Yes ... there haven't been journal entries here in months. That's because they all now take place on the blog site and are no longer pasted here. http://viehbi.com/ if you want to read about viehbi's day-to-day life, the boring as well as the exciting.

My Heaven Is Your Hell

I had known it was going to be a long day in advance, so I had a lot of coffee at work. Well, I probably would have needed it anyway because coming from late to morning always needs coffee… But I think I overdid it a bit on the coffee side. However, I don’t think I could have managed the day so well without it either.

It was a hard shift, especially because I had plenty of trouble with a customer. I was really glad when I could get out, even though I had ended up staying half an hour longer, as always.

Back at home Sir and his slave girl were already there and I liked her the moment I paid attention to her.

Master sent us to have a shower together then and we were supposed to wash one another. It was a good occasion to get to know her a bit better, because our Masters left us alone most of the time so we could chat a bit and I could try to put her at her ease a bit more. After all, she was thrown helter skelter into a new situation, in a different country and in a flat of people she had never met before in her life. I would have been nervous as well.

Something I really found interesting was that she said my blog is so different from other slave girls. I have never been particularly interested in reading things like that or rather, not interested at all. She said that the behaviour of some of them would even be very bad in a vanilla relationship and she wondered how they could behave like that in an M/s relationship and that I am different. Now that really made me wonder.

Read more...

A Seriously Bad Day



This day turned out not to be too brilliant. I had a meeting that day at work, so I didn’t have a lot of time at home. Basically I just had lunch an did the diary entry.

Master had given me instructions to go to the park afterwards to sit on a bench there and ‘play’ with the big dildo. Basically I was to push it in and out exactly 100x. And Master also told me to use a different bench, so I would run out of benches and look for another one in the end.

Read More....

Yesterday night we had two Dom guests (passion001

and MasterD5

) over and together we put viehbi through her paces. Full details can be found on the blog (http://viehbi.com).

Jack, for J&S

Food for Thought

For anyone interested, one of the men who recently had use of viehbi posted a journal entry. You can find it on his profile:

TheTartCatcher

There have been a few journal entries in the last couple of days, little of noteworthiness, hence no post on here. CM's a bit awkard to post in at times, so decided to only post the exciting bits here

Just a Day of Work



Hard Day



Just Some Thoughts and Not Much More



Day Off

Jack, for J&S

Back to Work

Back home Master gave me instructions to sort through more of His paperwork and of course do the diary update.

I took care of a general tidy up first of all, all the basic things, generally.

Then I got myself something to drink because I was feeling parched and started lugging the paperwork from dungeon into lounge, because there is just more space there to spread it all out. Basically it looked as if it weren’t going to be a very exciting day at all. Housework, than going to work and with a bit of luck, seeing Master in the night.

Well, for me it turned out to be some more ‘exciting’ than I had wanted it to be. And it left me feeling like a sad excuse for a slave. Sometime into sorting the papers, I started feeling a bit wobbly on my legs, but I didn’t really take much notice until the world basically started turning and I had to run to the loo and threw up the bit of nothing in had in my stomach.

Read more...

Too Much Gone Wrong

Master let me sleep late again today. I really had a bad conscience when I woke up, but Master said I had apparently needed it.

I began doing my chores then, which Master had texted me, however, stupid slave managed to displease Master that day.

A couple of days ago, a friend and colleague of mine had asked me whether I would like to meet her and have a coffee or something. And I completely forgot asking Master about it, with all that was going on. And of course, she asked me again that day. As she knows a bit about the power exchange going on, so only very very watered down, she knows I’ve got to ask for permission.

Read more ....

For what it's worth, we've registered VIEHBI.COM for the blog site.

Slave’s Quiet Day

 http://viehbi.captain-jack.net

Viehbi Blog!
We've set up a rudimentary blog site for viehbi. Hope you enjoy it.
 


Please provide, if you want to, feedback via collarme messaging. We have disabled comments for the time being to minimise abuse.

Jack, for J&S

Carpet Cleaning Day

Today was carpet cleaning day.

Master gave me some last orders before He left and also unplugged His PC Himself, so that I wouldn't have to do it. I really was thankful about that. Master also gave me the laptop to plug it in in the dungeon so I would have a means of asking questions if ever I had any problems.

Master also took two minutes of His time to sit with me. I think He knows I always feel very small after He had me used by somebody else and I cherish contact with Him. And also because He knew just what I hard day I was going to have.

First of all I took the easy things out of the living room, like DVDs, CDs and their shelves. Afterwards I emptied the computer desk off everything and then already started dismantling the electronics there. I really am glad that Master has got quite a lot of baskets and things to put all that in. That makes work like this a lot quicker because you just put it there and can carry it all out in one go.

However there were lots of cables lying around and I hoped fervently that Master wouldn't have me put it all back into order in the evening.

Now came the fun of taking care of the TV area with all the consoles. At least the TV table was easy to shift as it had wheels:-) It took me ages to get everything unplugged because there were lots and lots of cables and I had wanted to keep the cables plugged into the consoles to make it easier when you put them back. By the time I had run out of boxes but there was still a large suitcase standing in the corridor, so I decided to put it to some good use and put all the consoles in there. Plus, a suitcase has got wheels, so you can just push it around and a basket might have left some scratch marks.

Anyway, I was really glad when I had disentangled all of it, also because the area had been quite dusty. I had opened doors and windows already though, because I had expected that. All these areas are usually are quite dusty.

I carried out everything into the corridor that I thought wouldn't be too much in the way outside. I.e. tables, chairs, the full boxes and all the couch cushions.

And now came the fun of moving the couch. It was a lot heavier that I had thought. Especially since it had sunk into the carpet a bit and I first had to get it out of there to stand a chance of moving it at all. In that process I, of course, hurt my back. It did quite a nasty crack. I told Master about it because He doesn't like it when I damage His property. He said I should try to get behind the couch somehow so that I could push it and not pull. That did work quite fine, though it had taken a bit more pulling to get it far away enough from the wall. Sometimes a male slave could really be very handy:-) Or perhaps a female slave that is not quite so small and also stronger...:-)

Well, I unplugged everything from behind the couch then (it is really unbelievable how many cables Master has got... and He said He's got some boxes just with cables, as well...)

Now, it was time to get the carpet cleaning machine (or rather monster) because I would have to wheel out the TV table and then there just wouldn't be enough space to get that machine through. I also brought the hoover into the lounge because of course I had to hoover everything before starting the carpet cleaning. However, I took the time to get the dust off all the surfaces you don't normally reach as I figured it would be stupid if I did that AFTER I had cleaned the carpet and ten more minutes wouldn't hurt anyway.

I hoovered everything thoroughly after that, including the couch and all the little corners that are hard to reach. That did take me quite a while, but better do it thoroughly than be annoyed later, I thought. I knew there was a hoover incorporated into the machine as well, but they had stated quite clearly and several times in the manual that the area to be cleaned should be hoovered thoroughly before starting the process. As I had never done it before, I thought it might be a good idea to follow the instructions. I didn't want to mess up Master's carpets after all. Had they been my own, I think I wouldn't have been quite so anxious about it and just done it.

However I didn't want to displease Master. After all, He had trusted me with this and I didn't want to be a disappointing slave. Being scared of punishment is no longer that important in my mind either. It's more fear of displeasing Master or My Lady. And that can actually get me into panic by now, I assume. Punishment can be scary as well, but if and when Master decides to punish me physically for something I feel I deserve it and try to accept it (though it doesn't always work that well...:-) ). But by now, His displeasure hurts more deeply and I think enforces physical punishment.

Actually I'm a bit scared that when I do something stupid again and really annoy Master that I won't be able to take the punishment and break down again, as happened last time, because even the thought of displeasing or disappointing Him causes mental strain/pain. Oh what a whinging slave I am...:-)

Anyway, while reading the manual I noticed it said you should put aluminium foil around the legs of any furniture that remained on the wet carpet. It didn't give a reason, but I thought it might be because the cleansing agent may be quite damaging and I asked Master what I should do. After all I had to leave some things in the living room as no way was I going to be able to get them out of there, just because they were too heavy. Thus, I couldn't lift them up either, of course.

However, Master told me just to carry on and not to worry about it. Thankfully Master understands my limitations;-)

Well, I had my fight with the carpet cleaning machine. Something I always think quite curious about some manuals is that they often state the obvious, like it would be a bad idea to use it with a broken cable, when it comes to instructions about how to use these things, they get quite complicated and often not too detailed. Oh well, they probably just want to keep stupid people from trying too much with these machines.

It was very hard work, once I had got the monster started. Especially because it was quite heavy with all the water in it. It must have been all of about 7 litres in the machine, which is seven extra kilos added to the weight of the thing itself. And while it is indeed true that the cleaner itself isn't that heavy and somebody who isn't as strong can easily push it around, it gets quite heavy with all the water sloshing around inside it.

Also you have to replenish the water inside after every couple of lines you've done, which means a lot of carrying water around. So it did take me ages to get the living room carpet clean. Master had stipulated that I should be done with it between 12 and 1 o'clock and I was done at exactly 1 o'clock, funnily enough. As if I had been timed:-), as I hadn't done that on purpose or hurried too much. I thought, better be late than doing it dodgily.

Well, I had some lunch then and I was oh so glad about the food, because I was nearly faint with hunger. After all it had been hard work and I hadn't had any breakfast, as I had wanted to do the lounge before eating.

I did have a break then of an hour, about which I did have a bit of a bad conscience. But I needed it and I also had to think of the German Handwerker, 'skilled worker', who works hard, then has got a break of an hour (they always used to have a bottle of beer to go with it) and then they were fresh enough to continue working at full steam. Well, you can't call me a Handwerker, but I am German, so...:-)

Anyway, I started on the Master bedroom then. Taking out the things there didn't take so long, but I ran into a bit of trouble on My Lady's side. There is this little waggon which She uses as a kind of second night stand and I wasn't sure about what to do with it since it was stuck and I didn't want to disturb Her things too much. After all, She doesn't like me poking into them. I asked Master what to do and He said just to carry on and not to worry so much.

So that's what I did. I mean, I wouldn't have had time to look at anything anyway, though the books might have interested me. But then books always interest me and I think Her private papers are non of my business anyway. I know there are people who have to pry in all the concerns of others, but I do hope I'm not like that, as it's something I can't stand at all.

Well, I had finally managed to get everything out of the bedroom and hoovered it. Then came the joy of using my friend the cleaning monster again. Though I must say I was quicker now than in the lounge as I had got used to it already, even though there were more corners in the bedroom then there and it was more difficult to manoeuvre it.

I was a bit anxious all the time because many stains just hadn't come out completely but I had tried my best and Master said just to go on.

When I was done with the bedroom, I tried to find out from the little manual how to get the water out of the lower tank of the machine. It would really have been nice, had they given an explanation. But there wasn't. Just plenty of security info;-). However, there was a homepage of the manufacturers on the the sheet and I figured they might have some information about that. And, god save the internet, they had!

Great, I thought, however, you need something where you can have the water running into, when it runs out of the machine. But there was nothing like that in the flat and I didn't know about outside. Master said, I could try it with towels in the bathtub and just place the monster on top of that so there would be no scratch marks.

I was really glad when that worked and got the water out of the lower tank.

Now came the joy of replacing the furniture in the living room. The carpet in the bedroom of course wasn't dry yet.

I asked Master what I should do about what I should put back inside, especially with regards to the electrical stuff, since I wasn't sure, if I'd be able to put it all back in order again. Actually I was sure I wouldn't be able to, since at that point I was so tired, I couldn't concentrate anymore. So I just put everything feasible back and then I just had to sit down for some minutes and have a cup of tea, because I was so knackered I just couldn't stand anymore.

Well, to cut a long story short, now I just replaced everything in bedroom, cleaned out the carpet cleaning machine and prepared everything in such a way, that it wouldn't annoy Master too much for when He got back home. I also took of the clothes I had been allowed to wear for the cleaning then and closed the windows. I didn't want to be dressed, when Master got back. That is not fitting for a slave.

Master gave me permission for a short rest, before He came home and I had barely made myself comfortable when He was back.

I was really glad to see Him again, much like a dog or kitten greeting it's owner after a long day.

Master decided on some more toilet training for me then and told me to get into the tub. Master told me to open my mouth then and I started begging Him not to pee into my mouth. I know, I shouldn't have done that..., but swallowing piss is difficult enough when I'm fresh and now, it would have been almost impossible for me. But now, I think Master was just messing with my mind, to test my reaction basically, because He always knows just what I can take and what I can't and never lets me off if He thinks I can manage something, even if it is difficult.

Master then got under the shower with me and that was a completely new experience for me, being under the shower with Master. It was really nice being that close to Him under the warm water. Master also gave me permission to suck His cock under the shower, even though I did have some difficulty with it, because there was just too much moisture in my mouth with the added water from the shower, however, I did my best to please Master.

And He gave me an even better treat then, apart from being under the shower with Him. Master fucked me anally, even though it must have been hard for Him. He is quite a bit taller, than tiny little me, after all. Master also gave me permission to wank while fucking me, but I was so tired, I wouldn't have been able to cum at all. But that doesn't really matter. I love it when Master fucks me up the ass, as I think I say every time:-), and I love it all the more if it hurts. I was close to begging Him to hurt me some more, but it must have been quite difficult to get a good grip in the shower, anyway, especially because I'm so small. However, I think, I really should learn to beg. It's still quite hard for me, but I think a slave ought to be able to beg, but I don't know how I can learn it.

Master then got out of the shower and told me to finish cleaning myself and then to get some rest. He was going to pick up My Lady and take the cleaning machine back.

When I was done with the shower, I just had a quick go at my hair with the hairdryer and then basically fell asleep on the floor with a blanket over me. I didn't want to go up to the bed, because I was afraid, I wouldn't be able to get up anymore, once I had fallen asleep there.

When Master and My Lady came back I just stumbled outside. I think that was really automatic. Master told me I should get some more rest and that they'd be going out to dinner. I think He told me something else, but I was still half asleep and didn't quite get it. I was just glad I could go back to sleep.

I went back to my 'bed' on the floor, though Master had said I could be as comfortable as I liked and go up to my bed as well. But as I said previously, I thought I wouldn't be able to get up, once I was asleep there.

