velvetpleasure


VelvetDom Female Dominant, 39, Fernandina Beach, Florida	velvetstrongha Male Dominant, 43, west, Kentucky	velvetdomm Dominant Couple, 33, Tampa Bay Area, Florida

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	About velvetpleasure If you have any questions please feel free to ask. I look forward to getting to know you. Any friends from past, present or even future are always welcome. If you have a pic in your profile and hopefully you do, would it kill you to smile and dress up a little? Also all the crap in the back ground is really distracting. I prefer women to men, I prefer TG & TS to men, no CDS please. Guys you have to be pretty outstanding to get my attention. Please come talk to me on FL, for some reason CM does not like to work on my computer unless I use safari and it takes forever to load. my YIM is velvet.pleasure but do not expect me to be on there much. My reasoning for putting seeking dominant men, I relate well to them and they amuse me. You can find me at the Valpo Munch on the 1st and 3rd Saturdays Winter Wickedness 2011 and at GD2 as my schedule permits. I am a very real person and hang out with real people I practice ethical non-monogamy.

I had a pretty cool date over the weekend. it was nice and it was fun. I hope she enjoyed herself, I know I did. it is refreshing to be around someone who thinks along the same lines and not some dumbass who thinks the world revolves around them.

"True Dominant male", "True slave", I find both of these ideas amusing!!!

why is it so difficult to find and maintain a relationship with a woman who is funny, intelligent, classy, refined, educated and fun to be around. I have met a fair amount of women both on the internet and in real life and yet after a couple of dates they are gone. perhaps I do not move fast enough for them. I like to take my time and get to know someone, I do not expect a commitment, other than the commitment to be who you are. maybe because I live my life in thrust, loyalty and honesty. I am a very sexual and sensual person, in addition to a sadist, however I am not here for you to just get your rocks off and leave. This should be mutually beneficial, unless you state upfront you just want to get your rocks off. Sometimes I am open to that, but I would prefer a longer term, open and honest relationship.

how does a mono person fit in to a an established poly couple relationship?

i was conversing with someone and i think my email is now going to their bulk folder, that is sad.

Please refrain from speaking before you think. I will make you regret it.

If the truth hurts, then hell, I'm out to cripple you.

I lack tolerance for the whiny, self-interested, self-pitying, mindless, drones that walk this earth. And I, frankly, could not give a shit less if telling them so hurts their feelings

Don't sacrifice yourself for the sake of fitting in; you'll find out they're not worth it.

from heartless bitches......

I do not have a romanticized version of life. I live in the reality with the occasional fantasy to amuse me. Slave life is not all about being chained, caged, whipped or about sex. Life is more dynamic than? the fantasy in your head. That doesnt mean that the fantasy cannot happen, it just means that real life comes first and then the fantasy during special time, and that can be from 15 min to several hours. Service, real service includes the mundane, and the stuff that happens during real life.

I am in pain, but alive, and that is what counts!!!!
giving birth is an interesting event, I dont recommend everyone do it. eventually I will post about the birth experience and the parallels to BDSM. for now, I rest and get well.

IT was a wonderful evening, after 10+ years I finally got to see her, Midori. The woman who started it all for me. She was the first person I read online when I started my journey. (aside from the gentleman who got me started in real life, he was the one that insipred me to seek more information) She is the author that captured my interest. It was not the Japanese Rope bondage that captured my interest, but her other writings, from way back then. I know for certain I do not have any of the things I might have printed or saved from those days, as that computer and that part of my life are long gone. But I have the memory, and last night was everything I thought it would be. It was worth the wait. Ofcourse I could have went to some event like Shabaricon and attended her siminar there over the years, but lets face it, I am not a rope person. Yesterday evening, was sublime, it was predicment bondage, which doesnt always have to include rope, or anything high tech for that matter. I highly suggest if you ever get the opportunity to see her, GO, it is worth it. to those that missed out.... well you should have been there!

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.... So I am flattered.

: "our society thinks that its looking for the next thing, but what its really looking for is truth, and every time it rings out it rises to the top." M Etheridge interview mag May 2005

Can someone give clarification as to why so called male Doms and those that think they are "Masters" have decided to email and insult a FEM Dom. It is their egos or their pee pees that are so small that they cannot handle the fact that there is a woman who can handle herself and speak her mind? oh wait probably, most doing so cannot read.
?There is nothing in my profile that says I am looking for a Dominant male. Oh sure there have been some that I have had eloquent conversations with, a couple I had thought of meeting because we had like minds and ideas, but over all I am not interested. It takes a lot to get me interested in a man and these types of men are the reason why. I guess if they are picking on me, that means they leave some one else alone, which is a good thing.

