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angelgirl409

angelgirl409

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Friends:
LrdZanesommisandrydozy
BoundedSoul
My profile has changed recently. The pictures of me have been removed, all replaced by web finds. My profile picture is of a rose that used to be in my garden that I messed around with on Photoshop. My tats are still up, as well as the time I pierced my thigh, but otherwise, theyre all gone. Blame the assholes who seek to hurt because of anonymity.... its easy to put people down on the internet.



LIMITS

First off, I do not share my private ination very easily. I do not give out my phone number, my skype id, I do not have kik or snapchat, and if I did, I wouldnt be giving them out. I want to get to know a person before these things are exchanged. Ive had some *VERY* bad experiences and have learned my lessons in this regard.

My limits are the word cunt, cutting and knife play, anal, illegal activity, ageplay, animal play, toilet play (including watersports and roman showers vomit and scat), children, animals, other subbies MastersMistresses (if you own someone, we cant play), those who are owned (same category as the last), idiots, assholes, fake Doms, anyone who is married (my limits are reflective of my past and my morals.. please dont take them personally)




Well... lets start at the beginning...Ive only had one rl Ds relationship, which was a couple of years ago now. I was the sub, collared, for about a year and a half. Besides that, Ive had one other BDSM scene, which I was the sub. Ive been interested in the lifestyle since before I should have known what it was. I love EVERYTHING about body art... the look of ink on skin, the meaning behind it, the glistening of steel... mmmmmm love it! I have four of my own tattoos, and 10 current piercings... but I consider myself a pin cushion with the amount of piercings that have failed on me... I used to have small crosses in each nipple, but sadly, those never healed correctly... yes I have pics... NO I dont send them or any of my nudes out... if thats what youre looking for... look elsewhere... Im not a person who really sends out my nudes. They were done for a specific purpose and not to send out to every tom, dick and harry on the net. I love love love hockey. Im a true blue islanders fan and go to mostly every home game, and record the away games. Im sort of new to the sport... but Im learning more and more. I got hit by the puck TWICE now... and while I enjoy pain, being hit by a puck fucking SUCKS! I dont recommend it! This might seem like an odd stream of consciousness to some... but I really dont understand why hot, sparkly vampires cant exist!! A couple of years ago, I bought the twilight books, and went to see all the movies (honestly the movies cant hold a candle to the books, but that usually the case). Ive always been into vamp movies, vamp shows, and vamp books - this started with the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, with Kristy Swanson. Its so fascinating to me. How one person can live off of anothers life essence... that the idea of a vampire is in every single religion and culture.... the whole sexual innuendos... and the fact of penetration and pulling of someones life force... simply remarkable! I really wish that they werent just folklore. I wish that Edward Cullen really existed... and I wish that Vishous (from J.R. Wards Black Dagger Brotherhood series) was real. Call me crazy... but its just a hot idea in every way. Want to discuss vampire books with me? Go for it! Its one of my favorite subjects and Ive read quite a few series. And, if anyone who is curious... I dont do the blood drinking thing in real life, but dont judge anyone if they choose to do it themselves. I might be a pain slut that really enjoys getting choked, but I also really love to cuddle... that sounds so odd, but its true. I think a great scene can only be made better by a good snuggling after it. Anal is a big limit of mine... based on some bad experiences... so dont push the subject. I have found out in life that I am who I am... and shouldnt let anyone else change that. So... if you dont like something about me, and I feel it shouldnt change, it wont change. Im an Aries ram, and can be VERY stubborn... I know who I am and like the person Ive become... if I feel the need to change, I will. With this, I tend to be honest to a fault... I only expect the same for anyone I come in contact with. Since people seem to be so adamant about how long theyve been into the lifestyle, let me say this - Ive known Ive been into this since I was 14. Started exploring it in real life when I was 18. So - thats over 10 years.

