I'M GOING TO JEFF DUNHAM TONIGHT in Moline!!!!  It was my Valentine's present from Mistress Mystic.  We're leaving in 20 minutes.  I can't wait!!!!


May be a day or two before I can catch up on letters

Mistress Lily

What is the submissive’s reward?  Well, initially it is that my submissive gets to make me happy.  Now before you go ballistic, I have been a slave.  I serve my Mistress and have for 4 years.  I serve her because I love to see her smile, because there is an aspect of me that is thrilled when she is happy with me or proud of me.  I find emotional satisfaction in serving her.  So yes, I know what I am saying.  So first and foremost, I want my slave/submissive to find an emotional pleasure in serving me.  Secondly, when I am pleased with a slave I am more inclined to want to do things that my slave enjoys submitting to.  But again, remember that our kinks should match up.  If I like floggers and you hate them, but you love feet, again we aren’t a good match.  And you can’t nag, beg, or passive aggressive me into liking it.  In fact, you’ll probably turn me further away from it. 

Do you think that it’s easy for me to spend two hours in a scene with you?  Before I can even play with you I need to get to know you.  I need to meet you to be sure there is a physical connection and make sure you’re not a serial killer.  I need to learn your limits, any bad experiences from your past, I need to figure out your psyche, your experience level and your fantasy vs reality coping abilities.  Then I have to teach you my rules and what pleases me.  Is it any wonder a Mistress gets pissed when a submissive expects to meet you for the first time and pop right into a three hour scene?  Do you know how long it takes a therapist to get to know their patient?  But I am expected to figure all these things out within a week of meeting you?!  Do submissives have any clue what it takes to prep for a play session?  You kneel their on your knees, excited and impatient while I lay out all my equipment, struggle into my strap on.  Usually I’m the one providing the play space, the toys, the drinks, and the effort.  I have to dress in a way that is sexually exciting to you and to me, so I better have the right “domme” outfit – heaven forbid I answer the door to you in jeans and a t-shirt!  No – I can’t be dominant unless I’m wearing the most uncomfortable teddy I can buy – because you won’t buy anything for me . . . that would be too much like paying for BDSM. 

Now, I’m not actually pissed off about doing any of this.  I LOVE the slow build of power as I prep for a scene, watching my nervous, twitchy, hard and excited slave as the tension builds.  I love the feel of my leather whip in my hand, the weight of my attachable dick on my pelvis, the shudder that goes through my submissive as I touch his shoulder, softly, and tap him menacingly with the edge of my crop.  But, it is physically and emotionally demanding to flog, abuse, degrade, and use a submissive until he or she is floating in that perfect place.  A dominant’s space is different, it’s mental, it’s a power trip that thrills me to my toes, it is rewarding, but demanding.    

But for every cane mark you take, for every floor you scrub, for every humiliation I heap upon your willing head, that is the reward; those moments when I show you what a good slave you are by taking the time to use you until you are a puddle of goo floating in that space makes it all worthwhile. 

Quick Clarification.  I have no problem with straight boys.  I specify bisexual because I share my life and my toys with my transvestite Mistress.  So if you're straight but are more concerned with being a good slave than where your dick gets put, then I encourage you to write!

PART ONE, Response to those that my journals have pissed off.  (and if you're thinking about serving me you might want to read this)

I’ve gotten some serious letters from some very pissed off people since I made my original journal entries today.  I want to try to address this further.  Apparently, a lot of people are taking offense when I suggest that presenting me a laundry list of things a submissive expects me to do to them in order for them to “please me.” I want to start with some basic definitions for those that may have forgotten their BDSM basics.