I am very amused. apparently there are some in the northern Indiana community who think I am a bit of a "trouble maker". I guess that is because I speak my mind and I also call people out to be fakes when they claim they know what they are doing. I have seen these people hurt others and not in the good way. These same people have also in the past dealt drugs at a few of the munches. and have stolen or actually swindled money from other in addition in participating in fraud against the state.? So I guess when I called these people out some 2-3 years ago, I was branded a trouble maker because I interrupted their business as usual.
Well these folks that have branded me this. I could care less, I know where I am and who I am and what this realm is really about. maybe if they wandered outside the northern/central indiana area they might have an awakening. but then I bet they would still have their blindfold on.

Some people may wonder where my bio went. Well? simply stated at this point I have decided to stop looking, not because I have found what I want, but because I have decided that looking for who and what I need on here is just not working. I have decided to stay in the real realm and just be here to journal and stay in contact with those who I already talk to. And perhaps share with others my knowledge and experiences in the hope others will learn from the mistakes I have made and the positive things I have learned.

if you are new to the "lifestyle", I highly suggest you do not rush into a collar. Find a core group of people, join a club and attend munches and learn before you pick up someone else's bad habits. There is no one true way, only the way that works for you. There is no harm in having a guide or a mentor, but do not combine these with a collar. Most submissives think they need a collar to belong, but seriously you do not. There is no rule saying you have to a collar in order to play the game. in fact a collar should never be rushed in to. it is a serious commitment to the relationship, not just the person, both Doms and subs should take this commitment very seriously. The commitment to serve and obey (sub) and the commitment to protect and take care of (dom) should never be taken lightly. but sadly so many do.
So newbies, make friends, check things out and you will be much better off for it.

SO I had been talking to this Dom guy, just intially casual conversation, most of it really fun, just things about normal life and what not. He was from the lafayette area. We were going to perhaps have a meeting, if both our schedules allowed, just to you know scope each other out. so I hadnt heard from him and I was going to send him a message to see if he fell of the planet, and it seems he has, his profile is now gone. you know the thing that is sad about it, is that he didnt strike me as that kind of person. oh well maybe he will show up sometime again online and we can hammer out a meeting. it hard to find people with like minds, even in BDSM.

One of the things I find truely offensive is those submissives that require that their Dom/Master/Mistress/Top not be involved with others, when they, the submissive wants to have their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife in addition to their Owner.
Who is then in charge? and to top it off the vanilla life S.O. has no clue about this life they are involved in. but yet the dominant must not have and S.O. or another sub/slave. It is disgusting!

This is one of the reasons why monogamy does not work!!!!

People are funny, one minute they join the site and have no master/mistress. 2 days later they have one and are totally committed. Hmmm I think they should be committed, to a mental hospital. ahhh the velcro collar syndrome strikes again!!!!

Sometimes all you can do is be brave and face things head on and not look back.

So the young lady finally showed up! it was alot of fun. very responsive. I hope she comes back.

my partner has started a relationship that involves play with a local woman, it pleases me. I like to see him happy and that makes me happy. It also causes less stress and tension for him, which makes our relationship more amicable. While I like her because she is nice and a decent human being, and an animal lover;? I have very little personal interest in her other than lending a hand during a scene or something like having dinner and such. I sincerely hope that this thing between them continues. It provides good balance for him.

UGH! many people are so overly sensetive! I say what is on my mind, and have always said what is on my mind. If someone takes offense to it, it is their issue, especially when things look like they are fine, and then the next minute they fall apart. What I said was not taken out of context this much I know, but it was not directed at the person that got upset about it. but then they decided for what ever reason they have to take it as I ment them, again that is their issue.

on another note based on a couple of other conversations i have had recently......I have and always will take issue with people that live their life in a careless and reckless manner, especially when you have been charged with the responsibilities of being a parent. I also have a problem who decide to use welfare services because they are too lazy to get and retain a job. yes there are those that from time to need to use the services availible to them provided by the governement, ie welfare, wic, etc. But when it is perpetually used because they are too lazy , that is just simple unethical.
I will not sugar coat, I never have and never will. I do not appologize for who I am or what I think or feel. If someone has an issue with what I say then they should be man or woman enough to have an open honest discussion with me about it. if they cannot well then they have no business bitching, whining, crying or complaining about something I say.
Life is hard, eveyone has challenges, some to deeper degrees than others, it is how you go about it that determines your daily outcome.

I am like those kids in that Disney commercial, where the little boys says
"I am too excited to sleep". hold on detroit!

This was taken from the Steel Door discussion group on Yahoo. for me this is how I view alot of people.

".......Put another way, boundaries help us define who we are.? And only people
with a good sense of who they are can relate to other people who have a good sense of who they are.? People who lack this level of identity, of clarity of being, tend to be less attractive to those who have it."

