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Hetero Female Submissive, 28,  Misfit Toys Isle, Michigan
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I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things. Won't be long now before they tear us to shreds.
~*~ Owned by DetroitIrish, and extremely happy!!! ~*~ And here's your warning, HE READS AND RESPONDS TO MY MESSAGES HERE.. With that said, don't be surprised if HE responds to you if you're rude, overbearing, or just plainly can't READ, be prepared for some not-so-pleasant banter... Ok, so... Moving on....
(Profile subject to random updates, scrawling, general rants, and often very confusing. Don't panic. You've got your towel, right? No matter. I've brought a spare.)
I could talk myself up, stroke my ego, and boast about my marrows too... But that doesn't mean you're going to be any less disgusted with me for doing so. In that case, just get to know me. I'm not that scary. . . Most of the time, though the people in my neighborhood seem to be kind of weirded out by me for crawling under my car and punching the front bumper back out after that jackassalope hit my car while it was parked >_> I was angry, and needed to get somewhere!
*cough* Anyyyhow... My Yearly Update 2012, right.. Uhm. HAI! I'm alive.. Been seeing someone that I admire quite a lot, and my life is one big giant cluster-fuck :D Yea, that's about it.

I find myself right in the center of one big shit-storm, without any toilet paper >_< Someone, today, decided that smashing up my parked car would be a great idea, and then to not leave a note. Seriously? Ok, so now the tally is, NO HOT WATER, NO CAR, NO JOB, and NO more Ms Nice Girl.... ( Got a toilet, hot water and.... (wait for itttttt) A JOB!!! YAY! .. There's your update, now schoo! Ms Nice Girl is optional, with promotion code "gofkurself". ) NOW... I'm waiting for the landlord to fix the bloody heat!!! Ugh, fml. (12/2011)

Please stop sending me emails about how you would treat me if I were to be yours, I'm not. If you want me to be, I suggest getting to know me. =/

REMEMBER FOLKS: The most you'll learn about someone here is in the JOURNAL portion of their profile!!!

To assume is to make an ass out of u: not me.

I'm pretty particular in my ways, but in all honesty, I just want a relationship that I can grow with the other person. I want to learn the idiosyncrasies of the other, find out what makes you tick, push your buttons, fight for power, etc.

About me?

I'm a BBW, and if that's not your cup of tea, sod off. I don't believe in some "superior" look to a human being. We're all different shapes, weights, sizes, etc.. I have pictures, in fact, there's one or two FULL BODY pictures in the mix, so if you start talking to me thinking I'm some petite little thing you can just toss around, I hope to God you've got a lot of muscle! :-P

I'm 27, I am a college student, full time. I'm looking for work, again. I love music, I live for intellectual and often silly conversations. If something sparks my interest, I am VERY passionate about it. I'm witty, bratty, and fun to be around most of the time. I'm not really in the mood for orders to be barked at me the first time you message me, nor the second, or third.. In fact, get to know me as a person... Then we'll discuss the whole D/s thing.

The 9th picture is also on another's profile, that is because he is also in this picture! It was taken at a going away party for our tall but gorgeous friend, who we want to move back like .. yesterday! >_<
I'm the one on the far left, obviously. Yes, the dark hair, tattoo'd fat kid. That's me.

You will always know where you stand with me, because I will tell you what I think. I don't want to beat around the bush, I don't want to lead anyone on, and I expect the same respect.

I'm a smart ass. I'm strong willed, and I am very opinionated. Deal with it. This doesn't make me any less of a submissive, and those of you who know me, are well aware of this. Those of you who understand me, and where I am coming from, awesome. I may seem jaded, but really, the lifestyle is about consentual kink.

For the right person, I can be a very loyal, extremely subserviant being. I can be extremely respectful, and very willing to please. I will be a martyr for the right person..

If you're looking for someone to be your bitch, doormat, punching bag, etc, move the fuck on. Don't even BOTHER to send me a message. If you feel that you will "force me" to do something I'm not consenting to, chances are you will lose something very dear to you.. I don't play silly bullocks when it comes to my life. I'm not going to put myself in a potentially dangerous situation just because someone who claims to be a dominant says I have to.

