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| I find D/s, S&M, and B&D as facinating venues for development. I find no pleasure in physical pain but psychological abuse in the form of verbal and mental degradation is another matter. Just the thought of being mentally abused floods my body with an adrenaline rush that is more powerful than anything I have ever experienced. I don't understand it, I just know that the feelings are powerful and intense. It makes everything else seem dull.
I have listed myself as Transgenered which is a misnomer. The truth is, I am a male that has not been transformed into the female form. I am not passable. But, the other classifications were no better. I am male on the outside and female on the inside (hidden from the outside world). So no one classification seems to entirely work for me. I am not passable but I am seeking to be of service to a Dominate Male/Female or Couple who may be in need of my services.
While all things sexual have always held a facination, it has also been troublesome, particularily in the beginning. I was masterbating serveral times a day in pre-adultlesence. After PE, I had to deal with the embarrassment of letting the other boys see that I had a much smaller penis than most. Married a beautiful woman only to discover that I had issues with premature ejaculation. When I convinenced her to get into swinging, I found that my greatest pleasure was licking the other man's semen from her cunt while she described in detail how he pleasured her.
But, it was not until I knelled before another man (a complete stranger) and took his cock into my mouth, that I came alive. There was no pressure, anxiety, or feeling of frustration. I had arrived and it was an electrifying feeling when his sperm flood into my mouth so I could taste him and take his essence inside of me. That began a new journey.
While I definately benefit from being a male in a world which tends to unjustifiably give men advantages, I find being a male boring and uneventful. But, put me in lingerie to give pleasure and I come alive. I wear lingerie not in the pretext of being female but rather as a visual demonstration of my true nature - that of a whore, slut and slave. When dressed in this way, I feel vulnerable, helpless and submissive. I surrender my dignity, self-respect and manhood. I open myself up for humiliation and degradation as I expose my weakness and subservient nature. In a sense, I am stripped naked and the truth is revealed. Is it not true what they say - "that the truth will set you free". The humiliation of revealing my true nature over-rides the degradation of complete surrender and submission.
I am seeking development - a dominate M/F/C to push my limits so we can discover a multitude of ways where I can bring you pleasure. A mutually benefitual relationship that will serve us both well. I, to surrender mind, body and spirit in persuit of your pleasure. To be obedient, respectiful and subservient in recognition of your superiority. Yes, there will be limits, but these should only exist as temporary boundries that will eventually need to be broken (not forcefully but willingly) as a yet another evolution and demonstation of trust and absolute devotion.
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I am so looking forward to the journey. I am half way there. Still need the other half. The one that will guide me, declipine me, and lead me into sexual perversion and decadence? I can't do it alone and thus i plead and beg for your time, wisdom and decipline to mold me so I can serve you and the others you choose. I stand before you exposed, naked and raw. You have the ultimate power - the choice is yours
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