Ive been getting a lot of messages from older men... and honestly... I really dont see how someone who has 20 year difference in age can really connect... that is my personal opinion, and shouldnt be taken personally... if you are more than about 10 or so years older than me, I really doubt anything real will come of it... sorry. Also, if you are looking for a slave, please look elsewhere. Nothing in me has the ability to obey without question, without limits. I need the right to say no, I need the right to have limits. I will not compromise about this. I am submissive, and sometimes switch online, **NOT** a slave! If you currently own someone, or are married, or otherwise in another relationship, NO THANK YOU!!! Im not really into that... and no... I dont want to join a poly house. Honestly... if you need to be a bully to make yourself feel better... you need to get a life and look inward to why you feel the need to put people down. Putting someone else down doesnt make you dominant... it makes you AN AHOLE! Enough of my ranting.... if you want to pm me to start up an argument or insult me... you honestly dont need to bother. Ill probably end up blocking you





Angel

Full profile on a different site... that starts with an F. Has life in it. You should know about it if youre here.

p.s. Yes... I know I make my smiles the wrong way... but Ive been doing it for years and Im not really going to stop anytime soon.








Non-Negotiable Limits

Anal (a couple of really bad past experiences, as well as a recent panic attack while trying to work past it has landed this here)
Cutting (I am a reed cutter while I am not ashamed of my past, this is something that I still struggle with, and is, therefore, a limit)
Poly (while I do not judge those who are poly, it is not something I can do personally)
Emotional Sadism (vie had quite a few really bad relationships in the past where a master has turned out to be an emotional sadist. while I am a painslut, emotional sadism is almost, to me, like mental abuse and I will not accept this kind of torture)




Quotes and such

I never wanted to be different I just wanted to be me!



But then words were the most powerful thing in the universe. Cuts and bruises always healed, but words spoken in anger were most often permanent. They didnt damage the body, they destroyed the spirit.



People who think theyre happy just havent thought about it enough. People who think theyre happy are actually just stupid.



Lies dont fix things. They dont even make things easier, at least not in the long run. Best to tell the truth and then clean up an honest mess.



That was the true terror of love, that you could love with your whole heart, your whole soul, and lose both.



He thought about all the holes in him, the blank places, the voids where others felt things. When it came down to it, he was really just a screen, more empty than solid, his emotions blowing through him, only the anger catching and holding.



But every once in a while, from out of the blue, someone reaches the quiet place where you spend your private time and changes the way you see yourself.


It's 2017 and this shouldn't need to be said, but - NO MEANS NO! I don't want my limits pushed. If I say no, it means no. It doesn't mean that maybe you can change my mind. My limits are my limits for a reason. Don't be so bug headed to think that you're the one to change them. They're not going to change. They set panic within me, and I don't need that.
I miss the feel of a hand in my hair, one around my throat, breath on my neck, a command in my ear... I miss the feel of being dominated. It's an ache in my head and heart.
i'm pretty open minded about most sex and kink things.... but a clown party? OH FUCK NO! i just found a new limit.

second new limit of the night: bugs on me. no no no no no no no!
"Kindness costs nothing to give, but to the person who receives it, it could be the one thing that saves their life. The one thing that gives them hope in their darkest hour. No act of charity or kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

has it really almost been 3 years since i cut last??! holy shit.

Drowning in my loneliness.
How long must I hold my breath?
So much emptiness inside.
I can fill the deepest sea

I'm a romantic that hates weddings. Figure that one out.

Yum


*flying leap* mmmmmmmm hot heroes

*DARE* I watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show every single day on IFC for the next week?!?  DARE I?!?!!?!

it's been over two years now and yet the compulsion is still there... i've promised so many that i wouldn't... but sometimes i just want to give in and give up

i might be a pain slut, but i still hate the dentist. he takes sadism to a whole different level. my mouth is in so much pain >_<

Food places should be more concerned about people with FOOD ALLERGIES!

