DaveandBeth

What we offer to a potential newcomer (beta) that would make our situation/offer attractive?  (the "pure joy of serving" isn't enough........you need more than that).  We offer a very ?special? place within and as a part of our Master/slave relationship. The newcomer, or ?beta? , will immediately know that she is owned and loved by two. She will know who is in control, who is the Master, her Master in the relationship; and the Master makes and enforces the rules. The ?beta? will be given specific guidance and ways she is expected to contribute to the ?family?. She will have a home, security, training and support. IF, the ?beta? is not a ?slave? but is a submissive, the goal will be to train and educate towards being a slave. At the proper time, if desired, a full contract will be offered to the newcomer, ?beta?.

Where is the beta person going to turn to for their primary emotional support? To the Master, however, both slaves are required to provide emotional support to each other.

Is it the dominant's responsibility to provide that? Yes, The Master assumes responsibility for all emotional support as well as the submissive/slaves wellbeing and life. The Master makes the rules, and enforces them with love, compassion, understanding, reward, and when necessary, punishment.

What happens if more than one person needs emotional support at the same time? The Master will provide.

Is the newcomer comfortable putting their emotional needs on hold while the women who were there first get taken care of? This will not happen, Master will treat them equally.

If the newcomer lives in, how will financial issues be handled?  Are they expected to turn over their earnings or is a rent situation going to be involved?  If the newcomer is turning over their financial decision making, what provision is being made for a financial settlement upon termination of the relationship? This will be discussed and worked out between the beta and the Master based upon the betas? assets and desires.

If the newcomer is a live in, what explanations will be made to friends and family of all involved?  The Master seeks a live in. Whose house will holidays be celebrated at?  Will the dominant act as a "partner" to the beta for social outings (such as work affairs where spouses are included, company Christmas parties, etc.)?  The Master will make these decisions based on the totality of all circumstances surrounding the event. The Master has a policy of giving the slave/submissive what they wish for whenever possible. In the event that THE Master?s decision is NOT what the submissive/slave desires; the Master expects and demands total obedience from the slave/sub.

If BDSM events are part of the social calendar, how will these be handled. There will be BDSM events, both slaves/sub will accompany the Master and obey him at all times or be punished.

What sort of provision will be made so that the newcomer gets one on one time with the dominant? The Masters? policy concerning ?one on one? time is that the sub/slave may have it anytime she wants it, IF the Master says it is ok. The Master always has the final word, he is the decision maker.

Will that one on one time be both BDSM and vanilla oriented?   (i.e. an occasional movie or dinner date, just one on one) Yes

Will the newcomer sleep in the same bed as the dominant?  As the Master wishes.

Will that ever be just one on one sleep time?  As the Master wishes.  It may be requested.

How will jealousy issues be handled?  (note:  ordering someone not to feel jealous doesn't work - you'd better have a much more effective plan than that)  Master will not tolerate jealousy. These issues will be examined, studied and dealt with thoroughly when they arise; to the satisfaction of all concerned.

How will sex be handled?  Is the newcomer expected to be monogamous to the dominant?  Yes, Master expects this of both.

Can the newcomer have sexual relationships independently with others in the chain, or only at the initiation of the dominant?  Both sub/slaves may request/initiate sex, with each other, or someone outside the ?home? at any time; but the Master must approve prior to any activity. The sub/slave is NOT allowed to have sex without the Masters full knowledge and approval.

If the expectations are that the newcomer will be monogamous to the dominant, what steps will be taken to ensure that the newcomer's sexual needs are met.  Master is always available to both slaves/sub and assumes full responsibility for their sexual fulfillment though a variety of ways.

What happens when girls in the chain have conflicting sexual needs?  (Personal bias here - I think it makes a lot more sense to allow a betas to engage in independent relationships, because, honestly, in a lot of cases the dominant doesn't have the time and energy to meet the needs of many people by themselves.  I don't know many men who can handle the sexual needs of two or three women) Master is always available to both slaves/sub and assumes full responsibility for their sexual fulfillment though a variety of ways, sex outside the relationship is but one course he uses. slave/sub will not ?want? for sex of any nature unless it is being withheld as punishment. As Master, I demand and expect slave/submissive to tell me all of their inner thoughts, desires, dreams, fears including sexual needs daily, weekly and monthly?. That is the only way I can ?take care? of them and know them.

What precisely are the responsibilities of the newcomer?  Be detailed..    Same question for the dominant.  Be detailed.  This helps flesh out what everyone is bringing to the table in the relationship. This depends on the newcomers skill set and resources and needs. Master will evaluate and discuss as will slaveBethany with the newcomer and decide exactly what her role and responsibilities are to be. It is impossible to know, not knowing what assets, abilities, desires and dislikes are of the newcomer as Master will consider all of these factors in deciding her role and responsibilities.

Some of the key reasons that people cite for not wanting to a third or fourth or whatever is they basically don't want to have to stand in line for whatever the leftovers are once everyone else has had their needs met.  That is not an unrealistic fear.  People want to be in a relationship with someone they feel they can rely on in both good time and bad.  If they know that someone else's needs will always come before theirs, it is very difficult to trust that the dominant will be there for them when they really need them.  Additionally, most people would like to have a "partner" - someone they can go do things with one on one - the movies, family stuff, work stuff, etc.  As a beta, frequently you don't get that.  So let's be honest, for a dominant to entice an additional girl onto a chain, what they have to offer needs to be pretty attractive in order to balance out the drawbacks.  There will only be one ?other?, one ?beta? in this relationship. I, Master am confident that I can treat both equally?.. leaving neither slave/sub feeling left out or ?number 2?. I will require that both slaves/subs love, respect and support each other, equally. slaveBethany knows this and agrees.

 
70-80% of all jealousy comes from not knowing and not being secure in the relationship you have. This is eliminated by clear communication, clear intent and clear expectations My generic poly/jealous essay:

Obviously starting out, TALK TALK TALK. There is NO TOLERANCE for hiding things, pushing things away, and lying. If it doesn't catch up to you today, it WILL catch up to you in a month.