I don't know how long I slept, but I had a nightmare and when Master woke me up again, I think I actually screamed. Though I don't know, if I screamed for real, or just in my dream. Hopefully in my dream, anything else would be embarrassing:-)

As it turned out Master and My Lady had been back a while ago and had already hooked up all the appliances at the TV. I had a bad conscience because I didn't wake up to help, but if Master decides to let me sleep it must be for a good reason. So no fussing, slave!

Master took care of the PC desk then and when He gauged I was awake enough, He told me to write up my diary entry. It went better than I had thought. The sleep must have helped a bit.

My Lady prepared Herself for bed then and I let in a bath for Master. My Lady came to say goodnight to me then and She actually started stroking me and told me I had done well. She had never touched me without having been prompted to beforehand and I think I was a bit surprises, but at the same time I was so happy I nearly cried.

I had actually noticed the other day, how much I'd like to have some contact with Her, when we were at the restaurant. I said earlier in the entry I always feel small, after Master had somebody use me. Well, I also feel quite small and insignificant when He talks with somebody about using me. I would have loved to have some kind of contact with Her then. It would just have helped or reassured me, somehow, as well. After all, they are my owners. Ugh, I am pathetic:-)

I was allowed just to sit next to Master and talk to Him, while He had His bath and He talked over my day with me. Soooo nice. If I had been a cat, I would have purred.

Master gave me permission to have something to eat then while He was on the internet and afterwards He showed me off on web cam. At first, I was just sitting there (it is amazing, how many people watch a slave just sitting around) and then He told me to wank (people watching not so amazing anymore). I don't know, how long He had me wank, but it was for a long long time.

Master then told me I might suck His cock, but by that time I was really tired, or exhausted is the better word, I think. I did try very hard, but I just couldn't muster the endurance anymore. I think my body must have just shut down. With anybody else, I might have begged for a break and bed, but not with Master. He let me off and then told me to lie down on the floor again. By that time, my body was shaking. I don't know if it was because of being cold, or because of exhaustion. Maybe both.

Master actually had to lead me to the bathroom to brush my teeth, because I couldn't walk straight anymore and then He took me to bed.

I was so exhausted and everything hurt. It was so nice just to sink down into the pillows and just... sleep.

I know I wrote a lot about cleaning today, but I am a service slave cleaning is part of my existence, so I do something that won't really happen often, like carpet cleaning deserves an explanation. Also, if it had been my own, or anybody elses carpet I wouldn't have put in so much exhausting work, especially not alone. But for Master and My Lady it doesn't matter if I can't stand at the end of the day anymore or even still have problems the next. I just do it. And I hope, I was able to show this a bit.

Master and My Lady had to go back to work today so I was alone at home. I don't really like being alone, but that doesn't matter. There are definitely more important things than what I like and what I don't like:-)

Master had let me sleep longer that day so I would function better for Him. After all a knackered slave can't really be as useful as one that is awake.

When I had got up, Master sent me my instructions per e-mail. It basically was just some general housework and also sorting through His papers. The housework didn't take long. It wasn't much after all, though I did leave me some for inbetweeners, as I knew I was going to be sick of paperwork pretty quickly. I also went through quite a bit of papers that day, so the most complicated bunches are still missing. However, I had wanted to get a bit more order into it and I figured it would work best if I took care of the easy and quick categories of papers first as there were more of them.

In the morning Master had also advised me that we were going to be meeting another dom for dinner that evening, as he was interested in using me. So Master had instructed me to prepare my clothes for when He gets home, so that I would basically just have to jump into them.

I also was allowed to take a shower beforehand, which I did right before Master and My Lady came home.

My Lady got back sooner than Master, as I was to clean the carpets in the flat the next day and He wanted to rent a carpet cleaning machine for that purpose.

By the time Master was back we had got ready and we went out to meet the dom for dinner at a restaurant close by. Master had told me to wear the underbust corset underneath my top and also a skirt. I was relatively cold outside, but luckily it wasn't a long walk. Though I did feel stupid as I had always been laughing about people who weren't able to dress appropriately for colder weather. And here I was walking round in a shirt skirt. That just goes to show...

Sir was quite nice and Master and he had quite a good conversation over dinner. Sir ordered for me and I got an appetiser as well as a pizza. Master always makes good choices when He decides we meet up with people who are interested in using me and this time was no exception. They drew me into the conversation sometimes, though I was quite content just to listen.

Master also gave Sir permission to feel Master's cunt, which He did in due time. It did feel a bit awkward to be fingered in a restaurant, but sometimes it is quite handy if you don't wear knickers, so there was no fidgeting about.

I think Master and My Lady also got on quite well with Sir, so they invited him to come over to their place after dinner for a cup of time and maybe a bit of use of slave.

We went back in Sir's car and I must say I was quite glad because I had already become cold in the restaurant. I'm just not used to sitting about...:-)

Back home Master and My Lady continued chatting with Sir and Master then showed off my bruises to Sir and also demonstrated how He usually punishes me. Lucky for me, I had only earned myself two hits with the cane during the last couple of days. I don't know if Master hit less hard this time, but it definitely didn't hurt me as much as last time, when I couldn't even take the first two strokes of the cane at all. Today it wasn't that difficult.

Master then got the tawse, which He hadn't used in quite a long time, because Sir had been telling Him about one he had recently bought. As I already knew just how much a hard hit with the tawse can actually hurt, I almost freaked when Master said He'd try it out on me. I know I shouldn't have done that, least of all in front of a visitor. But I just couldn't help myself. I assume I just have to learn to compose myself a bit better.

Well, Master did try it out on me after all, of course. It's not as if I can say no. The tawse is almost as bad for me as the crop...

Sir then played a bit with me. He basically used the tawse on my back. He was relatively gentle I thought, but I just don't like the feeling of the crop and unfortunately I did fidget a bit. Well, I couldn't pull away of course and I just can't stop myself fidgeting.

All the while they continued chatting and it was quite interesting. Sir also fingered me later that evening which I did enjoy. Three months ago, it was actually hard for me to imagine that I could enjoy being fingered by a stranger and now, I don't care too much. I just want to please Master and if I can get enjoyment out of it, so much the better.

A good slave should always be eager to please, of course, though I think a slave is better able to please if it can somehow get good feelings out of it as well, on top of the knowledge that everything slave does is to please Master of course.

And I may add that I enjoy being fingered by Master most of all. He doesn't even really have to pay attention to me when He does it. Just the fact that He does and that I can be close to Master is good enough for me.

When Sir had gone, My Lady went to bed and I got permission to suck Master's cock. He was preoccupied though and it was quite hard for me to really please Him. Even if I know, Master is preoccupied I basically start thinking that I'm not good enough and that I'm doing something wrong. Master did cum in my mouth though and I just love that. I do like His taste but the knowledge that I have managed to satisfy Him weighs even more.

Master showed me off some more on cam then with His cunt exposed and my bruises in good view. They do make quite a nice pattern I must say:-) and I like the look of them a lot. I actually like looking at my bruises in the mirror... even if they were obtained through punishment. Strange considering that they feel more uncomfortable to me after a punishment then bruises I get just from play...

But well, the mind of a slave...:-)

Anyway, Master sent me to bed then and I wasn't oppossed to that at all, because I knew I was going to have a very hard day the next day, what with shifting everything for the cleaning and then the carpet cleaning itself.

Journal Entry for 26 March 2011:

I was still a bit shaky when I got up in the morning. Master took me to Sainsbury's then as He needed somebody to carry the shopping basket. Incidentally I like going shopping with Master, even if it's just groceries, as it gives me time to talk to and spend time with Him.

When we were back, My Lady cooked some late brunch and I took care of dishes standing around and I also did some laundry.

Afterwards, Master assigned me a task that was to last basically all afternoon until late evening. He told me to organise all His paperwork. And it is a lot of paperwork that needs to be organised. That's something I've never liked doing, hence the job I've got now, which does not have much to do with paperwork. However, there were some interesting things in there about His past, sadly not enough though to keep my mind properly occupied with it. After a couple of hours Master noticed how frustrated I was getting, I think and told me to take everything to the dungeon the way I'd sorted it and we were going to have some dinner.

I really was starving at that point, but I also didn't want to overdo it with too much food, otherwise it will take me ages to get down to the amount I usually just have. And as long as I don't feel sick or too queasy, that's alright. Though I have had an extraordinary hankering for some chocolate or things with lots of sugar in them for the last couple of days. Also, I have noticed I need much more to drink than usually as I feel quite parched a lot of the time. And I also feel tired more than normally. However, I think that's due to the fact, that I have hardly had a proper holiday ever since I've started working here and my body just needs a bit of rest and also some energy. I have been here for seven months now, after all and during my first holidays I was sick most of the time after all.

Master decided He was going to have some leisurely play with me that night with candles. I've never really had wax dripped on me, since I'm quite sensitive to heat, I've only dripped it on others, so I was a bit nervous, how I would behave. Well, Master didn't leave me much choice behaviourwise as He bound me so I couldn't fidget too much. However, He did give me something to hold in my hands, as I had said it helps me to keep myself together, though I got the sneaking suspicion He thought that was quite amusing.

The wax did hurt but it wasn't really unpleasant. It was just very surprising sometimes when it just dropped down. And as I still managed to laugh about Master's jokes and even talk, while it was hurting quite a bit, it can't have been too bad. I really enjoyed this bit of wax play (though bit is and understatement here, as Master used up two candles) and it was even relaxing sometimes and in some ways. It was the complete opposite to punishment. Master can hurt me and make me fidget, and as He likes hurting me, I enjoy taking all the pain to please Him. However, I do enjoy a bit of pain as well. And the atmosphere was just so relaxed, I just had to be relaxed as well. I mean, He did show it all on cam, but I don't really mind anymore. After all, they can't see my face and I think it is really interesting how many people watch these things.

When Master was done, I was quite thickly covered in wax, especially on His cunt. It was almost like a shield, or clothes. Dressing somebody in wax is actually quite an interesting thought. It could be quite erotic. The only problem is that once you start moving, the wax flakes off. I don't know how long Master actually played with me and I don't really care. It is weird that I always got bored in any kind of vanilla sex, even if there was much more going on at the same time and started counting the minutes, but if Master plays with me, I don't get bored at all, even if there is not much variation.

Later, I needed to go for a pee and I think Master enjoyed tormenting me there, because it was quite some time until He let me go. Looking back on it I'm sure it was really funny but at that moment I was just desperate. And as He rightly pointed out, I only become really annoying when I'm desperate. Well, it is partly my fault for not saying anything earlier, but I just want to go on Master's nerves by always asking if I may go to the loo. Doesn't seem right to me and I usually have no problem waiting.

After I had had my pee, Master told me to have a shower and to shave. Afterwards He applied some Franzbranntwein. It did hurt but I had thought it was going to be much much worse. The pain was only there for a second or two and then it was gone. Interestingly enough it only hurt hurt in the pubic area and not on the other parts I had shaved. Very weird. And it was such a funny feeling on the cunt as well. It didn't actually hurt or burn or anything, it just got very very warm and also felt quite moist.

We got ready for a late night show in the cinema then and watched 'Limitless'. Sadly, I was so tired, I missed some parts of the story line because I just couldn't concentrate enough on it. However it was nice to be going out with Master and My Lady. It was a funny feeling though to sit right next to Master on a seat. I would much have preferred to sit on the floor. However, I wouldn't have been able to see anything of the movie then and would probably have fallen asleep, even if Master had forbidden it. And I think we would have got us some very strange looks, if I had just sat down on the floor.

When we were back home, Master let me go to bed and I was so tired, I actually forgot to take off my bra and just threw it down from the bed then.

Journal Entry for 25 March 2011:

I was still quite tired when Master kicked me out of bed in the morning, but I was just so glad to be with Master and My Lady again I just didn't care. Master gave me my chores for the day then, but had to leave for work soon. Well, at least I got to see Him. My Lady left later and so I had some time to spend with Her. That's always nice. We spend the time chatting about Her favourite game, Dragon Age and at least I can talk with Her about it a bit better, because I had started playing it myself in Germany. I hadn't got very far, but it does make a difference to talk about something you know a bit of at least, than nothing.

I had put the Master's laundry into the washing machine while My Lady was still there and when She'd left I started going at it in earnest. The dishes were to be taken care of, the flat tidied generally, ironing was to be done and of course the update for the Germany visit. When I was basically done with most of what I could do I still had some time on my hands and decided that general tidy does include bathroom and toilet even if not explicitly stated, so I had a go at that as well, because I wanted to do something and not just sit around and wait for the washing machine to finish. And since I've got an MP3 player it's much more fun as well. I've discovered that Lordi is the perfect ironing and cleaning music and Schandmaul is almost as good.

When I was done I started preparing myself for the munch we were going to that night. I still had to take a shower, shave and wash my hair. As the collar had been on for one week and I couldn't even take it off for a shower it was a nice feeling to have the water running down my throat. So clean and no plastic round my throat. I do not like taking the collar off, but for washing it does make sense, though I prefer it if Master is there to take it off and put it on again. Anything else just doesn't seem... right.

Afterwards I got dressed for the munch. It's no bother at all anymore to tie the corsets. If I wanted to I could get them quite tight. Not as tight as Master probably, but tight enough. However, I still have trouble wearing the underbust corset and new I was going to sit in the car for some time and also have some food, so I didn't lace it as tightly as I could probably have done.

When Master came home, He had a shower, I prepared His clothes, or what I hadn't prepared beforehand and then we left for London.

I really enjoyed the London munch and there were lots of nice people there. I think that was the munch I'd enjoyed most so far, though I cannot say why. Maybe I feel more and more comfortable with my new way of life? I don't know. It just probably was the atmosphere there, though Master said, usually it's lots more people attending. My Lady joined us later and somehow it's like the sun coming out when She appears. Quite funny actually considering She's got dark hair:-) but I think it's just because She shines from the inside.

When we got back, My Lady went to bed because She was quite tired. Master and I stayed up longer because I was to get my punishment for being disrespectful towards Him in Germany. Master decided on 'just' some CP with the cane, though I think the words 'just' and 'cane' don't go that well together. But then, I'm sure, Master can think of other punishments that are a lot more... uncomfortable. As it turned out I was to receive 21 hits with the cane. I actually reacted shocked to that, though I can't really say. It was less than I'd expected but at the same time it seemed so much at right at that moment. It's such a contradictory feeling. Expecting more, getting less and being shocked at the large number... Sometimes my head really is a mystery to me.