 

I've been to this place before without a problem - until today. I told the waitress before we ordered that I had a sesame allergy. We ordered some appetizers, that we told her we would be sharing, and then some sushi. The pork katzu comes out and I'm eating it. About five minutes after my first few bites she comes back and says "oh, you ate some?" After replying yes, she tells me there is sesame in the sauce. An argument ensues with the waitress telling me that there's only a little, and it should be fine. At this point, since I've already consumed a food with my allergen, we got up and walked away. As we were leaving, she continued to argue that I would be fine, not knowing or caring about my allergy, or how severe it might be. She proclaims, as we're leaving, "call me from the hospital!".

 

 

was this seriously the way it should be handled?!?! no. absolutely not.  she had no way of knowing how severe my allergy might have been. there are some people with such severe allergies that even kissing someone with the food on their breath can kill them. thankfully, my allergy is not THAT severe, but my wrists are bandaged up as if i slit them opened and i want to scratch my skin off the bone. i could have been on the floor of the restaurant, grabbing my throat, not able to breath for all she knew. the fact that i had told her before we ordered that i had an allergy, she should have been more careful! i seriously want to write the owner a strongly worded letter about my experience. since there is a language barrier, as this was a sushi place, it might have been a language issue.

 

i am just amazed at how poorly this situation was handled. i was so angry at the table that i was visibly shaking, trying to explain to her that you cannot simply tell me that i'll be fine when you have no idea how bad my allergy is.  she looked at me dumb-face-ed-ly, not knowing or understanding what was going on and why i was so mad. she said "well, there isn't that much in there" when she didn't comprehend that only a little of it will cause the reaction.

 

people need to further their education about food allergies, ESPECIALLY in the food industry! this should not have happened.

 

 

we wound up at a burger place that is, thankfully, sesame seed free.

right wrist, all wrapped up
left wrist, all wrapped up

off to put on a collar, put in a gag, put a hood on, tie my tits up, suction my nipples, smack my pussy until it's red and cum hard from it all. oh yea, i'm totally gonna have some fun tonight ^_^

guess i'm back to looking.... </3

 

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

heartsick....... therefore, haven't slept in fucking 2 days.... i hate this fucking feeling and having a heart that is completely and utterly breakable.... </3

FML. Utterly alone.

i miss my Mentor, Protector & Teacher... there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think of him...& that it doesn't hurt that i had to let him go... there's not a day goes by that i don't miss him immensely... i love you Wahya.... and i know that i had to let you go.. but that doesn't make it hurt any less. </3

i'm starting to think that it's me.... and i'm starting to feel like it's hopeless and i'm not ever going to find that one person who i'm supposed to fit with.... maybe some people just don't have their other half.... maybe they die half of a whole person

i've come to the conclusions that Clarithromycin is the devil.  all of the mental stuff and the itching/hives and the compulsions and the hell i've been going through for the last 2 weeks has been caused as the side effect of this med (that also happened this past april as well). it is pure, unadulterated evil and i want to never take it again.

i swapped out two of my pics.... one of them is now the bandages from when i got my tats touched up and the other was done tonight... needles + boredom + no sleep = a bloody fun mess!!!

 

^Angel^

a note about my Protector:

Wahya is the only one that has earned my utmost respect, and he spent over 8 years earning my respect and trust. While he is taking personal time off o, as well as away from the lifestyle, i am still considering myself under his Protection. He will not be able to be in the same capacity has he has been in the past, but he is still important to me and i will not forget his teachings or what he means to me. he has helped me more than i have words to describe and he has a permanent place in my heart.