Polyamory is defined by informed consent of all the participants. Without it, it ain't poly. If you can't invite your lover over to Thanksgiving dinner with the rest of your family because you don't want anyone to know what you're doing, it probably ain't poly.
It's been my experience that many monogamous people actually practice "serial monogamy"--jumping from lover to lover to lover, while claiming to be "monogamous" with each one. While no reasonable person expects every relationship to last, it seems that many "serial monogamists" see their partners as expendable, or more often, stay with one partner only until someone "better" comes along. Polyamory is more ethical than serial monogamy as it is sometimes practiced; polyamorists do not discard their lovers when the next interesting person walks down the road. This flavor of serial monogamy is, I think, the essence of people who can't commit!
When you love more than one person, you soon realize that the more love you give away, the more love you have to give. Yes, you CAN give your whole heart to more than one person, and when you do, you realize it's the most beautiful feeling in all the world.
Remember, with polyamory, we're talking about more than one romantic relationship, not just more than one sex partner. The social dynamic can be very complex, and goes way beyond who's having sex with whom.
http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html

Polyamory implies a relationship, sex in any form, and some kind of commitment to the continuance of the relationship. It implies we know each other well enough to be planning to be around for a while.

I saw this on someones blog on another site, and I kind of like it.

When someone puts up a picture, would it kill them to smile a bit?

One of the things I pride myself in is education to others and providing a safe place in which to learn and grow in. It bothers me when you make a "date" with someone and are given excuse after excuse when they dont show up. While I am not working, I do make valuable use of my time and I try to be availible to help those who are on their journey, but I am tired of this, "I might be there but I am scared", and then never give an actual answer. The thing is, you never know how things are going to be until you try. And yes I know life is hard, being young and having to work around nosey loved ones is hard. But only you can get what you want, all you have to do is SHOW UP when you say you will.

If you don?t understand poly, or you think you know what it is and you think that it is not for you, then read the book Ethical Slut, by Easton & Liszt. It may change your perspective. Many people think they get it, but they really don?t. Most people think they get BDSM and they really don?t. Communication is paramount in BDSM and if you don?t get that, then you really should reconsider what you are doing in this realm. I don?t care if you are top or bottom, Dom or sub, Master or slave, male or female, if you cannot effectively communicate with another human being, or if you feel like you have to hide behind something, or you are ashamed of who you are, then you really need to re-think what you are doing. I am not saying you have to be OUT and advertising it, but more don?t deny who you are, embrace who you are.

I am wondering.....
how can someone be on CM like 5-7 days and be istantly collared. I mean seriously, can someone explain this? obviously neither the Dom or the sub sincerely understands the meaning of a collar. Collaring someone takes time, you have to get to know the person even before a traning collar should be offered. It has to be understood that when someone is even offered a training collar that it may not lead to permance. On average getting a permanent collar takes 9-24 months depending on the time the Dom and sub can spend together. Real life may impede on the time they spend together, and that is the reality. A Dom that is of any worth would not offer one in 5-7 days, they would try to find out as much as possible about any potential property they may be responsible for. In 5-7 days you cannot possibly find out everything you need to know about a person. Are the healthy both physically and mentally? Are they able to understand all the rights and responsibilities that come with ownership?
How is it known that they can even serve in the household in any capacity?
So many questions on both sides and not enough time is given!

I am going to Wicked Detroit on JUne 28 www.wickeddetroit.com Will you be there? would you like to go? please do tell.
It is an action packed month, munch on June 7 at Decoys, eduction and social at GD on the 14th, alterntive munch on the 21st perhaps.
Stuff to do, stuff to do.
and oh yeah I have a date this week, with a lovely young lady that wants to learn. I am also mentoring another FemDom, when we have the time to get together; which is really cool. Also because I have the time and I am fustrated, I am going to write a knife play demo. I have seen so many and of those so few actaully know how to give an accurate presenation on the subject. I post when I have it completeled and then I can maybe do a demo for you and your group. ;-)

I have determined that even though someone might read a profile, they never really read it, or read it throughly.
I like people who are orginal in their thought, not the mindless lemmings that say "I want to worship you Mistress" or those that think I am interested in cross dressers.