And the evening got more confusing and also harder and embarrassing for me. I couldn't take my punishment at all that night. I just couldn't get the composure it takes to count and say my 'punishment sentence' while being beaten. I also couldn't keep my elbows down on the table. Not while doing the counting and everything. It just seemed to me as if it hurt much more than normal. However, that was mainly in my head, because I KNOW Master has beaten me as hard before, even if I was a bit bruised already and I was able to take it at that moment. After I couldn't reach the ten by counting myself (well, I'd got a lot more hits with the cane than ten, but Master had had to repeat a lot of the hits because I couldn't behave appropriately), because I basically broke down and couldn't talk at all anymore, Master sat me on the floor and talked very seriously to me about why punishment is necessary until I was calm enough to be able to speak again. Master put me back over the table again and told me He doesn't expect me to count anymore, He'd see the punishment through to the end though and begin at one again. It hurt so much and it was so hard to keep from fidgeting, but I survived:-), even though I think I started crying. I don't really know because I was so focused on the pain and on remaining still, but when Master had reached the 21 I almost crashed to the floor and Master had had me hug Him and had soothed me, I noticed I really was crying because the trousers of His pjs were wet. However, He got me calm so quickly, it really is amazing. I don't know how exactly Master does it but it works. I did feel quite ashamed because I wasn't able to take the punishment as I should have done, but than I had already got my punishment for it, because instead of the 21 hits it was more like 40 in the end. Master also said that the 'second' part was so bad because He'd imposed the punishment on me than, as obviously I wasn't able to take it. However, I'm really grateful He made me do it even if it was bad, because if He hadn't I would have been so scared next time and probably freaked out even more. And also, postponing the punishment just because I can't take it seems wrong to me. I made a mistake and I've got to pay for it. Period.
 

It's hard to say why it was hurting me so much more than usually. Master is correct when He said, it was because I noticed in Germany how very much attached I am to Him already and then displeasing Him is even worse. I'd just like to add, that much of the pain really was in my head, because I had been smarting already, and quite badly, because I had been so stupid as to be disrespectful towards Him, especially so far away from Him and in front of other people. And I think the mental pain I was feeling about it, just made the real pain a lot worse.

But when the punishment is over, even if it was really bad, it is such a glorious feeling of release, because you know it's forgiven now and you can look to the future without any kind of burden.

Master had me suck His cock then, and stupid slave failed again. But it was so hard that night. I was feeling queasy already because I hadn't had a lot to eat that day, the day before neither to be honest, and I was quite tired as well, so I just couldn't manage to get Him even close to coming. I did feel I had let Him down, but I was feeling so queasy by that time, I couldn't work myself into a state about it. I think I should have said something at that point, but I still thought I could beat it. Master showed me off on cam then and got me to do some things for a woman He was chatting with. By that time I was feeling so queasy I just had to say something because I was actually scared I was going to faint. Master stopped the cam than and was so nice to me. I do have a bad conscience, because I did inconvenience Him. And I might have avoided it, if I had thought a bit in advance. But then, I hadn't expected it to get as bad as it did in the end.

Master then sent me to bed and I fell asleep quickly. However, I woke up plenty of times because of the queasiness and I was quite restless as well. Actually I still notice it today. My knees are feeling very shaky and I could eat a horse, or two.

Viehbi's back from Germany and this is the update up until last night:

Master let me visit my visit my family in Germany for a week. Right before I went it seemed like a huge mistake, that I'd wanted to go in the first place. I knew I'd have to make more decisions for myself and also I would have to seem completely happy about seeing all of them there. Both very hard if you miss you owners...

Well, I had to leave very very early as check-in would have been in the early hours of the morning. Actually I was quite glad that Master had decided not to take me to the airport, because I hate saying goodbye there. It always seems so final at an airport and is much more difficult.

Master had locked His collar and I had to go through security with it and I must admit I was a bit nervous about it. However, I was really lucky because I knew the woman at the security check and she made a bit fun of me but accepted the explanation of a lost bet. So she just waved me through. I was feeling very very tired, though and Master had given me an allowance to spend in Germany, but to be honest, I needed a coffee at that moment, so I went to Costa's and got one with Euros, as well as a Diet Coke. Anything with Caffeine.


When I finally was on the plane and it started, I felt as if my heart was being torn out. While still in the UK, the line between Master and me was stretched but it almost felt as if it were breaking and I nearly started crying. However, I told myself off for being stupid and concentrated on falling asleep, which was quite easy, because even though I'd had a massive coffee I was extremely tired and slept through most of the flight.

Back in Germany I felt distinctly weird. It's all so orderly, clean and somehow bigger. I don't know how to describe it. Just weird. It looks just like a mask behind which anything could be hidden. I really felt like a stranger there and speaking German was so weird. I think for the first one or two hours I really had to concentrate not to ask questions in English.

I had to take the train to my parents's place and even though Master said a slave shouldn't be too stuck up the conversations of some of these people were really annoying. I did sleep but sometimes their pointless discussions invaded my dreams and woke me up. I was glad to get off the train and meet my parents.

Even though it was nice to be with them for some time, it felt wrong somehow. Master had ordered me to enjoy my holiday and I did my best to oblige. But sometimes the pain of being so far from Him and My Lady almost drove me mad and I often thought I can't stand it any longer. I felt so useless and lost... I did talk a lot with my relatives and we also went out to eat a couple of times, so I got things I can't get here. However, my mind was almost constantly occupied with Master. Luckily I can talk about one thing and think about another at the same time... It made me realise a lot of things, I really hadn't had the time or leisure to think about before that, because I sometimes went through conversations I'd had with Him during my holidays and one thing I noticed, that I'd basically do anything for Him. One thing for example was that up until a couple of weeks ago the notion had scared me quite a lot of being given to another Master as his slave. I couldn't imagine that some slaves do that happily. I can now. If Master ordered me to go to another Master, I would go, because it would be His will then. I probably wouldn't be really happy about it, but I trust Master completely. This realisation actually shocked me quite a bit at that time. It still does somehow, because it doesn't really make sense at all.

Another thing I had been thinking about was the notion of "breaking a slave". I had been reading about that in forums sometimes, before I had become Master's slave and it turned up in my thoughts, probably because I'd realised how much control or power Master has got over me already. I'd never paid particular attention to these threads at all somehow, but I began to wonder and asked Master what He thought about it and I got a very clear reply. You can certainly hang yourself if you start dissecting terms, that's something I'd always thought anyway and people often associate different meanings to a term. Anyway, I don't like that term, "to break a slave". People might argue I've been broken, but I don't think so. I certainly don't feel broken. After all, I WANT to please Master. I didn't have to force me to want that. Some things Master wants me to do are very difficult for me, but as I want to please Him, I try to do my best. Sometimes I fail, because I'm not strong enough and Master has to punish me for it, but as I want to learn and please, I feel that I deserve the punishment. Is that breaking me? I don't think so. It helps me to learn to please Him.

Something else that had occured to me while thinking about this, was Master telling me that many slaves address themselves not as 'I' or 'me' but as 'this slave' and I remembered Him saying that this may make it easier to submit to what happens to them. However, I see being Master's slave as part of my identity, wanting to please Him is also part of my identity. If He told me only to talk about myself in the 3rd person, I would try to implement that of course, and it might make some things easier for me to do or accept if I did that because I'd loose a sense of self after doing that for some time. However, I also think, that this 'me' in me makes me want to do things for Master. It makes things more difficult as well, but then it is also more satisfying if I still manage to do it as 'me' and not just as 'this slave'.


During my holidays, I had to send a digest of what had happened during the day with an outlook for what was going to be going on during the next couple of days. I tried to do it as best as possible, however, it was difficult to find the time and opportunity sometimes, as well as the quiet I like to have for that kind of thing. One issue Master addressed, was me writing that I had some coke a couple of times and Master told me to always have sugar-free drinks like diet coke or coke zero instead. I actually should have known, because that's what He always has, but I also was back in my old life again, and just didn't think. I wonder if He's going to punish me for it, though it would seem strange, because He doesn't usually punish for things He hadn't expressly talked to me about. On that occassion, He also told me to pee on my hands everytime I'd go to the toilet. I think somehow that had several purposes. It would be a continuation of my toilet training and it would also bring me closer to Him, since I'd told Him how much I was missing Him. And it also established more control over me, even if it were from further away.

I also was so horny during the week in Germany. It was really annoying. I was thinking so much about being used, I spend most days dripping wet and sometimes it seemed almost impossible not to touch Master's cunt. Sometimes, my imagination really ran away with me, especially during the night, but sometimes in daytime, as well. Master had fisted me quite hard, before I'd left for Germany and I was quite sore for a couple of days but that made the hornyness even worse, I think. I don't know, if it is because I actually like to be used roughly or because it reminded me of Him constantly or perhaps both, but it was really really bad. I actually woke up one morning with my hand on Master's clit. I had such a bad conscience and told Master about it. I was a bit scared about how He'd react, but Master that since I'd done it unconsciesly and had told Him afterwards about it, He'd let me off. One thing that occupied my mind a lot was one fisting porn, Master had shown me before I left for Germany. It was about a girl who was fisted roughly in front of an audience. I imagined myself in her place quite a lot. I did change it a bit though, I guess, in my imagination it was even rougher and more humiliating.

However, I messed up pretty badly during my stay in Germany and was really disrespectful towards Master in His abscence. Of course, He found out about it and told me off severly. I felt so small and humiliated about this slip of the tongue and also plenty embarrassed. I beat myself up pretty badly about it, even though Master had said it was my first offence of this kind and He would adjust the punishment accordingly. I actually dreamed about it the night afterwards and basically hardly slept at all because I felt so badly. Something I still have to learn is to let Master how bad the infraction was and accept it, even if I feel it was much worse and in my little sick head, might deserve more punishment. But, it is His decision and I really have to learn to accept it and not to question it. It is really weird, that I don't act up or question so much, with things that seem harsher or stricter to me, but that I start with things that don't seem like that to my mind. Silly slave!

Another thing I messed up about was hair colouring. Master had ordered me to get some Franzbranntwein to take back to the UK and also to return as a blonde. Blond is a hair colour I have a lot of trouble with, especially with people who intentionally dye their hair blond and so it was quite a tough order for me. I had a couple of nightmares that night and also didn't sleep much again and in the morning I couldn't stand it any longer and told Master how hard it was for me and that I was really scared I'd break down in Germany without Him and may need Him to catch me if I fall. Master let me off then, thankfully, and told me I'd have to do it alone back in the UK then.

Well, some time time later, I decided I'd give it a try anyway because I wanted to please Master. I got the colour and everything but it turned out darker than I'd thought it would. Master had ordered to send Him pictures when I was done but the pictures didn't turn out so well. I don't really know, how it happened but I disobeyed a direct order to send Him the pictures and tried to wriggle out of sending them. Master wasn't pleased at all understandably. I was quite abashed and ashamed, especially because I hadn't really intended to disobey. I didn't really do it intentionally, I just didn't realise what I was doing, but it is disobedience nevertheless and it will be for Him to decide how or if He's going to punish me. And there I made another mistake, which was just due to laziness in textmessaging I think and not thinking about what I was actually saying, because I just wanted to express how badly I felt about my disobedience. I said, I deserve to be punished. Well, it is for Him to decide, which is a punishable offence and which is not.

I went to the computer then and Master thankfully was online, so we could talk about it. I usually am more coherent in a chat than with texts... and I felt lots better after that conversation. It's unfair how easy it is for Master to influence my feelings.

Something else I find quite interesting is how fidgetty I am when I'm round other people and how collected I am when I'm with Master or My Lady, especially with Master. Usually, I have to have something in my fingers when I talk to people, just to be able to concentrate properly. That's something that's almost gone, whenever I'm with Him. I don't know, why that is, I just know, that's how it is. He'd never had to tell me off for it, I just don't do it. Actually I should feel much more nervous when I'm round Him, but He takes all of that away and I feel calm and relaxed.

Anyway, I was glad when the last day approached and I could hardly wait to see Master and My Lady again. I was so happy when He'd told me the evening before He'd probably pick me up from the airport. Actually I had wanted to sleep during the flight and I think I managed to do that for half an hour but afterwards I was so excited to see Him and My Lady again, I could hardly stay still. Usually, I wait in my seat, until everybody else has got up, but this time I got up immediately. Well, I did end up waiting, since I didn't want to have a fight in the aisle. It always seems rediculous to me. Everyone will get out and everyone has got to wait at passport control and wait for the luggage. So there is no hurry.

It took about half an hour to get out and then when I saw Master I was so happy and it felt as if a great weight was dropping from my shoulders. Finally He is back in absolute control again and I don't have to decide on anything anymore. I know I should be scared about what punishment I'm going to get, but weirdly enough I'm not. I'm just so glad to be back with them... It far overweighs everything else. I'm not looking forward to being punished, but without it, how am I suppossed to learn properly?

My Lady was still up, when we got back from the airport and I was so happy to see Her again, as well. She stayed up a bit longer and we talked for a bit. Then, Master told me to take care of the dishes, which I did gladly. I like being of use to them and I haven't been for so long. Master sent My Lady to bed then and He stayed up with me and just talked to me about my trip. It was bliss. And I could also be near Him and have some physical contact. I had been yearning for that for so long... I also got permission to suck His cock. I hadn't done it for so very long and I'm afraid I'm out of practice because it took me so long. But even if my mouth hurts and I get a cramp, it is worth it, because Master enjoys it. He finally came in my mouth and it was nice to taste His cum, as well. He had shown it on web cam and then told me to lie down on my back with my legs and also show of His cunt. Nice to be back to some kink...;-)

Master sent me to bed soon after and even though I was really horny I was so tired I fell asleep pretty soon.

For all the fisting fans, there's a new photo in viehbi's collection. Enjoy! Jack.

Journal Entry for March 15 2011

Today I had to get up relatively early, because there were quite a few things to do before my trip to Germany. Also, it gave me the chance to see Master and My Lady in the morning, even if only for a couple of minutes.

When Master and My Lady had gone I first of all took care of the basic things that had to be done in the flat and then took out all the things I was going to take on holiday with me, so I could just pack the rest once I got back from town. Master had told me to go to town straight away when the shops opened, but I wanted to have everything prepared in case it would get late.

