jealous...at all. C: As long as I explained it to my lovers, took precautions and allowed them to love as they wished also...the "problem" was a non issue.
This does not mean that I sleep around indiscriminately. Nor does it mean I discard partners I am no longer sleeping with. Polyamory did not make me a man-whore. I can honestly say that I have never been intimate with anyone that I did not love. I know, I know : "Slap-in-the-face...etc...yakkity schmakkity"
"But Hamish/Dennis," you ask..."What about all that sex?". Sheesh! You people, is that all you think about?! Does intimacy ALWAYS have to mean sex? If it does, I'm doing it wrong. It should come as no shock to you that, I do, enjoy a little sex from time to time. I dream about it. I think about it (except for the three annual seconds per annum that men actually think about something else). And I do it...as often as possible. But never. Never EVER without an emotional connection to my partner. My willing (often willfull) enthusiastic partners.
"But,doesn't your wife mind?" Not that it's any of your business, but NO. She doesn't. She's smart, sexy, secure in her own skin and she certainly doesn't need you or society or the church to mind her interests. My wife is self-minding. At the risk of seeming dreadfully literary...my theory of love is this:" Love as thou wilt." "Love, but make not a bond of loving." "If you would be loved, be loveable." I love...therefore I am.

Okay. That's it! I have had it. I am so sick of people sending me one word e-mails ! "Hi." IS NOT AN F-ING CONVERSATION! Sorry , not going to play anymore, If you want to talk to me, HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!! While we are on the subject, if you are collared, in a foreign country, across this continent from me, or younger than 24 we are probably not going to hit it off. Please, present yourself like you would if I were right in front of you and you wanted to speak to me.
Finally...if you're taken already WTF are you still advertising yourself on a personals site?? So very sick of seeing someone I find attractive on this thing only to find that they are already collared. GRRRRRRRR...frustrated much?

Last pre-surgical nutrition class 4/6/2009, then...two weeks ,or thereabouts later...under the knife. Figuring third or fourth wk of April...then out of work for 6 wks on leave.

Still terrified. Still not feeling like it's quite real...OTOH, it will give me time to search for a new job...nope, not unemployed...just fed up with BoA and looking for new opportunities.

what is the language of love?
That toungue we all struggle with speaking.
we shout and confess till the sheets are a mess,
and the room is practically reeking//

And there in that cloud of bliss
We lie, joined together like a beast with two backs.
and mingle our sweat till everythings wet.
and we melt altogether like things made of wax.//

lying in puddles of love,
like whales beached on shingles of sheets.
crushed 'neath the weight of own feelings.
deafened by the force of our heart as it beats .

So, I am going over my life and trying to relieve myself of old baggage, other peoples' leftovers, and generally unprofitable/non-constructive BS.
The first thing I chose was unmet goals. Done with it. Sick of carrying it around. It's garbage and it's outta here. Next, I guess it's dealing with other people's baggage that I have carried for years. I am officially declaring that I am no longer taking responsibility for anything that anyone did to/with/on anybody...including me,in the past.If I hurt you in the past I am sorry. UN-less I did it intentionally, in which case I am not sorry and it is extremely unlikely I ever will be.You figure it out.
If I "fired" you from my life at some point, for whatever reason-decide for yourself if I am worth re-connecting with. Otherwise, are you really missing anything by not being a part of my life? I am saying goodbye to the last vestiges of "Kinder and Gentler". I am who I am. Get over it or get on with it. I am not warm and fuzzy. TOUGH!
I am not going to apologise for how selfish and self involved I am going to be for the next several months.If I seem a little self involved it's all down to the alterations being made in my life (and my flesh)-which stem from a pressing need to live with them while "not-dying". Again, I encourage you to decide for yourself whether I am worth knowing during this transition and act accordingly.True friends are always welcome.
Sadly, my days of culinary exploration and lucullan, sybaritic devotion are over. I will be minimizing my kitchen gear and radically changing my food choices/cooking style. PLease don't ask me to cook.I am unhappy about all that, but since it's all part of the "not-dying" thing I guesss I have to live with it...heh!
When (Not if) WHEN I begin fighting again I will suck. I will most likely suck mightily. It's possible I will even be unrivalled in my mighty suck-itude. I am not going to be up to much until I knock the rust off. Sorry in advance. I promise to be patient with myself about this...but it won't be easy.
Please remember, if you're in my f-list there's a better than average chance that you're important/necessary to me. Even when I don't say it.

