twistedkytten

I read the greatest profile... apparently, if you happen to look at your whos viewing and see this profile, you are supposed to ... Know what... never mind.. I'm bored of it already.. However, if said person should happen upon this entry, I must say... Dude!?? really? get over yourself... I bet I'd have you ass up begging for something bigger within oh I'll be generous... and give you an hour.. bitch, LOL

1/24/11

Wow! I haven't been here is a very long time... What can I say, I have been busy.. I miss a few key people, and find myself needing to reconnect...

Which of you worms wanna mow my yards? Hmmm..  Be quick about getting my attention and just maybe I wil choose you.
Go ahead leave me hate mail, I love it! I understand it may very well be all that keeps you warm this night.
 *grins happily* *sighs deeply* muuch better.


Okay! damn bitches at the bottom of this page.. in the brightly colored attention grabbing flashing box... faces FULL of cock... Grrr ... *sniffles and whimpers* not fair.. Oh well waste away dear eager one, and this... wasn't in the brochure.

I was looking over my profile... my journal to be more specific... and I often times shock the ---- out of myself... the things I tell you people!..
Not really my normal genre of music... but there is a line this song -my favorite at the moment ... "I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick" by Katy Perry.
There you have it.

In each and every encounter we have with another living thing.. there is something we can learn, my trouble is sticking around long enough to find it... 

Not that I am whinning or seeking sympathy here but the truth is... I was never wanted as a child... from the age of 5 till 17 almost 18 I went through 33 foster homes and 2 failed adoptions.. No matter how much shrink time you get.. there are scars.. No matter how strong I pretend to be... I am ... the reality is ... there are pieces of me that are broken.. and missing. There are vital bits that we as babies and small children must get when we are infants.. from being held... from the care of those that love ... there are things that toddlers learn... not neccessarily the physical.. but unspoken things things understood by the inner self... most unnoticed by our conscious self but seen and heard none the less... I ramble here.. whatever it is ... I missed it .. I missed alot of it... and then to be shuffled around so much ... the new mom and dad assume you know how to do something.. because at your age you absolutely should.. but guess what.... you don't... not that it is your fault.. but they still make you feel as if you fucked up.. as if that makes you somehow .... more of a problem.. more work.. more than your worth maybe.. worth more than that little check they get for dealing with you every month... so then.. they start coming up with ways for you to make it more worthwhile.... the mom.. suddenly has a new kitchen bitch.. and the father... well, lets just say that you learn to find ways whenever possible to pass through life as quietly as you can in the hopes that if they don't see you... they'll forget about you... at least that is what you pray for every night .. while all other little girls are dreamimg of ponies and what have you.. 

So.. you learn not to draw attention to yourself... ways to make yourself even more invisible.. convincing yourself that it is...okay.. Here is what you figure out.. Your worth/value is based on what you do for others... not who you are, assuming that there is someone, something left  in the shell.. hating the shell because it is dirty, disgusting.. convincing yourself that you don't want anything because it is better than constantly feeling like your not worth anything ... keeping people at arms length because you fear what they might want.. what could they want? you have little if anything to offer... except the shell... and sooner or later... that's what they want.. some little piece of it... so go ahead.. I don't think I am in there anyways.

What happens though... when you find someone you want????? I never learned what to do from here... do you want it bad enough to try anyway? to bumble through clumsily probably making a fool of yourself... does he like you? could it be possible.. why?? how??

I will never know... because I am not brave enough.

Wait! please, before you begin to read, and leave comment.. I am aware of the errors within this entry, I promise, I will fix them .... right after I wake up tomo-well, later today. thank you for your patience, and understanding. ** we now return you to your regularly schedules program, already in progress**



Consider how my day began.

  A realization that the carefully guarded fear we silently harbored had -as we thought it would, come to be.

 Now that in itself was not enough for what I had sworn would come to pass if this thing we watched and waited for did as so easily predicted.

 The catalyst was the fact that absolutely every word ever spoken was now inconceivably suspicious

 Which action is the more responsible, most respectful for those that watched to take?

One of them watched as sadness flowed from within her; for the potential loss, no matter how

great it might be, for she knew now what had to be. The other, struggled to stay her hand and the protective nature of her heart as she too realized what was coming next. They knew theirs would not be an easy path. But such has it always been the way with those that choose integrity, honoring those near to them with strength of truth in words, thoughts and in their everyday actions and interactions with those in and out of that which  

was supposed to be a sacred coming together.