I'm NOT looking for sex partners, a new Dom, or to be sized up by some brainless pratt, etc.

I vaguely remember being 18, thinking I knew what I wanted.. that I knew everything there was to know about life.. now, at nearly 28.. I know f***-all. I see these profiles of people in the 18-20 range, who seem to have the same attitude I used to, and I wish them the best.. With age, comes more bloody confusion.. At least for me.

Really, I am here because this is the group of people that raised me from that silly little 18 year old, to the now grown-up, yet still perpetually lost woman I am.. Welcome to reality.. Leave your logic at the door....................

I'm just here, mostly to talk to already established friends. I am busy in my vanilla life.


I'll add more to this later.. basically, I'm me. If you really want to know more, just ask.

*** I refuse to type up a profile without proper grammar and punctuation. If you see this as disrespectful, don't talk to me. I'd rather slaughter your self-image than the English language, anyhow.

***WARNING: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects - You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this or you may copy and paste this one.***











Last Online:


 Submissive Female

 Misfit Toys Isle 


 5' 4"

 260 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Friends Only

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Journal Entries:
7/4/2011 12:29:24 PM

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style
I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars
Actually, I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

All I know
Is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
I wish that we could see
If we could be something 

(Nicest Thing, KATE NASH)

 [ .. and yea, I *do* mean it, PK. ]

4/20/2011 4:16:24 PM

They call me Maelyce... 

 With my curls all twisted.. tangled... I swing above and scoot below.. I walk on eggshells around the Jabberwocky... With a pen-knife, and a smile of satisfaction- You are my vorpal sword. 

 This looking glass bears a strong resemblance to that of the mirror on my dresser in that flat I ran from, long ago.. All of the cracks make me reminisce about the streams and rivers in the woods I played at as a child.. 

 The Bandersnatch nears, and I crawl back under the twisted rubble of what used to be the wall in which the fat egg sat... 

 That Rabbit's dead when I find him... 

4/10/2011 10:07:47 PM

Swear to fxxing God, if one more person calls me fat, I'm seriously going to start stabbing ponies!  


Don't be a rude ass hat! How hard is it to keep your "thoughts" to yourself? Especially when you KNOW that it's going to hurt someone else's feelings! 


If you don't like fat kids, don't fxxing talk to me! I AM A FAT KID, and I will eat your soul, goddamnit! 

4/8/2011 5:17:44 PM



 I just read my journal entries from like a year ago.. Want the dramatic irony? John is dead. He died the last day I spoke to him, 3 months before I'd given up hope, and 6 months before anyone was able to get a hold of me to let me know that my Dom was dead. 


 Also, yea I'm single, what of it? *shrugs and walks away*


 .. Damn I was an angry girl back then! D: 

4/8/2011 5:05:12 PM

Tips for beginners on CMe (CollarMe): [Male-specific tips and tricks]

A, Don't mass-email, it flags you as spam.. Send a few out, log out for a bit, then send a few more later on.

B, When you find a girl, don't fall for the victim game. They do that for some reason here.. Also, if you happen across a profile that seems too good to be true, chances are, it is. We're all humans here, we have imperfections, airbrushing is a hoax.

C, You're gonna get messages from random gay guys- most of the time they're polite. If they're pushy, you can block them. 

D, Read, read, read. No matter what, don't send a message until you've read through at *least* the profile they've written.. Most times you can even tell if they're just surfing for sugar daddies, or suckers. That and, some subs that *are* taken but just here to chat to friends specifically ask that you not contact them before their Dominant. I know, seems weird, but hey.. whatever. It's a respect thing, I guess.. I respect their opinion to choose how they roll, but if some mofo was screening my e-mails, he'd die. LOL

E, Know that rejection will always come faster than positive reactions.. these people are scared.. They don't know what to expect either. They're here either to find someone, to play someone, or because they're still not okay with what they are, and that is normal on these sites.