First of all, I went and got the toiletry things, as I figured they would take the least time. Then I started to have a look round some charity shops. I thought it would take longest to find trousers, because I always have problems with sizes there. The first one I went to didn't have anything that fitted even though I tried on a couple of them. They were either way too long or too tight. And if they might have fit they were too ugly to be allowed, even on a slave. So I just had a look round some tops, but couldn't find any in my size either. In the second and third one I found possible trousers and in the end bought some quite nice tops in both of them. It had got quite late by that time because all that trying on takes a bit and I also do enjoy shopping sometimes.

I ran into a friend and work colleague then and decided to tell her a bit about my situation. Even if it was a very very very watered down version. However, I do know her quite well and I know I can trust her, because I had done so before and she hadn't said anything. Also, I do get on very well with her and just didn't want to lie to her anymore or tell half truths. She doesn't deserve that.
Her reation was quite positive, or as positive as could be expected. She said she couldn't have herself "bossed about" by somebody else, always having to ask for permission for almost everything. But I had stressed the point a lot that I had consented to that beforehand, actually I stressed it almost excessively. And I also told her what lovely people Master and My Lady are:-)

I went and got some thongs then, also I must say they aren't very nice. They are not ugly either, but basically just useful. However, it was the best I could get if I didn't want to spend too much money. I still had to go to exchange money as well and fortunately my friend had showed me where to go.

I still hadn't found trousers so and Master said I should also look for skirts. But they were either far too large or far too old fashioned. So in the end, I picked a pair of trousers, that were only a bit too long and I can shorten them in Germany.

It was already quite late when I got back and I still had to do my diary entry and pack the rest of the suitcase. But diary was first. I finished it just about in time and packed the rest of my suitcase as well. Then it was time to go to work.

We had a very quiet day, the only not so nice thing was that the first customer I spoke to started shouting at me.

When I got back home, Master and My Lady were still up and I got to give My Lady a hug and say goodbye to her properly before my trip. And it hurt. Badly. But then, apart from the fact, that it's hard for slave, Master and My Lady can enjoy some time just the two of them together and no slave hanging around. I'm sure it's going to be very very nice for them. Giving me this positive feeling just by thinking about them, is going to make it a lot easier for me. And they can leave as much housework for slave as possible, anyway, because I'm going to have time on my hands, when I get back.

Master stayed up with me. Yesterday He had mentioned He was going to give me some soreness for my trip. This turned out to be my first fisting from Him (and actually the first fisting from a man). I was excited and also nervous, but not really scared. I trust Master and I know He is going to push me up to the very limit and maybe a bit over but that's His right. Master also had people watching again on cam and even though I thought, ugh, when He said He would do it, I somehow don't really care about it anymore. Especially not during the play. There are more challenging things than the camera going on then.

Master first started me off with the big dildo and I noticed, I enjoy it a lot more when He fucks me with the dildo, than when I have to do it. Either He does it differently or it's just because He is Master. Oh well, probably both... Then Master continued with a big torch. Both of these hadn't really hurt, maybe they were a bit uncomfortable in the beginning, though the torch actually felt very nice because of the cold metal and it was very heavy and hard. Then Master used an inflatable probe and it hurt so much when He inflated it, oh my goodness. He also put on the nipple clamps but I was so focused on my lower half that I actually didn't notice them at all. Very strange. Normally I'm so sensitive...
To keep from making too much noise I actually bit into my arm and fingers and hopefully you are not going to be able to see it tomorrow. Master finally got His hand in completely and it really really hurt. I was begging and crying and I didn't care too much about how pathetic I sounded. But He is my Master and if He wants me to be in that much pain I'm willing and I actually enjoyed the whole experience a lot. It is actually quite strange how helpless I am even if I'm not bound. I did thrash with my upper body a bit but I always tried to keep my legs spread in such a way that Master has got easy access to His cunt even if it hurt me even more. Even if it had been worse, the only thing I probably would have done would have been begging.

Master also gave me permission to suck His cock afterwards while He was chatting. I wonder how He would have punished me, if I'd failed to keep Him hard..., but I did not dare stop to ask Him... He didn't come unfortunately and I was a bit abashed but Master that I shouldn't be because He was distracted, so I'm not going to feel bad. We talked a bit after Master had finished chatting and I got one of his worn t-shirts to take with me back to Germany:-) And I got a really nice hug from Him as well.

Later when I'd already started on the diary, Master came to me and let me lick off His cum from His body, as He had wanked in the bedroom. A very nice parting present:-)

I'm going to be in Germany for eight days now, visiting relatives. I'm under orders to wear the collar all the time and it is locked as well. I will have to advise Master of all I'm going to do in Germany if possible beforehand, and if not, I will have to tell Him afterwards, and I necessary ask if I would be allowed to do it in future again. The collar I may only take off in an emergency. I've got the key in a sealed envelope. I also have got a cash allowance from Master and only in a really really bad emergency should I ask for more. I hope that won't be necessary...

It is going to be very hard for me not to be with Master and Mistress, but Master has given me orders to enjoy myself and I'm going to try to fulfil these orders, even though it is going to be very strange not to be with them and constantly supervised.

Journal Entry for March 14 2011

This morning I was alone again with My Lady, because She'd got the day off work to explore Her new computer game. I always enjoy being with Her, as I've said previously. She let me sleep longer, as I'd worked late the night before and when I'd got up, My Lady told me to get some breakfast, basically whatever I like.
We also talked quite a lot, as a lot of things with regard to my holidays had crept into my head, that still needed to be organised. I know I've kept it quite late, but somehow the holidays had seemed so far away and I'm not used to organising everything in such a way, that I get Master's approval. I've got more or less used to asking for everyday things now, but somehow this is a lot different to me. It requires a different kind of organisation, than just going on holiday.

Another thing I had really started to get yesterday, were slave blues. Just imagining that I won't see Master or My Lady for eight days straight hurts deep inside. Just seeing them for a short while only in the night when I get back from work is difficult enough, but knowing that I won't see them for a long time makes it even worse. However, Master said He's planning on giving me some sores tonight before I leave for the airport, so that I'd have a memento. He also said He's not going to tell me how, because He thinks I might be too scared to come home then. I really wonder what it is.

I actually had some very irrational thoughts, that I'd rather be beaten senseless with the cane, than go on the holiday, and senseless as in bleeding and fainting. I'm really glad that Master is more rational than me, because that's just silly. However, I couldn't help this thought creeping into my head.

I talked way too much with My Lady and we also had a couple of laughs, so I almost was late for work. I just about made it in time. But then, every minute was worth it and I'm glad She had her day off right before I'm gone. What I don't like at all, is that Master and My Lady won't have anybody to do the dishes, to do hovering or do the laundry and My Lady would have to do it then. But I just can't help feeling that She is just too good for that kind of work and hopefully they'll leave plenty for me to do when I get back. After all, I'm going to have some time on my hand then.

That day at work was really good and I had quite a few successes. And when I got home it was even better because Master was still up and spend some time with me. He also gave me some new orders for my holidays to make the organisation of it easier for me. I actually have a bad conscience because He is such a good Master and I feel I don't live up to it at all, as His slave. But I'm trying to very hard. It's amazing how much I need His approval by now. Master sets tasks sometimes that are very difficult for me, but I want to be able to do it as well as possible, for Him, even if it means a lot of pain or humiliation for me. Somewhere I once read something by a slave who said, she wants what her Master wants and that is becoming truer and truer for me, as well. I've really noticed that getting stronger and stronger in me during the last couple of days, especially.

So anyway, I also got permission to suck His cock and even though He had cum that night for My Lady, it worked again when I was sucking His cock. It was plenty of hard work for me but even if my jaw starts hurting, it is definitely more than worth it because it gives Master pleasure. And it's also got this nice side-effect that I am allowed to swallow His cum, which I like a lot.

Anyway, somehow, today's diary entry is excessively emotional but I think that's due to the fact, that I've got a bit of slave blues...

Journal Entry for March 13 2011:

Master kicked me out of bed that morning because He needed somebody to carry the shopping bags. So I got up and went to Sainsbury's with Him. Well, I like going shopping with Master, so... Back at home, Master told me to take care of the kitchen and clear up all the clutter in the lounge. My Lady then showed me how to prepare a proper cooked breakfast. Usually, I would have just experimented myself, but as the breakfast had been for Master and My Lady, I didn't dare. I would have been so ashamed if it hadn't turned out right... After we'd eaten I took care of my diary entry and then it was finally time for the punishment. It is amazing how much you can work yourself up about it, if you have to wait. But then, you're also glad that it's going to be over with soon.

The only problem I had was that I was feeling weak-kneed and I didn't know if I could manage to remain standing without any problems. The beating was quite bad, I think. I always have problems to gauge just how hard Master is hitting. I only know it hurt. I was surprised though that I was able to more or less relax into it. I didn't fidget about as much as I normally do and I didn't loose count either. I also noticed that I couldn't feel my legs or anything else anymore, because I was too focused on the punishment. The sentences Master has me say whenever He punishes me, do serve to reinforce it, but, somehow I think it also can serve as a way of gauging when I've got enough breath again and am ready for the next one, especially when I can't breathe properly anyway. And me, it helps to pull myself together. You can't completely loose it and at the same time speak in whole sentences after all. And I also noticed that I can suddenly can calculate, because I sometimes noticed me thinking, 9 to go, 7 to go and so on...

I had some nice stripes after all, but the worst one is on my upper thigh and it is quite painful in a very unpleasant way. It feel a bit like a scraped knee only more painful.

I was allowed to have a shower then and had to prepare myself for work afterwards. This evening it was quite boring at work and we had a lot to laugh about. My shift was until 1 o'clock and it was past 2 when I got back. However I had a lot of trouble falling asleep. I assume because I had taken so many flu pills to survive work and there is caffeine in them after all. It was way past three until I finally fell asleep I think.

There was something else I though about quite a lot yesterday. I think it may have had something to do with the punishment. I trust Master completely and I can always ask Him if I don't understand something or feel bad about something. I particularly noticed that when I was bothered about the possibility about being punished at Isis. When I used to go through these BDSM communities there were often slaves or subs moaning about problems they had with their Master or Mistress. Even at that time I though, why don't they talk to them? These problems should be solved directly and not by asking in a community. Don't or can't they trust them? And now I understand them even less. And another thing, if I were a Mistress (as unlikely as it seems:-) ) I would be mad and disappointed if I found out my sub or slave had griped about a problem online, without asking me first.

But on the other hand it may also be the doms fault, I sometimes think. Not all are as experienced or as sensible as Master and have a bit of trouble controlling their subs or slaves. It is a bit scary that Master sees through me so easily bit it also gives me a big sense of security and it makes me all the more glad, to be His slave.

And that makes it all the more unpleasant that I won't be seeing Him or My Lady for such a long time now. I'm aching about it already... But I had asked Master if I may go, so it's my own fault and I am looking forward to seeing my friends again. So I think the biggest problem I have with it is that I won't really see Master before I leave for Germany. Only perhaps for like 30 minutes or something. So, yes, I've got slave blues at the moment...

Journal entry for 12 March 2011:

Saturday was Isis day and I was sick again. This is really annoying. And of course I had my period again, as well. So basically I was out of commission the second time in a row. I know I can't really help it but it makes me feel as if I had let Master down. After all I'm not really useful to Him, if I'm sick. Especially on days like these, when Master would like to show off His possessions.
My Lady was sick, as well, something I don't like at all, either. She shouldn't be feeling bad...
Master let me relax that day, so I would be in as good a shape as possible. My Lady had got Her new PS3 game and was playing it all day. I like watching Her and finding out about the game. Master actually let me lie down on the couch. This felt so wrong and I felt really weird. I think I even took a step back when He told me to lie on the couch, after all, it's not my place to be on the couch...
It was really interesting to watch My Lady play, but I think I dropped off a couple of times without wanting to. That's always a bad sign, when I just drop off without wanting to. I actually felt really very bad for lying around. Master had told me to, but it still made me feel quite bad because I am of no use to Master or My Lady and I always ask myself, why they put up with me then.

Later that day, we got ready for Isis and I just pumped myself up with drugs so I would be as awake as possible and without headache. However, this always makes my brain go even more fuzzy than it usually is when I've got a cold and it is very hard to control myself.

I mean, I love being their slave, but sometimes it is still hard because I can be quite silly at times, laugh a lot, make stupid jokes, and it isn't easy to curb that part of myself. I try to do my best but when I'm on drugs it gets harder. However, I have noticed that my body as a whole has responded positively to my new way of life. I used to have so much trouble with feeling sick, not being able to eat properly because I would throw up otherwise, not being able to sleep even though I was tired and then not really being able to get up because I couldn't get to sleep the night before. All this is either completely gone or almost gone now. My period was on time for the first time in month as well. I think, I'm much more balanced now than before. I know, I'm sick again with another cold but that's just got to do with starting to live with other people and of course the high amount of germs I encounter at work.

At Isis it was nice to see people again from last time and be recognised as well. I know I've got a relatively easy time of it because Master and My Lady are well known and liked there but still. I got a Vodka Cola this time, though where the Vodka was in there, I haven't quite figured out yet. I could neither taste it nor feel it but still it was really nice. Master also tight-laced me this time and I thoroughly enjoyed the feeling. The overbust corset is so comfortable I don't mind at all. Actually I thought it was more comfortable than at the LAM even though it was more tightly laced... Master had to stand at the door again after some time and My Lady and me found some seats and chatted. It was very nice talking to Her and looking at what others were wearing. The only bitter pill was that we both of didn't feel very well and it also got very full this time very quickly.
A friend of Master's and My Lady's came later and by that time I really had trouble breathing as it was so full of people and the air was quite stuffy. Together with not being able to breath through my nose this made me feel quite panicky and My Lady asked Master if He could loosen the corset a bit to give me more air. I was so grateful when He did.

Master came back in a short time later and joined us. He had planned to punish me at Isis for some infractions but it was so full it probably wouldn't be possible. I don't know if I should feel glad or not, when I think about it. At Isis, there would be people watching and I would feel quite ashamed if I started crying in front of them. But then, chances are, I would be tied down there and it is easier for me to take pain, when I'm tied down without the possibility to move than when I have to make myself stand still when it hurts as I have to at home. I can't really decide what's would be worse for me. Crying and looking like a weak slave in front of others or having to pull myself together at home and stand still while being punished...