 


 

For the time being, Wahya has felt the need to step away from and the lifestyle. i still have contact with him, but he will not be able to be reached via , nor will i give out his personal email. if you feel the need to contact him, you may send me an inbox and i will try to get him the message. my hope is that he finds his center and peace soon and returns...

while it hurts me to lose him as my Mentor and my Protector, i do understand that he needs time to get his head straight. as he said, he cannot help or teach me, or anyone else for that matter, if he cannot help himself. it will not be a quick fix - but i will support him as he takes this time off. i love him with all my heart and he is truly the only person who has seen every side of me, accepted each side, never sought to change me, only ever wanted the best for me, and wanted to help me out for my own good. he will be severely missed in my life, and i am doing my best to accept his decision. i wish him a safe journey and hope he knows how much i love him and how much he means to me.

while this time away might hurt me, i do understand that he needs to find the help he needs and i wish to support him. the last few days i've been railing... i've sat down, and thought long and hard about it... yes - it hurts so incredibly much... but i understand that he is not like the countless others before him.... he is not throwing me away because he feels i'm unworthy or unloved. he is doing so because, in the long run, he wishes to help me out.

his words are sometimes cryptic and confusing, but i know he always has my best interest in mind. while i don't totally understand the reasoning or some of his parting message, i know that he loves me deeply and i share the same love. he is the only person who has seen my complete submission shine through my eyes, to the point where i serve him as a slave. no one has ever earned this right before him, nor do i think many, if any, will after him. i hope he returns soon, but in the mean time, he will always be in my heart and on my mind. he is not walking out on me. he is doing what needs to be done to help himself, and by extension me.

i hope he knows what he means to me... this small note doesn't even BEGIN to cover my thoughts about him and how much he's helped me and how far i've come under his guidance.

i love you Master - always.

^angel^

 


 

update: as of 5/27/2011 - Wahya has released me from his Protection. he feels the need to step away from the lifestyle and i offered to release him of his promises to me, which he has accepted. it pains me more than i can describe that i needed to offer this to him, and that he accepted, but i think it is best for him. i wish him luck on his journey and can only hope that, one day, he might return. what is that trite saying? "if you love something, let it go" ...that's exactly what i'm doing.

i had a REALLY rough night last night.  a couple of people basically walked out on me, one of which had known me since i was 16 and i had moved in with him to escape my family (which only lasted 6 months, and i feel fractured our relationship) ...another  was someone i truly cared about as a friend...  and he threw me away as so much garbage, and everything just piled up.... believe me, if i could have AVOIDED cutting last night, i would have.. but the choice was made and once you get past a certain point, there is no return.  for the last 8 months, i teetered on that edge, always wanting to but controlling myself.  last night, i lost control.  no matter what i tried to do, i couldn't calm myself down and the person who i went to for help ended up pushing me OVER the edge of panic instead of helping me, as well as kicking me out in the process.  before this last slip, i went 8 months without cutting... and before that i went 6 years.  it seems like i'm slipping back into my old habits and that scares the fucking BEJESUS out of me.

the promise i made to my Protector was broken... the promise i made to several friends was torn to shreds.... but i felt that i did what i had to do to avoid downing bottles of pills... because please believe me - with the medications i'm on for my pain, it could have been easily done in a couple of gulps of water.  these thought patterns scare me as well....  but i felt i did what i had to do to survive.

8 months down the goddamned tube.  thrown away because of weakness. i wish i had the strength to stop myself last night, but i didn't.

8 months.  while it's still a struggle (it always will be like any other addiction), i have not given in to temptation and i am still "clean"... it's not easy and will always be an issue...

seven months clean after 6 years. i am fucking proud of myself.

for those that don't know what i've been struggling with - i'm a reformed cutter. i went 6 years without putting a mark on myself intentially... i slipped and i've now been "clean" for 7 months

 

i did something stupid for a "master" who turned out to be screwing with me, my mind and my heart. and it was wrong of him to ask this of me, and i shouldn't have agreed. i was clean for 6 years and stupidly, i thought i was over it. i know now that this will be a lifetime struggle. i cut for him in a scene over skype. when things went wrong and i flipped out, i went back to a dark place that i hadn't been to in 6 years and i cut for depression.

 

now, it's been 7 months and i am proud to say i'm trying to make it another 6 years. but this is STILL something that i struggle with. this is still something constantly on my mind.