F, You are never just a hat, you are a weeping sombrero. 

<3 Phaelyn

3/26/2010 8:32:06 PM
 jmh on 3/26/10 at 11:24 PM:
 can we chat

 abduktsynthetikz on 3/26/10 at 11:24 PM:

 jmh on 3/26/10 at 11:25 PM:

abduktsynthetikz on 3/26/10 at 11:25 PM:
 cos i dont wanna fkn chat?

 jmh on 3/26/10 at 11:26 PM:
 loose 100 lbs and i will fuck u

 abduktsynthetikz on 3/26/10 at 11:27 PM:
 lose the desperation and you might find a fucking girlfriend.

 jmh on 3/26/10 at 11:27 PM:
 i have a few

 abduktsynthetikz on 3/26/10 at 11:28 PM:

Your fingers dont count as girlfriends.

3/22/2010 3:46:34 PM

Day 13.... 

.. Still no word. Nothing. No letter, no e-mail, no phone call, nothing.

I've gone over every possible scenario in my head, and I cannot do anything about it...

I'm down to relying on friends' opinions about the situation, and i must say: i'm at the end of my little rope, and i am swinging back and forth about you.

i said i was patient, i said that i would wait- that i would try not to drive myself mad, but there is a fine line between being "discreet" about it, and cutting off all means of communication... 

 i feel ... unimportant.

3/17/2010 3:32:35 PM
There is only so much a girl can do before she goes completely stark-raving-mad.

 Orange juice- check.
 Day/NyQuil- check.
 Throat lozenges- check.

What am I missing???

.. I know what I'm missing. He knows what I'm missing, too.

Trials of early relationships can make or break a potentially good thing. We've known eachother for such a short and breif period of time, and now we must spend more time unable to get to know one another.

Will I hold out for this? Of course. I want to see where this goes. I want to see if we can do this. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, afterall. As well as the old "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing.. We can do this. It's just going to take a lot of patience and understanding on both of our parts.

3/15/2010 8:23:11 PM
People, do me a favor...

 The next time you're writing me a message, think. Think to yourself: "her profile says that she is in a relationship". This is truth.

Guess what this means?

It means that sending me a message on ANY platform telling me how much better you are in comparison to my Sir is just further proving the route of which your blood has chosen to migrate.

Do you know him? Do you know the chemistry between the two of us? Who the FUCK ARE YOU... to tell *me* who I should be with?

The last time I checked, I was legally able to make sound and rational decisions on my own. Your input is not appreciated, especially when you're taking such a biased approach.

Pompous ass-hattery. That's what that is. You think you're so much better than everyone else? Then tell me, why is it that you're still seeking out a relationship? Are you comfortable in your own skin? Or do you have to objectify someone else to make yourself feel better? If the answer to the last question was "yes", go delete your profile. You either ARE or WILL end up being one of those "dom-asses" that abuses a submissive's gift, damages them, and never settles down satisfactorily.

I swear to god, the next person to message me ANYWHERE that says that I can do better, or that they are better than my Sir, I will show exactly the same courtesy that they have shown me and my Sir by being so blatently disrespectful.

Only, I'm not going to warn you. I will simply report and block you from being able to contact me, without warning.

So, fuck off with all of your jackassery, and move the fuck on- this bitch is NOT interested in what you have to offer!

3/15/2010 4:00:54 PM
FROZEN OCEANS- Shiny Toy Guns (Lyrics)

I can't sleep
I've lost the urge to sing
No one's left a friend
The cost of ill pretend
Where'd you go?
I need you now
I said ooh-ooh

Ten thousand miles apart
A frozen ocean joins our hearts
I can't wait to meet you when
The frozen waves meet ocean floors
You'll be standing on the shore
I can't wait to meet you then

I still dream
But what should I believe
Frozen shapes to bend
Impossible sets in
Lost again
Still alone
I said ooh-ooh

Ten thousand miles apart
A frozen ocean joins our hearts
I can't wait to meet you when
The frozen waves meet ocean floors
You'll be standing on the shore
I can't wait to meet you then

I can't wait (x7)

The frozen waves meet ocean floors
You'll be standing on the shore
I can't wait to meet you then
Ten thousand miles apart
A frozen ocean joins our hearts
I can't wait to meet you when

3/12/2010 12:23:44 PM
Look I'm standing naked, before you.
Don't you want more than my sex?