So I went to my Primary Care doc ( henceforth PCP) and I related the tale of woe wrought by the Surgeon and his Hospital's Surgical Committee. My PCP used several colorful metaphors related towards the Surgeon's parentage , character, and general lack of intelligence. Then, PCP stated he would call the snap-head and act as my advocate. My PCP did this, and called me back the next business day (Yesterday) at 10pm...10...PM! PCP felt it was urgent to give me the news so he took time out of his after work/office life to call me and let me hear the straight and skinny. He earns major league customer-service points for this.
Turns out that my case was routed to the surgical committee in the hands of a rookie because my surgeon couldn't be there that day. The rookie made a total hash of my case and, in classic "G-I-G-O" fashion, gave that messed up and incorrect information to the scheduler. Who gave it to me. My PCP assured me that the surgeon was not at all the unctuous, cheese- gobbling ratfrak bastard his office's response had made him out to be.
The PCP assured me that the surgeon would be calling me Tuesday (today) to
apologise for his associates banana- fingered, ham- handed, arse-hatted handling of me so far...and to set up the process to continue with getting my case approved by the insurance company and scheduling the surgery within the next ten to twelve weeks.
The surgeon was true to his word. Explaining that "Heads had rolled " at his office because of the missed /botched communications and that he did not in any way condone the bait and switch tactics regarding the committee's pushing gastric bypass at me. Nor, he said, did he consider their opinion to be valid advisable or intelligent. Nor did he feel that the committee's recommendation that I lose 50 lbs was valid for exactly the reasons I detailed in previous posts.
He went on to state that I would be on a liquid diet prior to the surgery that would allow some weight loss prior to the op and then back on normal sustenance after (subject to the auguries and haruspexy of the nutritionist).
He spoke at length. He was intelligent and concise. He put my mind at ease and convinced me that while the rookie and surgical committee might be a bunch of bilge-sucking poo-heads, he was not.
Well what else could I do? I thanked the surgeon and evinced my pleasure at things being back on track. We shall see how things progress from here. I am cautiously optimistic and ready to play "very hard ball, indeed" if necessary.There ya have it. More, when I know more

Recieved the opinion of the surgical committee this morning. It is a testiment to my self control that the person on the other end of the phone ( not a surgeon or a doc of any type) is not a heap of brimstone ash at this very moment. In other words as angry as I am...I did not take it out on a person who had no responsibility other than imparting the message. I am proud of me for that.
IN the miniscule wisdom, the committee( remember my comments about a committee being an organism with 6 or more legs and no brain?) wants me to lose 50...FIFTY pounds on my own before they do the surgery. IF I COULD LOSE FIFTY POUNDS UNAIDED I WOULD HAVE F-ING DONE IT ( and more)ALREADY!! Then, they went on to urge me to consider having gastric bypass instead, when I had already REPEATEDLY explained that that was not an option I was willing to consider. I have safety concerns and personal issues with that process.
I am sooooooooooo mad right now I could do the machete dance on the whole lot of them. The one thing I have hated all my life is people( parents, well meaning friends, etc...) pegging things to my weight loss..."we'll do this for you if you lose x pounds." They've done it my whole life. Now they're doing it again. Just jump through this one nigh impossible hoop and we'll be generous enough to give you something less than what you want. I hated it when certain Order of people tried to do the same sort of thing regarding another goal of mine too. My instantaneous response is invariably the same. Burning hatred and anger. I will calm down later but right now I am radioactive.
Maybe I should just give in and let them mutilate me.Gut me like a fucking deer and get it over with. Maybe I should just go ahead and let these medical wonder-fucks destroy my body for the sake of being thinner. But regardless of all the success stories I know of with that process...I just can't do it. Patrikia and others will probably be offended at this point...please don't be. My perception , is not your reality. if it's working well for you that's cool,in fact I am delighted that you are doing well, but I have to live with my own flesh after this and I don't want to go that route if it is at all avoidable. It's my temper and my fear talking, here.
Part of me wants to cry in sheer frustration and anger, right now...not what my employers would like from a worker at his desk. Part of me is angry enough to kill. However the rational, intelligent part of me just requested the written report from the surgical committee mailed to it...so that he could consider his options. I will keep you posted