 

i went SIX YEARS without putting a mark on my body before my last "master" and he knew of my past... he asked me to do a cutting scene for him and when shit went bad (in the relationship and with life) and he disappeared on our 3 month anni without telling me where he went, i slipped... and after 6 fucking years of not cutting, i slipped and cut for depression. fuckhead broke up with me for it. i've been clean 7 months now.. i thought i was over it. i thought it was behind me and he knew about my past and my cutting it was wrong of him to ask me to do that for him and then break up with me for cutting for depression.. i am no blaming him - i blame myself for allowing myself to go there. this is one of the reasons that cutting is on my non-negotiable limit list. i will not let myself or others cut me because i cannot mentally handle this without spinning out of control.

 

my scars are VERY visable. they're on my arm and mostly, people see the burn before the cut scars... so i get questions of that.. my friend that i'm about to visit, she struggles with it too.. and the friend i lost last may (Trist), he knew about it and he was struggling with it.... and he came to me a couple of months before he died and asked me how i stopped and wanted my help

 

i'm not ashamed of this part of my past... and i know some are.. i've accepted it and i try to help those struggling with it... because i feel best in life when helping people i feel USEFUL.... like i matter like i was meant to be there... and that's the only time i do feel that way... i have a lot of self hatred and self loathing and self deprecation and such

i know it's hard to explain... especially when you're dealing with a judgemental fuck and trying to explain the mindset and they tell you you're doing it for attention... and blaming you for shit... believe me.... i hate that mentality when i'm being honest and open about something PAINFUL to me - because believe me, it is painful and i still struggle with not putting a blade to my skin or heating something up and burning myself.

what the FUCK is it about me and my personality that people seem to just like to either create drama around me, judge me, or tell me how i'm doing shit wrong?!?

 

i never ASKED to be the way i am... i can't help who i am and how i am.. i worked very hard to be someone i can be proud of. i'm not saying i'm always happy and that i don't have problems - if you know me at all, you know that's not true. but why should my outspokenness or strong will bring drama? why do people care that i march to the beat of my own drum? i'm not a rebel - i'm just me. i am who i am. "I never WANTED to be different... i just WANTED to be me" sighs


i don't understand why it's so wrong to society and people that i'm different... that i'm weird. i joke about how i "fux with the normies" but it's true. i scary normal people usually.... in college, i had an entire table of frat boys thinking i actually spent time in a mental institute - while i haven't, i wasn't comfortable around a table of people who i didn't know and my friends have told me i tend to act out in those types of situations.

i've always said that if you want to know more about me, you need to go to my friends. they know me better then i know myself. in college, i was truly enlightened by my close circle of friends. i don't realize my own behaviors and when they brought something to my attention, we would discuss it. i'm told that i have two different sides to myself in public. the side where i act out and act crazy because i'm unconformable, and the side where it's more personal, more of who i really am... my friends, when hanging out with me one on one, have told me that i am simply not the same person. this was not something i ever realized until my friends told me about it and helped me understand. it's not a conscious thing - it's not something i was aware of... but i know i do it, and it's just a part of me. if you can't handle my whacky, crazy side, there's no way you can really find the true person i am

 

^Angel^

another april 9th... another year older.   *sighs*  28? really??!  >_<

Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh, therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse

"Nobody likes you/Everyone left you/They're all out without you/ Having fun/Everyone left you/Nobody likes you/They're all out without you/Having fun" this seems to be the running, repeating theme of the thoughts wrapping around my head. not fun >_> it's pounding me in my head and making me doubt everyone and everything, including myself

it's been 5 months and i can honestly say i'm *A LOT* better than i was.. but i'm still working through a lot of things.  i went through a lot last year... and i'm taking some time for myself to work through some things and get over the pains of last year.

new year.  time to shed last year and look forward to the next.  i'm happy to do so.  2010 was a rough year and i'm ready to move on from it.