It was one of the organiser's birthday that day and I got permission to have some birthday cake as well, though Master made me eat it without my hands. I found it actually quite interesting, to see if I could do it without making a complete fool of myself. Probably I should have felt humiliated but I was far too busy concentrating on eating only with my mouth to feel it. And at Isis it just seems quite natural. It is a lovely atmosphere there and I feel accepted. Master then told Sir to feed me like you would a dog. Now that was weird, really weird, but I did enjoy it. Normally, I would probably have started begging like a dog, but there is no reason in tempting fate (or in this case, Master). I don't need more punishment, especially not for behaving stupidly.
Afterwards, I sat at Master's feet again. I actually enjoyed that more, than sitting on a chair next to Master. This is where I belong and I can have some contact with Master. The only thing I do miss is having some contact with My Lady, as well. I noticed that. It is slowly becoming a very insistent ache, but I have no rights to push it in anyway. I can just hope, a bit.

Master then sent me to get our coats and Sir went along as Master was going to give Him a lift home. It took ages until they found our coats, I guess there are just too many black ones there... Sir said something along the lines of, if they've misplaced the coats, then I would get punished for it probably. But somehow I can't really follow that reasoning. I hope I wasn't rude to Sir when I said I don't think so. But I just can't imagine Master punishing me if they'd misplaced the coats. It doesn't seem logical. If I had lost them, then definitely.

Anyway, I think I fell asleep again on the journey home, because it seemed as if it had taken us 10 minutes to get back from London and I was really glad when Master sent me to sleep as I was very very tired.

Journal entry for 11 March 2011

As my cold was worse that morning, Master only told me to do the usual tasks, like clearing everything up, doing the dishes, as well as laundry. Apart from that, I was to rest, especially my voice, and also to have a hot bath. I was also to do the diary entry, of course.

I was quite shaky that morning and the first thing I did was put the laundry into the washing machine. I should have waited a bit I think now, because I just wasn't really up to thinking. I actually forgot to put Master's pyjama in with the laundry, even though I knew they needed washing, something I had thought of only the day before. Of course, by the time I discovered that, it was already too late. Stupid slave.

Usually, I should have done the dishes and everything before having that bath, but I was scared I'd drop something of Master's again and break it, because I was really very clumsy, so I decided on taking some medicine and having the bath first, to see how I was feeling afterwards. And I was actually feeling better so I took care of clearing up and the dishes then. With the diary though, I waited until my head had cleared a bit, as I also needed to send an e-mail to my mentor at work and both these things need a bit of brain, or at least as much as a slave can manage:-)

I tried to take good care of my voice after that, like having some hot milk with honey and lots of hot tea, as Master had said, I should everything I needed to fight the cold. I did read a bit as well, but sadly it was quite slow going because I couldn't concentrate.

When I opened the internet for my diary entry I got my first shock of the day. There had been an earthquake in Japan and My Lady's got relatives there. But when I texted Master He said, that her relatives were fine. Thank goodness! Well, it did take my mind off the diary for a bit and I tried to find out as much about it as I could.
At least I could listen to the broadcasts from a German news agency while writing. However, I  think the entry wasn't very creative. Well, there wasn't too much to say anyway. At least my work assignment didn't take me as long as I had expected, as I can be creative if I have to be...

Master had given me permission to heat some soup for myself, so that's what I did, however, He asked me to find some papers for Him and it took me quite some time to find what He needed, so I was in quite a rush after that, because I did need to eat, but I also had to tie the corset and it always takes a bit since I'm not that used to it yet. Somehow, I managed all of that and still made it on time for work

Thank goodness it wasn't busy that day at all and I could rest my voice. I also volunteered to go downstairs, because I was sure I'd hardly have to talk there. That proved to be correct, however, you are always alone downstairs and I got severe stomach cramps with the corset. I've never worn underbust corsets and they put a lot more pressure on the stomach than overbust ones. I'm not used to them yet and due to having my period I'm very sensitive there anyway, especially when I eat and eat I must at work. I tried loosening it first, but I couldn't fiddle too much because there is a camera filming us from behind downstairs and due to being alone I couldn't just go to the toilet. I was so lucky when one of our cleaning ladies walked past and I could ask her to watch the equipment for five minutes. However, I did have a bad conscience for taking it off, but I just couldn't concentrate like that.

The rest of the evening past very quietly when I was upstairs again and I didn't leave that much later, although at that time I was feeling pretty bad. I had actually coughed so hard in the changing rooms that I threw up on the floor. Embarrassing. But I was glad, I was getting back to Master and My Lady. Even when I'm not in the same room with them, I just feel safe there and whenever I'm somewhere else I really feel at loose ends. Completely directionless.

Back home, Master sent me to bed almost immediately because He noticed how bad I was feeling. However, I had a lot of trouble falling asleep because of all the coughing and sniffling and I woke up countless times because of that during the night. I had actually tried to read a bit before falling asleep but I couldn't even concentrate on one sentence, so it wasn't worth it.

Journal entry for 10 March 2011

I've got a cold again. This is really inconvenient. I can't serve Master and My Lady properly like that and I can't really be off work again, because I just was a month ago. Just my luck again. And I also had to get my period right at the same time to make me feel even worse.

That day I didn't have that much to do which wasn't that bad at all, because I was feeling quite weak. And it makes me feel a bit depressed, as well. After all what use is a slave that is always sick?

Well, first of all I went into town and picked up my uniform from the tailor's. I also went to boots to pick up some cold medicine, as Master had instructed me. Back at home, I cleared away everything, took care of some laundry and began my diary entry. It was quite long again and took relatively long because of that.

As Master had given me permission to rest before going to work, that's what I did then and I also had a shower, so that I don't have to go outside just having come out of the shower. I was so glad I was allowed to rest... and I overdid it a bit with it. I was almost late for work, because I had wanted to put on the corset before I left and I had forgotten that it takes a bit to tighten the corset. But I managed everything in time.

The worst thing, however, was the but plug. Together with my period it hurt so much I almost started crying because everything started to cramp up. I hadn't wanted to, but I finally had to ask Master if I could take it out. I was embarrassed and felt as if I had failed Him, but I just couldn't work that way.
At work I was glad they let me go downstairs later and it usually is a bit more quiet there because there aren't as many people and I could rest my voice a bit. But at work I failed again. I couldn't keep the corset on because, as I already had trouble breathing, the corset made it worse and I just couldn't do it and had to take it off again.

I could finish on time at least and hurried to catch my bus because I wanted to see Master and My Lady again. I was happy that I really caught it without problems and was back home relatively quickly. Master and My Lady were already in bed and I showed them my "new" uniform. I feel ever so much better in it and I feel extremely grateful to Master for having me get it properly fitted. I got permission to watch some television with them then and I loved it, being close to both of them.

Master sent me to bed then and even though I read for a couple of minutes, my body was glad to be lying down and I fell asleep quite quickly.

Journal entry for 09 March 2011

My Lady woke me up this morning. She stayed at home because She wasn't feeling up to going to work. My Lady did sound bad and didn't look too well, either. I'd rather I were ill and not Her.

I went to the tailor's then, to get my clothes fitted. I wonder what it's going to look like. There was a lot of material She's got to take away, as I've really lost a lot of weight. Well, we'll see. I also had a look out for breast pumps. They are quite expensive. The idea of being milked still bothers me a bit, but not really the fact of giving milk but rather that it puts a lot of strain on the body. I've already lost so much weight and keep losing more and usually, if the body produces milk it takes it from your own resources. That's at least that's what can happen, if you've got a baby. I don't know, if it can also happen otherwise, but it stands to reason it might. And also, you usually have to pump off milk in regular intervals, otherwise it leaks, causes a lot of pain and can clot. I don't know how that can be done with my shift work. I won't be able to pump milk at work, when I don't have a baby. The other point that really bothers me, is that my breast tissue is already damaged enough and I'm scared that might make it worse. However, that is for Master to decide and not for me, but I'm not far enough in my training not to think about things like that. Anyway, the only pump that I really would have fancied was the most expensive one, but it also was the most natural one.

When I'd got back, I had to do my diary entry. It was a lot to write and it took me ages. Master had told me He wanted it before noon and I really had to hurry to get it all done. I think I sent it off about 5 minutes to 12...:-) I had some time to spend with My Lady then, because the clearing up of the flat didn't take long at all and I still had some time until I was meeting a friend of mine. Master had kindly given me permission to go out with Her, if it didn't inhibit my service.

I spend a nice couple of hours with Her and we also met up with other colleagues. It is so hard by now, to talk naturally to other people. It seems as if there were something missing whenever I don't add Master or My Lady to my sentences. It is a bit scary. My last punishment must have been quite memorable in that respect. Not saying it actually causes mental discomfort. I acutely notice sometimes that I don't say it and than it feels as if I were slapped or maybe a wrenching in my gut, perhaps both. Anyway, a strange feeling.

I finally got back home and My Lady was playing Dragon Age. It is a game that would interest me anyway, but since My Lady loves it, I notice I want to find out as much as I can about it. That's something I don't usually do at all with computer games and things like that. I also mentioned I'd like to go shopping with Her one of these days, when we were talking about how difficult it is to do that with men. My Lady did seem surprised and I didn't know what to make of it and drew back. But I hope we will really be able to do that one of these days, because shopping with My Lady would really be very exciting for me.

Well, I learnt more about Dragon Ageand then Master came home and we had some dinner then. Master had a bath then, with me in tow. My Lady also joined us for a bit. Afterwards, My Lady had a bath.

Later that evening Master decided to show me off on camera again with a mask over my eyes. He put on the nipple clamps again and I had to kneel next to Him in front of the camera with legs spread. The nipples hurt like hell that day. They were still quite sore from the previous day and that the breast were hurting anyway due to getting my period didn't help at all either. It was hard not to start crying, it was that bad. But I didn't want to in front of the stupid camera. However, when my legs started cramping up and hurting as well, I was past caring about the camera. It's only a web cam after all. But I didn't want to beg Master to stop. It's not my place to decide when it's enough and even though Master pushes me, He never does more than I can handle. He is a very good Master. He pulled the nipple clamps off them, told me to sit on a chair and wank with the big dildo in front of the camera. That is quite boring and it was actually unbelievable, when Master told me how many people were watching. What is so interesting about seeing somebody do the same thing for ages. These people must have very sad lives and I think I said something like that to Master, as well. I know a slave shouldn't talk like that about other people, but even slaves can't always help thinking things like that.

My Lady went to bed soon after and She actually stroked me before going to bed. That was so surprising, but nice at the same time. Master had said to Her that maybe She should indulge me a bit more, because I'd like to have some physical contact with Her as well. And at the moment He has got to take it all. Master said that He didn't really mind, but I've got a bad conscience now, because I'm sure He'd want some peace as well sometimes.

Master gave also gave me permission to suck His cock again that evening. I like doing it for various reasons, but this time I felt like a really bad slave, because it took me so long to make Him cum. I was clumsy and just couldn't keep up a constant level of suction. And I let my mind wander to how hard it was this time. Usually I'm really happy when I can Master cum, but this time I did feel as if I had failed somehow. (Hopefully, no shrink will ever analyse my mind:-) )

I was allowed to cuddle up next to Master a bit before going to bed and even though it had got quite late by that time, I didn't mind. Spending time with Master is just wonderful.

Journal Entry for 08 March 2011:

The day started quite slowly for me. Master woke me up before He went to work and I got to spend some time with Him. It was very nice, because I had realised that night how much I miss having contact with Him. I know it's not about what I want and what I need, but there are some things I just can't suppress.

My Lady went to work that day even though She was still quite sick. I didn't think it such a good idea, because I've been at that point of cold as well and every time I went to work, it made it worse or prolonged it at the very least. But it's My Lady's decision and definitely not my place to voice an opinion. The only thing I hoped was that She would get through the day fine, or as well as possible.

When they both were gone, I started on clearing up what needed to be cleared up. I was quite slow because I was still half asleep and also quite cold, probably because my body was tired. I also put My Lady's clothes into the washing machine. Then, I had the muffin Master had allowed me for breakfast and some water, because I was quite thirsty by then. Afterwards, I decided I was sick of being cold and took out the vacuum cleaner, as Master had instructed me to vacuum the flat and I thought that was bound to get me really warm. Which it definitely did...

I started on my diary entry then and I couldn't concentrate on it at all. My thoughts kept drifting to other things and I also wanted to point out some of my feelings and I just couldn't get it to sound right. That was so annoying. I rewrote it a couple of times and still didn't like it.

Master had told me to take my uniform to the tailor to get it altered. It was actually quite low on my priority list but I took it out and into a bag already, so I'd just have to get dressed and grab the bag with it. I had wanted to do it round noon, as I had first wanted to get all the things ready, which Master had told me to do for Him. I tried to get back to my diary, but couldn't concentrate and decided I might as well have some muesli. That day, I was really featherbrained and everything took me ages. I don't even know why. Sometimes I think working 6 or 7 days in a row just tires me out physically and mentally and I need to get some real rest before I can concentrate properly again. The other thing is that my body is threatening me with my period and that always makes me freak a bit, more than usually I mean.

So I don't even know why I opened the cupboard with the cups but I did and one cup fell out. I think I probably didn't put it inside properly when I had cleared out the dishwasher earlier that day but I was in shock. I had broken one of Master's things when I was to take good care of them and I knew that He was going to punish me for it, which I do deserve, but I hate being punished and it scares me. My body switched on auto mode then and for some strange reason I continued preparing the muesli until I thought: 'What the f*** are you doing there, slave? Go and confess immediately.' So I dropped everything else and send a text to Master and confessed. I was so scared He would be really angry about it because I don't want to make Him angry. Then He told me the cup was My Lady's and it would be 10 strokes with the cane, if She didn't have any memories attached to it and it was my first offence. Well, it made it worse for me. With Master's displeasure I can deal, because I know more or less which consequences it will have, so I can gauge His reactions a bit better. I absolutely hate it when He is displeased with me and I hate myself for having caused Him to feel displeased. But I couldn't gauge at all how My Lady would react, especially if She connected something with that cup and I was close to a panic.

Well, Master brought my mind round a bit for the moment because He had asked me how my chores are going and then He told me off for not having gone into town earlier to go to the tailors and told me to go asap. Sometimes I'm quite talented in displeasing Master and then I get the impression that I will never be able to perform satisfactorily. There is so much to learn... But then, it's only a month now and if I want to be, I can see it quite sensibly. Rome wasn't built in a month either, after all.