I can scream as loud as your last one- but I can't claim innocence:

Oh, God.. Could it be the weather? Oh, God.. Why am I here?

If love isn't forever, and it's not the weather- Hand me my leather!

3/12/2010 1:29:46 AM

Everything's just wonderful.

.. And for once, it feels like it finally is.

I'm not scared of what the future holds anymore, I'm not afraid to put myself out there and smile back at the world- even if my smile may be a bit more deviant than most, and my eyes are inquisitive- everything is just wonderful.

It's been a few days since I spoke with leavelifebehind, but he had made mention that this week would be a bit time consuming. Sitting around chatting with me should not be on the top of his priority list. We have much bigger fish to fry right now.

While normally so much going on so early in a relationship would freak me out and I would turn tail and run the other way- I want to see this through.

I actually have dreams, again. There was a long period of depression, and sleeping hours upon hours just to make the time move faster. Lately I have wanted to be awake more, wanted to enjoy every moment of life that I have.. And most of all, cherish the few moments I do get to spend talking to him, and getting to know him better. :)

I can't wait until I speak with him again, but I am trying to be as patient as I can, because with the recent events, I know that there's more important things going on.. I can't help but want to be there to help morally support this person that I care so much about- and at the same time I feel that we're both working towards something bigger for the future.

It feels good. Life feels good. Pray for me, plaguerats. This may be the best thing that's ever happened for me, and I will make this the best experience that I can.


3/8/2010 5:26:22 PM
How many ass hats does it take to realise I'm not single?

... You should see my inbox 0_O

3/7/2010 11:41:13 AM

Cozy, He calls me... 

A poem: (kind of.)

"Squeezing the last few breaths out of empty lung cavities exposed to the light of day.. Smoke swirls, calling your name, pulling you in like a moth to a flame..

Your mind, a wasteland of thought too precious to feed.. The only thing crossing your mind is how much you miss the caress of warm cloth wrapped around your naked skin when hearing his voice calling you out of the dark...

Scratching nails along the ivory of keys that never quite hit the right note... Fragile little sounds come from the back of it like rats flee from a plague..

Your voice too damaged to hear yourself harmonize with the mis-tuned chords you try to bash out of a dead piano.. No addiction could make this sound pretty to anyone.. The tone deaf scream in horror at the monstrosity..

You want, you need, you'd do anything for new things, people to envy, intelligent conversation.. You'd do anything to hear his voice again.. To feel him form against you under satin sheets on a cold night..

The desire to scratch metal against flesh. Into flesh... A desire so strong, angels look down at you and scream.. Angel kisses maddening like port wine laced with mercury..

He screams your name, but you cant hear him beneath a veil of insanity so thick you could call it a wall.. A wall too high for anyone to climb.. A wall too strong, that you built to keep him out..

No matter how much the desire to have him near strikes you, you can't let him in, you cannot allow him to see.. You are not worthy of this.. You are nothing in comparison to his beauty..

You spill over the sides of a porcelain bath, running in between the grout on a tile floor that no longer looks like tile.. An image in your mind, his face.. his beautiful face.. it taunts you like classmates throwing rocks.

Submerged under a clear liquid.. hands holding you down that are not your own.. The angels are trying to kill you.. the angels want you to stop...

.. The angels aren't anyone you'd want to pray to.. They hold you away from him, screaming, bleeding, dying slowly.. You beg for them to stop.. You beg to be let go..

Sounds swirl around you.. the beeping and ticking of machines. Your eyes open up to a white face looking down with shock, and horror.. This girl should not have survived that amount of death.. The room swirls around you, and the last thing you hear before you pass out is him... screaming..

You know he is near, you know he wants to see you..