*so* wrong and yet.... *SO* frekkin AWESOME!!!!! i've always said they were sexy and have been laughed at for it! but this boys are *HAWT!!*  ...thought i would share!!   enjoy! (:

http://youbentmywookie.com/wtf/these-aint-your-mamas-typical-disney-princes-7312
"But then words were the most powerful thing in the universe. Cuts and bruises always healed, but words spoken in anger were most often permanent. They didn’t damage the body, they destroyed the spirit." ~Acheron
it's been about a month now... and yet it still hurts...  i still cry about it..  i wonder what exactly went wrong... i wonder if he was lying to me the entire time or if his feelings were real...  he deletes my messages without ever reading them, continues to lie to me, to ignore my existence.. to act as if i never meant anything to him... maybe i never did mean anything to him.  he did a number on me...  he fucked my head up and he fucked with my heart...  he promised me things that never happened, and i wonder if he ever meant what he said to me... if he ever meant to follow through with his promises...  it hurts daily... but with each passing day, it starts to hurt a little less.. i think.   i don't even know

i know that what i felt for him was real... i don't lie about my emotions or my feelings...  i am a passionate person and i can't help what i feel.  what i felt for him was real and the things he said to me make me doubt him and his words....

it's been a month and yet i continue to hurt.  i wonder when it will stop hurting... i know that people tell me time will help but i honestly don't know if that is it... i have started to move on but  that doesn't stop the pain. 

*sighs*  one day....

^Angel^
a little over 3 months.. not so good... but alone again.  i was released.
alright... i've been on this site for a LONG time now... and basically, i've met one cool person on it.   i have joined and only occasionally come here to check my msgs and who's viewing me... all in all, for me, this site has been a HUGE bust!
*hits her head against her desk and sighs*    here's hoping that 2009 will be better than 2008..... PLEASE??!
alright... i don't know if this happens to anyone else... but my tats on my inner wrists have been itching lately... and not just itching either... they've been hotter.... and the ink in the tat is somewhat raised... it happens usually with only the two on my wrists... and sometimes it's just the right wrist... and sometimes just the left wrist. i went to the allergist and they claimed i was allergic to some things... and it might be an allergic reaction.... it's really bothersome!

This might seem like an odd stream of consciousness to some... but I really don't understand why hot, sparkly vampires can't exist!!

Just recently bought the twilight books, and got to see the movie tonight too.  I’ve always been into vamp movies, vamp shows, and vamp books.  It’s so fascinating to me.  How one person can live off of another's life essence...  that the idea of a vampire is in every single religion and culture....  the whole sexual innuendos... and the fact of penetration and pulling of someone's life force... simply remarkable!

I really wish that they weren't just folklore.  I wish that Edward Cullen really existed... and I wish that Lestat was really.  Call me crazy...  but it's just a hot idea in every way.

http://a890.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/61/m_6969a1ba0eea5c2c774bdc7dceeedbe9.jpg   

hehe... that is totally an awesome pic
alright...  time for a journal that's a little less negative....   a list of my current and failed piercings....

Peircings:
Left industrial x1
Right industrial x2 (both failed)
Right nipple x5 (all failed)
Left nipple x4 (all failed)
Right tragus x1
Tongue x2 (1 failed)
Lip ring x2 (1 failed)
Eyebrow ring x1
Lobe piercing x6 (four currently)
Upper Cartilage x2 (1 failed)



i like steel...  (:

**for those of you who don't understand the lingo....  a failed piercing is one that, for whatever reason, doesn't heal properly and must be taken out and closed...**
"Valentine's Day...  Pan across an empty lot"

yea.  it's Val Day...  and i'm alone..  this holiday only causes trouble it seems... when you ARE in a relationship, it puts pressure on both parties, and when you're not, it's just a cause for pain and depression.

i've only had a boyfriend (/Master) on Valentine's day once, and all we did that day was fight.  in high school, i used to crush little heart cookies... and it seems like i might be continuing that tradition again this year.

god i hate Valentine's Day
Alrighty people...  I just went to see RENT this past Saturday with my friend... so that could mean only one thing.... NEW PICS!!!


these are the most UP-TO-DATE pics I have.  my new hair color is "not-so-punky" red...  if you want the whole hair salon convo and experience... i will tell but ask.


ssoooooo!!  that's me (:  hope ya enjoy!