When I went to the shop they told me the seamstress will only be in in the afternoon and I was supposed to call back later and see if she was in. So the only thing for me to do was go back home. There I continued with my diary entry but I still wasn't satisfied at all. Master told me to send Him the draft and He'd read it to see if He could help me. He did say it reads well, but I still wasn't really satisfied with it. However, Master seemed to be so I just finished it and sent it to Him, finally. It had taken me only a couple of hours after all for one paragraph.

I phoned the shop then and they said the seamstress wouldn't be in at all that day and I made an appointment for the next day. I was out of work now, basically, so I decided to continue my Civ education and started going through the tips and clues on the Civ fanatics homepage. However, I couldn't concentrate at all on it, because the cup kept preying on my mind. There were so many thoughts rushing through my head and I tried to contain them to be able to concentrate on Civ. But it wasn't much good. I was really scared of both their reactions. My Lady's more so than Masters. And I hoped with fervour that the cup didn't have too much value for Her. I almost started crying but it's not my place to cry over something like that. It's my own fault after all. And I was also scared of the punishment. I was on 16 strokes now and I still have the last 9 very much in mind. That was really hard. And 16 of them and taking them as composedly as possible scares me. A lot. Because I don't know if I can do it. But I don't want more than the 16 either because I mess up during the punishment. I also think that punishment should be taken as stoically as possible. The one thing that helps though, is that I feel I deserve punishment.

Master gave me permission to talk to a friend of mine, which I really needed to calm me a bit and take my mind of it a bit as well. He even gave me permission to charge up my phone for that. I was really glad and talking to her helped a lot.

My Lady came home then and I apologised immediately. She told me then, however, that the cup is actually one of Master's and She only uses it quite a lot. That made me feel a bit better then. So the one thing I hoped now, was that it wasn't anything special to Master either. I told Her then, how much trouble I had with Civ4 and She started a game with me so I learn how it works and it kept us occupied until Master came home. It's so much fun doing something like that with Her...

When Master had got back He had a look at the cup and put me a bit more at ease, because He said the cup wasn't very special to Him and I'd only get the 10 strokes for it. Plus the other 6 of course. It made me feel a lot happier. We had some dinner then and My Lady went to bed soon after because She wasn't feeling well at all. Master told me to let in some bathwater for Him and I was allowed to spend time with Him in the bathroom. There He continued my toilet training. I told me to get a glass and He peed into it. Then He told me to take a sip. I had to fight myself, especially as it looked very... potent that day, but I did manage swallow some. It tasted so bad that day though, that I nearly threw it up onto the floor. It had actually already come back into my mouth and the only thing that kept me from spitting it all out was that Master would have been very very annoyed if I'd done that. So I managed to get it back down somehow. He did notice though, that it was much worse than usually and tested it Himself. He gave me permission to put in more lemonade than usual though, which helped me a lot to get it down. And He also reduced the amount of piss I'd had to swallow with the lemonade. I was extremely grateful.

Master later showed me how to tie on my corset myself, as I'd have to be able to do it in future without help. I still think I'm extremely bad at it, because I just don't have the power it takes to tie it properly, when I have the arms on my back. But at least I can get it more or less tight.

Later that evening, Master told me to get the big dildo, as well a the nipple clamps, than He positioned me in front of the laptop, put the nipple clamps on and told me to play with the dildo in His cunt in front of the web cam while watching some fisting movies. I really liked the first and second one and they triggered my imagination (especially the second one) but the last one was just plain weird and actually quite funny and I had to concentrate on other things to stay horny. Like being in front of a web cam while wanking...:-)

After some time, Master ordered me to come to Him and pulled the nipple clamps off (ouch) and then gave me permission to suck His cock. He came in my mouth again. I just love it especially because I do feel I have fulfilled my purpose and because I like His taste. Then I was allowed to sit next to Him and cuddle up a bit close to Him while He was playing on the PS3 and then He told me to go to bed.

Journal entry for 07 March 2011:

My Lady stayed at home that day because She was sick. Master had told Her to let me sleep until around ten o'clock, as I had got back from work so late.

It was quite strange to spend so much time alone with Her, though I did like it. I think it was strange for Her as well... My Lady is submissive and I can imagine how weird it must be to have somebody who basically adores you around you. I think She enjoys it in some way, but I can't really say what type of behaviour She expects from me. She I is my superiour and I definitely feel that towards Her. I think the big difficulty here for me is, that Master is, well, a Master. He likes to dominate and control (yes, I know, I'm stating the obvious). Master knows what He has got to do or say to get a certain reaction from me. And I know that He expects me to be totally submissive towards Him in every way. It is not always easy and I slip up often enough to my own shame, but I definitely know that He expects total submission. Well, My Lady is more submissive. She is Master's sub, after all. She may be a switch, as well, but still sub. I think She enjoys having somebody who does the cleaning and who does the laundry for Her. A couple of days ago, She told me to do some ironing for Her, which made me happy, because it was unexpected. Now, I look up to Her completely. I think it really is adoration. I try to keep it down, because it makes Her uncomfortable, I think, and I don't want that.

Anyway, I My Lady gave me some breakfast and then I texted Master for my daily chores. It wasn't a lot. Basically just clearing up, doing some laundry and finishing the diary entries about the last couple of days, which took me quite some time. While I was doing the ironing, My Lady and me had a bit of a laugh because She found a very funny article on the internet.

When I was done with my diary, She let me have some lunch and a shower afterwards, because I had to go to work that day. It was a very hard shift, because we have got a lot of hardware problems at work at the moment and lots of people coming and I was glad to be getting back home. When I had got back, I couldn't find my collar and I was getting anxious because I didn't want to wake Master, as He would have got to go to work the next day. But I assume it would have been less bad to wake Him up than go to bed without the collar. However, He must have woken up Himself and put the collar on. And I was really very relieved.

Before I could sleep, however, I had to read a bit to get me to calm down because it had been a very stressfull day at work, with a lot to occupy my mind. However, I slept really badly that night. I woke up quite often and only really fell asleep at around 4, I think.

Journal Entry for 06 March 2011:

Master kicked me out of bed that morning and told me to hurry as we
were going up to London to the Alternative Market. We had just an hour
for all of us to have a bath and get dressed.
My Lady, as the most beautiful, had the first bath and was allowed a
bit more time, of course. Then Master had His bath and while He had
it, I took the washing out of the machine and then prepared my clothes
for the LAM as I was to jump right into them after my bath (which I
had in their used bath water, by the way). I liked the fact that My
Lady had been in it, as well. And I think Master knows that... I
sometimes get the feeling that He does some things so that I bond more
strongly with My Lady and more importantly, that She really gets used
to me being there.

Well, Master corseted me then, relatively tightly, but not too bad (I
could still breathe and walk quicker) and then we made our way to
London. By the end of the journey, my back was giving me quite a bit
of trouble and I was so glad to be out of the car and standing...
Bliss!

The LAM is a very interesting place. There are some beautiful things
there. I loved the handmade floggers on one stand, just like the
leather clothes we saw on another. And there are also a lot of little
things that are really nice and cute. Just like the corset handbags,
for example. The only thing I didn’t like at all about that day was
the fact that My Lady is really sick and was suffering. It hurt me to
see Her like that. I mean I don’t really like it when my friends are
sick and I’m honestly sorry for them, but that actually hurt me. I’d
rather it be me than Her.
Master and My Lady know so many people there, as well. It’s amazing.
And I like being led around on a leash as well. It shows I’m owned and
by who and that makes me feel sooo good because I adore my owners. And
My Lady looks so very elegant when She leads me round on the leash...

Anyway, there was a workshop later on as well, that was more of a
parody play. It was really funny and I like laughing a lot. And I also
enjoy looking at people when something like that takes place and I’m
always amazed at how many people are not smiling at all. I often
wonder if they just don’t get it or if they laugh on the inside. Or
maybe they didn’t get permission to laugh or smile... You never
know...:-)
Master had originally wanted to take me to the train station so I
could go to work from London. But My Lady was very poorly by that
time, and He decided we would all of us be leaving and they’d drop me
off on the way back.

When we were close to home, Master said we still have some time to
spare and treated us to some muffins and coffee at Starbucks, for
which He paid with ‘my’ card.

We had a very quiet day at work and a lot of fun being stupid. I mean,
too many girls in one day. There can be a real danger of that... At
least I got my bus on time that night and when I got back home I had a
small shock. It was a very nice shock, but still a shock. Master was
still awake. I definitely hadn’t expected that, because he’d had to
get up at half past seven the next day to go to work and it was
already half past two.
But I did get a real treat that night. Master gave me permission to
suck His cock and He came into my mouth. This time He even didn’t have
to tell me to suck harder or more quickly. I do like the fact that I
can make Him cum without Him having to wank. I mean, that’s my
purpose...
The only thing I didn’t like was the fact that I had to brush my teeth
afterwards, because that would take away the taste of His cum. But
Master had given me permission to go and have a pee before going to
bed I did that before brushing my teeth, so that I could keep the
taste bit longer...

Anyway, I went to bed after that and even though I was very tired, I
had to read for a couple of minutes to calm me down, as sucking
Master’s cock always excites me. And I had got a real nice long hug
from Master, as well and that’s not something that really calms me all
that much... But I slept quite deeply after that. It had been another
long but very nice day.

Journal Entry for 05 March 2011

We were going to Brighton that day to get some corsets for me, as
Master wants to corset train me. Before we went, however, I was
allowed to wash Master.

It’s so nice to be going out with both of them. I don’t know, why so
many people think it’s weird, that somebody wants to be owned by a
couple. I think, I’m lucky that way and, even if it is harder in some
ways because you have to deal with two different personalities, that
is also the big plus for me there as well. While it may be true that
you get less love and less attention and whatnot from one single
person, you have two different people you can talk to and they have
different ways of paying attention to you as well. And if they want to
spend time alone together, it does give you a bit time with just as
well.
I also like the fact, that My Lady is actually Master’s submissive and
while She is way above me in the hierarchy it is easier to accept my
place as if both of them were dominant. I’ve also noticed that I
become more and more dependent on Her as well. Or my feelings towards
Her are getting stronger at least. It’s different to the feeling I
have for Master. I don’t know how to describe it actually. It’s more
that I just want to serve Her in smaller ways, like doing Her laundry
for Her, carrying Her shopping, making tea for Her. Things like that.
For Master it’s different as He tells me exactly what it is He wants
from me and then I try to do my best to please Him, even if I fail
miserably sometimes.

Anyway, in Brighton we met a friend of Master’s and My Lady’s and we
went to Her place and I tried on some corsets. In the end they bought me two very
beautiful ones. One is an overbust one and the other one is
underbust. I’ve always loved corsets and both of them are very well
made apart from being beautiful and I do like being bound... Not that
it matters what I like, but still...

We had a walk round Brighton then and also a bit to eat. I like their
friend quiet a lot. She is very nice and has a good sense of humour.
That’s always important to me, as I just don’t like people who never
laugh or joke. I was still wearing the overbust corset then and I
continued wearing it to work.
That was an interesting experience, even though the corset was so
loose, it was very comfortable, even while I was working.

I was on shift until one that night and it got quite late until I got
out. And I did a very stupid thing then. I didn’t text Master that I’d
missed my bus and would be back later than normally. I don’t even know
what possessed me there, just the fact that I didn’t want to wake Him
up. I should have known that He would be concerned if I weren’t back by
my usual time.
Master was quite annoyed with me when I got back and sent me to bed.
Luckily, I was quite tired, so I didn’t have time to dwell on it too
much. Though I had a dream that night, that I was always late back and
Master got pissed off with me and punished me very hard for it... So
my conscience really was quite bad to dream about it.

Journal Entry for 04 March 2011

I had late shift that day and had been on morning shift the day
before, so it was almost like having a day off in between. However, it
did take me long to wake up properly. To be honest, it took me ages.
Morning shift always freaks me out. I’m much more awake the next day,
even if I’ve been on late shift until one or two o’clock, then when
I’ve done morning shift...

There wasn’t that much to do and as I was a bit cold, I decided to
begin the day by playing Civ, instead of cleaning. Well, actually the
first thing I did, when Master and My Lady had left for work, was to
put Master’s laundry into the machine, because the washing machine
takes a bit longer...
Then I started playing Civ. That day I actually only tried some things
without really saving the game. I just wanted to test a bit and I
messed up one game completely as a result?

I took a break from the game then and did the dished, as well as
clearing things up. Well, basically, my daily routine. However, there
wasn’t much to do... and I started on the diary entry. However, I
couldn’t really concentrate and after beginning two or three times
from the start, I decided to wait until I’m a bit more awake.
As I still have a bit of trouble with Civ, I decided to have a go at
the manual. But it’s such a thick book. However, I really want to
learn the game because Master and My Lady like playing it so much and
it does intrigue me, because it isn’t just stupid and mindless...
Well, then I wanted to have another go at the game to see if anything
I had read would help at all, but then the pc crashed. And I had to
reboot it. It was making a bit of trouble and I decided I’d have go at
the doors then, because Master had told me to clean them.
When I’d got into the kitchen, I noticed that the washing machine had
switched itself off. That shocked me a bit and I was scared that I’d
broken it. Master would be really angry I think, if I messed up His
washing machine because I’m too stupid to operate it properly. That’s
not something I want to get into trouble about. Not that I want to get
into trouble anyway...

The PC didn’t boot up at all anymore and Master gave me permission to
work on His computer. I finished the diary entry there, or basically I
started all over again and then I had a look at the Civ fanatics
homepage on the internet to look for some more tips. But the site is
so large... I think it needs some playing the game before I can really
profit from most of the tips there.

And then it was time for me to go to work.
On the way home, I got on the wrong bus and came home a bit later than
usual. Lucky for me, it was one that goes in the same basic direction
than mine, so I didn’t have that much further to walk. Master was very
annoyed with me, when I told Him what had happened, since I woke Him
up and I had a very bad conscience.
When I finally arrived home, Master put the collar on for me and then
sent me straight to bed after I had apologized for my stupidity.

Diary Entry for 03/03/2011:

I was up early again this morning as I had another morning shift looming. I inserted the butt plug, even though Master hadn't told me to, as I had understood it to be a new rule that I was to wear it to work from now on. It was a busy morning again and I got out late again. Very annoying.
Back home, I first took the TV box downstairs to throw it away, as I was still dressed and that way I wouldn't have to put clothes on again. Then I immediately started tidying up everything. It was less than I had expected and I was finished quite soon. I wasn't too angry that it wasn't much, because I was quite tired and my feet were hurting. I then sat down to do my diary entry and started playing Civ4 for for the first time. Master had also given me permission to have some tea. I was glad, because I had been cold almost the whole day and that helped me to warm up a bit.