To the vast majority of Americans, Veterans Day is nothing more than a day off of work. The memory and spirit of the day once known as Armistice Day is utterly lost on them. Today at 1111 hrs. , in a railroad car at Compiengne, France the "War to end all Wars" was ended by surrender of the Imperial forces of Germany to the Allied Powers. Fail. Epic fail.

War is an inevitable part of the human condition. Soldiers will arm themselves at their governments' commands, and go to face the foe until the end of time. To fight and win or die as fate intends. To me, and many like me, Veterans Day(or Remembrance Day if you're of the Canadian persuasion) is a tad more poignant. Sure it's a day off of work, and no mistake, that's a fine thing. But it's also a time to contemplate the nature of our service to a country that doesn't like to be reminded that it's had to kill and fight and spend lives to get where it is today. A country that likes to indulge in blindness and memory loss if a war goes on for more than six months-once the "Shock and Awe" fades.

The veterans of America's wars do not forget that we are at war across the globe; in two of the most pestilential hell holes one could imagine. We cannot forget or unsee the images sent to us by the press or by our friends and neighbors who are over there. We remember all too well, the sights and smells and sounds of war. They haunt our dreams and they hound us in our waking paths every day.

When we came home, people wanted us to be the same people we were when we left.The nature of what we'd seen and done has/had changed us irrevocably. Cruelty never had a sharper bite. We weren't the same. We couldn't ever be the same. Some folks reacted badly to that...they wanted their old friends/loved ones back, and they resented the change.
Unable to see how cruel that was they chose to avoid contact or treat us as "different"..."Damaged" ..."Disturbed, shell-shocked, etc...pick a metaphor. We are who we are now.

I and others like me have stood at the very sharp end where the red wine is served for true...and fought for our country. And there's really only one thing we need to remember on this day, of all days.
We fought and bled , and died for America, warts and all. Right or wrong. But the victory, the true nature of returning home victorious from war...is to do so alive. Coming home is our victory. Seeing our wives and families is our victory. Being alive to tell the tales of our brothers and sisters in arms who are not, is our victory.

We won. We ALL won.

Ya know that noise, you make? The one you make just as the cane hits your arse? Music to my ears.

Ya know that look you give me? The one where you're somewhere between sucking my cock and choking on it? MAGIC.

I am going to take a liberty with you that I have not earned. I am demanding a service I cannot by rights demand...BUT I AM DOING IT ANYWAY.

If you have looked at this profile and thought..."he's not interested in me" or "He's probably going to reject me" or even " He's not what I want,based on his pics". Drop me a line. No really. Write me a line about what you thought and how you felt. I am genuinely interested.

WHo knows...if you get my attention, I may be very interested indeed...wouldn't that be fun?

IT really easy to get my attention...all you have to do is ask me a question...Since walking up to me in a bar and presenting yourself personally is impossible, unless you happen to live in the greater Richmond area.

"Want" is easy. You just stretch out your little hand and say "I want". "Seek " is easy...everybody that doesn't have what they want is seeking. "Know", "have","love","cherish" and "Keep" on the other hand require more than self gratification and a loud voice.They require patience, mutual interest, respect and consistent discipline. Emphasis on the "Consistent".
Patience is hard for me...I get caught up in "Want" and forget that this is not a sprint...it's a marathon. I get all wrapped up in my own desires and then I remember that there's another element to this. I would love it if my search were over...but I will keep looking till she finds me. Why the twist in that last line? Because every slavegirl that ever came into my life did so unlooked for...not unwanted or undesired...but not ever when I was hard-core searching for a specific girl.

