Collarspace.com

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wolfwere

wolfwere - photo 1
wolfwere - photo 2
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I'm interested in meeting potential subs, playpartners, and like-minded friends. I hope that one of those develops into a primary relationship, but I'm in no hurry to reach that goal.

My preferred dynamic for a relationship is a closed, fully meshed, poly family. That means, at the very least, all members love each other. I believe in polyfidelity and consent. All members of the group must approve of bringing in a new member. You'll probably play with friends if you want to, but no fluids or penetration. Yes, those rules limit the size of the family to a handful of members, with possible exceptions grandfathered in when the relationship is founded. Finding three compatible people is hard, and the odds plummet exponentially each time you add someone. My ideal partner will possess a full smorgasbord of traits, and it would be tedious to write them all down. I also happen to be a gentleman, and some of those things really shouldn't be written down. Anywhere. Let's carry on with some highlights, shall we? I love "heavy" bottoms, the girls who relish their bruises and scabs almost as much as getting them. I like to play rough. I want to sink into your flesh and leave my mark behind, while making you admit that you love it. If you are only suffering for me, and don't actually enjoy any of the details involved, the magic dies. I'm watching for determination and dedication. I want to see you struggle to succeed, regardless of how hard you think something is. I will most definitely ask hard things of you from time to time, knowing that you can do them if you apply yourself. I've been known to ask the impossible, but in those cases admiring your struggle is probably the only point. Purely prurient interest. A willingness to experiment, fail, and experiment again. Maybe that's the same as "dedication," but this time it's in the name of science!
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Yes, I have a profile with the same name on another site. Yes, its opening statement looks much like what you see above. I also happen to like some of their essay questions because I think it helps give a much better idea of who I am than a few rambling sentences can.

What I don't like is that you have to register to see a profile on that other site, it's a bummer if you'd really like to read more without jumping through a bunch of hoops. So without further ado, I'm going to simply rip off some of their questions and put my answers here.

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Briefly describe your personality -- what makes you tick? What should people know about you?

I've got a distinct need to be in control (I know, that's hardly a shocking revelation from a Top) that colors most aspects of my personality, but I've never been called a control freak or domineering. The most obvious manifestation of this need, from my viewpoint, is that I must have control of *myself* at all times. I can count the number of times I've been truly drunk on my fingers just because I don't like the way excessive amounts of alcohol clouds my judgment and impairs my actions. On the plus side, my compulsion to maintain control of myself means that it is exceedingly rare for me to regret anything I've said or done.

Truthfulness is a cornerstone of my existence, I avoid lying to those in my life and expect the same courtesy in return. Somewhat surprisingly, at least to my mildly cynical viewpoint, I'm very rarely disappointed on this score by those I become friends with. I'm not sure if I'm a better judge of character than I give myself credit for or if I'm just lucky, but I'm not going to look that gift horse in the mouth.

I'm reasonably certain that I'm not bipolar, but there are many things about me that seem to be at opposing ends of the spectrum. I'm generally perfectly content to spend most of my evenings at home, I rarely suffer from being bored, but I do get in the occasional mood that demands heading out to do something. I enjoy reading immensely, I've been known to spend an entire day uninterrupted devouring a book, but I'm just as likely to lose track of time while fooling around with my computer. I wear my seatbelt religiously, but scoff at the idea of wearing a helmet on my bike while cruising around town (long trips are another story, one bee to the forehead at 75MPH is enough).

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What are your pet peeves? What really ticks you off?

People who think that hurting someone is synonymous with damaging them test my patience. I like to cause pain, I don’t deny that, but to claim that I’m breaking my toys when I’m not actually doing any such thing irks me.

I enjoy pushing boundaries, playing on the edges of what my partner can handle and thereby helping them to grow further. Yes, my scenes sometimes look scary to others. That’s the way it goes, everybody has different limits, tolerances and kinks. Visible reactions vary, acceptable interactions between people vary, so what may be an indication of passing a limit for you may very well be different than someone you’re observing. Part of the reason people came up with the concept of a safeword is that it takes the guesswork out of interpretation. In light of that, the self-appointed kink police who insist on commenting or even interfering when no safeword has been uttered make me livid.