Some people like to play dangerous games.
?saying one person outted one to another, and thus ruining the reputation of the person who is supposedly doing the outting. I am fairly certain, though I do not know for sure, but the person who was supposedly outted to her family was most likely outted by her abusive exhusband, who she is always in contact with though she lies about it, and not the person who was actually blamed for the outing. The person that was blamed actually does have a life and responsibilities and from what I gather isnt in to silly little petty games, but hey maybe I am wrong. Where as the person who was "outted", her exhusband, is "disabled" to a point, and doesnt have a life and is a control freak, and likes to play littel games. which is why she left him for the southwest in the first place. Hell he outted her to her mother when she came to live with me for that very short time after coming from the southwest.
She told the people who were Dom coupleshe had lives with, that she met us through roomates.com, not true, it was here on collarme, along with contacting a ton of other people which I found out and have proof of.
But she wanted to be with someone else, so we worked it out and sent her there. When she figured out she couldnt lie to them, she found another couple and duped them and in less than 90 days is collared. Maybe it is one of those famous "velcro collars".
So most likey it was her husband that outted her and not some other person that was named in her "masters" blog post on another site, because I doubt that she would have had her mothers phone number or an email address.
But this young lady likes the drama and total focus on her. I hope her "sister slave" who was there first doesnt get hurt. but then most people are naive anyway and have to learn one way or another.
I am just glad that she isnt here making my life an utter chaos, because I would just throw her ass out, just like I promised if she even thought about smoking. which oh yeah she went back to doing.
what an icky mess. Did I mention that her mother is an alcoholic?
BDSM will not save a person, and one day all the issues will catch up to a person.
enough with the ICKY lets find the happy!

IML was freaking fantastic. I aquired 2 new floggers from Toolworks (floogers.com), a new gag for those that have TMJ issues (I tired it myself so I know it is comfortable) and a bamboo paddle, as well as some other trinkets! All of these items are made here in the USA by craftsmen that do beautiful work.
Now to use them on someone.........

Oh what a wonderful weekend in St Louis. BMSL. It was just the most fabulous thing. I feel renewed and accepted. My BDSM cup has been refilled.
I saw some fantastic presenters, most noteably Richard Stoutheart, Paradox, and Master Z and slave kiki. CM HURT was there as well, and while I did not go to her classes, I did get to see her in action in the dungeon, sadly I didnt get the opportunity to speak to her.
The energy in the space was amazing, I also met some great people and got some fantastic ideas.

Food for thought. is it the collar or the committment? and in order to have a committment, must there be a collar involved?

Beat me in St Louis is this weekend, I must say I am so exicted!! If you are going to BMSL please say hello.

so it is offical, I am not on pelvic rest anymore, I can resume mostly normal sexual activties.YAY ME!!!!!!

oh how I do wish there was a willing horny female victim, I mean particpant, that lived near me, that would come here. it is not about what she could do for me, but what I can do to her and for her. oh the fantasies in my head!
the price of gas makes this so impossible for most. I can go anywhere, I have the funding to do so, but I know many dont.? Maybe I am not agressive enough.

This link with some good tips were posted to a group I visit frequently; some of the tips I think are imporannt include:
? Don't expect a Dominant to solve all your problems in life.
? Be responsible for your own health, financial independence and happiness.
? If you aren't having fun, you are doing it wrong.
? Don't rush blindly into relationships because you are so eager to serve.
? It's ok to be alone. (or as I say freelance)

http://www.darkconnections.com/mentors/subhandbook.html

Instead of sitting on your butt on a saturday night and wishing you woud find someone, why not come out to a munch and meet real people! There is atleast one every weekend somewhere in your surrounding area!

Thought for the day:
you can teach someone the proper way to do things, it is their choice whether or not they acknowledge it and set an example by doing.
Case in point, having a submissve ready for play and playing full on with out any warm up, hitting as hard as you can with out any control. no warm up is good for punishment for a wrong doing, but not for play, unless it is a dare. "I dare you to hit me as hard as you can". at any rate I have seen people harmed with out any warm up, not just hurt but harmed. Would you have sex with out foreplay? I know I wouldnt, foreplay makes sex more exciting. Warm up makes SM more exciting! oh the anticipation.

Well I met the young lady, finally, there were a few logistics gliches, but finally. She was very pleasant, and seemed very nervous to me. I hope that I was able to put her somewhat at ease. that is why we met at the place she orginally suggested, because it is not good for a first meet to meet a young lady at a place where she would feel uneasy.
She will be joining me at the "dungeon" the weekend of the social. It should be nice, it will be a first taste of the social aspects of BDSM for her, as she has disclosed that the meeting she has had were private. It is my hope that the evening will be an enjoyable evening for her, and that she will want to go futher to become the person she desires to be.