If I have viewed you journal it's because there was a spark of interest or I was so impressed or intrigued by what you were saying , that I had to read the rest.
But mostly, because there was a spark of interest. I probably haven't written you a note for the following reasons:
1 I was pressed for time.
2 your criteria for meeting and mine were
not compatible
3 I wanted to say more than "Nice pics " or " Wow, that was interesting, tell me more" But I haven't gotten back to it.

Do me a favor, If I have viewed you and you've noticed me doing it...lemme know. Better yet, view me back and I will write something more original than this drivel.

hehe

Hmmm...I suppose The old journal is scaring more people off than inviting them to write and say "Hi, let's get to know each other".

Damn!

recently , whilst I was watching Babylon5 re-runs, I was struck by Lando Molari's comment regarding women... : "Gentlemen, of all the things the great Maker has done, are not females the finest?" I paused. I pondered and I went back to all the women in my life that have had an impact upon me and how I view their sex. I love women. I love everything about them. The way they smell. The way they look. The maddening roll of hips and well-turned thighs as they walk. Everything.
Perfumes aside, and I seem to react very strongly to them, the way a woman smells is probably the major cue for me. Something about sweat, soap.and female drives me right round the twist. There is also something about the way they nibble their lower lip and look at you that just destroys me.
Why don't guys dance? Because we'd rather watch a woman dance in front of us, than try to co-ordinate our own ridiculously spastic gyrations to what girls do with grace and unconscious skill. I could watch about half of the women I have ever met for hours...just watching them move. I find that I have no set "type" either. My ideal of feminine beauty runs from "So round so firm so fully packed" (to quote the old Pirate of the Carribean ride) to women who have as much hip swerve as a twelve year old boy , and everywhere in between. Hair color has never mattered...although I must admit a certain weakness for redheads.
Physical features have never been an issue for me...big or small breasts, wide or slim hips, long or short legs...it's all good. The shape of face and eyes has always been a thing for me though. I am apparently not attracted to perfect. I like a female form with character. I like scars. I like birthmarks and tattoos, piercings and braces. Long hair is an evolutionary trope that has a strong grip on me...something about they way they look at you from under it...drives me crazy.
I do not like "GAzelle-women". You know the ones. The "HI HOwie" bunch ? The air brushed, artificially inflated, over tanned and over processed wenches of the average male's fantasies? Yeah them. No use for them whatsoever. They are not women. They're fem-bots. No thank you, again I thank you, no thank you.
I like SMART women...(actually I prefer SMART people in general). I like conversation with smart women. Deep , diverse conversations that revolve around complex comcepts . I like women who read. I LOVE women who love science and art. I like women who fight. Women who would put on a suit of armor and fight in the shield wall are a major thing with me. I like the intensity , the verve, the "yeah I'm getting hit So WHAT?" of a real fighter.
I have met and loved many women in my life. Each one has left a lasting mark on me (sometimes literally) 8^)). I cherish every one of them.

SO Gentlemen, ( and Ladies) I put Lando's question to you as well...Of all the things the great Maker has done, are not females the finest?

...and while we are on the subject;
Yes, that's a real knife.
Yes, I really am going to cane you.
No, begging won't make me stop, but it may make me slow down.
"Oh, Oh GOD please no!" is NOT a safe word. I gave you one when we started...You need to remember it.
Yes I really am checking every ten minutes on your status...I am a trained medic, it's what I do.
No, sucking me off before I beat you does not mitigate your earlier transgression.
Yes that IS a very sharp knife.
No, I wasn't kidding when I told you to wear clothes you didn't mind losing.
Yes I DID mean it when I told you I would gag you with your panties and make you walk through the bar to the car.

I mean what I say. I always keep my promises. I never use the "P" word unless I can keep them. No, I really don't care what your previous Dom said about the nature of honesty and trust. I work differently...get used to it.

