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funnow54
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SirLion01
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jerzycop
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Nodoubt
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Gentlegent
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AlphaWolf777
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DaddyRussell44
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If we have not even met for coffee don't assume you have some kind of rights over me just because we have exchanged a few emails. Don't order me to do homework or give me out punishments. You don't own me and have no rights over me. Hell if we have met for coffee you still have no rights over me. It takes a relationship and commitment from all parties not just a deluded desire on your part to make me clean your kitchen and suck your cock and bark like a dog to make me your property.
Was that too rude? Do you think I need to be punished for it? Then dial 1 800 stab yourself in the balls
I was once told that you are not an adult until you have raised a child, written a book and built a house.
Never thought I would ever be able to satisfy the last one but this summer I have learned to build (ok rebuild) a house. 40 year old house needing tlc and I am thinking after all this work rebuild is as good as building one from scratch.
Been thinking while using my crow bar to pull facia off my house about what kind of a Man I wish I had in my life and I am getting closer to figuring this out. Redneck with all the toys springs to mind. Someone to go hunting and 4x4ing and get all dirty with. A Man who would be able to appreciate all of me.... not just the sex stuff or the dom/sub stuff but the fact I can wield a gas powered framing hammer 30 ft in the air. (ok that is most likely not what they are called, but I can use it so don't need to know how to say it! *grin*)
Just remember nobody gets out alive but we can leave behind beauty and wisdom and have one hell of a time while we are here.
I have seen the imperfectness of people on this site and I have also seen the kindness. I am a nice person with good ethics and code of honor, I refuse to grow a thick indifferent skin, so instead I have let my heart grow bigger at the kindness of those who have been emailing with kindness and concern.
Life is full and fun, kink is not the be all or end all to life it is just the chocolate sprinkles on the top. No one can live on chocolate sprinkles alone.
I enjoy spending time at home, excellent cook and baker. Love learning new styles of cooking
I have a passion for the outdoors, hiking, camping, fishing, boating, exploring. Love the woods. I am wanting to learn to hunt. A Master who hunts is an important quality to me.
I appreciate a good sense of humor as mine is a tad twisted and dark if you can't laugh at yourself you are most likely not going to like me laughing at you, lol.
My ideal day would be one spent hunting with Master and friends, camping out in the middle of nowhere. Spending the evening bbq'ing meat and planning what I would adorn myself with to dance around the fire under the stars for the pleasure of Master. Then curled up safe at Masters boots the crackling of the fire surrounding me and the light of the stars overhead, quiet and comfortable in Masters company before I curl up next to him in the tent to sleep in his arms sore from his use.
Gardening is something I enjoy, something about the smell and feel of fresh overturned soil that makes me smile. I like to push my bare toes into cold soil, perhaps I have farmers blood in me, I have never lived on a farm but think I would enjoy it immensely.
Swinging a hammer, using a crow bar and seeing a plan come together has swelled me with pride this summer.
I love to sew, especially costumes. Halloween is my favorite time of year. I saw a pic of a naughty goth nun and want to recreate that outfit and I just picked up some tartan so I can make a school girl skirt.
I love ice hockey, my team is doing fantastic and going to the next round of the playoffs. I am so excited!! We play tomorrow. During playoff season I have to admit I am very distracted with one of my great loves, I know it is my Dad's fault for giving me a passion for the game. I am so sad, I cried, my team is out of the playoffs.
If your looking for me I sometimes hang out in the chat rooms here on this site.
I have always had a fantasy about being in a big cage, like a big birdcage.. I know weird, lol. Just saw miley cyrus's new video as a big bird in a cage, made me flush and grin. what a naughty girl! if her daddy had any idea! lol
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I was reading my mail today and paused and realized something I really should have known all along that many Doms on this site are very poetic at heart. I have noticed that the subs, no matter how strong and realistic about BD they still in their hearts have a romantic view of the lifestyle. Today I realized that many of the Doms do too. I read one of my messages and wished to share what iI replied to him as it shows the light bulb that went off with me today.
