So were do I begin...?

This was un-expected. I’ll try to keep the story to the point. Jump back 4 weeks….

Duty Day, always fun on a Naval Ship, I felt a cold heading my way so I asked the Command Duty Officer for permission to leave the ship and run to the Mini-Mart to buy some cold medicine.

Unfortunately it turns out I’m allergic to a chemical component in the medicine, DXM to be precise and I awake 8 hours later in Portsmouth Naval Medical Hospital (having just come out of a coma!) and suffering from Amnesia.

Yep, reads like a movie script doesn’t it. Waking up and not knowing your name or were you are is a terrifying feeling and after the initial panic attack (one cold drop of water running though my inside touching a lighting off every nerve in my body is the only way to describe that feeling of complete and total panic) twisted away from me I was taken to the doctor and he tells me what has happened…. The drug caused a Frontal Lobe Seizure (while I was driving and no-one was hurt luckily has my car flipped off the road) and wiped a lot of my memories due to my brain trying to defrag itself! As my brain swelled it pushed up against the front of my skull causing pressure and stopping blood flow to certain parts of my brain. In an attempt to save the memories stored in the affected areas it moves them to other areas, but not everything was saved and the ones that were saved have been stripped bare.  Four days and constant MRI Scans and blood tests do nothing but then the memories start flooding back, they are out of order and have no emotional context (I know I have eaten ice cream but I can’t remember the taste of ice cream describes it best), it’s called ‘cognitive dissociation’, childhood, friends, family, everything gone…. It’s like looking at a scrapbook, just pictures. memories from someone else injected into me. No emotional context to everything, sense, emotional feelings stripped from every memory that has return. No chronological order to them.

The Navy has done an outstanding job from a medical perspective BUT here is the hard part (sounds like out of a movie still!)… Re-building myself… With only 60 percent of my memories (I say mine but I cant escape to nagging sense of having another persons memories inside my head).

Move forward a few more days… Imagine my surprise to find a laptop in the apartment I don’t remember owning and Bondage.com is one of the favorites. Actually it has its own folder, along with movies, stories and pictures. Memories start coming back as I view these things, not in the right order or with any emotional context but more like looking at a scrapbook. OK. OK This feels right and it doesn’t freak me out. A sense of excitement, carving and need fills me. The whips, hand cuffs and floggers feel familiar. The weight and balance as they rest in my hand is welcoming, the few memories that I find comfort in. But the email account has been recently emptied. No sent messages. No received messages. Nothing! Only a few blog enteries and replies made during the recent 7 month Deployment to the Middle East. I look around the apartment and see the subtle hints of the life style and re-read the blog and profile looking for clues, a hotlist with names and faces that trigger nothing. But there is my face in the profile. Pictures of myself with people and places I don’t know.

I have jumped over a lot of the story but the point I am trying to make is that if anyone was in contact with me, please let me know, say hello. Tell me something to help fill in the gaps (if possible).

Chris.

... never play Rugby against Marines.