" .. not like this, God ... not like this ... "

If only you could disappear.. This is what you were trying to hide from him, and failed..

Strangers are forcing you to live, and the angels pull harder, your limbs feel as though they could fall off, and you could care less.. Just one more moment of happiness with him.. one more overwhelming moment of his kisses, his love, exploding into the air like rockets.. one more moment with him.. loving you... "

Copyright © 2005 AdraRoseMortem/z0mbi3d0ll/ρнαєℓуη

3/5/2010 9:42:29 AM
They call me Maelyce... Success in escaping the Jabberwocky, and I've continued to follow the rabbit. I smile to myself, thinking how glad I am that I didn't skin him alive. The sun grins down at me like a Raisin Bran commercial, and I basque in the glory that everything is in it's right place. At the end of the trail a handsome man, holding the heart I'd ripped out of my chest years ago.

3/3/2010 10:26:22 PM
Some of you may be wondering why I have deleted my "friendship" status with you. To be fair, we never talk. What is the point of advertizing a friendhip that will never exist?

If you're still listed as a friend on here, I've known you fro QUITE some years now, or I hold you very dear to me.

 Wolf, hush. I know you're thinking of some smart arsed remark right now.


3/2/2010 11:13:58 PM
I'm going to post his once, and only once.


*cough* That is all.

3/2/2010 5:42:20 PM

I want to take singular moments of my life and tie them up with a nice red bow, and store them away in a little box under my bed.

Memories.. Most of mine are not that good, which is why I am writing this. I'm sort of "immortalizing the moment", if you will.

I've spent years of my life struggling to get by, dating the wrong people, making vain attempts to live up to my family's expectations of me. I have been overly subservient to the wrong people. While I should have been focusing on my needs and wants, I was focusing on what they expected from me, and trying to reach an impossible goal. I can't make my family appreciate what I do, I can't be exactly what they want me to be.. I can only be me.

 With that said, I do feel that I can be something that someone can be proud of, I just need the confidence to be able to look in the mirror- and not instantly tear myself apart. I’m learning this. I actually feel like I am worth a damn, now. It isn’t so much that anyone has told me that I am, either. His actions spoke louder than his words!

 I have to say that I really am hoping that this all works out with my "potential future relationship". Things seem to be coming together quite nicely. He asks me if I could be any more perfect of a match for him and all I can say is "I can try."

 He's not the type that wants to strip me of my own "character" and turn me into a zombie-slave. No no.. Thank god(s). He seems to actually appreciate my flair, my modesty, my shyness, and my innate ability to be "cutesy".

 I want the world to bring back that same modesty, and 1950's style mindset to "family life" and "modern living" that we seemed to have left behind. There's so much disrespect in the world, and so little positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior. I only bring this up because he seems to have the same idealism that I hold, as well as being a perfect middle ground of both modern and antiqued culture.

Pray for me, if you want to. I think this may be "it".

 .. and it's always amusing to me that I was not even looking for anything, not even trying to concentrate on this aspect of my life, and yet.. here I am.


3/1/2010 11:53:37 PM
March 2010:

 I've met someone that piques my interest. He keeps me thinking, keeps me on my toes, and this is just in casual conversation!

I like this direction!


2/22/2010 4:48:33 PM

February 2010:

It isn't me, it's you. All of you. All of the people that have ever made me feel less than beautiful, all of you jerks out there that think that I should automatically bow down, withstand the abuse, and be belittled for your amusement.. Anyone whom has spoken with me for any length of time will know me, and if you still expect me to strip down, stand up, and show my naked body off to you- why? Oh, you claim you're a Dom? Guess what.. I still won't do that, because I have standards. I have self-worth. I'm not a cheap thrill. I'm not a floor mat, I'm a submissive. I'm beautiful, and I deserve to be treated as something that you treasure, not something you can take your frustrations out on and be made to feel worthless.

I've got one thing to say to those of you whom think such behavior is appropriate.. Fuck you.

