TO ALL THE DOMS OUT THERE WHO THINK THEY ARE REAL DOMS:

1. are you the type of dom who thinks that a sub or slave who isnt easily intimidate by your masterful attitude not a sub or slave?

2. does sarcasm or a little resistance send you running for the hills?

3. do you expect immediate obedience from the very first message?

4. are you masquerading as a dom to cover up those high school bullying scars?

if so, i am not the girl for you. this alpha chooses to submit not because i want to or because i think it is fun but because i need to. so dont expect me to give in too easily because nothing good ever came easy for one. and secondly i am choosing to put my life in your hands and if that doesnt require your patience and understanding then YOU ARE NOT A DOM but a DOM-ASS (pun-intended).

i am tired of being dismissed as not being serious just because i wont strip and put on nipple clamps during our first cam.

i am growing so annoyed with the older experience gentlemen who claim to want younger girls then look for every reason to dismiss them as gold diggers or who want to lorde their dinosaur level of experience over you and want to treat you like a child. i dont have daddy issues, never had a father and have no desire to acquire one, thank you. if you have no confidence that this little young thing will want you for you then i suggest you look elsewhere cause i am tired  of the verbal abuse.

i am especially tired of the passive aggressive weaklings who dont expect a submissive to bite back if being baited.

people i am looking for a real dominant, u know the one who laughed through this whole thing and wondered (who has this chick been talking to?) yeah you, message me, please, i a tired of these wannabees

I am suffocating,

this need inside me ever growing,

spreading like darkness after a sunset

so sudden one didnt even notice the change

i dream of you every night

so much so that daylight has become my nightmare

and my dreams my aspiring reality

i long to feel your bonds wrapped around me

anchoring my soul to the present

always owned

i have looked beyond the veil

and seen it all

but the one thing i crave

what cruelty is desire

to keep the appetite ever whet

for something you will never taste

i have swallowed much

but this alienation

from my true home

to never experience the ecstacy

of your touch

is exacting its toll on my soul

everyday becomes more of a struggle

as without you life seems to be in a standstill

i am frozen watching the world move on

while i am stuck here waiting for you...

Hello,

 thank you for stopping by. due to the amount of people that keep asking me that i really decided to think about it. if it came down to the master, mistress on the plantation kind of kink and you were the right master then, maybe you could convince me to try. if im gonna be beaten and called nigga then all my years of researching and activism concerning my people's history would be for nothing. im sorry but i cant see how anyone, especially white people in this day and age would even ask a black person that kind of question.

there is so much about myself that even i dont know that i want you to find out.

there are so many layers to me for you to unravel.

i wish to be broken before you, gently.

i have yet to take a hand to myself or just give myself to another, anyone really because i am tormented by visions of you.

you who will laugh at my sarcasm or think my indignance is cute.

you who will listen when i speak but shut me up when necessary.

you who will see my resistance as a sign that you're half way there.

i have yet to come up on such persistence.

instead i am stuck with them.

ones who are so easily upset at a caustic word that i wonder how it is that the sexual forges made him into a dominant if a little fire send him running.

they who cower before an intelligent being with boobs.

they who feels as if just because my cunt flowers for the neanderthal that my mind follows suit.

they who never wanted a person anyways but an object.

but i could never be that. i want to be yours.

i need to be rescued

no knight in shining armor here but stained with the blood of battle

one who has seen the fires of hell and come out the victor.

only he will be able to look at this lump of coal and see the diamond

only he will be willing to make the effort worthwhile

he is what i am waiting for, been waiting for

you call me picky, you have no idea.

i was born dreaming of you

and no one else will do

take me away from here. make me an offer i cannot refuse.

nice little side note :)

You Scored as Switch

(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

mostly right i think. i scored low on the sadism part due to the assumption that being a sadist only means you are interested in pain while i feel that sadism for me is the need to sexually torture someone by any means necessary. if they need pain, thats what i give to them. anything that i feel would be torturous, anything, that is what i use.

not much for degradation as much as i am for deprivation

not much of a masochist because no one has yet to introduce me to much pain, but so far i can take it. doesnt mean i like it i have yet to orgasm from painful stimulation so we'll see.

not at all vanilla lol that was the funny part. i am a kinky as they come i guess it was all those answers about not being interested in causing pain lol bu whatever

i am begging you, when you message me pleases understand i know no codes or contexts of the lifestyle, and the more i am on this site the more i feel as if i come to care less and less for it. i cannot and will not apologize for my forthright approach to finding a master, nor will i change anything for you until i feel as if i want to change it for you. i might have a different idea of submission then, but i have no problem with having different ideas i feel the world would be a lot better off if we did not define the same thing in the same way. i digress, i want someone who i wont have to convince myself to obey and if you demand my acqueisence without me deciding to give my will to you, then it wont work.

i myself am an untapped dominant personality, so, yeah, it will be a little harder bringing me to heel. i am quite confindence that there is at least one man out there that can do it. that isnt put off by my tongue or my stare, that is patient enough to set the trap for the mouse instead of trying to coax it out of hiding. i require patience and a steadyhand, someone who isnt easily put off by resistance. i do not know what is out there for me, but the thought of the man for me wanting me to adhere to his every whim when i have yet to fully know him as a man, person, or dominant, makes me wonder if he doesnt feel as if i would be easily swayed into another's ropes.

the bottom line is, until i put my will consiously into your hands, you do not get to order me around, period. if you push i will push back so dont be all that surprised when i am not convinced when you bark, i want to see if you can actually bite. protocols and all that other crap does not impress me, nor do your demands. i want a man that makes me want to kneel in front of him, not one that has to force me to my knees. that is slavery not submission and i am no man's slave. that doesnt exist anymore much to the disappointment of a lot of people im sure. but those are the facts and i will not be party to usher in the new period of no choice. no matter what games we play these days as much as one might not like it, i do have a say.

i want someone who cares about my desires, not matter how much it might look to the contrary. if it is not possible for you to consider me and my desires as primary to oyu and your satisfaction, even if it is with me on my knees servicing you, then please do not contact me. i am tired of the verbal abuse, not matter how harsh or polite you are in the doing it is still all the same. i hope by writing this journal i have clarified myself. if anyone would like to, please ask questions.

someone has seen it fit to mention that i havent had a journal entry in 2 years. well that probably because NOTHING has happened since i last wrote. im still single, still pretty much untouched by a true master. the only thing that probable has changed is my desire to find one. im in the find me mode im done looking for you. im open, available, and sane! plus im not fake i really shouldnt be pleading my case here lol