DaddyRoy


DaddyforHer Male Dominant, 50	daddyb Male Dominant, 48	DADDYLILSUBGRL Female Submissive, 23, RESEDA CA SFV 818, California

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	About DaddyRoy "The man who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world will not, as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort and encourages his old self to survive. Rather, he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk himself, so that he may endure the suffering and pass courageously through it, thus making of it a 'raft that leads to the far shore.' Only to the extent that man exposes himself over and over again to annihilation, can that which is indestructible arise within him. In this lies the dignity of daring." I have been actively exploring the D/s world for about 12 years and I can honestly say it has been quite a ride. I've run the gamut from meeting [someone who would eventually become] my best friend to meeting people who…...well, let's just say we didn't click and leave it at that. I've learned an extraordinary amount about myself in the process, some of it directly related to my D/s experiences and some of it merely concurrent. And in expanding the depths of my self-knowledge my compassion has been equally broadened. At least my compassion for others has. I'm still working on letting myself off the hook. I've learned that, as Shakespeare wrote, "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so". Actually, I learned that way back in my somewhat misspent youth but, boy, does it apply here. I've learned that those of us brave enough to explore beyond the boundaries of what's "good", or what's "right", have tapped into a gold mine of possibility with respect to personal relationships and intimacy. I've learned that confidence without humility is just arrogance. I've learned that it's the relationship one has to the concepts of good/bad and right/wrong that give Dominance/submission its power. Just as when a child is told not to do something because it's bad only increases their desire to do it, when we are taught that something is wrong/bad/forbidden acting it out creates excitement where it otherwise might not even exist. The trick, of course, is to get sufficiently beyond our "learning" to be willing to participate in the forbidden, but not so much that the forbidden loses its excitement value. Just like everything the universe strives for, it's a balancing act Like most people, I delight in the forbidden. And what really turbo charges it for me is when I see my partner wrestling with all the delicious conflicts that arise when being instinctively drawn to something you've been taught to believe is bad and wrong. Often this is demonstrated in the mouth-saying-no versus body-saying-yes scenario; kind of like nurture versus nature; learned brain versus lizard brain. Or maybe the conflict is simply between the Angel and Devil parts of the learned brain. However you want to analyze it, it's just so damned exciting to be with a woman who is simultaneously compelled and ashamed. And that she trusts you to take care of her during all of this is an extraordinarily empowering act of faith. So…what do you yearn to do, or have done to you, that you've been taught to believe is bad and wrong? The additional layers of trust, both physical and emotional, necessary for a successful D/s relationship serve to deepen the level of intimacy. Being willing to trust someone enough to let go completely is what we all seek. That level of trust is just so hard to come by. Earning it takes time, and yet it can be lost in an instant. I’ve learned that I’m definitely the Daddy type, which for me is about nurturing and protecting. There is also an intimacy factor in being Daddy that I find missing in Sir or Master. Like most people, I yearn to adore and be adored. Does that mean I don't have a sadistic side? Hell no. But it means that I don't find sadism, for its own sake, intrinsically exciting. If, however, you have some masochistic leanings that you want/need explored I am most happy, literally, to oblige. Or if discipline is what's wanted and needed, I'm down with that too. Or if light bondage and a little role play is all you're up for, that works too. My point is whether you're a full-bore pain slut or someone who simply enjoys the occasional spanking, it matters not to me. Where your rubber meets my road is in you empowering me as your protector. Being called "Daddy" literally causes me to melt. Combine that with begging and pleading, e.g. "Daddy, please, I need you to beat me", "Daddy, please don't make me wear that out in public", or simply "Daddy, please let me cum" and I am one incredibly empowered Daddy. And when Daddy is empowered his little girl gets everything she wants, …and then some. All that's needed is the requisite chemistry and enough shared commitments to give that chemistry a solid foundation. I know, easier said than done. Chemistry is the key, and Mutual Passion is what it unlocks. Whether it’s erotic chemistry, intellectual chemistry, conversational chemistry, or funny-bone chemistry, the more chemistry we share the more passionate our relationship will be. Oh, and by the way, I'm mostly interested in corresponding with people who are sincerely seeking relationships of substance, be they romantic or platonic. Play-only relationships are just too superficial for me at this point in my life. I still seek the holy grail of fairy tales--that one girl to settle down with until one of us kicks the bucket. As for My Ideal Person, oy! what a minefield this is. It's so easy to miss the forest by focusing too much on the trees. When you distill away all the dross it basically boils down to chemistry. And trying to define its components is, while an interesting exercise, not unlike trying to explain what something tastes like and why you like it. It's like any process of nature. The more you know about it, the more you realize you don't know about it. That said, given that we