2/18/2010 7:27:27 AM
For the record:
 Corporate america can suck my left tit. I'm sick of jobs that only want to hire someone for a few weeks and then let them go right before they have to pay insurance and benefits for them ..

 Back to the drawing board.

2/16/2010 3:24:11 PM

Please fix your typonese. It hurts my head.

" lokkin for a male dominant man...i wants to be a good slave and obident to my master ..... " is not proper English. This is forgivable if English is not your first language, however- you should proof read anything before you post it. In the event that English is not your first language, please refer to babelfish translator on yahoo. This will ensure that you spell words correctly, such as "obident".....

2/7/2010 5:25:36 PM
I *sincerely* wish to know how it is in a day and age that we are so technologically advanced that we have machines do nearly everything including calling people at home, how it is that people still cannot post a picture without it being horribly pixelated and fuzzy?
One or two pics like that because they are an old favorite of yours, fine.. but ALL of them !?

 What the fuck people!? Update your technology!!

2/7/2010 11:56:22 AM
Really, there's not enough coffee in the world.
Also.. i demand there be some sort of stupidity-filter on this website..

2/7/2010 11:48:09 AM
No, really. The next dumb-fuck non-local asshat to send me an "add to circle" request... gets reported as fucking spam.

No message to me, no conversation, nothing? JUst "Hey add me to ur circle cos boy u sure do got a perdy mouf!" .... *facedesk*

I swear to fuck i'ma end up stabbing me some dinner, tonight.

2/7/2010 11:45:50 AM

 If you live in the middle of bumfucking Guam, or any other country, NO. I WILL NOT TRAVEL TO MEET YOU.

 Get over it, stop crying about it, try going out and finding someone local to play with. I'm not interested in dropping my life, making vacation plans, etc., just to meet you. Chances are, you're scary, a rapist, a criminal, or just straight up not  compatible with me.

 DO NOT ADD ME TO YOUR CIRCLE. I'm not your friend. I don't even care to become your friend, because in all honesty, i just dont have time for the bullshit.

I don't *do* long distance. If you're not within the same state or general area that I am, and I have to drive more than 2 hours to visit you, let's end this now, cos in all honesty, i barely have enough time for ME, let alone YOU between working full time and being a full time student. I dont want the vast majority of my time visiting you to be in commute hours.

.. and yes, i'm angry. You can all blame Mr AssHatOfTheDay on that one.

2/7/2010 10:27:00 AM
Yet another example in Jackassery:
(Mind you, everytime this jackass messages me, he gets all pussy hurt that i'm not answering him within five seconds.)

Don Ghotti: you never happy, what is wrong?
Don Ghotti: young lady?
[☆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ☆ღ✗☆ρнαєℓуη☆✗ღ☠]奴隸☆: i'm on the phone with my mom and doing homework, be patient, or be ignored
Don Ghotti: well, I am not really interested in you or attracted, so don't get twisted
Don Ghotti: you are fat and ugly for my liking
[☆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ☆ღ✗☆ρнαєℓуη☆✗ღ☠]奴隸☆: well then you're a fucking faggot
Don Ghotti: if that makes me, the be it
[☆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ☆ღ✗☆ρнαєℓуη☆✗ღ☠]奴隸☆: and lack the patience and common decency of most people.
Don Ghotti: I would not touch such a fat pig like you
Don Ghotti: too fat and ugly=pig
Don Ghotti: I want a human being
Don Ghotti: you wonder why they just use you as a sex slave hu
[☆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ☆ღ✗☆ρнαєℓуη☆✗ღ☠]奴隸☆: Are you quite finished being a complete asshat, or do I need to continue to listen to your mindless drivelling about my physical appearance and your inability to see clearly?
[☆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ☆ღ✗☆ρнαєℓуη☆✗ღ☠]奴隸☆: And to better inform you, i am not a "sex slave", i am a submissive. I don't get used, abused, or any of that bullshit, i am treated with the highest respect by my dominant. Kindly remove yourself from my life. You are nothing but a sore loser because I would not give you the fucking time of day.
dn_ghotti (2/7/2010 1:23:28 PM): you never happy, you always angry, and miserable
dn_ghotti (2/7/2010 1:23:45 PM): and I know for a fact that your ex dumped you
dn_ghotti (2/7/2010 1:23:50 PM): you aint got no dom
dn_ghotti (2/7/2010 1:23:52 PM): you wish
[☆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ☆ღ✗☆ρнαєℓуη☆✗ღ☠]奴隸☆ (2/7/2010 1:23:56 PM): Perhaps I am this way because of ass hats like yourself? Keep calling me names, keep treating me like shit, see where it gets you.
dn_ghotti (2/7/2010 1:24:16 PM): you are already like that
[☆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ☆ღ✗☆ρнαєℓуη☆✗ღ☠]奴隸☆ (2/7/2010 1:24:21 PM): My ex and i split, correct, that does not mean that in the last 3 months i did not find another.
dn_ghotti (2/7/2010 1:24:27 PM): I don't need to call you are treated you like that
[☆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ☆ღ✗☆ρнαєℓуη☆✗ღ☠]奴隸☆ (2/7/2010 1:24:31 PM): Good bye, asshole. You are now blocked.