"the lowermainland only had 6 hours of snow and then rained like hell. I have this stupid covering over the back stairs that was put in as corrigated plastic crap and every 18 months I have to replace it and it is up high and I hate doing it. but I stapled a tarp on it in the summer and now that is shredded and everything is pouring in water on the deck and into the storage under the deck and most likely rotting one wall of my garage. *sigh* it never ends and I am not strong enough to do it alone. I was feeling overwhelmed and lonely and your words made me feel less isolated. I am not the only one on the planet who feels there is a missing piece in their life."
Until I typed it I had realized that one of my jigsaw pieces is missing. |
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Been a very short summer. Came close a couple of times to actually going out and meeting Doms from the site but something always happened to interfere. Happy with myself and where I am in life.
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still working so hard on the property before the rainy season. though the physical nature of the work is so satisfying and calming, like meditation. but it does give me time to think while I work with my hands, time to day dream..... if I was to run a personal ad right now it would start with..."redneck with all the toys wanted to play with and learn with.. and just get away into the woods with and let the stress of life disappear while we camp and laugh and hike and dig the truck out of the mud together. pro-hunting mind set and high sex drive mandatory. mmmm, think it still needs a lot of work. will contemplate while up a 30 foot ladder waving a skill saw over my head tomorrow.
I hope everyone conquers at least one fear this week. *grin*
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work sent me off for the last few weeks. would have been nice to have some warning but I am pretty laid back and work knows it. Hey, at least I now know what raw seal meat tastes like!!! I have learned so much about isolated cultures in the last month, and apologized till hoarse about my ignorance of indigenous cultures, my tongue is tired. next year when they send me on that tiny plane to every backwoods country community they can think up I will be so better prepared.
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I have been feeling lost for over a year now. I was a wonderful slave to my Master, he passed away. I have been freerange slave for so long and chatting with subs who have so much power and strength, freedom to define a relationship. I did not like what I was becoming so re-entered Gor. A Gorean home has me collared and they are helping me get back to who I really am, a slave. I will no longer be roaming about free to do what every I want. If you wish to speak to me I collared to Koraban_Kaverns in b.com I wish everyone the best and am enjoying my training and assistance to improve my creative writing. There is so much love and encouragement to improve a person all the time. I am going to take up belly dancing again, and have been much stricter on this sluts diet and exercise. I am so happy to be kneeling and serving again.
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I have been in a bit of a funk for the last few days. Interesting how just talking to someone, about nothing at all, just chatting can pull a girl out of her funk. Thank you for that, it really helped.
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I have been chatting around these parts for a while. Used to mainly keep to the forums and found them very helpful full of interesting topics and solid solutions to problems. Then I found the chat rooms and met lots of interesting people and it is always nice no matter what time of night or day to be able to log on and make contact with another human being. Just wanted to say thank you to the whole chatter community for just being there to give me human contact from all around the world even when I am home and wide awake in the middle of the night.
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Thank you for everyone's support you have no idea how much it means. Saw the doc again today and he said the blood in my urine will be gone by tomorrow. The kidney punches he gave me, the Doc said, were minor compared to what could have happened. I admit the bright red bloody urine was very scary but it is barely pink now and the doc says I am good.
Through all this I learned something but not what anyone would expect. I learned that just because friends are on line does not mean you can discount them. My on line friends were more supportive by 2 million times than my real life friends. I have learned to treat my on line friends more precious.
ok I am ending this as I am getting all mushy
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feeling very bitter about finding a real life collar, when I talk to potential masters/doms about this they turn out to be not what they claim to be. I have found them to wish to push a period of time where they don't owe me any allegiance or loyalty or even basic humanity and politeness. I did not realize just how bitter about this till chatting in a room about the topic of slaves earning their collars. from what I have seen this earning period is a time a master/slave can do whatever the hell they like to her and anyone else they choose to while I am supposed to be this fully trained ideal fuck puppet slave for them and at the end of said period they just say it did not work out. nice way to get their booty from new girls in a serial kind of way. Just so you know I have not been stupid enough to fall for it but I am really really tired of hearing men tell me to be obedient and good and do what they want or they wont consider me. when do we subs get to put the masters and doms in a consideration position where we are considering them?
another thing that is bothering me is men asking for my yahoo, home phone number and what I do for a living all in the first conversation. I just started giving the yahoo out to anyone who asked cause I never use the thing anyway. they would come back to collar me demanding me to go on yahoo and add them as my friend, do the words bite me mean anything to you?
mmmhhhh my rant is over
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life can be complicated so I try to simplify things.