tend to seek out a fair amount of commonality and similarity, I will say that I usually find myself attracted to women with a similar amount of education and some common background. I was born and raised in and around New York City, so you could say I'm a city boy. However, the older I get the more I find myself yearning for those wide-open spaces. Crowds and noise are increasingly anathema to me. When I was younger I dreamed of one day living on top of a mountain, off the grid, producing everything I need to survive, and taking self-sufficiency to the extreme. I'm a bit more attached to my creature comforts now but the concept is still tres appealing. The closest I have gotten to it recently was the walk I used to take every day on my way to and from a job I had up until a year ago, in Manhattan. I would take a small detour just so I could walk eight blocks along the Hudson River. I found looking out over the expanse of the river to be surprisingly calming and centering. And it was even better when the traffic on the adjacent highway was halted, if only for only a minute, by the blessed rosary of red lights. Even when the wind chill was minus 5, and the north wind was blowing so hard that my exposed cheeks and forehead were stinging and throbbing from the assault, and my thoughts for an instant turned to "Gee, if you stayed on the city streets this wouldn't hurt so much", it was still worth it just to be alongside my friend, all the while knowing that her 35 degree water would drain my life in a matter of minutes. Her company kept me connected to what's real. The ebb and flow of her tides is real. My thoughts and feelings are not. Their significance lies only in my thinking that they matter, when in truth they are just so much deceptive and misleading chatter. They are meaningless. And it's meaningless that they are meaningless. Perspective is all. I've been a professional actor, a professional singer, an entrepreneur, a nutritionist, a sommelier, and a businessman. I enjoy analyzing how the world works and what makes people tick. I have a passion for holistic living (and healing), music (everything from Cream, The Beach Boys, and Bruce, to Sarah Vaughn, Ben Webster, and Beethoven), the NY Yankees (Red Sox fans are welcome but we must be willing to keep it in perspective, i.e. it's a game that ultimately has no meaning), quality television (think West Wing, The Shield, Battlestar Galactica, Weeds, Ken Burns' documentaries), history (NYC and England are of particular interest), wine (especially pairing it with food), and single-malt scotch. I like to cook but will generally only make the effort when it's with and/or for someone else. I like to explore places I haven't been before. I delight in wordplay, bad puns, and women's sagging breasts (I have NO idea where that came from--unless it was all those National Geographics I thumbed through when I was a kid). In many ways I play my cards very close to the vest, until I feel safe enough to let my guard down (one of the sad, unfortunate (?) results of life lessons). But once I do I am an unabashed romantic. I will usually weep uncontrollably at the end of Born Free and Wrath of Khan, and Michael Mann's version of Last of the Mohicans reduces me to a puddle, as does Janis Joplin singing "I Need a Man to Love", and the opening strains of "My Heart Will Go On" (it's enough just knowing they're doomed). And speaking of mortal icy waters, I also found my self moved to tears by the story of the US Airways jetliner that ditched into the Hudson two years ago, and the near-miraculous (not a word I use lightly) survival and rescue of everyone on board. I am SO over ads that say "I like music, movies, and long walks on the beach". Who doesn't?! It's more important WHO I'm with, not what we're doing (well, mostly :). And who DOESN'T want someone who is "funny, honest, and caring"? We ALL have a sense of humor. The KEY is to find someone who shares YOUR sense of humor. As for personal histories, they're just that...history. I'm more interested in who you ARE, not who you were. Therefore, I say, give me NOT your laundry list of activities. Nor your litany of universal human qualities. Nor your autobiography, as riveting as I'm sure it is. Express to me your SELF. Your PASSIONATE self. Let's see if we click on that level first. The rest can follow if we're so inclined. If, after reading this, something within you is aroused, then, by all means, give me a shout. If not, I hope you and the quarterback will be very happy. ;-)

I was exchanging e-mails with someone recently, and the one-line reply I received was "What are you into?". Not being clear on the specificity of the question, I replied thusly.

"The best, and most succinct, answer to your question is, I'm into someone who is into me. With me, the chemistry, the connection, and who we are being with each other is first and foremost. What we do is secondary. I'm into long, passionate kisses and even more passionate lovemaking. I'm into the D/s dynamic insomuch as it intensifies the intimacy of the relationship and amplifies my desires to love, honor, cherish (yes, I know), own, dominate, nurture, protect, ravage, use, respect and adore. I am into committing myself for life (not right away, of course), being part of each others families, and having our life together be everything we dreamed of and more.

"If you're asking what kink I'm into, my answer is, that depends on what turns you on. Because if it's not exciting you I'm not interested. But once I'm inside your head enough to know what arouses you, I will take that ball and run with it to the end zone. When properly inspired I can be devilishly creative, and will look for ways to push your envelope, as it were.

"I take it you are familiar with the acronym SSC (safe, sane, and consensual, just in case). "C" is the linchpin. Without that, dominating becomes domineering, and leads to abuse."

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DaddyRoy

About DaddyRoy