11/24/2009 7:22:42 PM

Just one more drink
And then go to bed.
You stared at your glass
As I emptied my head.
I said that I'm sorry
You said that's a shame.
I'll blame those boys
With those sweet christian names..
I'm planning for closure
With guilt and remorse
You long for moments
When love was a source..
And if you're not happy
Why do you stay..
Treacherous answers part lips and you'd say...

"oh, this never felt like home"
And you said: "oh, you never left me alone"
And I said: "oh, I would've started to drown"
This record broke on its own...

Surrender or nothing,
I'm giving my best.
By ripping what's left,
From your half empty chest..
Tonight I'll be honest,
Tonight you'll be brave..
It's all that I wanted,
It's all that you crave..
You're watching my face,
My tears are a strain
You're heart makes a fist,
And it's bruising my brain..
And if I'm so happy...
..why do I say all these things that linger, rot, and decay..

And you said: "oh, Christ hang up the phone.."
And you said: "oh, I guess I've always known"
But I said: "oh, never leave me alone"
Oh-oh-oh ...this record broke on its own...

...this record breaks on its own......

11/24/2009 7:04:28 PM
Fuck, he dumped me.

... and oh goddamnit, this time it actually fucking hurts! >_< WTF!

Don't just go openning my eyes and waking my brain up just to drop me face first on the fucking floor while i'm in the middle of admiring you and trying AS HARD AS I CAN to make you happy!!! T____________T

10/5/2009 11:21:27 PM
Exploring avenues with a certain someone from this site, and REALLY excited to be given the opportunity to get to know them!!!

Sorry boys, this girl is off the market!


9/30/2009 7:30:27 PM
Seriously, people... get to know me before you try adding me to your damned circle.


3/9/2009 11:39:45 PM
As of recent, I've realised that I'm not submissive, in fact, I'm quite the opposite..

Don't get me wrong, I truely enjoyed being a submissive, and I am sure that with a strong enough Dominant, I would be more than resectful towards Them.. but I do not see Myself as being subservient to Anyone.

I know Myself better than anyone else does, and for the most part, the Doms that I'd encountered were not in-tune with Me in the least. In fact, most wouldn't even put effort into building up a relationship.. They wanted instant gratification, in all aspects. (There are always exceptions to any rule, those of You whom I speak to that are *true Doms* know that I do not speak about You in this manner.)
With that said, I'm seeking someone that I can be in-tune with, but this is a long, slow, gradual process... These things don't just happen over night, and I have been known to laugh in the faces of those W/whom thought that it could. On the same note, without *open communication* there's really no way to get to know one-another. I had constantly been told that I was to remain silent, made to feel that I couldn't speak My mind... I do not like the idea of this, for *anyone*.

E/everyone should be able to express themselves, and this lifestyle is a consentual-kink, not a democracy.

