uncertainlyizzy

How do I always end up feeling like the bad guy? How do I always end up being the one holding them while they cry and talking about killing themselves? They're the one that wants another woman over me. Shouldn't I be throwing shit or putting their stuff on the lawn and lighting it on fire? Why don't I get to be the one to cry when they cheat on me and leave? Ugh. I'm not the bad guy. I'm not going to feel guilty about saying no they can't keep fucking me because the girl they want is states away. How did I manage to do this twice with two so completely different men?

So, D loves me but isn't IN love with me and is exchanging texts with old gfs. I now have to figure out how I'm going to get by with less money coming into the house, in the middle of no where knowing no one, and not having the least clue how to live the country-life bullshit I've stumbled into. And I don't see anyway to do any of that. Seriously. Jeezus fuck.

You use to be much more muchier...you've lost your muchness.  - The Hatter

I wish I had more muchness. Or maybe the oomph to be muchier despite my lagging muchness. Tim Burton films are weirdly touching sometimes. Anyone have some spare muchness I could borrow?

You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret...all the best people are.  - Alice

Does anyone know how to set up the chats through mirc instead of the website? I have mirc but I don't know the information to put in to get on the chats. Any help at all would be seriously appreciated. I'm a computer idiot most of the time. Thank you!

I'm having a rough week. We're moving on Monday. I'm emotionally imploding. I can't get the chat on this site to work for me. My chat from another site is having a dramapalooza. D is working 7 days a week. I have no friends to reach out to. *sigh* I'm stoned and pondering running screaming into the night if I can't get a small slice of peace somewhere inside my little world. *stomps her feet*

Are there any local girl-types out there who would like to be friends? I don't have 'net at my own house right now so I'm hard to get online except during the day but I'd be happy to text or talk on the phone too. I'm in desperate need of friends at the moment and girl-type friends most of all. Friends that are in the Sanford and surrounding areas would be a serious blessing because the only people I'm going to know down there are D's family. Not that I don't like them. They're great people. But I need my own little set of friends and stuff. I'm fun to talk to I swear! lol :)

It's amazing how just a few words can effect you. It's amazing just how much a simple sound can turn you on. Maybe I'm just easy lol But "I like it". :)

Ok, so I found a place to live. Will officially be living in Sanford as of June 1st. Go team me! It's up the road from my boyfriends aunt. IE 4 trailers up. But it was low-hassle and fit our budget and it's nice so I'll take it. Will be putting down the deposit to hold it as soon as I can get up with the man renting it to us. That sets down a serious worry I was having. Boyfriend won't be moving in. He'll just be visiting 25 out of 30 nights of the month and storing most of his shit at our place lmao. :)