Allow me this moment in time to state a bit of personal philosophy. Ladies, your pics are lovely. Many of them are more than capable of inciting outright lust and aggressive behaviour in me. Many of you have lovely smiles and salacious eyes. Many of you have well turned legs and very shapely bottoms.
Meat. It's meat. Unless there's a mind and an imagination behind those eyes...your bod will not hold my interest. If you have nothing to say to me, I will not do more than acknowledge that you do indeed have a nice...whatever.
Flaunting your flesh before me is nice...but it's also dull. I'm a man and looking at T&A is admittedly enjoyable...but nore so when there an actual chance I might get to do far more than just look.
Introduce yourself. Say hello and tell me why you think we would be good for each other. Impress me with your words, your thoughts, your poetry. You don;t have to show me a pic at all unless you're actually interested in me someday putting a collar on that delicate neck and stripes on that pretty little behind.

Just sayin...

1. What is your favorite word? Onomatopaeia
2. What is your least favorite word? "Can't"
3. What turns you on? women...well most of them anyway. Scotch. Art for Art's sake, good conversation
4. What turns you off? "Can't", my self-image, whiny people,injustice
5. What is your favorite curse word? FUCK! definitely FUCK.
6. What sound or noise do you love? the sound of a shotgun coming into battery, melee in full swing, bagpipes.
7. What sound or noise do you hate? "Can't we just be good friends?", whining, rap
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? bar owner, botanist, researech chemist
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? priest, politician, counselor
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "What the hell are you doing here?...you're due for re-incarnation in ten minutes!!"

OK, if you liked my profile enough to justify a comment from you...DO IT!! One line comments are boring and smack of carelessness. If you found what I wrote interesting tell me why. If you found something funny, tell me why. Be clear about what you liked and why.
Tell me what you think...why? Because I am interested. But be ready to engage in a conversation. Be ready to think, speak and interact. Because I will ask follow up questions and I DO want to get to know you.

DWOlf

She emailed me several times...we chatted and expressed mutual interest. I proposed a meeting...and she evaporated like mist on a griddle. Gone...like a shot.

I enjoy getting to know someone via correspondance. Intellectually it's fun...but physically it's about as satisfying as masturbation. If you have no intention of ACTUALLY meeting face to face with me at some point...DO NOT waste my time or yours. I have no more patience to waste on such folly.

I get responses from the "un- serious"and from people completely outside of my search criteriae all the time. I will spell it out again in words a 5 yr old can understand. If you have a penis, I am not interested in you. Nor is my partner.

How long have you been in the lifestyle?

Since I was a teenager.

What type of experience do you have? Did You have a mentor, teacher, how did You learn?

A woman , older than me, taught me both dom and sub roles. She was older than me by 7 yrs and she had had waaay more sexual experience. She showed me the ropes. I was a very solid dominant and a really lousy sub.

How many submissives have you had?

Several over the years. Some were casual some were serious. I regret having to give the last one up...but life got in the way. She was nearly perfect, but we had just moved to Va. and we were scrambling to get our lives in order and just couldn't keep her right then...I would take her back in a second.

What happened to end your last relationship?

see above

Are you still friends with your former submissives?

Some yes. Most don't write or call, so I don't know what they're up to.

What do you find is the most important aspect for you as a dominant?

Trust and fear are the most important...if she trusts you even when she's terrified...that's the best thing in the world.

What is your philosophy on being a dominant, and/or what is your personal mission statement?

I will hurt you, I will terrify you, I will make your body mine in ways your parents would be aghast to think of...but I will keep you safe, cherish and care for you; and never ever, allow you to be permenantly harmed.

Do you ever own more than one submissive at a time or would you?

I try to limit myself to one at a time. I have a wife after all, who requires my attention also. She isn't jealous of the slaves because they are not competeing for my attention. They get what they deserve and so does she.

What is the biggest rush for you?

Fear+pain+ sex= AWESOME

What kind of control do you like to have over your submissive in their daily lives?

I am not into TOTAL control. I expect courtesy and good manners. I expect a level of good behaviour and comportment. She may be whatever she is at work and outside...but she's a naked slave at home.

Are you looking for just a playmate, ownership, or a 24/7 real time relationship?

Ownership and live-in slaves are preferred. That way I can spend serious time training them. There is more opportunity for personal time and fun stuff that way too.