There was hope, in the beginning,   and acceptance, tempered with a willing openness to finally be a part of something so much greater than would ever be if alone or segregated. There was a sincere desire, for this to not only work, but we needed it trusting that it was real, and that it was indeed ours. It was for Him but, in many ways, for them as well because they too could see and feel the

possibilities of his vision. They longed for it. But they stood now, dispirited and seeing with certainty that which others somehow could not. Her premeditated half-truths enclosed within subject matter certain to bring about the shielding of the Holder.

 Driven by a need to feel and make all others feel her advantage   gained only by a very deceptive process of further fiction. safe in place a outside its own so that it might foster the  diffidence Understood for the strength it took in the struggle to push further down the .....

not yet finished.. more to follow soon...

  I have come to learn, that when we react hard and hot, with emotions, loosing control of them, often times, the result is not a favorable one. 
 Essentually, allowing emotion to rule means our control of the situation is lost.
 Absolutely! I get angry, just as I get happy. I make an effort.. pretty concentrated I must admit to be aware of myself, and what goes on in my head, and adjust accordingly. Am I always successful.. I wish! LOL
 I hope everyone is having a blast at KinkFest I hope my friends remember to take pictures, I always miss the really good stuff! LOL

Have a lovely day!!

i hope this day finds You and yours well .. xoxox ** on a side note, i try to thank those that take the time to visit my profile.. as of late however, for some reason i have been unable... so thank Y/you all very much.

Perhaps my relationship is not how you think it should be... (how dare you make assumptions based on my journal here) I know behind your facade of concern and worry for my well-being I see plainly your alterior motives... and here I bet you thought you were being sneaky... and slick... Remember... just because I do not seem to notice, or call you out does not mean I don't see it.. You fools!

Have you ever experienced an ache so deep from within, it feels as though it is woven into every last fiber of your entire being?

Have you ever wanted something so much that it was maddening?

Have you ever truly known the pain of want? the incredible urgency as if not easing this terribly erotic energy inside you RIGHT NOW made it seem as though you couldn't breathe? If only to feel its whisper against flesh taut with need bare, as if it were a canvas.. begging for one more taste.. pleading ...

Please, if for just a moment of eternity, lend to me your heart and soul, so that I might learn from it, touch it allow mine to taste yours.. so that I might learn to feel.

I find that my time nears.. I am no longer capable of the strength I once could count on. I wish I could name this thing that has brought me down.. I wish I could tell it how I tried, not that it cares, not that is feels. I feel lost in this place, it is here, at this moment I know that I'm undone a trifle more than a simple vessel in which the void now dwells, boundless within my beautifully intimate purgatory.


The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.....and I have made it my choice... what few choices we truly have when you consider all that lies within the seemingly simple task of making a choice.. left, or was it right.. damnit! I wish I had written the directions down on post-it notes and stuck them to the steering wheel!!

This brings me to the end of a day I wish I'd done more with.. made a difference somewhere, sure, I allowed a woman in a minivan to take her turn when clearly it was my turn... was that my good deed for the day? oddly, society in its glory and greatness would undoubtedly say it's so.. does anyone else find that even the slightest bit sad? For being what is supposed to be a higher race of beings..we sure are stuck in the mud.


May you all sleep well, and dream sweetly** I'll keep those monsters that are under my bed ... You can keep your waking reality

Loved the man, she drew each breath only for him, he was her purpose, her reason for being, she was created special, just for him. Their first kiss, she knew with newfound certainty that she no longer survived, on simple existance.. Oh no, she was finally ALIVE! she felt her heart beat, marveled at it as if she were hearing it for the first time. She found her surrender in that gift of love, she now belonged to him.....


I am here, I was here before-

not sure I wanna be here anymore.

It used to be said I didn't feel enough-

now all I hear is I feel too much.

Learning to trust-

when all you ever had was nothing more than dust.

Trusting to love harder than the first-

feeling now as if my heart will burst.

Was it my turn to shine in the sun-

maybe so, now my time seems done.

I fought so hard hung on so long-

how could it have been so wrong.

It feels as though I am alone-

while my soul in the past does roam.

