So, for very many years I carved something what it was developed over time.  I know what it is.  I want what it is.  I crave what it is.  But of course there are two sides to every story.  My story is I want to be spanked by a lady who enjoys spanking men.  This lady will know how to spank a man and will know (or learn) how to drive him beyond his limits.  Yes I want to be driven to my limits and beyond.  

What I dread is humiliation as I submit to being told to bend over her knee and remain there no matter what until she is finished.  The embarrassment of having to drop my pants down to my ankles when she tells me to do so.  The utter humiliation and embarrassment of bending over her lap knowing that in just a few seconds I will be sore.  Knowing that I will not respond or for that matter even influence when it stopped.  It is as if she owns my body.  Her closeness and intimate behaviour is hers to enjoy and mine to fear. Not knowing what will come and how it will come and for how long it will come. 
Then, those dreaded moments when the underpants are to be brought down to my ankles, when I pass over her lap as I rub slightly offer her nylons, so embarrassing yet my humiliation is hers to enjoy.    Even when she puts me over a bench and bears down with her full might on my bottom again and again.  Her enjoyment I crave just as much as my spanking.