THE DEFINITION OF POWER EXCHANGE, one of the fundamentals of BDSM:  “In BDSM, the term power exchange refers to a relationship or activity in which the submissive partner exchanges his or her authority to make decisions for the dominant partner's agreement to take responsibility for the submissive's happiness and health.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_exchange_(BDSM)

THE DEFINITION OF DOMINANT:  Dominant is the label used to describe a partner who takes the active or controlling role within a BDSM relationship context.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominant_(BDSM)#Dominant

THE DEFINTION OF SUBMISSIVE: Submissive is the label used to describe a partner who takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role within a BDSM relationship context.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bottom_(BDSM)

So, for all of those who are either inexperienced or don’t remember their basics.  The way a relationship goes between a submissive/slave and his Mistress is, the submissive submits, and the Mistress dominates.  Depending on the type of relationship various limits are set, things that a submissive will not do, but ultimately the play time and things done within the relationship are, by the nature of this lifestyle, up to the Dominant’s pleasure.  I’ve asked people over and over again why they submit and I’m always told, because it makes me happy to please my owner/Mistress/Top/Domme.  Yet some people who tell me that still present me with this huge list of what they demand that I do to them.  I used to do that – women who do that for a living are called Professional Dominatrixes.  I retired from that a long time ago because it’s not really Domination, its fantasy realization.  And it doesn’t interest me.

I am a Dominant Female.  If I wanted to be told what to do by a man I’d have a boyfriend, or a Master.  That is why I am seeking a submissive.  Because I want to make the decisions, I want to decide whether I feel like CBT or a strap on tonight.  Because that is my perogative.   

End part one.  Tune in for part two.

Mistress Lily

          FETISHISTS PLEASE READ

First of all I HATE MY FEET.  I'm still a bit of a country girl - I walk barefoot everywhere.  I know where my feet have been so foot worship *shudder* not for me.  I don't like them sucked, licked or fucked with except to be massaged when they hurt or having the nails painted, so if you're into feet, you're going to have to look elsewhere.

FOR OTHER FETISHISTS

 I am pleased that you have discovered that you love feet, crossdressing, whatever.  Please let me make this very clear.  I am not here to serve your fetish.  I am here because I am a Mistress seeking a slave.  This means you are here to serve MY fetishes.  I believe in building relationships so of course at some point as a reward I will use your fetishes in play, but understand that TPE slavery is not about the slave, it is about pleasing the Mistress.  This is BDSM. The very definition of which means that the submissive serves the dominant's pleasure.  If you want to be the one in control, go pay for it.

"FORCED" Fetishists: I will not FORCE anything on anyone.  If you do it for me, you'll do it willingly and with a smile because it makes me happy.  I don't do force.  PERIOD. 

CD and TRANS: ok, if you've suddenly discovered a love for dressing like a woman, don't expect me to finance it.  And if you are a 250 gorilla of a man, lets get real - you are not going to come out looking like a woman.  I am only ONLY ONLY interested in CD and Trans that take the time to do the work for themselves and actually look female.  Sorry if this bursts your bubble, but it's just the way I am.

Mistress Lily

        WHAT I WANT

Look, what I want isn't THAT complicated.  I want:
 1.  a boy with a dick.  That's the first qualification.  I have a transvestite Mistress.  I don't need a CD or a trans right now.  I need a boy with a dick that knows how to use it.
2.   a submissive person this one should be self explanatory. 
3.   Someone who wants to serve because they derive joy from pleasing their owner.  Ok, isn't this one pretty much the basis of BDSM?  I want someone who wants to rock my world, who wants to be on his knees at my feet because he WANTS to serve me because he NEEDS to serve me.  Because its that makes him happy.
4.  PHOTOS  ok, yea, I know, its shallow.  But look, I'm looking for someone I WANT to fuck, want to beat, want to do S&M and kinky stuff with.  If I'm not attracted to you on a physical level, we are both wasting our time.
5.  A SMART slave - if you can't stroke my mind, if you can't hold a conversation, I will get bored very quickly.  I am smart, educated, and I like to debate.  I hate ignorance, and I can't stand an ass kisser. 
So these are my top few pet peeves. 

Mistress Lily

ALONE IN A CROWD

No one knows me.

Everyone knows my name.

They recognize my smile.

I listen.

I laugh.

Everyone knows my name.

But no one knows me.

Eclipse

Pendulous in darkness

Suffering in twilight

Alone amid the stars

Is anyone out there?

Does anyone feel me?

I am alone.

copywrite protected
2009

STRAIGHT GUYS:  IF YOU WRITE ME I WILL ASSUME YOU HAVE READ MY PROFILE ENTIRELY.  I am going to re-state and repeat myself one last time.  In as few, short words as I can make you understand.  If you are writing me and you are straight, you will be assumed to be saying that you accept that you will serve me bisexually, that you will serve my Mistress with the same adoration you are pledging to serve me.  Whoa, now you're eyes are open.  See what happens when you don't read a profile.

