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|  Again... Things have changed. Amazing how life has the habit of that. New info added below...
The rollercoaster of life amazes me every day.
~~I am single, but not interested in anything romantic. I only want friends to talk to. I've been in a vanilla relationship for the past 2 years, and I've missed being in this community. I'm taking time to work on me, cuz until I fix ME, I can't truly be part of an US. I'm willing to talk to people of both genders, but totally identify as lesbian.
I am Pagan. My religion is very important to me. If that bothers you, you should probably not message me. If you're open and curious, I'll chat with pretty much anyone. I try to stay open to others' beliefs as well... Whatever works for you is fine with me, as long as you don't try to change my beliefs. I'll do the same for you.
So. That's mostly me. I wish everyone luck with their searches. I hope you are blessed with the one who completes you. Whoever that may be...
Thank You for Your time.... Angi 
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So... The details didn't iron out. I do not want to just jump into another relationship, and at this point, I'm ONLY interested in WOMEN. If you've ever had the male part in any way attached to you without a harness or something similar, I'm not interested. Friendships are cool. I also am not into the Uber-Bitch Domme idea. I'll change my profile soon... Just.... Not today. Or not right now, at least.... Maybe later.
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My ex Master and I are trying to iron out some things with plans to get back together. We both have some things we need to do before we can actually live together, so we're going to work on those while I go back to Georgia. She could follow me, or I could come back up here. We aren't sure yet. I just know that I'm willing to do almost anything to be with her. Maybe love will find a way if we both work hard enough. My fingers are crossed and I'm praying to the Goddess every minute of every day....
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For those who haven't seemed to grasp the concept... I am not interested in any kind of romantic anything. I am cool with chatting with people who can string more than 3 words together and make it sound like it means something - as friends. No romance. No hooking up. No changing my mind just cuz you think I'm too pretty not to belong to you. (yeah, I've heard that one. Funny, huh?) Please. No more messages about wanting to get to know me better so that I'll wanna be with you once I'm healed in a day or 2 from the most intense heartbreak I've ever experienced. Sure. I'll get right back to you on that one. :P
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I'm moving back to Georgia soon, but I'm not sure when. I'm also not sure exactly where I'll be, but North Georgia is very likely. I've been bruised and battered emotionally lately, and am not about to get involved with anyone. Not to mention that I have someone I wanna be with once I've had some time to heal and work things out so that I can. Please. Stay respectful. Any disrespect will be dealt with rudely. Be prepared. I'm a slave, but I'm not a doormat, and I'm not stupid. And I'm not ~your~ slave.
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For those who may be paying attention.... I'm going to be offline for at least a few days, possibly a week. I'm gonna go hang out with friends who live an hour from me, and they don't have internet. So.... I won't be answering mails after tomorrow afternoon for a bit.
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Another birthday. One year older. One year wiser? Maybe.... Sometimes, I'm not so sure. I've been bounced around and bruised (emotionally) a bit this past year, but I'm still standing... For the most part, at least. It's been a rollercoaster of a year, but that's life, I guess. I'm hoping that it'll smoothe out some, allow me to explore myself a bit more, see more of who I am. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a sub with occasional Domme tendencies. I need a poly relationship, and I need anyone I get involved with to understand and accept that. I don't want the ability to sleep around with anyone I take a fancy to. I want specific people around me that love me, and that I love in return. That's been quite the challenge to find, though. I'm not sure I believe the possibility's out there.... At least, not as much as I used to. But, hey..... Anything's possible.... Right?
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I'm sure we can all guess how that whole "So... There's this Dom...." thing ended. *Sighs* So I'm feeling bruised. Not getting involved in another relationship any time soon. Need to heal. For the most part, in my experience... Men suck. For the very few and far between good ones out there... Keep it up, we need you. Teach classes. Spread the Goodness.... Please.
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So.... There's this Dom.... *winks*
More to come soon.... Keep your fingers crossed for me... ? (Never thought I'd let the slave in me out again.)
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Well. It's been a while since I wrote anything on here. Life has been nuts. For the past few months, I've been dealing with sciatica. I've had 2 sinus infections and 2 staph infections, so I've felt pretty lousy. I'm always in pain that gets so severe, I have to use crutches to try to keep some weight off my left leg. Add into that, my stepbrother was shot twice while partying to celebrate his 34th birthday this past week. The wake was pretty cool, considering.... I know he'd never want to see us cry, and can hear him saying in my head "don't cry... be happy". I like to think that this way, he can watch over more of the family all at once, and keep up with all the gossip.... I miss you, Joe. ;)
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So... I went to the Lanier Munch with my roommate this past Sunday. Once I relaxed enough to stop wanting to run away screaming (I'm very shy in person), I had a good time. Everyone was friendly and easy to talk to. I had a blast listening and watching them all interact with each other like they've been doing this for years. (I think they have!) The Ladies were beautiful and fun, but obviously Dominant. I loved being around them, absorbing everything said (that I could hear... LOL). Thank you for the invitation, and the wonderful time. I think I'll be back, dragging a few others with me. *Grins and blows kisses*
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Head spinning, thoughts racing,
Body restless, hands moving.