Sit quietly, then you'll and perhaps you'll hear ?

It is the horrifying agony of our mother earth.

She's fed us, clothed us wrapped her loving arms of oak, maple or conifer around us, shielding us from her own wrath of fiercely blowing winds. She shields us with her softly swaying leaves from the searing heat that her growing sun inflicts upon us in uncontrollable moments of raging from the incomprehensible pain that we knowingly cause her. without our beautiful mother, so peaceful, wise we could not exists while she, with her quiet enduring ways, would undoubtedly thrive becoming even more lovely. How do you sleep at night, knowing that for all the comforts surrounding you, she was raped, to provide you your habitat, burned to warm your neglected self, you gorge yourself on foods she faithfully provides to the very point of extinction. How much do you expect her to swallow, before she strikes back? Aren't the filthy wastes you pollute her with enough? Or perhaps it is the fowl smokestacks spewing toxic chemicals into her once pure skies. When will you learn? He warnings heard will you continue your wasteful ways as the temperature slowly climbs year after year finally matching her frightening anger or will you be blind to the facts while your children starve because she stops feeding you?

She has tried to warn you don't you hear ? each day is a blessing each tree a treasure... take care of these gifts I give you? come tomorrow? they may be gone,


He made it happen, she hears those words, their meaning simple enough, and really quite clear. so she did -not- fail Him.. that too is understood with the greatest relief. It was the eternity between what she thought would be her final undoing and when those words slipped from His fingers that she is hopelessly entangled in. she is afraid to move, because she knows what happens yet because she is driven by a force she cannot fathom let alone control she finds herself doing the things for Him throughout her day, like all the days before that have always filled her with the calm of His presence, her flesh, His flesh responds to Him as it always has opening to Him as if He were right there, calling out to Him with that oh so familiar hinting twinge..staying to the ritual of serving Him in her actions, the heat of this body rises .. throbbing a shiver races down her spine realizing with a sudden start what was well into beginning His cup slams against the microwave door the liquid steaming clings to the bare flesh of her thigh to then flow down over the top of her foot as the cup crashes to the floor she can only stand there because she is held by the building tension at the very core of her slave being.. so welcoming the other day brought fear today please she wispered make it go... don't let it stay to only build more she is afraid, afraid that what took place last evening -oh but wait, it was His wish that it happened her response was what He desired in that moment.. remember that does not happen unless He wishes it never has because being a Master of His 'craft' she is just as He wants her ... she is okay... breathe.. as she slipped to her knees to pick up the broken glass, her focus immidiately races to that place within... she can almost see the wave as it rushes over her... the color of twilight with specks of gold sprinkled through out, she braces herself... will it ever be okay again??

She knows what she is.

those dark secret things of which she dreams-

what her heart cries out for-

the things that wake her in the night,

body begging for the dream to keep her

as her lungs fight for breath

her eyes struggle to remain open

that mouth, her mouth

forming a scream of terrible need

her body restless and wet from the torment

wrenching forth from her a misery

of her still beating heart

fighting ... for the strength

to wake and face the day

when all she wants to do is die

nothing but a shell... tired 
useless pieces of her potental

rotting away like dead flesh

an empty mass of nothingness

battered heart with a raped soul

for the ugliness it was

or the beauty it possesed

raging fire buried deep within her form

taking on a sense of prey

under the preditory strength

forced to maintain

facade of pseudo dominance

this would be her glorious end

darkness embrace her completely

and the beast would be no more.

It feels as if perhaps, the further I give into my slaveheart, the more maintenance I seem to need... is this normal? to be expected?

?Thank You , girl feels much more human... *sigh of relief* now girl is cock-minded... hyper focus can be a great thing... now I really really want..... *grins*