I'm tired of being nice about this.  THE FIRST LINE of my profile says I am a member of houseofthemystic.  Do a smart thing LOOK IT UP. 

AGAIN< IF YOU ARE STRAIGHT AND WRITE ME I am automatically going to assume that you are ok with sticking your cock in Mistress Mystic whenever I demand it.  (Or being whipped or used or whatever)

The Bitch Mistress

I have many memories that seem to be the reverse of those. I remember always playing the teacher in every game of school, the mommy in every game of house, the cop in every game of cops and robbers.  The warm feeling in the pit of my stomach when I put those plastic cuffs on my "bad guy" or bent my best friend over my knees because "baby was bad"

I also remember other games, darker games played with the "bully" boy from school.  We hated each other in public.  In private our wrestling took on a new turn, in which I let him pin me, pull my hair; I fought, sometimes violently, but always ended up underneath him, hurting, aroused, and wondering what was wrong with me.  

I ended up in a bad way, my experimentation ended up in rape by a man I trusted.  By 17 I was a man hating/fearing lesbian. 

It wasn't until I was 18 and in college, that I found access to the internet and discovered there was a name for what I was.  I found that I identified with Dominant mostly, sometimes switch. Sado-masochist. I started as most of the young did in the '90s when there were no kink dating sites, on java chats and BBS systems, trying to figure out who I was.

I met the most fantastic girl that first semester, in 1994. She was an exchange student who became my lover.  Little did I know she was an owned slave, serving in a huge Victorian sprawl outside of the small little college town.  Serving my Shakespear professor with 3 other girls.  Everything I said or did went back to him.  Within a few months we were "introduced" and I was thrown face to face with my demons, my fears, and the reality of what I was. 

And oh I fought it.  Until one day, it clicked.  I relaxed into my place under Master D and quickly climbed the ladder from angry, man hating woman fighting her inner pervert to Lead Girl in a poly, BDSM household.  Master D recognized the Domme in me struggling to break free.  I spent 6 months learning about how it feels to be a slave.  Then under his mentorship combined with the most amazing, talented Gorean Master I have ever met, Master Black, I began to learn how to master my own dominant nature, how to climb into the mind of a slave, to play it's body with my skills.  For my 19th birthday I was presented with my first male slave, a boy from AU who was my world for a long time.  (R.I.P. Eddie 1996)

After 13 years of experience I found the beginning of my dream.  I am a now part of a poly, BDSM household.  I am owned by Mistress Mystic and am in charge of her household.  

Some people ask me why I don't coin myself as a switch.  The label doesn't feel right to me.  Yes, I submit to Mystic.  I am part masochist and I need the reins of pain and pleasure to be happy. I am not a "natural" submissive. Every bend of the knee is difficult for me, comes with great struggle.  I submit to her because I love her, because I trust her, because there is a part of me that needs what she gives me.

But I am first and foremost happy when I am leading someone.  When someone sits at my feet and knows that THAT is where they belong. Right now I am a Mistress with no charge, with no submissive to sit at my feet, to wind around my ankles with the joy of serving me.  This brings me a small sadness sometimes, and I sit in my chair and close my eyes and feel it's presence there, that unseen submissive that needs to spend it's life at my feet as badly as I need it to be there.

I hope to find it someday.  Until then, I make friends, serve Mystic, and wait for my "bad boy or girl".  Everytime I see those silly plastic handcuffs in the store, I smile.  Part of me is sad. But part of me rejoices, for I know it will be with me soon.

It is a long road that some must travel to discover who they are and become comfortable with it.   I have been traveling that path, that quest of self discovery for some time, nearly 13 years now.  I have been Mistress, slave, mother, friend, and more.  In my quest to know myself I have drowned in self-recrimination, I have nearly died on the physical plane and I have loved and hated, rejoyced and grieved. I have struggled with roles and identities and labels for most of my adult life.  I have been the round peg crammed into the square hole of other people's definitions and labels for long enough!  I am who I am, I am what I am, and I am at last at peace with myself.  I hereby reject any label others attempt to place on me.  If you are seeking a Lady who is limited by labels like switch, slave, dom, sub . . . you will not find her here.  