On a related note, people who blithely disregard the rules of any given party get under my skin. Most of the parties I go to have their rules posted and some require you to sign something indicating that you will abide by them. Despite that, I see people ignoring them on a regular basis, and they tend to claim ignorance when called on their behavior or they simply think that they know more than the folks organizing the event. Neither excuse is valid, I will not feel bad for correcting them.

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What are your 'deal breakers'? (turn offs etc - e.g. smoking, blue hair, braces, leprosy)

There aren't really all that many things that will chase me off, I'm usually pretty open minded. I'd be lying if I said there weren't any at all, though...

Stupidity - Not to be confused with ignorance. Ignorance simply means you haven't been taught about or exposed to something, it has nothing to do with intelligence. Stupidity comes into play when you refuse to learn, apply critical thinking, or claim to know more than you really do. I can teach (or learn with) the ignorant, but I will not suffer fools for long.

Bad hygiene (oral) - Conversations where the other person's breath curls your toenails is stimulating in the wrong way.

Bad hygiene (body) - Few things are worse than accidently brushing against someone and instantly feeling the need to disinfect your arm.

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What's your ambition? What do you hope to achieve in your life?

Happiness.

Wow, that's trite. Seems like a perfectly valid answer to such a broad question, but I imagine the point of this little exercise is to provide a picture of who I am rather than getting done as quickly as possible. With that in mind, I'll expand upon my answer...

I hope to one day achieve complete happiness. That is not to say that I am unhappy now, nor is it a goal that I believe will ever be truly attained, but as far as goals go I think it is the ultimate one to strive for. Lesser achievements may be encountered on my personal journey, but it's difficult for me to identify just a few of them because it suggests to me that once they are completed then my existence has become pointless afterwards.

I never want to say to myself "that's it, I've accomplished everything in my life that I wanted to. I can die now." I want to learn and grow throughout my life, fighting off the suspiciously thin guy who carries a scythe with all my will because I have NOT achieved everything I want. There will always be something new to learn, always some new idea to understand, always something new to try.

I think that's about enough of my esoteric answer, so just for giggles I'll throw in a few personal milestones I hope to achieve. I want to own a few acres outside of any troublesome city limits. Said acreage will have a large house of my own design built upon it, useful for housing several people and hosting events outside of public scrutiny. I want to amass enough wealth that I can support at least three people without being *required* to work for income if I do not wish to do so. I want to surround myself in a poly family that withstands any and all trials it encounters. I want to always be able to examine my life up to the present and truthfully declare that I've done more good than harm. I do not aspire to be remembered forever, but I plan to leave the world somehow better than I found it.

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2/17/2009 7:00:08 PM
Ruminating on the "Public Circle of Friends"

I'm really not a fan of the public circle of friends feature here. To my mind it smacks of the inane Facebook need to have more friends than anyone else. As if being a (virtual) part of some huge swarm of people you've never met means that you've arrived, you're part of The Cool Kids Club. It's like you have to gloat about how many friends you have by advertising it to the world.

Friends? Really? People you've never met? People you've never even had a conversation with? Do you consider people you pass on the street friends just because you overheard their nickname?

I fully understand that not everyone sees this my way, and that's ok. I certainly don't care that others want to play with this feature, what they do is their business.

With that said, it's not for me. As a general rule I will not trumpet my social network for all to see, nor will I accept requests to be added to someone else's list if I don't actually know them and am willing to call them a friend. I take my word very seriously, and the thought of calling someone my friend online when I don't consider them a friend in real life strikes me as highly hypocritical.

So, there it is. That's why I automatically reject add requests from absolute strangers, it also encompasses why I will normally reject a request from someone I've only met briefly at a party or presentation.

1/12/2009 10:46:35 PM
Deleted Unread:

Would somebody care to shed some light on this little phenomena for me? I can't seem to grasp the point of creating a profile here, stating that you are looking for something, and then deleting messages that are less than a day old without even bothering to read them.

Human behavior ceased to amaze me long ago, but I am puzzled by this one. Logic seems to suggest that if you don't want to be bothered with messages you wouldn't fill out a profile in the first place, no?

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dommeofyou
 
 Age: 30
 Church Hill, Maryland