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***Update***well, i just reread my profile for the first time in months, and several things have changed. i'm going to be 33 in april, i'm only babysitting one child on tuesdays and thursdays. the biggest news tho is that i'm no longer single. more details, but for right now that's all. ***end update*** i never know what to say on these things, so i guess i'll just run through the basics and if A/anyone wants to know more then Y/you can just ask.
i am willing to swear by almost any god who is or ever was, that i really Am 31. i'm a pagan, even tho i'm non-practicing and have no specific path right now. i very much enjoy listening to country music, although i like other music as well.
hmmm...i guess what i'm really looking for right now are friends, people that i can discuss the lifestyle with, someone i might learn something new from. my life right now revolves around the kids i'm babysitting. so if you run across me in one of the chatrooms and i seem to only be half there, it's not rudeness, it's me dealing with five kids all under the age of 12. just remember patience and manners are Good things no matter who or what you are.
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ok, fair warning: the following journal entry is a RANT
ok, here's the deal. i mostly keep my mouth shut about things but i am highly irritated. what is the deal with all these Doms coming into a room and calling all the subs/slaves derogatory names? don't get me wrong, i'm not judging, i know some people enjoy that in fact a little name calling turns me on occasionally. but not when it's a complete stranger! just for the record, i have a name you won't wear it out by using it. i am not a slut, whore, cunt, pig, or any other derogatory name you could possibly think up. and i'm only a bitch when i'm pushed into. i'm a very simple person in some ways; i treat people with politeness, and that's how i expect to be treated. also, i give respect to those who have earned it. don't expect me to automatically grant you a title. i cap the names of Doms and Dommes because that's only polite, those i refer to as Sir and Ma'am have taken the time to get to know me and earn my respect instead of trying to take it because of some mytical "right" as a Master.
ok, the rants over...for now.
angy
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ok, so things come to me at the weirdest times. this time i was lying in bed and started thinking about a conversation that i had recently. we were talking about Doms and Dommes who treat subs/slaves as if they're of less value than their tv. so that got me to thinking about what i want, and since typing things out helps me to get them straight in my mind well, here we go.
i want someone who treats me like a person, not a robot with only one purpose in life. i want someone who doesn't just want me, but loves and needs me as well. i want someone who will make me a part of their life. someone who understands that while i enjoy being spanked and otherwise "abused", sometimes i need to cuddle. someone who understands the differnce between pain and hurt.
well, i may have to continue this another time since that's all i can remember. be well
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ok, this is going to sound kind of strange but...i was in the bathtub and i started thinking about some things that i should mention here.
so, here goes...
earlier tonight, someone (and i'm not going to name names) asked me to describe myself. i gave him the usual stats; height, weight, hair and eye color. then later i got to thinking, that isn't a description, it's a mental picture. a true description would have to start with the fact that i'm a bookworm. to paraphrase an author whose name i have unfortunately forgotten, "when things are good, i read. when things are bad, i read more." i'm also a fairly heavy internet junkie, occasional jewelry maker, begining knitter and all around odd kind of girl.
this brings me to my next point.
at one time i had a quote from a song in my profile. it went "and i need you to know you can fall into me, that my arms are wide open and will always be right here waiting staying strong come and fall into me." this also crossed my mind while in the tub. (i think it has something to do with water. not surprising considering i was born and raised in the desert.) i think that's what i want, someone i can fall into and lose myself in them. only up to a point tho, and while i want to lose myself i don't want to lose my Self if you understand the distinction. i don't want to lose what makes me, me and not some random cookie cutter person. i just don't think that i should have to change myself or hide certain parts of myself from the One i'm with. i mean, i'm silly but not stupid; naive, but not neccessarily innocent; i love country and 80's music; i can act half my age at one moment, and twice my age the next; my mind can move so fast that my train (of thought that is) jumps tracks so quickly i can barely keep, and then it can move so slowly that the train derails. i guess what i'm trying to say is that like everyone else in existence, i'm a complicated person and that i thought it would be a nice gesture to let people know in advance about some of those complications tho these are by no means all.
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well, i guess it's time i finally used this journal.
first i wanted to thank E/everyone who took the time to write me. when i joined this site i honestly was not expecting any responses, let alone as many as i have gotten. now i'm not exactly sure how to say this politely, so i'm just going to say it and hope that no One gets offended. i am not looking for a Daddy, and the idea of being with someone the same age as my father does nothing for me. so please, unless you just want to be friends, don't waste your time on me. i'm sure there are plenty of girls out there who want Daddies, i just happen to not be one of em.
i would also like to mention one other thing.
altho i have been in a poly/bi relationship in the past, i am not certain it was right for me. so please don't be disappointed if i don't seem interested in that.
thank you. |
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| Age: 19 |
| Morehead,
Kentucky |
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