 I guess, because Master has returned home, I feel better about speaking these things to follow out loud...
 Seems so trivial.. Master was unavailable, the reasons not important.. for an entirety of 4 days... I was not made aware of His absence before hand, I think it is better that way in some cases, because I start to pull away.. not to mention the little freak out ... I know not what else to call them.. because that is literally what happens.. I freak out.. I hate it, I hate how I feel when He is gone, I hate the things my brain starts to think.. He is hurt, He doesn't want me anymore... even though Master is not the kind of Man to just disappear without giving reason.. so I know full well that He would tell me if ever that was the issue. (though if I do not start loosing weight on this diet... He may toss me out) *grins* I wonder how many panties will get tied in knots over that?
 I adore my Master... I think too much, I think I care too much, I think I feel too much.. sometimes it pisses me off...  sometimes I wish I liked Him a little less... because then so much would not matter as it does. Do I really want that? no.. but I seek to understand the strength of which I crave this Man. why when He said "you will quit smoking" why? because His views of me matter? yes, and because it was something I wanted to do long before but didnt have the strength to do myself.
why does loosing weight suddenly matter? because I need for Him to find me physically attractive? maybe a little, but then I remember He deserves the best of me, all of me not just my service, but all of it. Does He deserve it?  For as long as He wants it, for as long as He inspires this depth of feeling in me.. yes yes yes... do I like it... most of the time.. yes.. there are times when He is busy and I have only one ear... I get frustrated sometimes because I feel like I need Him so much...(I feel very honored to even have one of His ears)  surely He knows it... 
 This man is the reason I sit and still draw breath, He is the reason I wake each day... I thank You Master every day, I am allowed to be Yours, I am greatful.
 Master makes girl feel things she does not herself have control over and at times girl feels it too strong for her to handle... she wishes her Master to put a cap back on it all because there is this pain of wanting, of longing of needing... not sex, not orgasm, not for self... but to be for You... to be Your pack mule up the side of the mountain... to be Your target at practice, to be Your toy, to be Your canvas.. there is a pain of wanting longing and needing in simply being Yours.
Thank You Master...thank You

Even though, the thing I speak of is no longer a physical threat, there is something dark and frightening that lingers... I spent todays waking heartbeats agitated and jumpy ... everything that sounded like it could have maybe possibly come from someone at the doors sent me into a room with no windows and a locking door. *sighs* I feel like I have lost my home, my safety zone and I have no idea how to get it back.
Realizing I am in a bit of a panic mode, surely lessens the impact I would think, I am not handling the emotional upheaval as well as I think I should be or could be..

I feel unsettled and nervous. ... ick

I find it difficult to express the heart of my need to be for Him. I choke on this desire, not knowing the best way to express the ache within. and then I worry, what if it is not what He wants from me.. what if it is too much... I have come to realize that it is all these what if's that keep me from learning and growing.. yes it is terrifying to offer "this" and for an instant think what if He only wants "that" of me? but how can I truly be free if I try to limit myself... and in truth, it is not for me to decide.. it is His. He will tell me when something is not as He wishes it.
I struggle with always wishing for more ways to show the strength of my devotion to Him. What does that mean exactly, I am not certain..
I sit, waiting watching for some sign from Him that He wishes something of me.. I need to be of assistance, I need to be of use. I guess I begin to doubt myself in some manner when I am not serving Him. I have considered for the simple sake of argument (I have heard from others) the idea of serving another wondering if that would give me my fill so to speak... the problem is I never get very far with this line of thought because He is the only One that inspires in me the level of service that I need. What does this mean? am I not a true slave? I have said many times, that something of this nature is left to the people involved. is my submissive nature apparent? I would have to say yes, to those that are truly dominant in nature, I speak of the quiet dominance, I tend to laugh at the "chest pounders" of the lifestyle. The Dominance that just is...  The sense of self, the confidence, the whispers that something more than my ear hears...
I find myself frequenting the Gorean Board .. why? I believe it is because in many ways I am reminded of Master, while He is not a Gorean Man, there are some similarities... There are expectations that I am held to.. there are things that go on in other boards, behaviors and such, that would NEVER be tolerated, if I were to even repeat some of the things said... I shudder to think of it...there is a certain caliber of behavior that is pleasing, and there are the things that are not.
There is a time and a place for everything. when in doubt I ask... simple.
Speaking of simple, I have to say I am greatful for my place, to me it is so incredibly simple... learning what is pleasing or how things are done may be difficult at first, but once you know the rules... I guess I struggle to understand why I have heard how it is a struggle.
And Please, lets remember ... if anything within these lines bothers you or there is something you do not like.. stop reading.. it is that easy.
 

 Just wanted to say good morning to all the lovely people here.
 Life on my end goes on, of course as it always does sometimes i feel i am chasing it more than enjoying it.. is that because i lack the know how ... or because i am afraid of failure? i would have to say it is a bit of both... i have never had a safety net with which i could feel safe if i did fail at least not one that i felt could catch and hold me if i relied on it.