Last night I was privy to a brief but enlightening conversation. Someone brought up collars of protection, and the question was, "What does a collar of protection, protect the submissive from? Id the submissive being protected from the potenial dangerous place that the Dominant took them too. If that is the case then why would a Dominant take a submissve to a dangerous place?" Or in my prespective is the Dominant protecting their own interests, by claiming that particular sunmissive is theirs by telling other Dominants, back off this one is mine, or perhaps protecting themselves from their own fears, or perhaps then decididng oh I really didnt like this submissve much they arent worthy of a relationship? hmmmmmm makes one wonder.
IS a training collar different than a collar of protection? yes, a training collar is where the submissive has the desire to be "trained" by that particular Dominant for a particular period of time either ntil a formal collar or release.

our society thinks that its looking for the next thing, but what its really looking for is truth, and every time it rings out it rises to the top. M Etheridge interview mag May 2005

"a slave is always a direct reflection of the Owner."

My mentor and very good friend told me this when I was reintroduced to public BDSM.

It is a true fact. Not only does this reflect in dress, but it is reflected in speech, manners, personal appearence and demeanor.

If a slave is dishonest, the dishonesty will reflect on their owner and lower their standing among peers.

If a slave is boastful it shows the slave does not have humility, and as such the owner the owner will appear as if they are better than others.

Remember this is a brotherhood/sisterhood lifestyle. When in public everyone of us represents the entire community.

?1 Corinthians 13

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8Love never fails.

People are so unrealiable and that is sad :(
I am glad I am not one of those people :)

I should be eating a piece of fruit, instead I want COOKIES!

I got this in an email today from a list I am on. This sums up so much. When I reach out to you out there in CM land and try to help, it is not always from my own gain but for yours. This person summed things up swimingly.
Krys wrote:"Mentorship is a great way to go for the new Dom or sub. But make sure it is someone that knows what they doing. ask around. If you stay within your
own group/community you usually will have the opportunity to learn from some really great people. "

I woke up this morning different, after a difficult night of sleep. I swear I was up atleast once an hour. Dispite this I feel different. Maybe it was because I spent the afternoon in the yard, or maybe becasue srping is finally here. I feel refreshed and renewed with a different outlook. I feel more content in myself with my life. It could be due to the fact it is also the end of the semester and I am completely done with school. I mean I was done in December, but because I had some extra money I thought I would attend this semester. Now there is no more money for school. I have to go back to being a real adult. I am also contemplating selling my house, my rental property, to pay the mortgage off of the place I am living in. Simplify things more. With spring comes purging and I did that last weekend and got rid of some of the "paper" that I had been saving for the last few years because I had to. I burned it in the brush pile, it watch it burn, it felt good.
It felt really good.

I have a meet up planned for Tuesday evening with a delightful young lady. She is looking to expand her horizons. It is my hope that we can connect on some level, that it will become mutual benefit. For someone of her age she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. So I must say I am excited to bring someone in to the fold of the greater leather community. When I was in my early 20's I wish I had the courage to find more than what I had been given exposure too. But then I wouldnt be where I am and I would be with who I am now, and I wouldnt be able to meet this young lady. So everything happens for a reason. :-)

It seems her lies still continue and have everyone buffalo'd. She claimed that this last saturday night was her first trip in to subspace, at her "sisters" birthday party. Which I know to be untrue as I watched her go in to subspace atleast twice, once being at the dungeon where we are members. Where a fine, loving and caring Dominant man brought her in to that space. What a dissrespect to him, somone who was kind enough to open his home and to feed and clothe her. I guess his kindness ment nothing to her. Yet she would constant run to him when she didnt like what I had to say or to complain about me.
Well I do know what goes around comes around and when those people find out how she really is, it will happen then. One cannot live in a house of lies forever. You must have a good foundation, and part of that good foundation must come within. And if one is lying constantly it can only go on for so long, you have to come up with more lies to cover those lies, because you cannot always remember the lies you told.
I wonder if the people she lived with for two years know of her current behavior?
hmmm C'est la vie, the cycle continues.

I went to a fantastic educational seminar that the club where I am a member. It was playing with strangers, and frankly more people should attend, I can think of several that I have chatted with online!
Not only was it geared towards those who have never played with someone before and how to do the pick up, but also as a form of edge play. I never thought about it before from an edge play perspective.

I am looking for an inshape youngish male submissive to come and do some yard work on my three acres. I have some trees that have fallen and need to be cut and piled. The day of the week is negociatable. In return you will be rewarded with a lovely scene, with in everyone's limits, and there are limits. Please have references and yes they will be checked.
and Ladies if you think this is something you would like to do as well, please apply with in. I am equal opportunity!

So for a while we had this chick staying with us, a lost puppy if you will. She stated she was bisexual and needed a place to live. Begged and begged for a collar right away, she did not get it. she lied and in a big way, we figured it out and shipped her away. she then lied to those people as well and is making up all kinds of stories on how they mistreated her and they were not how they portrayed themselves to be. The problem is they were like me REAL. They are who they portray themselves to be very FUN, very REAL, and very SERIOUS about this lifestyle. I warned her of this.