Emotions surging, churning.
Soul feels lost, fights the urge
To jump up, stomp feet,
Cry loudly, throw things…
For what purpose….
To get what’s needed.
To end distance,
To restart what wasn’t begun,
To relight the spark
That was lost before it lived.
Eyes tear, deep blue pools
Full of longing, yearning,
Reaching out…. For what…
For the promises made.
The promises no longer shining
With hope of being kept.
What’s left…. Heartache, yes…
Pain… yes… despair… not yet.
Hope… yes, still a little…
Trickling a touch of light
Into the shadows, showing…
What…. Showing love,
Showing tiny seeds of hope
Ready to bloom
With the deepest of voices
Calling, commanding,
Pushing to be obeyed.
Waiting… wanting…
Longing… yearning…
A garden drying in the hot sun
No water in sight…
A time for clouds and rain.
Reaching…
Greeted by sunny skies
When rain is what's needed.
Soft sighs in the shadows….
Whispered prayers, damp cheeks…
Craving the rain of Dominance
On the garden of submission
So that it may thrive….
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There are going to be some changes soon, some re-vamping of my profile. I'm going to change it to Switch, most likely, due to my feeling the need to exercise the Domme with a sub/slave. This need has been building for a while, and I've been fighting it, but it's something I can't really fight anymore. I hate being a switch, probably due to the flack switches get for not being able to make up their mind which side they want to be on. (That's what some hard core online closed minded lifestylers have told me... It seems they think there's only one side or the other, not both within each person. Thanks, guys, for telling me what ~I'm~ feeling.... :P) So... I'm on the lookout for a sub/slave, one who's able to keep up with My requirements, one who's not into a lot of extremes, one who's willing to let Me spread my Domme wings and learn how to fly, taking them with Me... And no bullshit, from either direction. We will go slow cuz I've had it with those who start off with a bang, but lose interest within a few days, or the first time they're allowed to get off. Maybe I'm too generous...
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Something unexpected happened last week. My oldest son called to tell me that I'm going to be a gramma this year. His wife's expecting their first baby. *Smiles* I don't feel old enough, but I'm happy about it. I can't wait to spoil him/her. Since I'm the last girl born to my family (that we know of), and there have been plenty of births, we want a girl, and are hoping this is our chance for one. My only true wish is that the baby be healthy (and give my son hell). LOL
For those who have sent messages to our couple's profile... Please... If there isn't any information or a picture on your profile, make sure you send them with the message. Also... After you've sent a message to the couple's profile, send it here as well.
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He's moving. He'll be in Georgia from Texas next Friday morning. I'm nervous and excited, and a bit worried. This will be my first r/l D/s relationship and I don't want to disappoint Him. He says I'm a treasure and could never disappoint Him. I'm maintaining a "we'll see" attitude with that for the moment. Right now, I'm just concentrating on trying to remember to breathe.... *Smiles*
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Ok. Things have grown, just in the last week or so. We're a lot closer, I'm a lot happier, and He's saying He's my *One*, that I'm a treasure. We'll see how it all ends.... Wish me luck?  Happiness looks possible.... |
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So. There's this Dom....
No, it's not anything more than friendship just yet, but it's looking promising. I'm cautiously hopeful. I'm still very hesitant about getting into a relationship, and He's being very patient about that. Thankfully. *smiles* We'll have to see where it goes.... |
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Things have changed again, as they generally do. No, I'm not interested in being owned right now. No, I'm still not playing with anyOne. I'm taking some time off to heal. I have to admit that part of me is hoping something will work out with One that I've grown close to. Only time will tell.... For now, though, nothing but friendship will be accepted by me.