How much communication and time do you give to your submissive when you are not together and how?

I don't do long distance. If she's traveling, I expect a call in the morning and a call at night to hear about her day and whether she's behaving herself. Other than that...It's all personal, up close, and immediate.

What do you require and/or expect from your submissive?

I expect her to be intelligent, courteous and clean. I expect good conversation and good judgement. I expect her to be my slave whether she is bound and gagged or walking down the street. I expect her to be sexually available at a moment's notice(unless there's a really good reason she can't be). I expect never to have to give an order twice.

What is your position on fulfilling the needs of your submissive?

Well, reciprocity is everything no? It IS how the world works no? Quid pro quo, baby, quid pro quo. She meets my needs, I will meet hers.

What do you feel is the most important aspect in a relationship with a submissive?
Trust and consistency

How do you make sure that those aspects are obtained?

I seldom promise what I cannot deliver and I seldom expect more than a slave can give.

What is a dominant's primary function?

To own, cherish, protect and discipline his slave. To act with responsibility and accept stewardship of the woman who has yielded her will up to me.

How do you create the desire to surrender without placing it on the level of your own needs?

I offer the bargain, the bargain between Master and slave that is as old as mankind. "Do what I say or suffer. Do as I say and be rewarded." How I do that is a matter of semantics and as individual as the women in question were/are.

What does subspace mean to you?

There comes a point in any play situation, when pain becomes something else...when endorphins take over for seratonin, and pain becomes pleasure. Pretty neat really.

What do you seek in a submisssive? - or What do you look for in a submissive?

A willing nature, a submissive demeanor. An honest, trustworthy spirit. A raunchy mind and an attractive exterior. I don't want Barbie,never did, but I DO want a
a body I can enjoy...be she built like an hourglass or like a twelve yr. old boy.

How often do you like to get together with your submissive real time?

Realtime is the only time. As often as possible...hence my preference for live-in or live-close

Would you consider yourself more a sadist, or more the opposite type of dominant?

I consider myself a dominant/sadist. . Pain is the sauce/spice on the dish. Her submission is not compelled by pain...but enhanced by it.

What are your favorite types of play?

Depends on the moment, my imagination and where we are. I like discrete public play especially. But I am also a big fan of loooooong sessions in the dungeon, and humiliation/degradation play.

What are your likes and dislikes?

see above

Some Warning Signs for subs (if you see any of these happening, think twice)

Look at his profile... is it full of commands and dictates? Does he want to be called master or sir?

How does he communicate with you? Is he interested in more than the obvious? Does he test the waters early to see if you will allow yourself to be taken advantage of?

How real is he? Does he seem to have a lot of secrets? Does he want complete control over what you know about him? Here's a news flash... he's got a secret, and it ain't that he's really a major motion picture star.

Is everything a transaction with him? Does he want to trade pictures, trade ideas, trade stories?

Can he articulate his interest in d/s without naming a sex act or organ, and (more important) can he describe his d/s interests as they relate to you, not just himself?

You get the idea.. I can probably think of more. I am the first to admit that when I meet someone exciting, my thought center migrates south. Try to do better. You will make yourself happy, and be better off.

RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT BEGIN UNTIL YOU LOOK INTO EACH OTHERS EYES!

One of the things that really bugs me about some of my fellow Doms is this: If you conduct yourself in an ill-mannered, deceitful way, how can you fail to get an inferior result ? If your actions are not chivalrous and straightforward you will n ot find the woman of your desires. If there is no poetry in your soul, all the sex in the world will not sate you. If there is no honor in your heart, all the flesh you touch will not satisfy. If there is no love in you, then all the devotion you demand falls on infertile ground. You cannot demand of a slave what you will not or cannot feel, yourself.

Well, yeah, her picture is nice. She has a great smile and ...other things. But her profile is utterly devoid of detail or interest.

No matter how submissive and sexy she is...it'd be like F**king 145 pounds of dead meat ...like Oakland, There's no "there" there.

UGH!

IN the ancient days an ogre like me would kidnap a princess and have his way...sigh...Now in this age of enlightenment and civilization...I have to wait til one comes to me. Alas, for a lass.