Now remember I stated she was bisexual? now her profile says she is straight, which add that to one more lie. My friend was right when she met her at a munch.I guess she when she realizes she can't break up a couple and have the man to her self, she decides they are mistreating her and misrepresenting themselves.

I thank my lucky stars she is not here and was only here for two weeks. she creates problems and then runs from them. the truth hurts and only YOU can confront the problems and resolve them. She is a seriously messed up individual. Very co-dependant and malingering. NO more lost puppies for me, I have learned my lesson that is for sure.
When the people she is with now learn of her little game, I am sure they will not be half as nice to her as I was. In fact I am fairly confident she will be HURT and not in the good way, and while that is not a good things, she brought it on herself.

I had a very delightful scene on saturday. The submissive I play with once a month, was brought to orgasmic nirvana via my floggers. the scene was slowly built up in layers and in the end, with eyes rolled back in the head, and body shaking, the zeinth was reached.
YUM!!!

You have to email me. I just downloaded a JAVA update the other day and CMs chat requests will not work with it.

are you ready for the challenge?
are you up for an adventure?
then come hither!

I am amused and also irritated at the same time. I wirte a young lady, just to simply strike up a conversation to see where it leads. I pressume that if a person does not state it, they are unnattached. I receive no reply nothing. so as a follow up I check their profile and low andbehold they are suddenly "collared". How amusing, is this something you forget to put in your profile? I don't really think so, but I do know alot of people here are flakes and fakes, and there are alot of men posing as a woman, with and with out pics. So it amuses me that she is suddenly collared. And it is someone that is one the site regularly.
so if you are genuinely female and are real and not a flake, and looking for that ever elusive person that can fullfill your burning desire, check out the profile, you might be surprised.

"That which yields is not always weak." - Jacqueline Carey -- Kushiel's Dart

quote of the day from a wise Master I know, " You have to know a person in order to understand them". want to get to know me?

ah alas I am for titillating conversation only it seems. eventually that right person will come along that will beg me to bestowe what all the realm as to offer and more, instead of the mindless chatter of "what are you going to do to me?" I have been getting lately! GRRRR!

I read this in an article today "Submission is an act of the will. One decides to submit or not"...... are you willing?

I did it. I graduated. I am so relieved. now I can focus on other fun things. YAY!!!!

For my general knowledge and entertainment I decided to scan Male Dom profiles. I am floored at the ones that just think because someone is submissive or slave they should just obey and take abuse and humilation. what happened to the human element? you know that we are all humans first, beams of love and light. who gave these guys the credentials to behave this way and to think they are master of anything.
though there are a couple of Doms out there who seem real genuine and I checked out one today he seemed cool, a very rare gem of a guy, I hope he find his permanent slave.

So over the weekend was excellent, the whole event was incredible!!!! I got slightly violetwanded, the thing is the guy, the other volunteer from the group, I wanted to exchange information with him. He was Dr _____ on this name tag. I looked on here and on another site, maybe he will find me. I know he said he had like 13 years exp and lives somewhere in central/southern illinois. and when at breakfast this morning I wasnt sure if it was him, so DR, if you out there message me, I would like to connect.

I am going to SPANKSGIVING in ST Louis next month, anyone else going? If you are please say hello if you see me! Also if you ask nicely I might play with you.

an UPDATE.....
so I have been doing some thinking, and what I need is a young male, willing to do some tasks for me. I have some work outside and inside that needs to be done and for their good work, they will be rewarded. How they will be rewarded is based on what is negociated. I am open to suggestion as I have always considered myself fair and equitable.
So come do some simple tasks an reap the reward. as bad boys, and good boys always get rewarded for a job well done.

I know some of you think my profile is a bit over the top. well it was designed to be that way. it grabs peoples attention, it what an ideal situation might be.
Remember.....
Everything is Negotiable!!!

So I embarked on a new adventure the last three weekends. it has been interesting. I have done some things I never thought I would do. I never knew cbt could be such fun. admittedly the person I was doing it to was guiding me all the way, he's such a good sport and alot of fun as a play partner. It is a good and productive friendship. now if I could only find a slave girl for regular play and other types of participation.

WOW what a day!!!!
went to IML and did some shopping, looked at the eye candy.....
so now i have new toys and i am looking for someone to try them out on.... YUM!
could it be you?