Playing Civ4 is certainly very different from the PS3 version and it will take some getting used to. I'm still testing to see what happens. But I'm sure I'll get there in the end, somehow...

My Lady was home sooner than Master who came home ten minutes later. It's always good seeing them and it was nice to be alone with My Lady for a little while. I don't thing that's ever really happened before.

When Master was back He gave me permission to eat with Him, instead of having to wait for My Lady, whose dinner would only have been ready a bit later. Actually it was a very quiet evening and I was pretty tired. Zombie mode basically. The only thing that kept me awake was that it always excites me to see Master and My Lady after a day without them. Well, the only thing I did that evening was prepare a bath for Master and I had an interesting conversation about politics with Him in the bathroom and I watched Him play on the PS3. I also prepared His clothes for the next day and cut up some fruit for Him.

And then I got permission to go to bed. I was absolutely knackered and only managed to read for about five minutes until I could feel my eyes closing.

Diary Entry for 02/03/2011:

I had to get up really early this morning as I was on morning shift. Since I don't really like getting up early, I was a mess and only the first coffee at work brought me to my senses. It was an annoying shift again, because the customers are very very annoying at the moment and it was quite late when I got out of there and I was quite tired.

When I was back at home I started to clear everything up, do the dishes and all these little things. Then, I continued with my diary. Or tried to. Because the pc brought up an error message that a virus had been detected. It took me a couple of seconds to become clear in my head again, because this is Master's computer and I don't want to infect it. Then I had a look at what the security program said and texted Master about the detection. I'm really glad He knows His way round computers...

After I was done with the diary, I continued learning Civ Revolutions as I had been instructed and did indeed win the game. I had just finished, when Master came home. He had a look at the computer first of all and I was so glad when He said, the virus had been detected but blocked.

Then it was time for my punishment. It was really bad this time, because it did hurt like hell. I deserved it, I know, but I was quite weak-kneed afterwards. As a matter of fact, it still hurts quite a lot and sitting is not so nice. However, I have the hope that it helps me learn more quickly. And the good thing about being punished is that you know that your misdeeds are forgiven afterwards. So in a way, it also helps to relax. It also makes life as a slave easier, because I know, I'm going to get punished if I misbehave or break a rule and if I've behaved very well, I might get a reward. By that, I don't mean, I'm a slave, because of that. It just makes it easier to learn the behaviour that is expected of me.

When My Lady was back at home we had some dinner and talked a bit. It's always nice to listen to them and/or talk to them... Later that evening, I let in a bath for Master and spend time with Him in the bathroom and My Lady came to join us as there as well. I spend a bit of time in the lounge with them and also brought Master some pieces of apple again.
My Lady went and had a bath and I spend a bit of time with Master. It was quite late already though and since I had to get up at 6 again the next day, Master gave me permission to go to bed earlier than them.

The many ways of slave being kept humble on a daily basis

• I'm not allowed to sit on any furniture, not even when we are eating.
• I have to ask to go to the toilet, and say what I need to do. Sometimes, Master makes me pee into a bucket in front of Him.
• When we go shopping I have to carry the things and Master just puts it into my hands/the basket.
• Master makes me re-use His bathwater.
• When we eat treats, like dessert and I'm allowed to have something, as well, I get less than Master or My Lady. Or if I'm allowed to have something savoury, like yoghurt, making me eat it without cuttlery.
• I have to be naked inside.
• When there are three things to be put into the oven, and there is only space for two, my food is microwaved.
• Apart from asking to go to the toilet, I basically have to ask for everything else, as well. Taking money from the account, buying something with that money, asking if I may eat or drink something, asking to meet colleagues or friends, asking if I may go to bed...
• Ejecting an enema into the tub, or in front of camera (though I don't know if that counts, as it's not small or everyday)
• Making me say what a dirty slut/whore, toilet, etc I am.
• Making my diary public
• Making me beg to be fucked harder, when He's fucking me up the ass.
• Showing me off on camera and having me show myself to the people there in various postures
• Talking about me with other people as if I wasn't there
• Making me tell other people how, I've been humiliated in the past
• Telling me off, as you would a small stupid child
• making me confess to breaking rules
  
  Well, I'm sure there are more things, that can be put on the list. The only problem is, that about half of what I've got on the list is not humiliating for me, but natural. Not sitting on furniture was humiliating in the beginning, but now, I think the floor is where I belong. Carrying things for Master or My Lady is usefull, so it's my purpose and I do it.
  Re-using Master's bathwater is quite nice, because Master was in it and it saves hot water, ergo: economical.
  To be naked inside is quite normal by now, as well, though it may have been humiliating in the beginning.
  The only thing is that it's unfomfortable when I'm not wearing a bra and I cool out easily. A slave doesn't necessarily have to have its food oven cooked. There is not such a big difference if you microwave it and it saves energy. And why should a slave have as much dessert as Master or My Lady? So to me, this is not really humiliating. That's why I probably have trouble finding everything, because things that are really humiliating for some people are not humiliating to others or not as humiliating... And I'm also sure I've forgotten some, just because I can't think of them now...

Diary Entry for 01/03/2011:

This was the first day I spent almost completely alone here, as Master and My Lady had to go to work and I had my day off. It was pretty strange being all alone in the flat and it did take me some time until I could really get started on my work, as I was quite tired and I'm always a bit slow in the mornings anyway.

First of all I did a basic tidy up, as always and then I started cleaning in bathroom and toilet everything that I hadn't had time for the day before.

I also put some of My Lady's laundry into the washing machine, but now, I've got to wait until we have enough to start washing again...

Afterwards, I took all the things out of the larder that had gone past the expiry date. Now that was an interesting job... It's always fascinating, what you find there, but that's something I'd noticed before. Actually it's even more interesting, if you yourself had put the things in there and maybe find them again, when you empty it... But still, I enjoyed myself, doing that.

Master had given me permission to have some muesli or cornflakes withouth having to ask Him if I prepared it the way He likes it, that is with warm milk. Incidently, that's how I've always had my muesli, as well, as I don't really like the taste of milk only and warming it up adds flavour to the milk. So I'm definititely not going to protest. Not that I would anyway, of course:-).

I then started trying out Civ Revolutions on the PS3 as Master had instructed me to do. I actually quite enjoyed playing the game and it occupied me most of the afternoon.

Later that day, I took out the trash, because it was very very full after what had come out of the larder and then I noticed how cold I had really become playing the game and sitting still all the time, even though Master had given me permission to put on a t-shirt.

I had missed both of them that day, although I know it's a bit selfish of me. However, I'm so happy that Master can go to work again and I assume it has got a lot to do with the fact, that I've just become too used to Him being at home. Once some sort of routine is established (which isn't all that likely, given my job, to be honest), it will be easier. It is quite unusual though, that I've got to make the requests to got to the toilet, for example, via text... But I'm sure, it will be fine in the end, though I actually have a bad conscience, because I feel these are minor worries and I don't want to bother Him, especially because He's just started.

Well, slave was very happy to see both of them, even though it was not such a good evening. I've earned myself as many cane strokes just in the couple of hours, as I do during one day, or sometimes even two. And all of them were things, that could have been avoided. I had such a bad conscience in the end, that I didn't even feel, I have the right for physical contact with Master, because I felt I didn't deserve it.
    At least, I can pinpoint one problem I have now, I think. It always takes a bit of effort to remind myself, to ask if I'm allowed to suck Master's cock. But when My Lady is there, I do have a problem asking that. I always think that it might freak Her out or that She doesn't like it. I mean, I know She knows it's one of my rules, but still. And it's not even that I don't ask on purpose or anything. It's more like a block. I don't know, how to describe it. It's weird. Well, it may be due to the fact, as well, that I know that She is far superior to me and I somehow always feel stupid when I'm round Her. Basically, that My Lady wouldn't make as many stupid mistakes as I do. And what makes it even worse, is that I like Her quite a lot. If I didn't like Her as much, I wouldn't want Her approval and then, I wouldn't care as much. I love having two owners. It's really nice to have two such different characters here. But having only one owner is probably easier.
    I also think there is another side to it as well. It is easier to know when Master approves or disapproves, because I can physically feel when He disapproves of what I do (and when Master 'just' tells me off, it hurts as well), but with My Lady, I don't feel it and then I don't know when She disapproves. I think that may explain part of my problem... But it's only an assumption and I just hope I haven't just spouted some kind of goo.

Anyway, after I had finished my diary entry, we had some dinner and I was allowed to watch My Lady play Civilization on the pc. Then, I sliced some apple for Master and let Him in some bath water. I also got permission to wash Him, which is always nice and we talked about my lasts diary entry, as well.

Afterwards, I prepared Master's clothes for the next day and then, I was allowed to have a bath in His bath water. Before we went to bed, I watched Master playing a game. And then, it was time for bed.

Diary entry for 28/02/2011:

This was Master's first day in His new job and to be honest, | was a bit nervous. I am usually nervous when friends of mine have something like that coming, but since this is Master it was even worse. I was relatively restless all night and didn't sleep so well.
        I think something else that kept me from sleeping properly was that I think quite often I'll never become a proper slave. And somehow this is getting worse at the moment. It's so hard and I sometimes think I'll never learn. I want to and the more I try the more stupid mistakes I make. And every time Master reprimands me it hurts inside. And what's even worse, is that Master is disappointed because I'm so slow and stupid...I actually dreamt about it. I can't remember what it was very clearly now, but it was something like I broke every rule, because I just forgot them... But I'll just have to learn to deal with it I guess.

Anyway, Master gave me a to-do list for the day, which was quite extensive. There was still some time left until Master had to to go to work, so I let Him in some bath water and was also allowed to wash Him. But my lucky stretch didn't end there. I also got permission to suck Master's cock and He didn't have to wank Himself either this time. I was really happy, because, I think I've said it before, but a slave ought to be able to suck Master's cock until He comes, without Him having to put in extra work. Now that feeling is completely opposite to the other one...:-)

Well, then Master had to leave and it was so weird to know, I'd only see Him late that night. But His job is much much more important than the fact that I miss Him.
        I tidied everything up first and then I started ironing Master's things. Sometimes I wish I were quicker at ironing. But it can't be helped. Better a bit slower than too untidy, I think. I noticed it was getting late and started eating my fruit while I was working, so that I'd be able to get as much done as possible. After I was done with the ironing and had taken all the clothes away, I finished with the kitchen and than moved on to start bathroom and toilet. I did everything in there, that didn't take so long, like wiping out the sink or cleaning the toilet bowl.

And then it was already time for me to get ready for work. I had to rush quite a lot because I still had to put all the cleaning materials away, butt plug myself and put on my uniform. I also had to take off the collar myself, which I really hate doing. It's so...bah. I was in such a rush that I sat down on the sofa without thinking at all to put on my boots and I actually jumped when I realised what I was doing and dropped to the floor immediately. I was so shocked at what I had just done, it took me a couple of seconds until I could finish with my boots.
    And than I thought Oh shit, I hope Master is not going to be too mad at me. And I sent Him a text immediately. I was so glad when He said He wouldn't punish me as I'd told Him at once, it was like a great weight dropping from my shoulders. Talk about bad conscience...:-)

This shift was quite horrid as most of the customers were so rude, it's almost unbelievable. I would have actually needed to get totally pissed after that evening. Some people really have no upbringing at all, well actually quite a lot of people don't seem to have any upbringing at all, to be honest.

However, I was able to get out of there on time for a change because I really wanted to know, how Master's day had been at work. And, of course, because I had missed Him. My Lady was still up when I got back, but went to bed soon because She had to go to work the next day as well, of course and I got permission to stay up with Master for a bit longer. He also allowed me to have something to eat, as I was quite hungry. I also cut an apple into small slices for Master. I've always enjoyed cutting up fruit, but to do it for Master is even nicer.

Master sent me to bed not long after and I slept like a log.

Diary Entry for 27/02/2011:

It was my day off and as it was Sunday I was allowed to sleep longer. When I'd got up, Master was still in bed, but My Lady was already in the living room doing some sewing. I started tidying up and chatted a bit with My Lady, which is something I thoroughly enjoy. Then I started on cleaning the garbage area, as a funny smell had started to come from that place. It was quite annoying but oddly satisfying once I was finished with it.

Afterwards, I ironed some of Master's clothes and we also had some lunch. And then, it was already time to get ready for a munch. I really like seeing My Lady get ready and I would probably like watching Her, but I somehow think it would get on Her nerves. Well, it would annoy me anyway, were I in Her place... And She looked amazing when She was ready. I mean, She always does, but that day, I don't know, there was something about Her... Perhaps you could say She looked perfect? I don't know, wish I was an artist with words, to be able to give a proper description.

Well, we drove to the munch then and there I met some friends of Master's and My Lady's. They do have nice friends... There was quite an interesting mixture of people at the munch and that's something I do like. And one of Master's friends really cut a striking figure. I already said it there, but it's worth it to be repeated, I think. Master asked me if I consider him attractive and I did say yes, though I don't think attractiveness really is the word for it, at least not in the usual sense. There are quite a number of people I find really attractive, but they are neither striking nor imposing or anything like that. I guess, He was more of a presence, that strikes you than anything else. Oh, I'm putting this rather badly... Jane Austen I'm most definitely not.
    I did chat to some people at the munch, as well. And I really enjoyed myself. It's nice somehow, that there are other mad people like yourself out there...:-) It's so comfortable not to have to hide what you are, or be embarrassed or anything like that.
    However, almost the best part about the munch was the time, I spend talking to Master. It's amazing really how much I love it, and how much I need His approval. Or even the moments I can listen to Him and He listens to what I'm saying. Especially since He can just tell me to shut up...

From the munch, we moved on to meet a couple who had approached Master online, asking about the possibility of using me for some play. They were a bit older, but I don't mind that at all. I liked both of them. They seemed a pleasant enough couple. But we'll see. We met at a pub and Master ordered a starter's plate for all three of us and I got a share of it as well. I did like that. And I' getting used to people talking about me and about using me, like talking about a thing. It seems quite normal now, strangely enough. I'm always glad, if I don't have to join in these conversations though. I prefer Master doing the talking for me. It seems right somehow. And He always does a better job of it then I do. I always feel stupid when I have to explain something and Master knows just how He has to put the things He wants to say...

