XtremeSevertysub

Once again this boi has stepped out of bounds with his insolence... I could post his recent messages to others that would show his disrespect but instead I will leave this here for him to find. The little cunt has shown a blatant disregard for the energy I have spent on him as well as a serious lack of appreciation.

I am NOT happy. 

Miztress 

Something has hit home today, something i've been thinking for a while, and now realize that it is necessary. 

For almost a year of being "Under Consideration" from afar, i have been hoping and waiting for Dominants to message me or Miztress with an interest in using and abusing me. There have only been a few, and none of them have come to be. 

i know now that it is up to me to make the first contact, and humbly and pathetically beg to be used and abused, both on behalf of Miztress, as well as to fulfill the desires of those wishing to use and abuse me. Still, You should contact me if You wish.

i think that most often there is a reluctance to get involved with someone else's slave or property. However, if You are honest and sincere, there is no reason why such arrangements wouldn't work.

Miztress is displeased with boi. 

"Community outreach" does NOT mean publicly trashing someone you don't know, who, as was explained, was following protocol. "Community outreach" IS more than a one word message, with intent explained. FemDom networking does NOT include messaging another Domme's slave. There is a disturbing lack of respect for other Dommes' owning their property. An apology stating that no disrepect was meant is interpreted as "meanspirited", and then the slave is publicly trashed, in more than one place. Who is meanspirited? How "professional" is that from an organization? Details are available outside CM.

To thankfully quote Miztress from another site: "Ugh... enough is enough. Please, hire an editor if you cannot write cohesively!"  You know who you are (not the European to whom English is a second language - that has been explained to Miztress).

my latest punishment:

On Wednesday, 4/7/10, i was ordered by Miztress to quit smoking as of the next day. i failed. When W/we chatted Thursday evening, She asked how i was and i confessed. i cannot lie to Her. i tried to explain without making excuses (is that really possible?), that i let lack of sleep, nicotine withdrawal,and job stress combined get the better of me, but i know that excuses for failure are unacceptable. First, She said She was disappointed, then She became more furious the more She thought about it.

i was ordered to immediately withdraw all my money from checking and Western Union wire transfer it to Her, so that She would control it, and not leave me sufficient funds to buy cigarettes. Further frustrating Her were my futile attempts to justify keeping enough cash to pay bills that evening. i now agree with Her that i was insolent, but i did as ordered. i was told that a "shitstorm" of my info being plastered all over the internet would be the result of further disobedience.

i rushed to beat a deadline. i was instructed to tell the girl at the counter that i had "made a promise to a beautiful Goddess incarnate and that i had failed miserably to hold my word", and that from now on, She would be controlling my finances for me. The girl smiled in response, and she and her friends probably had a good chuckle over the story later. i missed the deadline by a few minutes, but Miztress had graciously waited for the confirmation number.

On the way home, Miztress called me on my cell for the number, and W/we agreed that i had been a very stupid boi again that day.

When i got home, i was instructed to put on the ball crusher i made for Her, add 10lbs of weight, and stand with it for 30 minutes, then strike Her balls hard with spoons 50 times, photographing it all. When i was done, Her balls were very sorely aching, my legs trembling, as i uploaded the photos to send Her. The photos are Hers to share as She wishes.

She told me there would be no further conversation that night either, as an additional consequence. That really hurts, too. i am ashamed and disappointed with myself, too, for disobeying and displeasing Her, and my insolence.

i went to bed in tears of shame and pain, and learned that no cigarette, insolence, or disobedience  is worth all this.

i did not smoke today. The thought of a cigarette makes Her balls ache. When i came home tonight, i find that my checking account is altered. my name on it has been changed humiliatingly to my slave name, and my passkey altered to a slave's name. The account is near empty. When i need money, She will transfer into it the amount i need, if approved.

Once again, i owe Miztress my deepest and most sincere apologies, this time for my insolence in obeying Her instructions immediately without question or hesitation. Again, my behavior was totally unacceptable and i deserve the consequences She deems appropriate. i am grateful for Her not unleashing the aforementioned "shitstorm", and even more grateful that i haven't been dismissed as another one of those "bald monkeys" that have come Her way.

i don't ever want another cigarette.