Within me exists the Tigress of my soul, that side of me that is forever a wild feline.  I can be gentled, but never tamed.  I must take the claws and teeth of my wild side and scratch out the bloody marks of my sadistic nature on willing prey.  And so I seek.  I seek my own prey, a willing victim to my sadism.  A beautiful submissive creature to sit at my feet, to do my bidding, a slave, a toy, a victim of my own bloody flower.  Every vampire needs a victim, and I seek mine. 

all poetry copywrited LPendragon
2008

I receive alot of mail asking me if I'm looking only for a live in slave. 

I am happy to accept a play partner (or two) but because of how much of a pervert I am, I do so enjoy sharing my boys.  That's why I indicate that bisexual boys are my preference. 

If you are local to me and after reading my profile and journals you think you can offer me what I'm seeking, don't hesitate to write. 

I am not currently interested in transgender. 

Miss Lily

I am in love with the evolution that my soul is experiencing, degree by degree.  I am enjoying the journey that takes me deeper and deeper into the Dominant and sadist that I am. 

I am seeking a slave.

That says so much and yet so little.

 I am seeking a highly intelligent, hard working submissive person for my household. Your only purpose will be to serve my pleasure, whatever that pleasure is. Your only goal is to please me and obey.   I am seeking a pet, a slave, a toy. Something to use and abuse, something to serve me, in every manner that I wish. To share with anyone I choose. I have no interest in chastity, I am a sexual woman that enters long periods of heat and I need a toy I can use. Male, female, or transgender – I am not as interested in the appendage as I am in the soul.

My slaves have no rights once they accept service within the walls of my domain. They have no choice in their service or sexuality as once service is given, so is free will. With the snick of my collar locking around your neck, you are owned.

It is a long road that some must travel to discover who they are and become comfortable with it.   I have been traveling that path, that quest of self discovery for some time, nearly 13 years now.  I have been Mistress, slave, mother, friend, and more.  In my quest to know myself I have drowned in self-recrimination, I have nearly died on the physical plane and I have loved and hated, rejoyced and grieved. I have struggled with roles and identities and labels for most of my adult life.  I have been the round peg crammed into the square hole of other peoples definitions and labels for long enough!  I am who I am, I am what I am, and I am at last, starting to be at peace with myself.  I hereby reject any label others attempt to place on me.  If you are seeking a Lady who is limited by labels like switch, slave, dom, sub . . . you will not find her here.

Within me exists the Tigress of my soul, that side of me that is forever a wild feline.  I can be gentled, but never tamed.  I must take the claws and teeth of my wild side and scratch out the bloody marks of my sadistic nature on willing prey. 

And so I seek.  I seek my own prey, a willing victim to my sadism.  A lesser creature to sit at my feet, to do my bidding, a pet, a toy, a victim of my own bloody flower.  Every vampire needs a victim, and I seek mine. 

Miss Lily

I'm so fed up with this tiny little apartment! I know I own too much and I just cant get everything set up so that I don't feel like the stuff I own is creeping away from the walls to swallow me! 

I need a good local submissive, one with muscle and skills that will allow him to hang shelves, move furniture and put some elbow grease into an end of the season cleaning.  A boy with good spatial awareness to help me figure out how to rearrange the apt and all the junk within to make everything fit well. 

This submissive, under 40, attractive and pleasant may also have the honor of being my companion, my pet,and my playtoy, escorting me around town and generally fulfilling the role of an owned pet with the exception that she or he goes home.  Two days a week minimum service.  Period. 

Miss Lily

I AM POLY AND I AM OWNED.

This profile is my private profile.  My joint couple's profile with my Owner is under the profile name HouseoftheMystic. 

There is a difference between living a lifestyle and a fantasy.  We are not going  to be wrapped up in your labels.  We have a family that includes Ums.  We are a family that is poly.  We are a family that has chosen not to have a traditional marriage.  If you are not interested in being part of reality, if your obsession with your perfect fantasy of slavery has no room for real life, for realities like work and groceries and electric bills and oil changes and watching tv and other mundane things that happen in real life, then we have no room for you.