When we were back at home, I got ten cane strokes for punishment, because I still slip up too often, with addressing people correctly and behaving properly. This time it was really bad, because I had to pee so urgently, I was almost bursting, and Master had made me watch My Lady while She was peeing (which She didn't really like, understandably), which made it even worse. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to hold on or concentrate on the counting at the same time. And I knew that Master would punish me, and justly so, if I pissed on the carpet, because I couldn't hold on. It was really really hard... And punishments also hurt so much more. But then, I do have to learn, so...
Anyway, we also had some dinner and I got Master's clothes ready for the next day. The only thing I didn't like so much was that I didn't spend so much time with Master. But I'll have to get used to that now. And the time I get to spend with Him is even better then...:-)

And then, it was time to go to bed. It had been another long day...:-)

Diary entry for 26/02/2011:

Master let me sleep a lot longer this Saturday morning. I did have a bad conscience for not having got up earlier, but it also felt good, to be able to sleep a bit longer and be properly rested.

Master took me for some shopping then and I had to wear the butt plug for that. It wasn't really that bad, since the trousers I was wearing, helped keeping it in and it didn't get too uncomfortable. And I do enjoy going shopping with Master, even if I have to carry the shopping basket in the supermarket:-) But that's my job... And I sometimes think it must look very funny, me small thing carrying the heavy basket(s) and Master walking next to me with nothing. It does make me want to laugh at what people might be thinking...

When we got back home, I got permission to take the plug out, as I couldn't have kept it in with nothing to support it and as I had to to put the groceries away, it just wouldn't have worked.

Master then told me to put My Lady's washing into the machine and then to fold take care of some of His clothes. It was quite late by then and almost time for me to got to work. So I just had a fruit salad and then had to hurry on my way so as not to be late.

On the way a friend texted me if I would have time tonight to meet up with her after work. I asked Master and He gave me permission to stay out two hours longer for that. Master really made me very happy with this. Well, I also saw her for a couple of minutes before work, but we didn't really have time to talk because other people were there and we had to do shift handover, as well.

It was a very quiet shift that night. No disasters, no stress. The only little problem I had at work was, that Master had told me to wear the butt plug again. The thong doesn't keep it in very well and the work trousers are so loose, they don't help at all. So it was constantly moving and very uncomfortable, especially when I was walking around. And it also started hurting, even in my belly, as if I were constipated, basically like cramps. It did remind me that I'm owned, but that evening was so quiet, I had enough time to think about it in any case.
    Well, anyway. I was really glad when I could take it out during my break. When I was going through my daily routine later that night, however, I thought a lot about Master. It made me feel quite fuzzy in my head and there is also always this constant ache in my breast that makes me realise how much I actually miss Him.

After work, I went with my colleague to her place and we had some tea and looked through some of her photo albums. And we chatted. And chatted. Well, basically behaved the way women do when they get on well with one another... I had a very enjoyable time and I am so thankful that Master let me go visit her after work.

On my way back from her place, I lost my way however. I had told Master I would be back at around half past one and I knew I couldn't make it. I really had a bad bad conscience then and now it is even worse because I sent Him a misleading text. I told Master that I had lost my way and would be back later than I had said. But I didn't tell Him that I was back on track now and I got Him a bit worried I think. I should have thought before I wrote, I know. But now, I can't change it anymore. Luckily He wasn't that angry, only annoyed. Though Master shouldn't have to be annoyed at slave, because slave does have a bit of brain in the head and could have anticipated it. I have said so before and I'm going to do it again. Sometimes I wish He would physically punish me for things like that rather then let me feel that He's annoyed or disappointed. But He decides if punishment is appropriate or not, not me. Thankfully.

I was allowed to spend some more time with Him, before I went to bed and I always do enjoy physical contact with Master. I helps me relax after a long day.

Diary entry for 25/02/2011:

Diary entry for 24/02/2011:

This was actually quite a hard day for me. As Master had an important meeting that day, I first prepared His suit for it. I also tidied up the lounge, as He thought we might be expecting a visitor that day round noon. As I had done quite a bit the previous night, it didn't take very long.

Master had a bath later that morning. As He had to pee, Master gave me some more toilet training.

He told me to get a glass from the kitchen and pissed inside. He emptied most of it and told me to take a sip from the rest. My mind completely balked at the thought of it. I mean, I've licked my fingers clean and also swallowed some of Master's piss diluted with water under the shower, but this was more difficult, as it wasn't diluted at all. It took me ages, until I was able to take the first sip and Master was really getting impatient. I was so ashamed of myself that I couldn't do it, but everytime I tried something kept me from really taking that sip.
        And then Master told me to drink again and when I was to slow He grabbed me to force me to drink it and I actually begged to be allowed to do it myself. I know, He wouldn't have made me swallow more than I can take, but it is so hard for me that I'd rather control it myself. And Master let me drink myself. I even managed it. And a third one, as well. Master then ordered me to top up the glass with a bit of lemonade and to drink the lot in front of Him then. I had to coax myself a bit, but after swallowing three mouthfuls of undiluted piss I figured that some of it with lemonade wouldn't be half as bad.
        This time, I didn't feel proud at all about having been able so swollow some piss, but more ashamed really, that I had been so fussy. Master said, that He had been satisfied with my performance, because He had expected that it wouldn't go smoothly, given the problems I have with it. However, I still feel, that I ought to have behaved better and obeyed instantly withouth fussing so much. Somehow, I'd rather he'd punished me for my reluctance, than anything else. But it is His decision and if He says He was satisfied than this is what counts.

 Master then decided that He would give me an enema with the water in the tub as it was nice and warm. He had just started when He got an important telephone call and I had to wait already with water sloshing round my insides. It was really hard to hold on to it already and after His telephone call Master injected the rest of the two pints, as well. And then He told me to clean everything up. It was so hard not ejecting the enema there and then. Really hard. Never had been that bad before.

And then Master had a very nasty/devious idea. He said, He'd show me off on webcam while I was ejecting the enema. So He told me to get the bowl I use as my night pot, as it is slightly transparent and switched on the webcam. I could hardly hold it in anymore at that point and could almost feel it leaking out already. It was actually a release when He told me I was allowed to eject it. However, it is unbelievable how mortified I felt to be basically ejecting it in the lounge into a bowl. The camera was just an added difficulty. But at that time it really was being in the lounge and shitting into a bowl I had the most difficulty with. And there is also that nice smell. Somehow, this belongs into the toilet and not into the lounge. The part when it really got very difficult for me, when sound came into play. The first part of it, was that Master switched on the sound on the webcam and talked to me, while ejecting the enema. I mean, it's actually ridiculous that I have got a problem with it, because these people don't know me anyway and most of them probably never will. However, this really started to get mortifying, then. Watching is one thing, but watching and listening is another. I'm not sure, I can explain what the problem is exactly for me, but it sure is hard.
        The second part of the sound problem was, that I started farting along with the ejection and together with people listening and me feeling that it actually belongs on the toilet along with the smell, made it a real bugger. I just couldn't completely let go and my belly started cramping up completely. So to the mortification or 'pain' in my mind I also got the pain in my belly... It was a relief, when I got permission to finish on the toilet, even though I had to beg while the camera was switched on. I did feel I had let down Master by starting to beg in front of others, even if they just were on cam, but I couldn't help myself. Perhaps, I will be able to behave better, after some more training.

When I got back from the toilet, Master dumped me over the table in the lounge and started fucking me in the ass. Then He dragged my to the bedroom by my hair and threw me onto the bed. Master fucked me really hard then. He even gave me permission to cum, if I could before Him, but I don't think I could relax enough after what had happened beforehand. However, I don't have a problem with it. If He cums and enjoys it, that is good enough for myself. And I do love the feeling to be used as roughly as He likes and also enjoy the pain, even if it makes me cry out.

After I had cleaned myself up, we watched some TV in the lounge and than Master took me into the bedroom and I had permission to lie on the floor next to Him while we were watching TV there. This was bliss for me. He had me on His leash in the bedroom, which is almost as good as direct contact. And then, it was sadly time for me to go to work. Master also had to get ready for His meeting.

Just for the record, as there has been some misunderstanding. There was no financial interest or expectation in the sharing offer. Apparently there has been the impression of us pimping out Viehbi, which happens to be illegal under UK law.

If you think that all of this is fun and games, have a read here:

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/prostitution_and_exploitation_of_prostitution/

We have no financial need, nor desire, to benefit financially nor gain in any other way from Viehbi's sexual usage. It is (and perhaps was, for we are quite upset at the moment) strictly part of Viehbi's training.

Jack, for J&S

Diary Entry for 23/02/2011

Master woke me up to some breakfast this morning. It was really nice, but I was so tired, I hardly realised what I was eating. So basically, real zombie mode... However, I did like spending time with both Master and My Lady in the morning. It gives me a nice warm feeling in my belly.

When My Lady had gone to work, I ironed some of Master's trousers and took care of some general household things, like cleaning dishes and starting the dishwasher.

After I was done with everything, I was in for a real treat. Master told me to follow Him to His bedroom and I got permission to cuddle up at his feet. I loved it. It's such a great feeling to be so close to Him. I don't know if I can really describe it . Somewhere between extremely contented and deliriously happy probably. And I did fall asleep, as well. Little wonder actually, considering how tired I was. What I was really sorry about was, that something started tickling my throat and I just couldn't hold off coughing and woke up Master. I really did have a bad conscience about that.

Master then sent me to have a shower to get ready for work. He came in while I was showering and I got to lick of His cum of His belly, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
When I had dried my hair, Master was playing on the PS3 and I got to watch Him and eat a bit before I had to leave for work.
Somehow, leaving becomes harder and harder everyday. It's like as if something were wrenching my guts, when I have to go. But then, I do have to go to work to be useful...

It was quite a stressful night as it was extremely busy at work and I was quite tired when I got home. Master was still up and I spend some time next to Him while He was on the internet. Then I got something to eat and also was allowed to have some dessert.
When we were watching TV later that night, I got some more toilet training. Master pissed into a glass and I dipped my finger in 15 times, and licked it clean. Sometimes, I think I will never get used to it. It's so hard for me and I want to but, I don't know, it bugs me that I can't do right.

And then, Master told me to go to bed. Though, to be honest, I could even have slept on the floor next to the sofa, if He had fallen asleep there and left me with Him. I wouldn't have minded the hard floor at all. And that scares me a bit, as well, because it makes me realise all over, how dependant on Him I already am.

One of our guests has been so kind to make a journal entry of his visit earlier this week. Do check it out at his profile, his name is croydsurr

.

Diary Entry for 22/02/2011:

New picture added - taken 21/02, during the events described in the previous journal entry.

Diary entry for 21/02/2011:

1. I have to obey all of Master's orders
2. I have to use proper language at all times
3. I have to address my superiors correctly
4. I have to ask permission to go to the toilet, stating what it is I have to do. If I can't ask for permission because, for example, Master or My Lady are asleep, I may use the bowl provided for peeing. For anything else, I may use the toilet.
5. I have to ask permission if I want to eat or drink anything except water. If I want to purchase something or withdraw money I also have to ask permission.
6. I always have to be naked at Master's and wear His collar, as well as a bra, unless He tells me otherwise, so my tits won't end up hanging to my knees. Only in the dungeon and when cold may I put on a shirt or t-shirt.
7. I may not sit on furniture, only on the floor
8. When Master or My Lady get home, I have to greet them appropriately by kneeling, kissing their feet and welcoming them
9. I may not touch Master's cunt without permission, nor may I cum without permission
10. When I see Master's cock exposed for the first time, I have to beg to suck it. This also applies, when I see another man's exposed cock.
11. When I'm not at Master's I have to wear His collar at night
12. At work, I may use the toilet and eat without asking permission beforehand, as that would not be practicable in my job
13. I am expected to take care of dishes without being prompted to
14. If I would like an exception to any of the rules, I have to ask permission beforehand. Should it not be possible, I have to tell Master immediately when I get the chance.

Viehbi's owner Jack added two more photos just now.

Yesterday's guest who is known on collarme as MasterD5

kindly posted a journal entry about his visit to this slave and its owner. Do check out his journal entry. Vieh's version will be posted when its Master has set up its web blog.

Yesterday, after the enema, slave was taken by Master to IKEA where it paid for a new shelving and TV unit to go into Master's spare room. The total amounted to roughly £200.

This morning, slave is tidying up the lounge as Master expects a guest around lunch time. slave has an expectation that it will be presented and used. Afterwards slave is to assist in assembling flat pack furniture, then update its slave diary which Master plans to collate into a blog eventually.

Some updates.

slave was taken to Fetish Club Isis last Saturday. slave had a good time, including when it was bound to a spanking bench and was beaten by several guests under its Master's watchful eye. After Isis Master, MyLady and slave went to a friends place where slave was made to suck the hosts cock and assist in his eventual release.

This morning, slave received its first enema in an S/M context. Master plans to upload a photo of this when convenient.

Not much happened in the last few days for slave viehbi. It largely spent its days cleaning the flat or working on her slave diary which Master will turn into a blog sometime soon.
And of course it had to go to work, bills must be paid, even if they increasingly become Master's bills.
slave will be taken to fetish club Isis tomorrow and is very excited about that.
http://www.fetishclubisis.co.uk/

slave spent most of the day cleaning. Around lunch time its Master left and came back with a gentleman from collarme, known here as 'realityvsfantasy'. Master spoke with him at great length. During the stay of said gentleman which lasted approximately two hours, slave was made to present, been inspected, probed, massaged his feet and sucked his cock. Then it was made to fuck itself with a dildo which was stuck to the coffee table by means of a suction cup, while a webcam broadcasted this to an audience of roughly 100 people via the ALT chat messenger. Master also asked His guest to provide a journal entry describing the transpired events which will hopefully be posted soon.

slave was taken to a munch yesterday where aside from regular munch socialising was offered and accepted to a woman who used her for personal gratification by oral stimulation.

Today slave is going to clean the window sills in its owner's bedroom, wash the curtains, do Master's laundry, clean the bathroom and then fuck itself with a dildo in front of a webcam to either the collarme or the alt.com crowd. Also receive 5+ cane strokes to correct various failings which had accumulated since yesterday.

slave will be at a local munch today. People who ask nicely will be allowed to play with its cunt, perhaps even get their privates sucked/licked. Do keep in mind that it is a munch, so overt kinky/sexy behaviour must be avoided.