Beer is good, always dance when you have the opportunity, never forget where you are from and don't let your past negatively affect your present.
All the shit in your past look at it, explore it, try to understand it and then just get the fuck over it. Yes let it go, get the fuck over it. This is your life so no matter how bad the past, no matter who or how you were hurt, accept in and get over it, Promise yourself you are in control of your own destiny, Everyday you get up and make a choice, to have a great day, to be productive, to help someone less fortunate, to express your love to all you love, or drink, do drugs, hook, cheat on your taxes, bully someone, gorge yourself on food all day, not get off the couch, don't train, there are lots of negative and positive things about choices, but always remember you get up everyday and you make those choices so don't blame someone else for them or say you are helpless cause you are not, next time you are about to do something that you know you should not be such as abuse of substances, you are making the choice.
Hug your loved ones everyday, spank your inner moppet, Play like you are still just a kid, find things you enjoy and put some effort into it them, forgive yourself, when that ugly guilt and shame raise there ugly head.... forgive yourself for all of it and step forward.
Own a pet and love it like it is one of your children because taking care of a pet is selfless it is all about the pet.... makes a person not focus on their needs, and wants but just what is good for the pet. Dogs in particular are great for this.
I love the concept from the movie pay it forward, I whole heartedly support the notion of pay it forward, start today do something nice for someone for no reason at all.
For women when you are feeling down give yourself a facial and apply make. It lifts the spirits. Ok I am officially rambling so I will stop here. Be well all.
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I have been going to a lot of olympic events and having a blast meeting people from all around the world. I am exhausted but will survive. So glad I made the commitment to attend a lot of events. GO CANADA!!!
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I am in rags and ashes of the shamed. I miss chatting with friends on line and one woman I totally respected and admired wants nothing to do with me and I will always regret that.
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well got caught in chat with a pic of a blonde on my profile that was not me. everyone is rather pissed at me. oops, sorry. I put it on because she was beautiful and things just got out of hand, loved the attention and so I lied it was me. I am very sorry for being so weak. Guess no one wants to talk to me now. I guess I am now one of the trolls like all the others. Bye I will miss you guys
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I guess I came off more down and self centered than I meant to in my last entry. I have a great life and I truly believe that people create there own existence. Everyday we get to make choices that are positive or negative in their impact on ourselves and others. I help people around me, I don't turn a blind eye and put myself out to do it and don't mind. I have so many dreams and hobbies and a demanding career. I had been kicking myself a bit about not having that one part of the pie, a wonderful Master and I have chosen not to kick myself for it. I don't have to have the fairytale romantic ending, I am doing just fine. Again, there are some on CM that impress me. Thank you for all your concerned messages from all you wonderful strangers. People keep going on and on about fakes on here and then I get a bunch of emails from strangers trying to make me feel better. *huggs*
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I have come to terms with something I have been pushing out of my consciousness for a while now. I do not get a happy ending, not everyone does. I am not jealous but happy for those that do. I now just have to work through that loss like any other loss. I am strong like an amazon and will be fine. I will feel the pain, grieve the loss and find my niche in life. I think it is time to make a bucket list as well. New year new beginning and the time to heal old wounds. I wish everyone the best for the new year.
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I love this time of year, a new year and new opportunities to explore and achieve new and old dreams. Still single, good thing I love my own company and can still get me off better than anyone else. LOL.
Took some time off the internet again, I find it a good pattern of behavior for me to walk away from cyber space on a regular basis.