Here's the great thing about being a dom. You get to be a really nice guy most of the time....and then when you want, you get to be nasty and evil (but in a really fun and nice way!)

This, my friend, is a winning combination. Nice guy doms do very well--the bad boy and the responsible partner all rolled up into one.

SO, Here I am. Seeking submissives online is difficult at best and impossible at worst. I get responses from the "un- serious"and from people completely outside of my search criteriae all the time.
I will spell it out again in words a 5 yr old can understand. If you have a penis, I am not interested in you. Nor is my partner. If you cannot spell, or frame a simple,grammatically correct sentence , our interest will not be of the highest.
If you cannot grok that I am who I say I am. That I do not choose to play headgames or lie. That I am EXACTLY who you apprehend me to be when you read my profile...then we have little to talk about.
However, for those who are truly interested, all questions will be answered. Do not try to flatter me regarding my poetry or my profile...just express your interest and ask your questions. If you do that, you will have my attention. Then we can get to know each other a bit better.

DWolf

If wanting you were enough to bring you to my side...you would be here already. Bound and gagged and open for whatever I put inside you.
If desire were enough, your flesh would even now be warming under my calloused hands and your moans would be music to my ears.
If lust was enough, your body would become my canvas and I would paint upon your flesh in shades of desire, pain and delight.
If.

If your eyes are the window to your soul,
Then why do I want to pluck them out?
and kiss the sockets
explore the darken'd holes with my toungue
And make you scream
With a kiss and a slap
when I open up your mind
with a silver spoon

If I cracked your skull open, what would I find?
An atrophied brain or a razor-keen mind?
What to my curious eye would appear?
Unbridled desire or irrational fear?
All encompassing ties that bind?

If I pulled out your eyes and held them to mine
What visions, would my eyes interpret behind?
Holding those orbs clasped tight in my palm
Tasting your fear and enhancing my calm.
Looking for some sort of sign.

If you wanted to be Morticia Addams,Columbia,Magenta or something similar when you "Grew up"...you're right up our alley. If you're the kind of woman who believes that the pleasures of the flesh are better when the light and fluffy meets the dark and sticky, you're our type. Do you whistle in the dark? Would you dance with the devil? Did the big bad wolf always get you just a little hot and bothered in all those faery tales? Or in Jim Steinman's songs? Then "little red riding hood", you're exactly what we're looking for. Wanna dance?

I suppose it is part of my suspicious nature to assume that nobody actually reads these things. Prove me wrong ladies. I dare you.

Bring me your skin for dancing in.
Hot blood and flesh and that coppery taste.
Bring me your heart, tasting of sin.
pulsing and beating , compliant, unchaste.///

I could bury my teeth in you, flesh become fire.
caressing your breast and drinking your blood.
painting you red, with the heat of desire.
slave to your passions and thrall to your moods.///

To yield all you are seems weak at the outset.
To obey demands discipline,great force of will.
Your power is known by the way that you use it.
Compliant and willing, your needs to fulfill.///

Dance to the whip and bow to your master.
Bare all your soul to the fire in his eyes.
Yeild all you will, spiralling faster.
That you are consumed should be no surprise.

meat is meat...spirit is fire.//

it takes a soul to inflame my desire.//

flesh is just flesh//

a pleasure to touch//

but it's the "within" i enjoy so much.//

DWolf

dworribhappi Male Dominant, 48, Charlotte, North Carolina	DWOOT11NKY Male Submissive, 27, Ft. Thomas, Kentucky	Dwolvez Male Switch, 24	dwot401 Male Dominant, 50, eagle river, Wisconsin
Dwoody33 Male Dominant, 34	dwollie Female Switch, 24, San Jose, California	dwo969nj Male Submissive, 45, Ocean County, New Jersey	dwolvie1978 Male Switch, 37, Portage, Michigan
dwot4012 Male Dominant, 52, Eagle River, Wisconsin	dwomor Female Submissive, 29, Ottoman,, Georgia	dworshipr Male Submissive, 50, Mumbai

DWolf1006

About DWolf1006