I'm not a sadist, I have a little bit of a sadistic streak, but I'm not really *all* about causing/inflicting pain to others. I am caring, I am loving, I want to be able to grow with My partner, not alienate them into submitting to Me.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that.. I want someone with a mind of thier own, views of their own, someone who is able to express who they are, and be respectful. Someone that can take care of themselves if I am not around, I will not carry anyone on my back through this walk W/we call life.. That's not My job.I want someone who knows what they want out of life, and the lifestyle, and yet have the ability to seperate the lifestyle from work, or public/family gatherings. There is a time and a place... and a lot of society does not accept O/our kind as "sane", or intelligent.

W/we are the outcasts, the blacksheep.. W/we can be proud of this, because W/we know ourselves better than the mundanes do, but W/we all need to remain humble, and not impose O/our preferences on others.

This lifestyle is a continuing-education opportunity. A/anyone W/who thinks otherwise is a bloody tool.

/end rant.

2/6/2009 11:58:55 PM
It appears all of my fun has ended with the cyber-assailant... Now i'm all sad in the pants! =(

 i was having SO much fun!!!!!

Anyhow.. This week was chok-full of exams at uni, more stress than i honestly needed... and i need to try to rest, but havent been able to do so.. i havent recieved my marks for the last series of exams, so i'm all sorts of stressed out.

Other than that, things seem to be going brilliantly. Been keeping up a fairly routine day-to-day schedule, so i am pleased.

Well, there's Y/your update.. now scoot.
have a nice weekend, A/all!

1/31/2009 1:42:30 PM
Rude girl's most recent "response" :

Don't try a guilt trip on my lard azz.  Everyone knows how sexy I am, but you should not even be on this site with fat rolls and actually having the audacity to write someone as sexy as me.  Who the hell do you think you are.  I am WAYYYY out of your league cottage cheese ass!!!

( Seriously, i about died laughing!! ) 
-my- response:

The beautiful part about this entire "conversation", is that you think either a- i'm going to be hurt by your blatently rude remarks, or b- that i would want to be "with you"...

i have to admit, i'm laughing at you right now. your attempt to make me feel horrible about myself has done nothing but prove that you are nothing more than an insecure person trying to make themselves feel better by putting someone else down.

And sweetie, you're certainly nothing to "brag" about. The mere fact that i welcome you into the lifestyle and your response to this is slander against my weight shows me that you'll never really amount to anything more than a stuck up little ballerina stuck on daddy's wallet, which i'm sure you are, with the attitude you've shown me.

Clearly you've never been humbled by a reality check. Hopefully you will, soon. i sincerely hope that someday you are treated the way that you've chosen to treat others. Karma is, indeed, a cold calloused cunt.

With that, please do not ever contact me again. you aren't worth the effort in trying to reason with.
 (In other words, Fuck Off.)

~ abduktsynthetikz

1/30/2009 10:36:03 PM

As an example of someone being a complete ass about my weight issue:

My message:
 welcome to the lifestyle, hon! ^_^ beware the creepies! xD (Seriously, there's tons of them on here.) ^_^

Their message:
Ya and you're one of can you let your body get up to 252lbs by the age of 25???  You literally would have to lay on the couch all days eating chips, drinking pop, and not working to get that out of shape!!!

My response to their blatent stupidity:
Thanks for the wonderfully rude message, you want to know the honest to god truth? I weighed about 140lbs 3 years ago, and then i became very ill.. to the point where my body stopped process food the way it was supposed to, and my organs were shutting down. I excersize every day. I eat small portions, and i eat mostly vegetables, very little red meat.. i tend to stay away from greasy foods, and i do what i can to try and lose weight.
 i would not wish such an illness on anyone that can make one go from 140lbs to 252lbs.. It hurts, in places i couldnt have imagined hurting before, physically, and mentally.

 And i must say, that your attitude, is complete shit. Good luck in finding anything remotely close to true happiness. Being a superficial snob will get you no where.

Thank you for the amuzement. People like you make life that little bit more interesting than it already was! Your blatent stupidity and lack of compassion was the highlight of my evening! xD

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