Human behavior is just fascinating..... i was talking to this guy who was a bottom, and we were all set up to have a lunch date. a mostly harmless affair. on the morning we were supposed to have lunch, i got an email stating that work called and he would have to work. the funny thing was the email was just before 10 am and he read my response around 4pm. given the nature of his work, he wasnt called in, he was home, alone.... doing what ever. he was afraid to engage in real time adult conversation and activites.
again human behavior is just fascinating....

i have figured some of these people out.... they are not really comfortable, confident or happy with who they are. i was talking to this girl, a couple months ago,who claimed she was bisexual, but really she wanted a guy and not a girl. and now she has a guy, yet still is bisexual... i really thought we were hittingit off, i gave her my number she gave me hers, she was the one with the less flexible schedule, 1 full time and 1 part time job, plus fulltime school, so i told her to call me as i didnt want to intrude while she was working or at school. its a common courtesey i think. but why was it so hard for her to be honest? why did she lead me to believe that she was interested in a woman?
is it the thrill of the hunt? theflattery or getting an email? or maybe because i am availible to people that it weirds them out. admittedly i have a pretty open schedule because i chose to have it that way. i dont have a regular job like most people, its my choice not to live my life that way. watching my mom and the other strong women in my family work themseleves to death, i decided that i was not going to that. i am also living my life with out depending on others for living. i am comfortable, i have a nice house, income and there fore can afford to do what i want, and having people around is a compliment in my life.
i am greatful for the people that are around and they know who they are, or atleast i hope they do!
and to those that have contacted me recently, keep talking!!!

just wondering.......
there are alot of people on collar me, especially in my area, and i often wonder why, i don't see them at the munches, i dont see them in the play spaces, or at the events. dont get me wrong there are some that do show up and thats really cool that they are comfortable enough with themselves to come out and be social.

I strongly feel if someone emails you, alteast have the courtsey to say, no thank you or im not itnerested. and if you are involved with someone already, put that in your profile. recently i contacted a somepeople, and they did not say a thing. thats just rude. its like picking up the telephone when someone phones and not saying anythig other than yeah i am here. a simple polite no thank you is appropraite. additonally i email another person, her profile does not state anything other than she is looking for a couple. when i emailed her, after shes been on the site a mere 2 days, shes all like, well i have already meet at couple i am conversing with. heck put it in a journal entry or something. though in her defense she atleast responded. i guess what i think it people should have more follow through. to the nice people that have taken time out of thier day to respond and chat honestly, thank you so much, you're the kind of people we want to interact with.

from tragedy to happiness and back again. isn't that the way life goes?

on a differnt note:
training someone has its rewards, but when the training is done they move on, and thats sad. all that time and energy spent for someone else.
i have found a few submissives that do not understand the give and take nature of D/s, and SM. you can do something that a submissive may get pleasure out of and still get your own pleasure from doing it. if it feels good do it! just do it safely.

and so it seems we have an oppening here, any takers?

things are funny, i got an email from someone, who is relatively new to collar me, 3 mos according to the profile they have, and the message they sent was a reworded replica of what i had wirtten in my previous journal entry. they even went on to mention that i sounded jaded, which i had put in the entry. im not jaded just a realist. if they would have actually read the entry out loud, and a few times, they would have understood what i was saying. so thank you providing me with entertainment. the fun part of this is that i do not hide who i am in public, im the same on here as when i am out a the munch, dungeon, and events. my partner and i choose to live this lifestyle, so it does carry over in to vanilla lif, just on a more toned down level, but i am still the level headed, outspoken, opinioned person my mother taught me to be. If i see something a want to comment on, i will. if i see injustice, i will fight for the good cause, fight the good fight.
my point was about people looking for "frinds only", is that no one is just looking for friends. we are always looking for someone, we just may not know it. i went to a local dungeon, to hang out with the friends i made there and at the munches, play a bit wih those same friends, little did i know, after 9 months of hanging out, i found my current partner. was i looking? not exactly, but i wasnt opposed to the idea of someone coming in to my life either. i guess i look at people a little deeper than "friends only", be my aquaintance", i dont mind being intimate with my friends, physically or emotionally.
people need to have an open mind, because if one doesnt have an open mind, then what are they doing in an environment such as this? what is one persons kink, may not be anothers. but i think so often that everyone thinks this is just like everything else in society, people must fit in tiny boxes, they must act a certain way, THIER WAY! BAH, i say to that, act how you want to act, do what you want to do, but be kind, do not harm, practice ettiquette, and have an open mind. example: i am NOT in to needle play, but i have friends who like it, they can like it, they can do it, but the sensation on the needle in my skin i do not like, the ensuing blood i do not like, therefore it is not my kink, but they can do it to themselves all they want. but i do have an open mind, and tired it, ewwww.
btw did you remember im opinionated?
maybe someone will email next and tell me that.
on a side note, the person that emailed me was female, straight, she said she was browsing profiles. so a straight female was browsing profiles of bisexual swtich couples, hmmm go figure!