Still working on my new years resolutions but there are 52 weeks in the year so I have plenty of time to sort that out.
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I know you are going to laugh, girls. My focus right now it to increase my exercise and decrease my caloric intake. Since my car accident I have put on the pounds, I am up at 190lbs and feel so unhealthy this is the largest I have ever been. My plan is slow and steady and the change the lifestyle not make radical unsustainable fad changes to my diet and exercise. So it is vedgies till my jaw hurts and water, water, water. wish me luck.
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I have finished with my childish fit of anger and am looking at the positives of the situation. I actually thought some of the people I have spoken with over the years were my friends, that is why it hurt so much to be slammed by them. I know this is all just cyber and in the large scale of the world does not mean anything. But, I have also met a lot of wonderful people through the web site and have learned a lot about human nature and myself. I have always been a bit of an anthropologist at heart. I am meeting a friend this weekend and a Master this weekend. It will be fun we are having diner and in the spirit of Halloween having a seance, should be fun. Be well.
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well I had the weirdest experience today on this site. people have warned me and told me to be careful making friends on this site. I did not listen and made friends in one of the chatrooms and tonight their humanity was disapointing. I should have listened to the warnings. I did not do or say anything wrong that I am aware of. The chatters and ops I thought were my friends would not tell me what I did or said to offend them they dismissed me and told me to shut up and treated me like dirt, like a troll. I am a nice person and I do not want to become bitter and mean. Even writing this I feel very childish and stupid. I am having a temper tantrum and I am aware of it. But since they won't talk to me and I have no outlet in my real life for this kind of hurt I am writing it here hoping it will make me feel better.
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Being a very proactive kind of person I did a tough thing today. I have been feeling kind of scattered and lost lately. I did a hard thing to day and asked one of the Masters on this site to help me. I have set some goals for myself in just about every aspect of my life. I have been pretty good at this kind of positive lifechanging strategy but was not having much luck lately. So, when a Master noticed my lost little puppy and sexual needful heat he offered some support so I could get centred again. He is a wonderful Man and good friend. I asked him for some help. I asked him if I could turn to him for advice and to be held accountable for reaching these goals I have set for myself.
I already feel more energized and focused. I am a slave, I am a pleaser. I needed to have someone to strive to please to truly put the bounce back in my step.
Being who he is he has made me agree to some conditions total honesty at all times, regular check in's on my progress and punishment as he see's fit for my failures. He has also said he will work out a reward system as well. Because we all know you cannot train a puppy by hitting it with a newspaper only, a puppy/slave needs positive attention and comfort. To truly be trained.
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Playoff hockey has again taken over my life. It made me think that a Master/Dom would have to be a big hockey fan for a relationship to truly work, or there will be some tensions during hockey season with my attentions divided.
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I have been learning more about Masters and Doms these past weeks. For every thought or idea of what a Dom or Master is there is a contradicting thought or idea. I have been finding Daddy Dom/Masters very appealing these days. They bring out a side of myself I was not aware existed. A silly childish side that seeks comfort and approval from them. More than that, there is a stimulation of a deeper baser desire to be loved and protected and guided and rewarded and on the flip side chastised and spanked.
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well I am totally confused. I open up and talk to a few Men and then get slapped for it one right after the other. How come if I speak in pm once or twice with a man suddenly I can no longer talk to anyone else without them all having a hissy fit?
Confused, hurt and feeling stupid.
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I have been reading the message boards and talking with people in chat and via cm mail. I am still reassured by the quality of people who frequent cm.
I am always trying to learn something new. Lately it has been archery. I really love it! I am getting stronger and lately people keep commenting on my perfect posture, LOL.
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I am not a passive door mat nor a hollow shell of a human needing someone to give me purpose. Guidance and caring and a firm hand yes. I do have a need to serve, and adore a Master. Would like one Master not a whole bunch of them and/or their wives, slaves, lovers co-doms, kids and/or pets. (don't ask me how I came up with that list. It still gives me the hebee geebies when I think of some of the mail I have received)
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