 Master has been very busy *sighs* i have tried to be very patient all outward signs suggest i am doing well without His visits but inside... it hurts this longing, this need... it screams to be. Please understand that it is all on Master at this point in time to make time, and it requires quite a bit, since it is over an hour drive one way, and i have yet to get my license all i have ever had is my permit... i keep missing the actual drive test by 2-3 points... it is aggrivating to say the least because i have never had something be so difficult to pass... i have never been pulled over for actually doing something wrong other than speeding... it seems that when there is someone watching me with a clipboard and pen... i panic... and forget the little things like setting your wheels when parking... i guess i will just keep taking it every other week... either i will get it because i actually pass or they get sick of seeing me either way, i win lol. Have a great day friends.

*edited to add.. please forgive the rambling nature of this entry there is just so much that wants aknowledged.. **

 I looked at my who's viewin' and saw a name in the list that I haven't seen or spoken to in quite a while... not sure what it means, so I looked at theirs... there are aspects of this person that I really miss... there was an openness in sexual exploration.. if it felt good.. we did it... i always envied this person for their eagerness and the utter joy as well as the orgasm after orgasm after orgasm after orgasm.... I could go on... I remember the fun we had...

Anyhow, I am glad all are well and happy... congrats!

Now onto other things..

 I am a bit lost... something has occured, which Master says He must deal with on His own..  there is nothing I can do to help, to make it easier, to ease it for Him and I hate it.. He isnt given to emotions much..but He is effected.. and I only wish I could be of use.. I don't know if I should just go away.. and wait or what?
  I feel like an ass "girl hopes Master had a good day today" which is a normal message I might leave for Him.. I know it wasn't a good day... *sighs softly* 

"breathe and just be" 

so I take this time away to focus harder on some goals that are between us.. for Him.. for me.. but  
 I feel a distance to Him.. I think this is my own doing again.. I don't mean to.. but if I feel like I have done wrong or feel like a pest, I pull away  a bit self preservation? insecurities? probably.
 I guess I should just draw strength from the daily tasks I have and conserve my energies as He will want/ need them when He is ready.
 I feel naughty given the timing of these needs that keep wanting attention.. *giggles* so instead of expressing them.. I will keep them to myself until such a time that Master is less burdened.. I miss Him like He has been away forever... but that happens when I can't feel Him... by the Gods I think I am addicted!
 Here in my previous post I said I didnt have any bad habits... oh yes, He is a bad.. bad habit... ......Mmmm  a very yummy one!
 Being submissive is considered a natural condition.. To be enslaved, requires a leash -holder.
 I hate all these things I feel because they are so raw and  untouched by common sense, not analyzed.. it isn't till later after He has gone, when I begin thinking of the things that transpired.. and I realize what I've said or done, a response to Him.. and I think, what the hell was that?? why did i.....  ?? I love how He brings all this mess to the surface I am .. His mess as He so nicely put it one day.
 Compelled I am to find non-verbal expressions.. because words are so lacking.

** I just want to take this oportunity to say thank You Master. thank You for all that the girl is and thank You for inspiring her to become more.

 

 Just because you have never found something that you can maintain some sense of devotion to.. doesn't mean you will find the same here. I absolutely abhore repeating myself, but here goes.. I am an OWNED slave-=-a very happy girl.
 I enjoy intellectual discourse (I love how those two words sound porno-ish.. bow-chicka-wow-wow)
 Typically, I think I am a very sweet tempered person, on the shy side, with new people and situations, not so much an issue when I find my spot in whatever it is I/we are doing- then I'm very likely found in the middle of it somewhere.
 I will admit to having a very ugly temper, if pushed to it. there is lots of warning before hand. I am fiercely loyal and protective of those I value enough to include in my world Once you have screwed up enough to be kicked from my airspace.. I will always (almost) be civil however I have been told I come across as cold and unfeeling. well in most cases that is a necessity a product of self preservation if you will.
 I don't have any bad habits.. well none like smoking.. drug use perscription or otherwise.
reminds me of once I asked Master if He had any bad habits.. He said.. well if I did.. I'd get rid of them. since then, I have tried to do the same.. do I still want a smoke.. yeah on occassion I find myself with that same nag in my chest, however, thanks to Master.. nu-huh! no way in .... ! but there is this twitch or shaking thing I do with my foot.. it is completely unknown to me as to what or why, although I have heard that those kinds of things are akin to sexual frustration.. *grins* I don't feel frustrated at the moment.. yes my foot is wiggling... Oh Master.... lol
 I think it is important to mention this absolute love of females I have... they are so pretty.. and smell so yummy.. mmmm ... I am bisexual... my mother thinks it's still a phase.. she missed alot of my life.. so maybe she forgets I am 33.. ? who knows I think it is disgusting when people spit.. allergies or cold.. whatever.. I don't care, it is nasty.
Well if you can't tell by this post.. I need sleep.. lol so I am off to try and find some.. xoxo