Much <3
^Angel^

alright.  these are some quotes that i've collected about myself and my life and my sense of humor and everything really.  it just explains everything in so many ways.


"it's a harsh lesson to learn about real friends    and i learned you really have few of them in life   and they come and go easily   so enjoy it while it lasts" ~Me!

"Life is full of sadness with only moments of happiness..that's what friends are for" -Jessica 
 
"The heart may freeze
Or it can burn
The pain will ease if I can learn
There is no future
There is no past
I live this moment as my last
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road no other way
No day but today!"

"TEA AND CAKE OR DEATH!!" -Eddie Izzard

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." --Walter Winchell

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
--Elbert Hubard

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." --G. Randolf

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.  If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night."  ~Bill Watterson

"A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else." --Unknown

"Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure."
-- Jewish saying

"All I ever wanted was something to believe in. 
All I ever needed was somebody to love me
For who I am..... 
For who I am..... 
Then maybe I'd know what my worth is,
Maybe I'd find what my truth is. 
Then I could be real.  
And I would be real.."
--Inappropriate

"Your anger's real but just beware-
it's a waste to feel that fate's unfair.
There's no such thing as tragedy.
I can't resent what's meant to be.
There's only yes, only tonight.
We must let go to know what's right.
No other course, no other way.
No day but today...."
~Rent 1996

Jackie: Bluch! Oh, C'mon! A sweatervest??
Donna: Jackie, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all
Jackie: well, if i followed that rule, then i would never speak again
Eric: Yea, that's kinda the idea...
Jackie: Okay, I'm going! *turns to leave then turns back to Eric* You look like a circus poodle! *leaves*

Sideshow Bob: You do know I used to have a, hrm, problem with trying to kill people...
Cecil: Goodness! I had no idea! For you see i've been on mars for the last decade, in a cave, with my eyes shut, and my fingers in my ears.

Charlie: What do you have against my family?
Willy Wonka: It's not just your family, it's the whole idea.  You know, they're always telling you what to do or what not to do and it's not a condusive to a creative atmosphere.

"When you reach for the stars, all you get are stars, but we found a whole new spin. When you reach for the heavens, you get the stars thrown in." ~Mary Poppins the Broadway Musical

I can't be anything but me.

Inappropriate - Deal with it!!

Hello! My name is: SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO AWAY!!

I never wanted to be different -  I just wanted to be me. -BMEzine.com

"good friends are irreplaceable, good times are what happens when your not paying attention, life is what happens well your trying to figure out what to do with your life, the idea that we're supposed to be happy all the time is the leading cause of misery, addicts never quit they just go along time between there last and next fix, the future happens weather you want it to, the past is always going to be behind you wait till you retire and have nothing better to do to look back at it, and most importantly: forgiveness is letting go of the idea of an alternate past, let it go there's nothing you can do to change the past and thinking about what you should have done only hurts until you stop thinking about it, forget who you were decide who you want to be." ~Jaylor McCaffrey

Wow.


I’ve been getting a huge response to my ad... and I really do appreciate it all!!

At the moment,  I am really wanting to explore more of my sub side in r/l before I even get close to being ready to Domme in r/l.

so  for right now...  I am looking for a guy that will be able to tame my very feisty spirit.  I’ve been an online sub for many many years...  too many in fact... but I’ve only experience r/l submission in two separate occasions - once when I was collared to my first and only r/l Master (J) and second to a guy that emailed me from a personal page like this and wound up liking each other... but he had to go away. For a while.  Please don't ask

I have several photos of myself on my page... and several more at the request... but not everyone gets that privilege... sorry.. I still need some privacy from here to my r/l.


So.  I am now waiting to hear.

Signed,
^Angel^