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About Xixi75
I'm a 38 year old single sub, and most importantly just a regular woman with kids and a normal life.
I'm happily single, but am here just in case the right person happens along. I'm Looking for a LTR (not poly) with someone between about 38 and 47, where the Ds dynamic is just one aspect. l like people to get to know me as a person first, and a sub second. I submit to one partner, and one partner only, when the relationship is right, when I've developed mutual trust and affection with that person, and as part of an outwardly "normal" vanilla relationship. Also I submit in an erotic sense only; equality in all other areas of a relationship is extremely important to me.
I'm generally considered to be a gentle soul, and I tend to bond strongly to the people I have affection for; I love to feel erotically controlled, owned and nurtured, and to nurture and adore in return. For me, the eroticism in Ds is in the power exchange, and the handing over of control. I think of myself as being more into the psychological aspects of play and do not consider myself to be a masochist. Also I don't necessarily see sex as having to be part of a scene - for me the erotic is not always the same as the sexual, and power play to me is in no way about simply serving someone else's sexual desires. My character is to submit, rather than to serve.
Because this is Collarspace, I do feel I need to put some boundaries and explanations on here. They're not meant to be rude but I've had so much hassle I feel I need to put these on here, so here we go:
***I'm not a made-up person, and yes that photo is of me. However I'm just a regular person with a busy life. That means I'm not going to drop everything to come and spend a kinky weekend with someone I don't know, I'm not taking degrading photos of myself to send to you, I can't move to Milan to be part of your slave farm, and I don't want anyone to kill, abuse or project all their wannabe sadistic silliness onto me (yes, those are from real messages I've had). I do reply to *most* sane, sensible and reasonable messages, but not always immediately due to a slightly hectic life. Also like most women on here I get around 15 - 20 messages a day, and it's not always easy to juggle everything. I don't yet know if I want to meet up with you in person, sorry; you might know you're perfectly lovely but I have no idea who you are and I like to get to know someone a bit first before I know whether I want to go on a date with them or not (this is basic stuff, surely?). A response to your message is not "wasting your time" if I decide not to take things further, neither is it an indication that I want to meet. Also I do not owe you a message simply because I exist on this site and you have decided to send me one, and I don't appreciate being told I'm rude because of this. Women on here are used to being harassed for sending polite "thanks but no thanks" responses, me included, so if your profile indicates that you might be pushy in any way, I may well not respond (especially if your profile itself demands a response before you've even messaged me!). If I feel I'm being harassed by too many messages from any one person, especially if it's from someone who is put out that I'm not responding quickly enough, I do tend to use the block button. Occasionally I deactivate my profile when messages become too aggressive, though I do tend to stay in contact with those I've developed a friendship with.***
So in summary I'm a sub (not a slave or masochist, and definitely not a doormat), and I'm looking for Ds within a mutually respectful relationship. Needle in a haystack on here, I know, but Informed Consent isn't around anymore so needs must... ;)
PS: I'm quite friendly really. I'm just tired of all the insane messages. |
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