 So.. my step-father got grabby once not to long ago.. as a result I am a bit weary of this upcoming hometown visit.. at least the nipple rings are gone for now (to be redone by Master at a later date -they were a little crooked) I told my mom about the whole experience, (not right away) but I did...  why did I wait? because I guess I didn't think she would believe me... she never did when I was little so I assumed she wouldn't again... she may have... she said she did, but I didn't believe her... lol funny twist!
 I just won't be here .. or have someone here the time he is in town
 I wonder if this post will be flagged... ponders the thought of pushing it a bit naw... I'm too tired.
 I think I am going to move... I thought about getting a roomate again for about 5 seconds... the last 2 have been insane one couldn't tell the truth if someone put it in her mouth for her and the other one ... well she could never pay her share for one reason or another ... always something new.... she thought bringing gifts would plead her case for her... didn't help that she could never shut her mouth... or that she tried to get violent with me. (she missed don't worry) 
 I guess if someone comes along that can pay a fair share or clean the kitchen (I hate the kitchen) lol maybe I will reconsider.
 
 
 

I don't know, maybe it is just me... but I like finding new and interesting toys for my Master to play with. He is very good at what He does, and aside from pleasing Him, I guess I want to share with others the incredible experiences. Some say ... you should get to know the person first... I say well obviously I would like to, what better way than sharing an experience that opens your eyes, helps you grow, was educational, or just incredibly fun?
Not that all of the things I have found have worked out... no, as a matter of fact, rarely do they. but I need to be careful ... I would hate for them to be flakes, too scared of themselves to anything more than talk about it, or content in the fantasies of it all ... not me.. I want to touch it, taste it, live it.

hallo,
  It was very warm here today.. still is- :-(
we were going to take a trip to Chambers Creek (i love feeling the sand squish between my toes!) however it didn't happen.. instead i dealt with some... outside world business that i have been putting off... maybe end of the weekend... hopefully the weather holds a bit.
 I didn't sleep till after 4 AM i believe, and was up around 10 AM today has been a slow day for me. thank goodness.. i do need to get some ferret food.. i dont wanna go out there... gotta do it though.. the sun gives me a nasty headache.. yay! this is a very exciting post is it not? hehe... i just wanted to peek my head in and blow kisses to all my fans and favorite people. i will most likely return later... until then... don't have too much fun without me... or at least take pictures this time please???? *grins*

I miss the cuffs heavy around my wrists... heavy.. the noises the little locks make against the other metal... Mmmmm ... I miss them... in His chains I am free.

 girl was gifted with another wonderful visit from her Master it was yet another incredible experience, just to take her place at His feet while we watched television was glorious.
 There are things that girl does for Him when He is not physically with her, that she always takes great pleasure in, and is greatful for those little things that strengthen her link to Him *smiles warmly* to do those things when He is... there aren't words sometimes to express the feelings He inspires within.
 girl did experience something she called separation anxiety or perhaps Master withdrawls when He left her. she found an effective way to deal with it, by naming it, giving that feeling a color, then shaping it into a ball, she tossed it away from her... it only came back to wack the girl a few times... which is indeed better than falling to the floor in a puddle of emptiness *smiles* Master was most understanding and kind to the girl and her tears. she is so very lucky to serve Him.
 Master did not push His girl this visit, she trusts in His methods, knowing He has reasons for everything He does or doesn't do.
Thank You Master for all that You give to Your girl. even if she tried till the end of all time, she could not give to You all You have to her. thank You for teaching her, for holding her and for her "purple paddlebutt" *grins* girl adores You.