ok i think i have missed something.......
i was flipping through profiles this morning and this is what i dont understand.......
the scores of people most women sub/slaves, who are just looking for friends. i mean come on why would you come to a "dating/hook up" site just looking for friends. you want friends, join a yahoo group, go to a munch/slosh, join a club. those are the best places to go to make friends and learn.
there are just to many submissive women that are ready to stab another submissive woman in the back, and many dominant men who are going to use women. im equal oppertunity. you can only truely learn about another person while sitting face to face and reading thier expressions. even talking on the phone you can gain alot of knowledge about someone, but sitting down face to face you can learn so much more, not only about the other person, but if the have BDSM knowledge you can get it so much better.
this comes from personal expierence and observation.
hmmmm maybe one day i'll understand these people who are just here to "make friends" .
yes i know i sound jaded and thats not what i m getting at. the fact is coming to a dating ite to look for just friends is rather naive.

maybe i need to clear some things up. i am a bisexual slave who is very sadistic, yes i get off on others peoples torment. and He is a straight Dominant, PERIOD!

"look deeper"

oh where, oh where has the little subbie gone...
oh where, oh where can she be?

oh well, got to find a new victim, i mean willing particpant

as you can see i get over it quick

ok i am still on my poly rant. there is this profile i saw and this girl atually stated shes married, has a master seperate from her husband and that her and master are looking for other submissive for play and frolic etc. yet when reading through her LIMITS, it states under hard limits, poly. CLEARLY SHE DOESNT GET IT!!!!

people on here just crack me up. i see all these profiles, "I cant do poly", " I wont do poly, i tried it once". well i am here to say, " I CAN'T DO MONOGAMY, i tried it once. well i really tried monogamy more than once, and well it doesnt work. i think if people were more open and honest with each other, there would be less divorces, less children with fighting mommies and daddies, and more happy people. loving more than one person does require that not only you be honest with your partners, but you be honest with yourself.
hope everyone is having a good day.

To speak positively of obedience today is be profoundly countercultural. The valid suspicion of talk about obedience is grounded in the experience of authoritarianisms, both past and present. Obedience is confused with "blind obedience," which is normally odious. Obedience is confused with conformity, with going along, with asking no questions. But obedience really means responsiveness; it is related to the Latin audire, to hear, to listen, to respond appropriately. Obedience is not the surrender of responsibility but the acceptance of responsibility for what we respond to and how.

Richard John Neuhaus

i find that there are so many people willing to jump in to a permanent relationship so quickly. there are so many profiles of people, not only here but other sites, looking for 24/7. dont people date anymore? even in the BDSM realm? perplexing!!!! come on people just go out on a date, enjoy a single scene with someone at a local dungeon. no one ever said you had to take your clothes off.
that another thing tooo... people are so willing to jump in to 24/7 yet arent willing to do a scene in a dungeon......

and on another note, oh to be 25 again or around that age..........

im confused, i saw a profile for this woman, and shes submissive, bi, looking for dominant men or women, yet isnt poly. could it be she really doesnt know all the possibilities that a poly or non-monogarmy realtionship can offer?

never let geography get in the way of that which you desire most

why is it so many people are not willing to try new things? i mean if you havent tried something how do you know that you really wont like it? i find that one of the fundemental things about being in the realm is that there is much fun and adventure to be gotten, and in order to do that one must try new things. but then i guess after 8 years its difficult to find new things but not new situations. progression and evolution..........
while it is ok to have a good sense of what you want its also key to have an OPEN MIND!!!

all information is current. this is just an addendum. we are currently looking for a play partner, a MASOCHIST, or atleast someone to have the kinks worked out on them, if you will.
this person at a minimum should be in to playing in public or private, flogging, paddling, canes, you know the usual (and sometimes the unusual). serious, willing, and able; new or veteran; submissive/slave/switch; females and T-girls will be considered. we offer fun, frolic and other delights with a stable, intelligent, employed poly M/s couple and yes we have references. local to Chicago and northern Indiana, se Wisconsin a plus, but other geographic areas welcome to inquire.

happily Owned as of 01/23/05
friendly females encouarged to chat with me though. you can never have too many female friendlies.

Veldarin Male Dominant, 39, Reynoldsburg, Ohio	VellaRusalka Female Submissive, 29, LA, California	velcrotroll Male Switch, 43, manchester	velcrokitty Female Submissive, 27, Sydney
vella Female Submissive, 29, arlington, Texas	vellasmentored Female Submissive, 33, sandhills, North Carolina	VelcroSlaveKit Male Submissive, 23	Velleity Female Submissive, 34, Near Philadelphia, New Jersey
VelcroMaster Dominant Couple, 49, Renton, Washington	Velsin Male Switch, 20, Albuquerque, New Mexico	VelvtKnght Male Dominant, 55, Western, New York	Velifer Male Dominant, 41, Columbus, Ohio

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