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Just to make things a bit more plain and stuff... While I am under consideration, my Mentor does not want me to play with anyOne else. We both also believe that in order for us to be sure if we are suited, we should not be considering other options. I am open to being friends with O/others, but that is all for now. At least, until we know more about how things are going to go with He and I. Thanx for Y/your understanding...... |
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I'm not changing my profile... yet.... but wanted to state that my Mentor has me under consideration, as I am considering Him as Master. He has been my Friend, my Anchor, my Joy for over 7 months. He was there for me through all the drama with the past Master, along with my personal family dramas. He knew we may never have been anything but friends, but He stood by me, anyway. His only wish was for me to be happy. He sees His chance to be the One who brings me happiness. We're taking things slow, trying things a bit at the time to see if we can deal with each other. Thank You to those who have sent encouraging comments. To the one who sent something other than encouragement, I have one thing to say... :P~~. *Smiles impishly*
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Things have changed. I'll be changing my profile soon, just not feeling strong enough yet. I am no longer owned, but have a Mentor. I decided that moving away from this state, and my family, was not possible. That's all I'm sharing on that subject for now. I will take some time to heal, and any requests or emails will be shared with my Mentor for approval. |
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Ok, another rant.... You think *I* am lost, disturbed, and need professional help?? Have you looked at your nickname, buddy? On top of that, you can't harass me with your own stuff, you have to use someone else's? Come on, can't harassment be more original than that? Please.... How big a moron does it take to steal someone else's routine? That's like a copy-cat serial killer. And to the one who originally sent the first message... someone's stealing your gig, maybe you should do something about it.... And for the record, do your psychiatrists know you're on this site, and messaging people you don't know with stupid sh*t like that? Maybe you should tell them.... There are meds that may help....
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I realize that I'm not sposed to criticize others here, and I try to stick to that. But when I get a message saying that I'm lost, disturbed, and in need of professional help, then find out I'm blocked from responding to find out *why* someone who doesn't know me thinks that of me, it kinda ticks me off. I'm sorry you feel that way, but I am *not* sorry I am who I am. If you'd take the time to chat with me, find out who I truly am, instead of judging me on the few words you see here, then you are not worth the time it takes to delete your closed minded, judgemental, totally uncalled for message. Hope you have a nice day, I'm sure you know who you are. By the way, you seem to be the only one who thinks so, because all the messages I've received say the opposite of what you think. Gee... maybe their minds are open enough to believe I'm entitled to be myself without criticism. Goddess, I hate closed minded morons!!
Ok, I think I've finished that rant. Maybe I'll post a poem written for my Master next time. Y'all have a great day!!! (even the moron who inspired this rant!!)
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Wow. The online Master has stepped aside to make room for the real life Master to take control. I'm amazingly happy with Their choice. I was collared by my Master yesterday, 20 July 2005. I just have to pray to the Goddess (and work my ass off to make sure) that this will be my final, lifetime collar and Master.
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I think I finally found the guy I've been waiting all my life for. He's a Master in every sense of the word. We'll see what happens when we meet in person, but it looks like I'm moving to Wisconsin sometime in the next several months if things go like they appear they will. That also means that I am not allowed to play with others, but am allowed to chat and make friends.
I'm going to maintain the relationship with the online Master, but He will take more of a Mentor type roll in regards to the possible r/l One. He is still my Teacher, my Confidante, my Anchor. They both know about and accept the Other, so as far as I know now, things are good. Or at least, they will be very soon.
I can't wait!
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Ok, I'm taking a minute to rant. What is with all these profiles with no info on them? If you want someone to message you, give them something to work with. And what's with messages coming through with one word? "Hello" is not a message. Please, tell me what you are messaging me for, don't just leave me hanging! I'm a Leo, I am curious, that makes me nuts! Ok, I think I feel better now. |
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It's funny. I changed my profile to say I'd been released, and I get collared a few days later! I've been collared by my Teacher, my Confidante, my Master in more ways than just D/s. Finally... a real One! He's poly, so I'm allowed to play, He just has last say in who I play with. His property *must be* respected and taken care of, no matter what. Go figure....
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Well, I changed my profile a while back, but forgot that my journal said I was still collared. I have been released. It's a complicated story I'd rather not go into. I still don't play with Others right now, I'm still trying to heal. Some things take longer than others, I suppose....
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You know, I think it's funny as hades that I put in my profile that I am NOT allowed to play with men in any way, but I still got 2 messages from a man who said that he wants to chat. If he just wants to chat, then he should have put in that he understands that I will not do anything but chat, and that he respects that. If he wants more, then he should re-read my profile, studying the NOT closely in reference to play. I have a Master, and I'm happy in that relationship and do not want anything to happen to it. I will NOT play with men, in any way.... not online, not in person, and not on the phone. For those of you who respect that, thank you. For those who don't, look elsewhere, please. Have a great day..... Angi |
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| Age: 18 |
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Minnesota |
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